I had already gone a little distance when I heard Hailey call out to me.
"Gwen?" I stopped in my tracks and turned slowly to look at her, she was worried.
"I asked that you stay awhile."
"I know but I can't stay any longer." She turned back in the direction of the town square, as if in thought.
"I saw Albert, did he upset you? If so, I will plant him a facer." I laughed, relaxing as all my anger left me.
"No, he still hates pa though."
"Hold on, I will say my good bye to Sammy and come with you."
"Of course not. I really don't want to be a bother and ruin your evening, my friend, I know you still want to stay more with Sammy. I am going to the pub to get my pa." She frowned and I knew why, things never ends well whenever I go there.
"You are just going to get harassed again. I would rather have you go home instead."
"I understand, Hailey. But he is my papa and it's my duty to care for him, I will try to bring him home."
"Good luck with that. If you get into some trouble, don't say I didn't warn you. We part." She angrily turned around and headed back to the town square.
I braced myself and made for the pub. Just as Hailey is right, so is Albert; my papa wasn't just an ignoble fellow, he wasn't a good man either. He would spend days brewing rum to sell, only to lavish the money in the pub on gambles and he never gave me any. Not that I was without any means of making ends meet; I took care of my dead mother's livestock and I occasionally made dresses for some women and girls as I didn't charge much but made beautiful dresses, so I never really needed his money.
After he must have spent an entire day on gambling, I would go to the pub to try to convince him to come home, but I only ended up abused and embarrassed. Now, it's been a whole week since he last set foot home.
It was frightening enough staying alone at night, but what was worst were the boys, some of Sammy's friends who would never fail to drop by, asking me for a night. On occasions, I had scared them off with my father's rifle, but it wasn't enough threat as I never really fired it. So, I accepted Hailey's request of staying with her family most of the nights to avoid them. I mean, weren't they Sammy's friends? He should have just told them to leave me alone; the useless delinquent.
Hailey's family was nothing like mine. Her father made a living by going from town to town trading, but he comes home every opportunity he gets and with presents for his family. If only my pa would forget the pub and lead a better life, people like Albert would respect him.
If you actually think about it, my pa wasn't always like that and I used to have a complete family when my ma and my brother were around, but after ma had a bad fever and died, pa was heartbroken and he started drinking his rum to excess. Robert couldn't handle papa's state and he left with just a kiss in my hair.
Well, that was twelve years ago and not a word from my brother. I was just seven years old, but he left me to take care of our father on my own; our drunken father.
"Hateful pub! I wish you burn to the ground." I muttered under my breath angrily as I got to the pub. But of course, if this particular pub burns down, there is another pub in the next town and if pa starts going there, it would take months before I set my eyes on him.
I exhaled and walked into the pub.
"Aha! Here's the lucky lady." I frowned at the elderly drunk men sitting around my pa and drinking rum. My pa was spread across on the floor in his filth, barely noticing me.
"Good evening, Gwendolyn. Ah, you look beautiful tonight." Old Trevor said, coming closer to me, the heavy smell of rum on his breath made my knees weak. I disliked all the drunks but I disliked Old Trevor even more; he was a merchant like Hailey's pa but he always came back with a pregnant young girl he married on his trip even when he already had half a dozen wives and three times more children. He was a disgusting man.
"I have good news for you. Your beauty stuns me, I must say."
"Get your hands off me!" I yelled, slapping his hand away from my cheek. I bent over pa on the floor.
"Papa, let's go home now, you have had enough already." I tried getting him off the floor but his weight was too much for me. Old Trevor grabbed my arm suddenly and pulled me up.
"You're not going anywhere, my dear. Well, except to my house of course." He laughed and the other drunks echoed him.
"Let go this instant!" The men laughed again and this time pa joined them, reaching for a chair.
"Let me first tell you the good news. Ol' Benjamin here wager you during our last game and I won, now you are mine." What nonsense was he saying? I struggled to get free but he was surprisingly too strong for me. I was so confused.
"That's not true! Pa would never do that."
"Well, ask him yourself, I have lots of witnesses." That can't be true. I turned to pa.
"Papa, you didn't do that, did you? You wouldn't put me at stake like that, am I right?" He got off the chair and walked over to me, swaying from left to right.
"Oh I did, I did. But I won his cattle and it's a lot of money."
"What? Papa!?" He broke into a laugh and fell to the floor, falling asleep immediately.
"Now, my dear, I will take you to my house and I will treat you real nice. Come along."
"No!" I struggled with all my might to get free. It was madness, I wasn't a petty thing they could play around with like that. I bit and scratched, I kicked and banged, but even more hands were holding me still.
"Unhand the lady." We all paused and turned to the voice. The stranger looked like a man of comfortable living, neatly dressed in green riding clothes and a sword hanging on his belt; he was in fact a gentleman. What was he doing in a place like that?
"This ain't no business of yours, knight. This girl belongs to me." Old Trevor grunted at the stranger who nodded.
"So I heard. But her father is drunk and I am certain he wouldn't gamble her in his right senses." My heart leaped. He was a stranger and he must have witnessed everything that happened, yet he believes papa wouldn't have gambled me if he wasn't drunk. No one has ever thought of my father as a good man ever since his drinking problem. I was grateful to the stranger.
"However, I'm not taking her by force. Name your price and I will buy her from you." He was buying my freedom? Such a kind man.
The drunks exchanged looks and they nodded.
"You fetch me forty silver coins and I'll give her to you." Old Trevor said with a sinister smile. The stranger sighed and reached into his coat and took out a money bag and threw it at Old Trevor.
"That should be about sixty, I don't care. Give me the lady and we will be on our way." The men dived for the money bag, releasing me.
"Come with me, lady." The stranger leaned forward to take my arm, leading me out of the pub; I didn't protest, I was all smiles.
"Oh, thank you so much, Sire. I fear to think what would have happened if you weren't there to help me." I said to him but he was barely listening as he called out to the stable boy to bring his horse.
"You are leaving, Sire? I thought you might stay and I shall make tea for you, to show my gratitude." The horse was in his possession as he turned to me, looking confused.
"Make tea for me in gratitude?" He paused and laughed loudly. "Lady, I didn't just pay sixty silver coins to be repaid by drinking tea. I bought you from the old drunk and you now belong to me, we are leaving... together." My heart dropped heavily in my chest.
"Leave? B-bought me?" I was confused and scared and I just didn't know what to feel. And here I was thinking he rescued me, he just bought himself a slave."Yes, now get on." He looked irritated and angry."Wait a moment, I can't leave, this is my home. If only you'd give me a month, I will get you your money back. I can sew a hundred dresses and I can increase my prices so the...""Quiet!" He snapped and I shut my mouth. "I've had a long journey searching for a wife and now I've found you, I have to get back to my business. Now come on." His wife?! My face felt hot immediately. I would be his wife? Just like that? Wait a moment, I didn't know this man and... marriage?! Yes, he was a fine looking young man with an impressive height and beautiful blue eyes and long dark brown hair he binded, but he was a stranger and certainly not from Durnca; I couldn't leave my home like that.Getting impatient, he made to grab me but I avoided his hand."Hold on,
The rapist jerked away from me suddenly and ran away to his horse, jumping on the beast and speeding away into the night.I was left alone with the gentleman.I got off the ground and did the best I could to shield my bodice away from the gentleman's eyes; I didn't have to try though, his attention was still on the spot the rapist had been. He was just so quiet and just so focused."Are you hurt?" I was almost startled when I heard him speak. Hurt? Was he worried about me?"I am alright. My dress is...""I told you not to try running away!" He suddenly yelled, looking up at me for the first time, anger purely written on his face."I...""What if you were raped?! What if he killed you? How could you be so reckless with your life?!" Why was he so angry? He wasn't any different from the rapist anyway."I was trying to get away from you!" I shot back. "If you are so caring about my life, you would let me return to Durnca. You made
I decided not to fight it anymore, I just had to accept my fate as it is. Albert was too good for me anyway, if I had married him, people would have mocked him for marrying a poor lady with hardly any education. Sure, I could read and write comfortably, but I had no class or status, I fit nowhere in his world. He also wouldn't have accepted pa anyway...And this man, he defended papa to the drunks and he did save me... Twice. He seems like a decent man and now he's explained himself, I understand how much in a haste he was. He needs my help after all and not as a slave but as a wife.He didn't look like he had any status and being with him would earn me a comfortable life, plus I could very well boast of his looks.I smiled and turned to him."My ma died of a fever too. What are your children like?" He didn't answer right away, he studied me first, then cleared his throat."The oldest is Alan, he is six and the brains behind all mischievous acts hi
Julien was silent throughout the ride just like before but this time, he appeared to be angry. About what? Did another governess run away? That could be it, else he shouldn't be so angry."What happened?" I asked, swallowing all my fears. If I am to be this man's wife, I need to be there for him at least; I need to take on the role."Nothing." He said flatly."But you seem angry. Did something happen while I slept? Or maybe some bad news concerning the children?" I pressed, somehow really wanting him to open up to me. He was quiet for a while."The governess sent me a letter, she will leave in the next two days, whether or not I've returned.""That can't be, no one can abandon little children like that without proper care.""Well she said she would and I don't doubt her." His body tensed up again and I decided to try comforting him instead, the man was worried about his children and the cruel governess will leave them all by themselves if we
True to Julien's words, we didn't have to walk so far to get into another town. I expected him to pay for a room in an inn, but he said something about having a friend who would shelter us.I was surprised when we stopped in front of a really big house. He has a wealthy friend? I followed closely behind him as we walked into the house, a servant approached us and took us to the living area."Wait here." Julien instructed me and walked away with the servant. I was given cake and hot chocolate, it was so yummy that I didn't mind how long Julien spent. I was nearly falling asleep when he returned with a lady on his arm.I was on my feet already; from her well made hair, her expensive gown to her leather shoes, I knew she was the lady of the house."Lady Penelope, this is my bride Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn, this is Lady Penelope, the viscountess." I didn't know if I should curtsey or kiss her cheek, I didn't know how I was supposed to behave in the presence of a v
"Why don't you dress up for your husband tonight? He looked all gloomy when you arrived, I'm sure seeing you in a pretty dress would cheer him up." Well, Julien hasn't been much happy since this morning. But how will seeing me in a pretty dress make him happy? He doesn't really care about me, I mean we are strangers."I don't think so, Lady Penelope. Julien...""Please call me Penny like everyone else and trust me, I know he will appreciate it. I do it for Greg all the time and he loves it.""I... Oh, well... Okay." She got excited immediately and left the room in quick strides. I was busy drying up my body when she returned with the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. What was that she said about not being able to buy a dress with gems? The dress she was holding was glittering as if it was sewn with silver stones. But I knew enough about clothes to know those weren't silver stones but sequence."What do you think? I had on a dress like this on my weddin
I ran out to the back of the house and crouched down in a corner, crying my eyes out. I couldn't tell what was more painful, being called a cheap whore or being called that by someone you were trying to cheer up. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Penny, wealthy people had no shame and I just made a fool out of myself.Now, no responsible man would make an honest woman out of me. Not after... What am I saying? I already belong to one, even though he now sees me as a harlot, my fate was entwined with his and there was no escape for me."Gwen? Are you back here?" I didn't reply to Penny, I just hugged myself, sitting quietly."Gwen? Oh, there you are." She was sitting next to me the next second. "Forgive me, Gwen, I didn't mean to cause a rift between you and Julien, I was really trying to help." I didn't know what to say to her, I was still upset but she sounded sincere."It's alright, you don't have to apologize.""But I do, I feel so awful
When I opened my eyes, Julien still held me in his arms and we were both on the bed. We were alone and it was really quiet. What happened to the party? I looked out the window, it was really dark. Was the party over yet."Are you awake?" Julien asked me, moving away from me for a bit to get a good view of my face."Yes. Is the party over?""It is. It has been over for hours, it's nearly dawn now. Are you well?" I looked up at him and smiled. He did care about me after all."I'm well. Thank you for coming in at that moment you did, I can't begin to imagine what would have happened to me if you didn't." He returned my smile and relaxed more on the bed, pulling me closer into his arms. I know we looked like a real couple and I actually liked the feeling, but I just couldn't understand Julien at all."Sometimes you're kind and gentle, other times you're harsh and arrogant. Have you always been a complicated person?""You speak so well, did you h
I was tormented by thoughts.It would have been easier if Julien left like that, but he just had to say those words to me, making me restless with tormenting thoughts. I had to wonder if I was doing the right thing by denying my love and refusing to be with Julien, I couldn't decide.I thought by the time Julien returned from his trip, I would be ready to get on with my life without worrying about my feelings; but now, I wondered if I should forget my worry and accept to be with him.Yes, he was Gwen's husband but now she's dead, I am in charge of the children as she wanted and now I'm really in love with Julien, also as she wanted.Did she somehow see the future? Did she know I would eventually fall in love with Julien and she gave me her permission beforehand? That sounded like something Gwen was capable of, she was always after my happiness. Why then was I still denying it and refusing to be with Julien? Maybe I needed some kind of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, or m
He looked surprised at me, unable to say a word."But I can't be because you are Gwen's husband.""Alexa...""I can't blame you or myself because it was bound to happen, Martha thought so too. The only way we can help the situation is to avoid each other and my feelings will naturally die.""Why is that the only way? Why can't we nurture it and let it bloom?" I stared at him, what was he saying? "I am no longer Gwen's husband, we all lost her but that doesn't mean we can't move on with our lives. It would be wrong if Gwen was still here, but she's not and to be honest, she did give us her blessing. So, why should we shy away from our emotions?" Was he talking about Gwen asking him to marry me? Has he really been thinking about that all these time? When he says 'ours', does he mean he feels the same way too? No, probably not."I can't... it's not right.""Alexa..." But I didn't listen, I left him there and went to my room.I spent the rest of the day thinking about Julien's words, Mart
Arthur avoided me for the rest of the day, he always looked away when I was close to him and he walked away before I could say a word.He barely even touched his dinner and insisted that Julien tuck them in for the night. It really made me sad and uneasy.I had to wait in Julien's study for him to tuck the children in. We still had to talk about Cecilia and I had to thank him for finding her.I sat on the soft couch in his study and waited, lost in my thoughts, wondering how I could get Arthur to talk to me again. I couldn't let them call me mother, I just couldn't. No matter how much I...The door opened and I straightened. Julien looked a little surprised to see me there."I thought you went to bed." He said as he came in, shutting the door behind him."I wanted to talk to you first." He nodded and came over to sit next to me on the couch."What about?""About Cecilia... Thank you for finding her, I didn't know you were searching for her at all...""I have, ever since you told me sh
"Did you see that?!" I nodded to Arthur's question, he was pointing at a spot where a hawk had swooped down to grab a prey which appeared to be a lizard."It was so fast!" He said, running to the spot and looking up as if he could still see the bird. I only smiled.Arthur seemed happier now, he could smile and play with his brothers again; he didn't cry in his sleep anymore. In fact, it's been two months since I've heard him mention his mother or cry for her.It's been seven months since Gwen's demise and I missed her so much, I was getting used to my everyday life with the children and Julien; our pretend family. I call it pretend because no matter how many functions I attended with them, being their stand-in mother, I was still Alexa and not Gwen. I could never fully be their mother, no matter how natural I was with them.Sometimes I would be lost in thought and wished Gwen could see her boys grow and it would bring tears to my eyes, but I would remind myself that no amount of cryin
It was morning and we had just said goodbye to Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey, now it was time to say goodbye to the dowager duchess, Frederick, Martha and their children.Arthur was upset, so he refused to say goodbye and stayed in bed. We couldn't force him, the child was hurt.Julien was carrying Eliott and the sleeping Eric was in my arms as we watched them get on the carriage, but then Martha suddenly came down and came to me."Can I speak to you briefly?""Of course." I followed her as she led me all the way to the library. "What is wrong?" I asked her when she finally stopped."I didn't want to say anything but I couldn't bring myself to leave without saying it.""Saying what?" She stared at me for a moment and I waited."Gwen loved you a lot, so much that I believe she loved you more than she loved the children.""That is not possible.""But it is. She always spoke so highly of you and when she got sick, she was always saying strange things that I couldn't understand.""Strange
"What will you do now?" I was sitting at the garden alone when Pa Benjamin joined me, sitting next to me. Gwen and the baby were buried two days ago, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in my heart; it still didn't feel real to me. I keep expecting her to jump out behind me and tell me it was all a joke.The funeral was a big ceremony and even Robert and his wife had to come with their children, as well as Gwen's acquaintances and the entire population of Arana... after all, their Duchess just died.Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey came immediately we sent a letter to them. Of course, Papa Benjamin was furious that we hid the truth from him and he missed Gwen's last moments, but he managed to calm down after a while.Julien didn't know how to go about explaining the situation to Arthur, so I went with him. As expected, he child was devastated and he reminded me so much of Cecilia. I wasn't going to let him feel alone, not ever. I assured him that he still had Julien and I would be wit
I sat there, crying my heart out, not even minding the stares and whispers of the people around me.I couldn't move.The little pieces of my heart that was still in place just got shattered by Cecilia. How could she leave me? And worse, how could she join the bandits? Those murderous band of thieves? The thought of that little girl, going around, hurting and stealing from people made my heart ache. She was just so young, not even nine years yet."Alexa!" I heard Papa Benjamin call but I didn't move, I didn't even look up."Alexa, what are you doing on the ground? Did you find Cecilia?""She left." Was all I said. He reached for me and pulled me up."First get up. We can still find her, she mustn't have gotten far.""Pa, she didn't just leave. She joined the bandits.""She what?" I looked at him then. His eyes were wide in shock and he looked tired. But of course he was, Christopher left abruptly, Cecilia couldn't stop crying and now she has disappeared with strangers. "Joined the ban
Cecilia couldn't stop crying.As soon as Christopher got on his horse and rode away, Papa Benjamin must have seen him leave and sensed something was wrong because he came running out of his house to find Cecilia in my arms, crying.Of course he had a few words to say about Christopher after I explained what had happened, but the truth was that there was nothing any of us could do. Cecilia wasn't his real daughter, I was barely even his wife; he had no real bond in Durnca and now he has left for his real home.Fate had a way of giving me the worst all the time. I was barely above a toddler when my mother left me, my father just had to abandon me too and just when I was finally opening up my heart to love someone... he leaves me too.But I had to be strong, for the little girl that needed me.Yet, she wouldn't stop crying. Not even papa could distract her; she just hugged herself and cried even more.I sat by her bed, begging her to stop crying and eat something at least, but she wouldn
"That would be me." I turned sharply to Christopher."You? You are Gideon?" He came closer and took the letter from me."Yes.""I... I don't understand. You're Chris...""My real name is Gideon." I suddenly began laughing."You're jesting. You can't be Gideon and be Christopher at the same time." He didn't smile, his eyes were sad."I am Gideon Griffiths, from...""No..." I said, shaking my head."Alexa, you have to listen...""No...""I'm not really a Hallewell, Mr Hallewell only took me in and called me his son. I know where I'm from and I've always known I will go back one day, that is why I never wanted to get close to anyone.""No, it's not true." My heart ached and my throat felt on fire. This was much worse than an ex-lover coming back, he was part of a whole different world."Alexa, it's all thanks to you. If I hadn't met you, I probably wouldn't have finished my last test. Meeting you, changing the way I look, marrying you, that's what helped me pass and now I can go home.""