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Monday July 23 Pt. 1
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Monday, July 23; 3pm
It’s been two days since our arrival at White Ridge and the only comfort I have in being here is that Dr. Moore is patient and kind. I don’t remember them moving me to his house. The last thing I do remember is his conversation with the beta and making plans to get in contact with my father and with Alpha Black. I have no idea if that has happened as I’ve refused to come out of the room he put me in. I was barely able to move from the medical observation room I woke up in, to the efficiency bedroom that Jamie and I will stay in for however long we’re here. Beta Greene helped Jamie and Dr. Moore’s personal omega, Sara, gather our things from the prospect’s apartments and bring them to Dr. Moore’s house.
Despite having free access to my medication my fear is overwhelming and now that dad has stranded us at White Ridge even my wolf has his doubts about returning. He’s gone unusually quiet after apologizing for being so adamant that we leave when I really wanted to stay.
We are supposed to leave today but the latest update from this morning is Alpha Redmen is proving difficult to get on the phone. Even more surprising, according to Beta Greene, everyone involved in the prospect program at Red Fang is refusing to speak to him. They were supposed to be here at noon but we’re two hours past that and no word of their arrival has happened. We were instructed by the beta not to pack our stuff until they had confirmation that someone was coming, making me even more nervous.
Dr. Moore is giving me Zofran regularly. It was either take it and eat or submit to a feeding tube. It became easier to eat when Jamie started bringing me the food wrapped up yesterday. I’m crazy nervous as I head down the stairs. Beta Greene requested that Jamie and I meet with him in Dr. Moore’s office. I’m having a hard time believing that anything good is going to happen with this meeting considering the news we received this morning.
I meet Jamie at the bottom of the stairs. He’s far more familiar with the house, partially turned hospital, than I am.
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show. Try to relax. Alpha Andrew and Beta Michael may be transferred here from the council but they are concerned and are working very hard to help us.”
“When did you find that out?” I ask, barely finding my voice.
“Beta Michael accidentally let it slip at dinner last night. They said they would give us more information about Alpha Whiteman and this pack at this meeting.”
I nod my head as I take the final steps off the stairs.
“Cole,” I stop my progression as Jamie grabs my hand. I don’t have time to fight him as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“I know you’re scared but please trust me to know who’s out to hurt and betray us. You are my alpha and I will not abandon you. It doesn’t matter what it takes to get you back to Alpha Black, I will get you there.”
A quiet thank you is all I can manage as I return the hug and lean my head on his shoulder. Why didn't I realize how comforting the scent of my best friend was before now?
“Feel better?” He asks as I lift myself up off him. I nod silently.
“Come. His office is this way.”
I follow silently through the house into the hospital portion, which appears to be much larger. It takes longer than I would have liked to get through the maze of halls making up the hospital half of this mini mansion, upping my anxiety in the process. We come to a stop in front of a closed door at the end of a long hallway, knocking lightly before waiting for an answer. The door opens from the other side without the answer Jamie seemed to be looking for.
Unfortunately for me, Jamie steps aside and motions for me to enter first. While I recognize this is common courtesy towards alphas, even after Alpha Black helped us discover that we are as fated to be together as mates are, I have asked him repeatedly not to treat me as an alpha.
“I’m not an alpha.” I grumble quietly as I walk past him.
I follow Dr. Moore about half way into his office before turning quickly and attempting to run out. Unfortunately, Jamie has anticipated my fearful reaction to being in an alpha’s office and blocks the way. A loud grunt echos off the bare walls when we collide.
“Close and lock the door.”
Jamie’s voice is calm but stern yet I’m so blinded by my sudden panic that I’m struggling to place who he’s talking to.
“I didn’t have you enter first because you’re an alpha. I know what these meetings do to you and it’s important that you’re able to attend these meetings in order to hear and understand the information they need to give you.”
He speaks gently near my ear as he holds me tight, waiting for my panic to subside. The room is silent except for the sounds of footsteps making their way behind me.
“They want to give us some insight into the White Ridge pack before we meet with Alpha Whiteman. They are also trying to understand why your fear is so high. Why you chose to return home if things are so bad that you change your mind as soon as the established plan changes. I haven’t told them details. Only Alpha Black knows about our torment.”
I lean my head against his shoulder with a quiet apology.
“We understand from your comments that talking with us, knowing that we are part of the council, is difficult for you to do but we do need to be able to talk with you about what’s going on and considering your reaction towards us when you got here, we felt meeting with you might provide some comfort when we have to meet with Alpha Whiteman.”
I stand and turn towards Dr. Moore when he finishes.
“Do we have to?” I whisper, embarrassed at my own fearfulness of this pack’s alpha.
“Yes, Cole, we have to. He’s the one making the calls, scheduling the phone conference with your father and Alpha Black.”
“Please don’t make me be there when he talks to him. Please. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to go back to Red Fang. I want my mate. I want Alpha Black. I want to go home.”
Tears are streaming down my face like a pup who’s lost his way.
“I thought Red Fang was home?” Beta Greene asks, confused.
I shake my head as I turn back to Jamie. Lying my head on his shoulder again, cursing myself for acting so childish.
“Home is where they love you.” I manage to choke through the sobs that have enveloped me since I woke up here Saturday morning.
“I’m sorry, Cole, but I think it’s best that we continue the conversation in here. Jamie felt that sitting away from the desk might make it easier for you to relax so we decided to have this meeting in my library. Jamie, if you could guide him back here through the door the two of you can have your choice of seating. We’re going to take a few minutes to gather some drinks and light snacks. Hopefully it will be long enough for the two of you to settle down and get comfortable.”
I wrap my arms tightly around Jamie, completely defeated and lost. My mental health has completely crashed as my pleas continue to fall upon deaf ears. It takes everything Jamie has, both in physical strength and aura, to move me into the library while I fight both him and my mental battles. I’m desperately trying to calm myself, knowing that it’s only with a calm mind that I’m going to be able to comprehend the plans in play at the moment.
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(Andre’s POV) Stepping into the pack house is surreal at best. My head is spinning out of control with thoughts I had desperately tried to put behind me. I had relinquished all hope of ever having my kids just for the full force of the unpredictably of my life to cripple me when I need to be my strongest. The house is silent as I pick my way through the crowd. Julius is carrying Harper and Abe is trailing behind the two of us. It seems Julius wants as much of a barrier as he can create between Hayden and any escape route he may manage to find. I’m more concerned about him getting lost inside the pack house than him getting outside it. This place has proven to be a maze to me despite living here full time for the last six months. The house is completely silent except for the television quietly counting down the seconds until the new year. I can only hope that this year is different. That the New Year will actually be the change I’ve needed for years. Shamefully, I feel the dread tha
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“To show him the effects that abuse has on others. To prove to him once and for all that what his father taught him is wrong. Besides, Charles has been extremely cruel to Andre as well.” “How so?” “Well, I just learned tonight that Alpha Redmen gave each of his sons permission to have sex, to even rape, at the age of sixteen but lied about the penalty for getting the lady pregnant. Andre has been beaten multiple times for pregnancies. The first two were not his, yet he was mercilessly beaten three times during both of those pregnancies. He was forgiven a fourth when the pups came back not his. The beatings got worse when he got three others pregnant just to be denied the ability to be their father. The two older ones with two different ladies are in better packs than Red Fang but the two with him now. Well, their mother isn’t much of a mother.” I state sadly as I pull into the garage, turning off the motor as the door closes behind me. “I need your help. These pups are terrified a
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I wake up yelping, screaming and fighting from the fitful dream I fell into during the ride to Red General. I cling hard to the back of Alpha Julius’s shirt as he silently embraces me. I had no idea how hard dad had been on me until I went to Blister Ridge. I had to harden up while I was back at Red Fang which has not only delayed my ability to process what has happened but it has added to the trauma I’m already struggling with. Josh has diagnosed me with complex PTSD, he did shortly after I moved into this pack after Cole disappeared. He simplified the description as being multiple traumatic events instead of just one causing the post trauma anxiety. Julius waits patiently for me to get myself together as going into the hospital with my own PTSD on full display won’t help me with my kids. I lift myself from his shoulder slowly, taking several deep breaths with my eyes still closed. It’s only as I open them and look into his blue-green eyes that he speaks. “Are you ready?” His voic
