Chapter 10: The Party

I ran out to the back of the house and crouched down in a corner, crying my eyes out. I couldn't tell what was more painful, being called a cheap whore or being called that by someone you were trying to cheer up. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Penny, wealthy people had no shame and I just made a fool out of myself.

Now, no responsible man would make an honest woman out of me. Not after... What am I saying? I already belong to one, even though he now sees me as a harlot, my fate was entwined with his and there was no escape for me. 

"Gwen? Are you back here?" I didn't reply to Penny, I just hugged myself, sitting quietly.

"Gwen? Oh, there you are." She was sitting next to me the next second. "Forgive me, Gwen, I didn't mean to cause a rift between you and Julien, I was really trying to help." I didn't know what to say to her, I was still upset but she sounded sincere.

"It's alright, you don't have to apologize."

"But I do, I feel so awful for what I've done. Julien is in a worse mood and I ruined yours too."

"Penny, I'm sorry but I would like to be by myself now." Her face fell but she nodded, pulled me in her arms for one hug and left.

I sat there in the cold, feeling sorry for myself and shivering like a wet puppy in the rain. I knew I had to go inside but I was too annoyed to face Julien and I didn't want to be in the same room with him, but it would be rude to ask for another room, so I stayed there for another hour until I couldn't take it anymore. I made for the room, praying to God that Julien was either asleep or not there at all. 

I passed by the library and heard voices talking in whispers, I recognized Penny's; she may have been talking to her husband. I didn't want to disturb them, so I didn't stop to wish them goodnight, I just went to my room, happy to find that it was empty.

Julien may return and the last thing I wanted was to be in the same bed with him; so I grabbed the bed covers and went to sit on the window seat, gazing out at the sky. Eventually, I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of fast footsteps walking about. The first name that popped up in my head was Julien's and I sat up immediately, thinking he was in the room. I was alone but not on the window seat, I was on the bed and the covers were over me.

Did I sleepwalk to the bed? I couldn't remember leaving my position at the window. Then did someone carry me to the bed? Oh, I'm such a heavy sleeper, it was possible that an earthquake could destroy the house and I still wouldn't have awoken.

"Gwendolyn, are you awake yet dear?" I heard Penny's voice from the other side of the door, followed by a knock. It was already bright outside so I must have overslept; I wonder if she's upset about that.

"Gwendolyn dear?" Well, she wouldn't sound so sweet if she's upset.

"Urh, come in." I said, then on impulse I got off the bed and stood facing the door. She threw open the door, having the biggest smile on her face.

"Good morning!" She said cheerfully, coming over to kiss my cheeks like before.

"Good morning."

"The servants didn't disturb your sleep, did they? They have been running around, making arrangements for the party tonight."

"Oh." Was all I said. Penny gave me a skeptical look.

"They woke you up, didn't they? I told those awful people to go about their business quietly and not to..."

"No no, it's all right. I overslept too, I am usually awake before this hour."

"You need the rest. After your experience with the bandits and your awful long journey with Julien, you should rest more. I hate traveling, I haven't even been out of this town for years now and..." My mind wandered away from Penny's idle talk. Speaking of Julien, where is he? Not that I care about an ungrateful prick like him, yet...

"Where is Julien?" I asked her, interrupting something she was saying about her first time on a horse.

"He left early this morning but I have no idea to where. He did speak to Greg for a while before he left but those men are so secretive. I do feel bad for Julien though, he came here to sleep so late at night and he left before the first light." She paused to give me a teasing smile. "You made him sleep on the floor, didn't you? After his attitude yesterday, you must have punished him by having the bed all to yourself and making the poor man sleep on the cold floor." Poor man indeed. The fellow lavished sixty silver coins on drunks and gifted his horse to a stranger, he seems not to care about things that much. Well, except his children. But if he came to the room, then he must have carried me to the bed. That was... 

"What are you thinking about? You will come with me to the shops won't you? We have to get dresses for the party tonight."

"I'm sorry Penny, but I won't be attending." Her smile vanished.

"But why not?"

"I don't feel too well, so I will stay in bed tonight." Her eyes told me she didn't believe me but I couldn't care less, she got me into trouble with Julien and I was not about to anger him and risk getting insulted again.

"Alright, I will ask a servant to look after you. I will be so busy with the preparations, so I may not be able to check on you often. Will you be alright?" I nodded and gave her a small smile.

"I will be fine, thank you." She returned my smile and left.

The Lord may have wanted to punish me for lying and so He made me really ill. Sometime in the afternoon, while I sat at the window seat and watched the servants going about their duties, I suddenly felt my head get heavy and it pounded so hard, I had to lie down for a bit, but it continued and my temperature rose. It was a good thing I didn't dismiss the servant Penny sent to me and she got me cool water and a towel to wash my face and help reduce my burning head. 

It got worse and I didn't want distract Penny, so I didn't ask for a doctor. I had to endure until the party was over; even though the servant begged me to send for a doctor.

When her nagging got too much and it just increased my headache, I asked her to leave but not before making her promise not to say a word to Penny.

So, I suffered alone in the big room with Julien missing and an obviously fancy party going on downstairs. I could hear the music and people's chatter and it added to my suffering. 

I looked out the window, it was dark outside already and still no word from Julien. Or maybe he was downstairs with the others, partying while I just might pass out from the fever. 

I haven't been sick in a long time, not once since my ma died and now? I fell ill without any sign. Is it really my punishment for lying? 

I felt the room spinning and I knew I may pass out at any minute. Maybe I should send for a doctor after all, what if I die like ma did? I shouldn't be stubborn with my own life.

But who would I call? I had foolishly sent my only help away and I could never make it to the door. What do I do?

I tried with great effort to push myself off the bed, it was better I tried than to lie helplessly. I tried standing but fell flat on my face, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"Gwen?!" I looked up immediately as I heard Julien's voice, he was already running towards me on the floor.

"What happened to you?" He lifted me gently in his arms, bridal style and pressed his cheek to my forehead. "God, you're burning up!" I was happy to see him. For some strange reason, I was really really happy to see him, that I held his shirt tightly, buried my nose in it, smiling... and I passed out.