“He’s in a lot of pain doc.”
Jamie barely whispers loud enough to be heard. I know he can feel my guilt but he doesn’t say a word.
“Cole, I need you to respond through your link with Jamie. Your lungs have freed up but are still constricted. Jamie said you’re in pain, where is it concentrated?”
I place my hand in the center of my chest as I simultaneously think about the location.
“Your chest?” He tries to confirm.
“He says that it’s a constant ache that turns sharp when he breathes in. It’s hard for me to handle through the link. I don’t know if that helps any with the intensity he’s feeling.”
He stands up straight, keeping one hand on my chest. The one holding the stethoscope to my back is now gently gliding along my arm towards my neck. I whine sharply and squirm with the discomfort of his touch to the side of it.
“Doctor Andrew, while he fears touch he also craves it. Positive touch I think is what Alpha Black calls it. He relaxes with gentle pets on his head. He can’t stand anyone touching his neck. I’m sorry, I know it’s too much information but he looks like he really wants to comfort you.”
His sentence finishes as an apology to me.
“I had a feeling that he might not be as well off as Alpha Redmen tried to tell us.”
I whimper as I fight, not understanding the new voice that just walked in.
“Shhhh, calm down Cole. I know I had said that I was going to step away but you went into that coughing fit as soon as I set up the oxygen. I linked with Michael so he could help me get you to my house. You need a lot more support than he anticipated.”
I stop my fight and lay my head. I freeze up as I feel the softness of a pillow that wasn’t there before.
“What do you need to get him comfortable enough to move?”
While his voice is soft it’s a lot louder now that he’s right next to Dr. Moore.
“While I’m guessing that he’s been mistreated with shots, his reaction earlier makes me believe that making this as painless as possible will be to his benefit.”
I start squirming in an effort to get out of his hold as I really don’t like where this is going.
“Try to relax, Cole. I need you to really think about this. Do you think you can handle swallowing Vicodin? If you can, then I can avoid the shot but with how constricted your breathing is, my concern is that you would choke trying.”
I whine in defeat, laying my head again on the pillow.
“What do you need? I’ve had training in pharmacy and medical preparation. I can get a shot ready for you. He seems to be responding to you.”
“That would be great, Michael. Thank you.”
I struggle to remain still as Beta Greene walks away and starts going through the cabinets.
“I’m going to sit beside the chair you’re in. It seems you like the position that you’re in and we do need to talk a little.”
He breaks loose of my grip and steps away to get his chair.
“I need you to draw two milliliters of the 5/325 milligram Vicodin then switch the needle to a one inch 28 gauge.”
“The smaller needle will take longer for the medication to pass through.”
“I know but the small size will reduce what he feels.”
He’s back beside the chair by the time the conversation ends and I’m even more nervous about him touching me. I roll towards the center of the chair but it’s useless to try and move away from him. The only way out is to leave the chair and my complete exhaustion prevents that from happening.
“Have you considered talking to the council about your situation?” Dr. Moore asks as he starts running his hand through my hair.
“He says that the council has only made things worse. He’s tried talking to other alpha’s involved in the prospect program but that has only resulted in being confined to the hospital and forced to undergo painful tests just to be sent home in the same condition that he arrived. He has a really bad feeling about being here now that we’ve been told that we are a last minute add on to this run. He wants to scrap the plan he had for returning home and return to Crimson Dawn instead. He wants to talk to Alpha Black.”
Jamie communicates my thoughts to the alpha and beta. My mind spirals into repetition, squeezing the edges of the blanket wrapped around me in a grip tight enough to turn my knuckles white. Only I can’t see what they are as I’ve squeezed my eyes shut as well.
“He said something like that when they got out of the van.”
Beta Greene is back beside the chair.
“Hold still.” Dr. Moore comments as he wipes my arm off.
“He hates shots.” Jamie comments as his hands cover mine.
“They’re easier if you relax.” He speaks softly to me.
‘I can’t relax. I don’t know what’s in that shot, how much they’re giving me, who they are, what they’re motives are? I want to run. I want to fight.’
“We both know you can’t run or fight like this. Let me lay with you. I think it will calm you to have me near.”
I can’t tell if they agree, all I know is the feeling of hands on me, gently rolling me back to my side. I try to fight but only succeed in proving Jamie right, I can’t fight.
He lays on his side, joining me in the chair. Instinctively I grab him, burying my face into his neck. I need something familiar to get me through this panic attack. I take in deep breaths in an effort to slow my short, rapid pants down but it only results in my whimpers of pain being heard.
“I’m smart enough to know something isn’t right with you and while I have my suspicions I will leave you be for now. I just want to help but it seems that your experience with talking has made that difficult for you to allow me to do. It’s not so bad around here since Alpha Whiteman reached out to the council for help. I have a feeling that this Vicodin is going to push you over the edge towards sleep. Don’t fight it. We will get you moved even if you’re sleeping. You’re not going to feel much from this.”
Having Jamie laying with me and the doctor’s explanation provides a calm that I can’t explain. I feel the prick of the needle shortly after his hand wraps around my arm. Everything is finished in a matter of seconds. I listen to everything going on starting with the doctor and beta stepping away from the chair.
“Now that he’s drugged with codine and a sedative, what’s your plan for moving him?”
I hear the beta ask a short distance away from us.
“The ambulance gurney. Roll it up to the chair, lower it down, move him from the chair, strap him down, then wheel him out the door.”
“You make it sound so simple. Wouldn't it be better to allow him to get in the wheelchair or on the gurney without us lifting him? He’s capable of standing and walking after all.”
“His anxiety is too high. He has all the classic symptoms of long term abuse and putting our hands on him while he’s awake is going to keep both his anxiety and asthma high. Set up a meeting with Alpha Whiteman. I want a conference call with both Alpha Redmen of Red Fang pack and Alpha Black of Crimson Dawn pack but not at the same time. Cole and Jamie will stay at my house until we sort out what’s going on.”
“How much do we tell Alpha Whiteman?”
My hearing is slowly diminishing as the combination of medication takes effect.
“For now, my opinion is between us. I will decide on what needs to be disclosed after we talk to Alpha Redmen.”
That’s the last thing I hear before my spinning brain loses its fight to stay awake.
Monday, July 23; 3pmIt’s been two days since our arrival at White Ridge and the only comfort I have in being here is that Dr. Moore is patient and kind. I don’t remember them moving me to his house. The last thing I do remember is his conversation with the beta and making plans to get in contact with my father and with Alpha Black. I have no idea if that has happened as I’ve refused to come out of the room he put me in. I was barely able to move from the medical observation room I woke up in, to the efficiency bedroom that Jamie and I will stay in for however long we’re here. Beta Greene helped Jamie and Dr. Moore’s personal omega, Sara, gather our things from the prospect’s apartments and bring them to Dr. Moore’s house. Despite having free access to my medication my fear is overwhelming and now that dad has stranded us at White Ridge even my wolf has his doubts about returning. He’s gone unusually quiet after apologizing for being so adamant that we leave when I really wanted to s
Jamie coaches me quietly over to the couch, waiting patiently for me to let him go and take a seat. It takes me several minutes before I’m able to pry my eyes from the floor enough to look around the room. I’m surprised to discover that the doctor and the beta have yet to join us. The room is indeed a library but it’s unlike any I’ve been in before. The room is longer than his office is wide, making me believe that it extends all the way to the other side of the wing. Bookshelves completely filled with books line the north wall from floor to ceiling separated into four equal sections. Windows with long beige curtains separate the ends from the center and a fireplace separates the center. A large eight by ten foot area rug sits beneath my feet donning a simple motif of beige, black, and magenta squares. I move my toes slowly across the fibers. They are short but soft, giving me something simple yet pleasing to concentrate on. The loveseat we sit on is comfortably plush with a magenta
“Good afternoon, Alpha Demetri. How are you doing?” “I’m doing well. How’s Cole fairing?” “He’s unfortunately on quite the roller coaster but I’m hoping this conference call will help him.” I stand just in front of the couch not certain what to make of the situation. “Cole, before we start talking too deeply I need to know if we need to cut the crap.” “Wh…. What?” I barely stammer, unable to comprehend what he’s asking me. “Do you remember the first time, the only time you have ever said that to me?” “Ye… yes sir.” “So I need you to slow down, think about the situation you were in then and tell me if we need to cut the crap.” His voice is stern, making me wonder if I’ve done something wrong. “No sir.” Hearing his voice has made it even more difficult to function. “Can you hand Cole the phone? I have an important question to ask him.” “You’re on speaker phone so he can hear you but yes, I can give him the phone for a little bit.” Alpha Andrew walks up to me with his hand
“I really didn’t want to talk about all this.” “I know it’s hard but the more we know the easier it will be to help you.” He encourages gently. I sigh hard before I start explaining. “Growing up everyone in class talked about the link and how it worked. It was quite embarrassing to admit that I had no idea what they were talking about.” “I’m certain that was especially difficult considering you’re the alpha’s son.” “Yes sir, it was. On top of what he was already doing to me, the bullying that came from not knowing my wolf at six years old was quite devastating. Chloe discovered me crying, hiding on the floor at the back of the bus. She told me that the school had called dad and he linked with her asking her to find me. I paid dearly for running away from class but on top of my punishment that evening he grabbed the back of my neck and growled at me; ‘you want to know about the link?’ It felt like my head exploded. I could hear him, feel him in my head. It felt like it took foreve
“Good. If at any time you feel overwhelmed let me know and feel free to ask questions. You as well, Demetri.” “Yes sir. Thank you, Andrew.” “Forty years ago Alpha Winston Whiteman was the only child out of five to survive a devastating rogue attack on the White Ridge pack. The council believes that it was only because he was the youngest child and the rogues didn’t know who he was that they allowed him to live. Members of the pack naturally knew who he was and while all alpha, beta and delta wolves were either killed or run off from the pack, the gamma and omega ranks were forced to assimilate into the pack the rogues created. Alpha Whiteman was three years old when the attack happened and it was fated mates Bruce and Emily Deeds who worked very closely with the Whiteman’s who ultimately saved his life. Emily was Winston’s personal nanny which made it so that when the rogues broke into the pack house Emily was able to grab Winston and run him to her house. The rogues left him belie
“I do believe that I was the first, although I also believe that others have followed. What happened was the council and committee in this region discovered an imbalance of power. The national committee members had recently passed regulations on how many both needed to have in each region. It was discovered that the committee in this region was low by ten members so they went to each of the ten regional council headquarters that they are in charge of and asked each one for a list of the members who they would consider promoting to the committee. I heard that it was an extensive process but considering my interview and promotion offer was at the tail end I wasn’t informed of everything that went into their decision. They were shocked when I told them I felt I still had work to settle at the council and I wasn’t willing to move unless I could come back. They never explained why but they allowed me to keep both positions and I was very active in both positions until eight years ago. As
“Something happens if you return after the deadline?” I shake my head trying to rid myself of the regular welcoming I tend to receive. “I only know what happens when I return with the rest of the prospects three months into a run. I’ve never been this close to his deadline.” “Your welcome home isn’t very welcoming, is it?” I shake my head again as I go silent. “Thank you. I understand better why Demetri and Xavier have taken steps to make your request to return so seriously so quickly. The current state of the council makes things move at a snail's pace and time is not on your side. You asked about information on operation underground. I believe your now secondary plan for returning to Crimson Dawn is reliant on it.” I nod my head but again stay silent. “As I said, I can’t get into details on how it works as that’s not something anyone knows until they are actively in it but I can give you history on how it got started.” I cock my head, curious to hear what was never taught in
(Jamison’s POV)“Stop it! Just leave me be! Why isn’t it enough that you’ve abandoned me here with the sole purpose of forcing me to miss your deadline! What have I done to deserve this torture!” I startle awake as my best friend screams. The last four days have been an utter nightmare for Cole as his father has found the perfect way to torture him without ever touching him. His unrelenting links with Cole has left him exhausted and riddled in pain and that’s just the physical effects. On one of his father’s longer breaks yesterday, he managed to tell me some of the things that Alpha Redmen has told him. He started early in the morning Tuesday randomly rattling off all the things he plans to do to Cole when he gets home. Despite his inconsistency with exactly what he’s planning on doing or using on Cole, one thing has remained the same, he’s not coming to get us. Cole’s deadline will expire and his welcoming will be “the best yet.” Cole did report that his father has been consistent
“It was during his return that things became more active in his case. Alpha Demetri made the trip with his mate to the Shadowlands pack. Turns out she’s an empath and was very sick with silver poisoning. They were able to save her and to the best of my knowledge he returned to Crimson Dawn around the beginning of the year.”“He did it? He made it home?”His face lights up like a child on Christmas day.“Yes, he is with his mate in the protections of Alpha Demetri Black. Unfortunately, his amnesia has not yet resolved and as a precaution, in order to obtain custody of Cole, Alpha Black had to agree to restrict his movements until his mental health improves.”“He’s a prisoner there?”I had a feeling he would take this part hard.“Not necessarily. Considering what little I know about the hell he lived through next door and his encounter with the alpha of Purple Mountain, I don’t see where he’ll have the desire to leave that territory any time soon.”He nods his head a little more relaxed
(Julius’s POV) I smile as the tall frame of my son in law stops and knocks on my open door. “You wanted to see me?” “Yes sir. Please come in.” He steps inside the room but only manages to close the door halfway before the demons of his past creep back upon him. “I would prefer this to be a private conversation but if closing the door makes it feel like you’re going to be punished then I encourage you to keep it open.” I speak my true feelings as he slowly turns around. The look of disbelief on his face. While it takes him several deep breaths he does manage to shut the door by the time I’ve stood from my desk. “Where would you like to sit?” Once again he’s in disbelief. “I need you as relaxed and level headed as possible. Where would you be the most comfortable?” I try again. “The recliner?” He manages to speak after a hard swallow. I nod and allow him to lead. He chooses the rocking recliner allowing him to rock subtlety as Hayden stirs gently. I smile as he console
“I threw a fit. Charles waited until I was outside the courtroom to start punishing me for embarrassing him. He punched me in the face several times before I fell to the ground, then he started kicking me. He kept me on the ground until he was certain Heather and Marcus had left. Even though I had driven my own car to court he dragged me to his. He drove me home, only he didn’t go to the garage. No, he went to the back of the west wing where the room he modified for Cole is. I’ve only been in that room a handful of times when participating in my brother’s torture.” I stop as the memories of wrapping the silver belt around his leg and the condition he was in when I rescued him eight months ago blend together in a confusing mess. Murmurs float around the room, commenting on my unprompted confession. “Breathe, Andre. That was a very difficult truth to admit to. No comments will be made.” I know he’s addressing the pack as I continue to struggle. “You knew what was going to happen to
“I’m concerned about you Andre.” Julius now has my attention only he has crouched down to my level. “While your statement seems to have helped Hayden it gave me the clue I was looking for.” “A clue to what?” “The true reason behind the terror you have in gaining custody of your kids. While any other wolf in this pack saying such a thing would be passed off as simply being very serious about their statement, you stating that you nearly died once to fight for them is something I take very seriously. What happened the last time they were taken from you?” I shake my head hard, holding my breath as I fight against the flashbacks trying to invade my thoughts. “Andre?” He tries again but all I can do is shake my head slowly. “Papa Redmen hit him. He made him bleed.” The innocent voice of my daughter breaks through. “You saw it?” Abe seems shocked that it would be done in front of her. I watch as she nods her head. “Mommy spanked me for crying.” She whines hard before laying against h
(Andre’s POV) Stepping into the pack house is surreal at best. My head is spinning out of control with thoughts I had desperately tried to put behind me. I had relinquished all hope of ever having my kids just for the full force of the unpredictably of my life to cripple me when I need to be my strongest. The house is silent as I pick my way through the crowd. Julius is carrying Harper and Abe is trailing behind the two of us. It seems Julius wants as much of a barrier as he can create between Hayden and any escape route he may manage to find. I’m more concerned about him getting lost inside the pack house than him getting outside it. This place has proven to be a maze to me despite living here full time for the last six months. The house is completely silent except for the television quietly counting down the seconds until the new year. I can only hope that this year is different. That the New Year will actually be the change I’ve needed for years. Shamefully, I feel the dread tha
“To show him the effects that abuse has on others. To prove to him once and for all that what his father taught him is wrong. Besides, Charles has been extremely cruel to Andre as well.” “How so?” “Well, I just learned tonight that Alpha Redmen gave each of his sons permission to have sex, to even rape, at the age of sixteen but lied about the penalty for getting the lady pregnant. Andre has been beaten multiple times for pregnancies. The first two were not his, yet he was mercilessly beaten three times during both of those pregnancies. He was forgiven a fourth when the pups came back not his. The beatings got worse when he got three others pregnant just to be denied the ability to be their father. The two older ones with two different ladies are in better packs than Red Fang but the two with him now. Well, their mother isn’t much of a mother.” I state sadly as I pull into the garage, turning off the motor as the door closes behind me. “I need your help. These pups are terrified a
(Julius’s POV)It’s an hour's drive to get from Red General to the Red Moon pack house. Since Charles has been removed, moving through the Red Fang territory has become easier as the borders are completely open while the council is here. The bad news is, it’s gotten a lot more dangerous. While open borders allows the pack members to come and go, even move out if they please, it also allows rogues to infiltrate the territory. I’ve had to up my own guards on the border to account for the vulnerability it’s created for my own pack. The council hasn’t been happy with me accompanying Andre to and from the territory. They felt that, as the coronated heir, he should be able to handle this himself. I took the opportunity of his consistent meltdowns to save the fallout from such visits showing the council exactly how severe his abuse has been. I cringe every time I hear him speak about his brother, Cole. How has Cole even survived if his analogy of the situation is true? That Cole’s suffering
“It’s quite alright. We are used to this type of reaction from children who come in abused. I can tell by the way he’s calmed that you are his biological father. We’ve been waiting for you.” I’m stunned when a voice comes from behind me instead of the nurse in front of me. I turn to see an unfamiliar woman in the doorway in front of Julius and Alex. Something about her unnerves deeply and my immediate reaction is to step back. “Easy Andre, she’s here to help.” Julius tries to calm me. We study each other silently as I sway gently. “I understand that you have had a very rough time with the council’s family court. I promise it is different this time. Take a seat so we can talk. Are you okay with me sitting on Harper’s bed?” I nod slowly without moving. “Mr. Redmen, do you think you can get him to take this?” The nurse hands me a little cup of purple liquid. “What is it?” “Tylenol 3. It has a small amount of codeine in it. Humans won’t give it to children this young but it has be
I wake up yelping, screaming and fighting from the fitful dream I fell into during the ride to Red General. I cling hard to the back of Alpha Julius’s shirt as he silently embraces me. I had no idea how hard dad had been on me until I went to Blister Ridge. I had to harden up while I was back at Red Fang which has not only delayed my ability to process what has happened but it has added to the trauma I’m already struggling with. Josh has diagnosed me with complex PTSD, he did shortly after I moved into this pack after Cole disappeared. He simplified the description as being multiple traumatic events instead of just one causing the post trauma anxiety. Julius waits patiently for me to get myself together as going into the hospital with my own PTSD on full display won’t help me with my kids. I lift myself from his shoulder slowly, taking several deep breaths with my eyes still closed. It’s only as I open them and look into his blue-green eyes that he speaks. “Are you ready?” His voic