"Leave? B-bought me?" I was confused and scared and I just didn't know what to feel. And here I was thinking he rescued me, he just bought himself a slave.
"Yes, now get on." He looked irritated and angry.
"Wait a moment, I can't leave, this is my home. If only you'd give me a month, I will get you your money back. I can sew a hundred dresses and I can increase my prices so the..."
"Quiet!" He snapped and I shut my mouth. "I've had a long journey searching for a wife and now I've found you, I have to get back to my business. Now come on." His wife?! My face felt hot immediately. I would be his wife? Just like that? Wait a moment, I didn't know this man and... marriage?! Yes, he was a fine looking young man with an impressive height and beautiful blue eyes and long dark brown hair he binded, but he was a stranger and certainly not from Durnca; I couldn't leave my home like that.
Getting impatient, he made to grab me but I avoided his hand.
"Hold on, Sire, I am pledged to another; I can't be your wife." He stared at me for a moment as if he didn't believe me.
"I can send for my betrothed if you don't believe me." I tried to walk away but he grabbed me.
"I don't have time for your lies, Lady. I am certain you are not betrothed to anyone, else your father wouldn't so mindlessly give you away like that. Also, you have no betrothal necklace on." I cursed under my breath. If only I had accepted Albert's necklace, I wouldn't...
I shrugged away from his grasp.
"I am a free woman, I belong to no one." I said, throwing my chin up in defiance. He got more angry and drew his sword, pointing it at me.
"You belong to me and that should be the last thing I hear you say unless I say otherwise. Now, get on the damned horse!" I gulped my fear and let him give me a boost up the horse. He got on behind me and kicked the animal, leading us out of Durnca and away from my life.
It was a ghostride as I didn't say a word; he didn't say anything either, just kept the horse straight ahead as we went farther away from Durnca. He seemed to be thinking hard about something as his breathing was laboured and his body felt rigid against mine.
We remained that way until we got to a small town and we stopped at an inn. He interacted with the hostess and we were given a room on the first floor. Sharing a room with a stranger?Just how did I go from being a free independent woman to a...
"Go in." He said to me under his breath. He was holding the door open for me. I went into the room, it was wide with a big bed, a screen door and a bathtub; it must have cost a lot of coins to rent for a night.
"I've asked that water be sent up along with food, you should take a bath and eat." He was saying to me as I realized he wasn't entering the room. We won't be sharing the room after all?
"I have something urgent to attend to so I will be gone for a short while." Then he narrowed his eyes at me. "This town's people aren't as nice as your drunken friends, so don't try to do anything reckless like running away." I didn't say anything, just stared back at him. His eyes lingered on me for a moment, then he was gone, shutting the door behind him.
"I need to escape from this madness." I said to myself immediately, looking around the room. It had one big window but we were on the first floor of the Inn, jumping out the window may be a bad decision.
I went over to the window, opened it and looked down, it wasn't that far down and they were bushes below, they could break my fall and reduce the bruises. Yes, I'm going to run away.
"My lady?" I heard a girl's voice accompanied by a knock on the door. I had to act fast!
I climbed on the window, threw one leg out, then the next and I went falling into the bushes. Besides a few pricks from thorns, I was fine.
I looked up at the window, half expecting the stranger to be looking down at me with a glare; no one was there.
It was night so there were hardly anyone around. I didn't also have money with me, so how do I rent a horse that would take me back to Durnca?
First I needed to get away from that area just incase the stranger comes back; I wouldn't want him to find me. I walked alone in the night, hugging myself as the air grew chilly. A horse... I needed a horse. I came across a tavern with it's lights on and noise coming from the inside and I walked towards it. Going in, I saw it was full with men, drinking and making merry.
They all stopped what they were doing and the tavern grew quiet as they saw me; they were all giving me strange looks.
"Whatcha want missy?" A young mean looking girl who was in the middle of serving drinks before I walked in asked me, frowning deeply.
"I..." The whole room was still silent as they looked eager to hear what I would say.
"I need a horse back to Durnca. I don't have any money on my person but I will pay once I get to Durnca." I said into the silence and for a minute, no one said anything, then all of a sudden all the men began shouting, offering me their horses.
"Drunks." I said under my breath but I didn't even hear myself over all that noise. I turned around and left, not giving up on my search for a horse yet.
I had barely gone a distance from the tavern when I heard a horse approaching. Scared it might be the stranger, I dived behind a house and hid. The horse stopped and I heard someone jump down and footsteps approached me.
I held my hands together as my eyes were tightly closed, praying it wouldn't be the stranger and he wouldn't harm me with his sword.
"Say, you're going to Durnca?" I heard an unfamiliar voice and I opened my eyes, looking back at a man dressed in plain riding clothes and a straw hat, smiling at me. His mustache was rough and teeth were brown with too much alcohol.
"I travel to Durnca tonight, you can join me lady." I jumped out from my hiding place, joyful.
"Oh, yes please." The man gave me a small sinister laugh, but I didn't think much of it, I needed to go back home to pa and Hailey.
He helped me up his horse and he got on behind me, getting the animal to move.
I felt a bit safer as we left the little town, going deeper along the narrow part through the woods that led to Durnca. I knew it would take until the sun was up to get back to Durnca and I was already tired as I was not used to horse riding, yet I had to be alert and agile; I may have escaped one stranger but I was traveling with another and he looked even more scary than the fine gentleman.
"So, little lady, how are ya paying for my services?" The man asked and for some reason, he took one hand off the reins of the horse and placed it on my lap. I gently pushed it away, trying not to be rude.
"I have some money back home and I could spare a chicken. You will be paid well, so you don't have to worry." I said hastily, hoping he would not change his mind.
"Well..." He hand came onto my lap again. "I have an idea of how you can pay me without losing your money or your chicken." He snickered. "And you will enjoy yourself pretty well, I tell you." His hand started climbing up my body and as soon as he grabbed my breast, I screamed, kicking until I fell off the horse. The man came down behind me and held me tight, putting a hand over my mouth.
"Now, don't go attracting bandits. I told you you will like it, I always please my women." His free hand grabbed my breast again and even as I struggled, I couldn't get free from him. He licked my neck, leaving a long trail of saliva and he buried his tongue in my ear. Tears filled my eyes as I kept struggling to get away from him.
Is this it? Will I lose my maiden head to a dirty drunk in the middle of nowhere? I had rejected Albert for my papa's sake and even that same papa gambled and lost me to drunks who sold me to a total stranger and now I was going to be raped by an even worse stranger.
I couldn't let it happen; being the gentleman's wife was better than being a drunk's bitch. Even if it meant losing my happiness, I was better off married to the gentleman. But no man would have me for a wife if my maiden head was gone.
I put all my strength into wriggling and kicking to get away from the man and I successfully kicked him where it hurt. He released his grip on me for a second but that was enough for me to get free and run back in the direction of the town, screaming for help.
Unfortunately, I felt a pair of hands grab me and I fell on the ground with the man's weight on top of me. He turned me around and tore my dress, revealing my bodice as he grabbed the helm of my dress and was about to pull it up when I saw a glint of a sword at his neck.
"Step away." The voice was low and dangerous but it was familiar and how happy I was to hear it. It was the gentleman, wearing only his trousers and his hair glistened with water. In the moonlight, he was a magnificent sight to behold; his bare chest made my body ache in strange places and the muscles on his arms, they...
What was I thinking?! I was just nearly raped and I'm harbouring lewd thoughts about another man?
The rapist jerked away from me suddenly and ran away to his horse, jumping on the beast and speeding away into the night.
I was left alone with the gentleman.
The rapist jerked away from me suddenly and ran away to his horse, jumping on the beast and speeding away into the night.I was left alone with the gentleman.I got off the ground and did the best I could to shield my bodice away from the gentleman's eyes; I didn't have to try though, his attention was still on the spot the rapist had been. He was just so quiet and just so focused."Are you hurt?" I was almost startled when I heard him speak. Hurt? Was he worried about me?"I am alright. My dress is...""I told you not to try running away!" He suddenly yelled, looking up at me for the first time, anger purely written on his face."I...""What if you were raped?! What if he killed you? How could you be so reckless with your life?!" Why was he so angry? He wasn't any different from the rapist anyway."I was trying to get away from you!" I shot back. "If you are so caring about my life, you would let me return to Durnca. You made
I decided not to fight it anymore, I just had to accept my fate as it is. Albert was too good for me anyway, if I had married him, people would have mocked him for marrying a poor lady with hardly any education. Sure, I could read and write comfortably, but I had no class or status, I fit nowhere in his world. He also wouldn't have accepted pa anyway...And this man, he defended papa to the drunks and he did save me... Twice. He seems like a decent man and now he's explained himself, I understand how much in a haste he was. He needs my help after all and not as a slave but as a wife.He didn't look like he had any status and being with him would earn me a comfortable life, plus I could very well boast of his looks.I smiled and turned to him."My ma died of a fever too. What are your children like?" He didn't answer right away, he studied me first, then cleared his throat."The oldest is Alan, he is six and the brains behind all mischievous acts hi
Julien was silent throughout the ride just like before but this time, he appeared to be angry. About what? Did another governess run away? That could be it, else he shouldn't be so angry."What happened?" I asked, swallowing all my fears. If I am to be this man's wife, I need to be there for him at least; I need to take on the role."Nothing." He said flatly."But you seem angry. Did something happen while I slept? Or maybe some bad news concerning the children?" I pressed, somehow really wanting him to open up to me. He was quiet for a while."The governess sent me a letter, she will leave in the next two days, whether or not I've returned.""That can't be, no one can abandon little children like that without proper care.""Well she said she would and I don't doubt her." His body tensed up again and I decided to try comforting him instead, the man was worried about his children and the cruel governess will leave them all by themselves if we
True to Julien's words, we didn't have to walk so far to get into another town. I expected him to pay for a room in an inn, but he said something about having a friend who would shelter us.I was surprised when we stopped in front of a really big house. He has a wealthy friend? I followed closely behind him as we walked into the house, a servant approached us and took us to the living area."Wait here." Julien instructed me and walked away with the servant. I was given cake and hot chocolate, it was so yummy that I didn't mind how long Julien spent. I was nearly falling asleep when he returned with a lady on his arm.I was on my feet already; from her well made hair, her expensive gown to her leather shoes, I knew she was the lady of the house."Lady Penelope, this is my bride Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn, this is Lady Penelope, the viscountess." I didn't know if I should curtsey or kiss her cheek, I didn't know how I was supposed to behave in the presence of a v
"Why don't you dress up for your husband tonight? He looked all gloomy when you arrived, I'm sure seeing you in a pretty dress would cheer him up." Well, Julien hasn't been much happy since this morning. But how will seeing me in a pretty dress make him happy? He doesn't really care about me, I mean we are strangers."I don't think so, Lady Penelope. Julien...""Please call me Penny like everyone else and trust me, I know he will appreciate it. I do it for Greg all the time and he loves it.""I... Oh, well... Okay." She got excited immediately and left the room in quick strides. I was busy drying up my body when she returned with the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. What was that she said about not being able to buy a dress with gems? The dress she was holding was glittering as if it was sewn with silver stones. But I knew enough about clothes to know those weren't silver stones but sequence."What do you think? I had on a dress like this on my weddin
I ran out to the back of the house and crouched down in a corner, crying my eyes out. I couldn't tell what was more painful, being called a cheap whore or being called that by someone you were trying to cheer up. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Penny, wealthy people had no shame and I just made a fool out of myself.Now, no responsible man would make an honest woman out of me. Not after... What am I saying? I already belong to one, even though he now sees me as a harlot, my fate was entwined with his and there was no escape for me."Gwen? Are you back here?" I didn't reply to Penny, I just hugged myself, sitting quietly."Gwen? Oh, there you are." She was sitting next to me the next second. "Forgive me, Gwen, I didn't mean to cause a rift between you and Julien, I was really trying to help." I didn't know what to say to her, I was still upset but she sounded sincere."It's alright, you don't have to apologize.""But I do, I feel so awful
When I opened my eyes, Julien still held me in his arms and we were both on the bed. We were alone and it was really quiet. What happened to the party? I looked out the window, it was really dark. Was the party over yet."Are you awake?" Julien asked me, moving away from me for a bit to get a good view of my face."Yes. Is the party over?""It is. It has been over for hours, it's nearly dawn now. Are you well?" I looked up at him and smiled. He did care about me after all."I'm well. Thank you for coming in at that moment you did, I can't begin to imagine what would have happened to me if you didn't." He returned my smile and relaxed more on the bed, pulling me closer into his arms. I know we looked like a real couple and I actually liked the feeling, but I just couldn't understand Julien at all."Sometimes you're kind and gentle, other times you're harsh and arrogant. Have you always been a complicated person?""You speak so well, did you h
The insides of the house was a mess! Mud everywhere!! And there was not a child in sight. The furniture was buried under the laundry and every other thing was out of place."I knew this would happen, they obviously did this to scare you away." Julien said, a dark look on his face. "Boys!" He yelled into the silence, going into the rooms to look for the children. I was left standing in the dirty sitting room. Well, what did you expect when you leave little children all by themselves?"Mama?" I was startled to hear a tiny voice from behind a dirty armchair. A head was poking out but I couldn't tell what the child looked like as the child's face was covered in mud as if he was swimming in it."Hello, there. Come on out." I said to the pair of eyes staring at me."Mama?" The child said again. I wasn't sure if I should agree that I was the child's mother or not. I mean, I am now, only that I wasn't legally married to his father yet.I decided to accept
I was tormented by thoughts.It would have been easier if Julien left like that, but he just had to say those words to me, making me restless with tormenting thoughts. I had to wonder if I was doing the right thing by denying my love and refusing to be with Julien, I couldn't decide.I thought by the time Julien returned from his trip, I would be ready to get on with my life without worrying about my feelings; but now, I wondered if I should forget my worry and accept to be with him.Yes, he was Gwen's husband but now she's dead, I am in charge of the children as she wanted and now I'm really in love with Julien, also as she wanted.Did she somehow see the future? Did she know I would eventually fall in love with Julien and she gave me her permission beforehand? That sounded like something Gwen was capable of, she was always after my happiness. Why then was I still denying it and refusing to be with Julien? Maybe I needed some kind of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, or m
He looked surprised at me, unable to say a word."But I can't be because you are Gwen's husband.""Alexa...""I can't blame you or myself because it was bound to happen, Martha thought so too. The only way we can help the situation is to avoid each other and my feelings will naturally die.""Why is that the only way? Why can't we nurture it and let it bloom?" I stared at him, what was he saying? "I am no longer Gwen's husband, we all lost her but that doesn't mean we can't move on with our lives. It would be wrong if Gwen was still here, but she's not and to be honest, she did give us her blessing. So, why should we shy away from our emotions?" Was he talking about Gwen asking him to marry me? Has he really been thinking about that all these time? When he says 'ours', does he mean he feels the same way too? No, probably not."I can't... it's not right.""Alexa..." But I didn't listen, I left him there and went to my room.I spent the rest of the day thinking about Julien's words, Mart
Arthur avoided me for the rest of the day, he always looked away when I was close to him and he walked away before I could say a word.He barely even touched his dinner and insisted that Julien tuck them in for the night. It really made me sad and uneasy.I had to wait in Julien's study for him to tuck the children in. We still had to talk about Cecilia and I had to thank him for finding her.I sat on the soft couch in his study and waited, lost in my thoughts, wondering how I could get Arthur to talk to me again. I couldn't let them call me mother, I just couldn't. No matter how much I...The door opened and I straightened. Julien looked a little surprised to see me there."I thought you went to bed." He said as he came in, shutting the door behind him."I wanted to talk to you first." He nodded and came over to sit next to me on the couch."What about?""About Cecilia... Thank you for finding her, I didn't know you were searching for her at all...""I have, ever since you told me sh
"Did you see that?!" I nodded to Arthur's question, he was pointing at a spot where a hawk had swooped down to grab a prey which appeared to be a lizard."It was so fast!" He said, running to the spot and looking up as if he could still see the bird. I only smiled.Arthur seemed happier now, he could smile and play with his brothers again; he didn't cry in his sleep anymore. In fact, it's been two months since I've heard him mention his mother or cry for her.It's been seven months since Gwen's demise and I missed her so much, I was getting used to my everyday life with the children and Julien; our pretend family. I call it pretend because no matter how many functions I attended with them, being their stand-in mother, I was still Alexa and not Gwen. I could never fully be their mother, no matter how natural I was with them.Sometimes I would be lost in thought and wished Gwen could see her boys grow and it would bring tears to my eyes, but I would remind myself that no amount of cryin
It was morning and we had just said goodbye to Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey, now it was time to say goodbye to the dowager duchess, Frederick, Martha and their children.Arthur was upset, so he refused to say goodbye and stayed in bed. We couldn't force him, the child was hurt.Julien was carrying Eliott and the sleeping Eric was in my arms as we watched them get on the carriage, but then Martha suddenly came down and came to me."Can I speak to you briefly?""Of course." I followed her as she led me all the way to the library. "What is wrong?" I asked her when she finally stopped."I didn't want to say anything but I couldn't bring myself to leave without saying it.""Saying what?" She stared at me for a moment and I waited."Gwen loved you a lot, so much that I believe she loved you more than she loved the children.""That is not possible.""But it is. She always spoke so highly of you and when she got sick, she was always saying strange things that I couldn't understand.""Strange
"What will you do now?" I was sitting at the garden alone when Pa Benjamin joined me, sitting next to me. Gwen and the baby were buried two days ago, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in my heart; it still didn't feel real to me. I keep expecting her to jump out behind me and tell me it was all a joke.The funeral was a big ceremony and even Robert and his wife had to come with their children, as well as Gwen's acquaintances and the entire population of Arana... after all, their Duchess just died.Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey came immediately we sent a letter to them. Of course, Papa Benjamin was furious that we hid the truth from him and he missed Gwen's last moments, but he managed to calm down after a while.Julien didn't know how to go about explaining the situation to Arthur, so I went with him. As expected, he child was devastated and he reminded me so much of Cecilia. I wasn't going to let him feel alone, not ever. I assured him that he still had Julien and I would be wit
I sat there, crying my heart out, not even minding the stares and whispers of the people around me.I couldn't move.The little pieces of my heart that was still in place just got shattered by Cecilia. How could she leave me? And worse, how could she join the bandits? Those murderous band of thieves? The thought of that little girl, going around, hurting and stealing from people made my heart ache. She was just so young, not even nine years yet."Alexa!" I heard Papa Benjamin call but I didn't move, I didn't even look up."Alexa, what are you doing on the ground? Did you find Cecilia?""She left." Was all I said. He reached for me and pulled me up."First get up. We can still find her, she mustn't have gotten far.""Pa, she didn't just leave. She joined the bandits.""She what?" I looked at him then. His eyes were wide in shock and he looked tired. But of course he was, Christopher left abruptly, Cecilia couldn't stop crying and now she has disappeared with strangers. "Joined the ban
Cecilia couldn't stop crying.As soon as Christopher got on his horse and rode away, Papa Benjamin must have seen him leave and sensed something was wrong because he came running out of his house to find Cecilia in my arms, crying.Of course he had a few words to say about Christopher after I explained what had happened, but the truth was that there was nothing any of us could do. Cecilia wasn't his real daughter, I was barely even his wife; he had no real bond in Durnca and now he has left for his real home.Fate had a way of giving me the worst all the time. I was barely above a toddler when my mother left me, my father just had to abandon me too and just when I was finally opening up my heart to love someone... he leaves me too.But I had to be strong, for the little girl that needed me.Yet, she wouldn't stop crying. Not even papa could distract her; she just hugged herself and cried even more.I sat by her bed, begging her to stop crying and eat something at least, but she wouldn
"That would be me." I turned sharply to Christopher."You? You are Gideon?" He came closer and took the letter from me."Yes.""I... I don't understand. You're Chris...""My real name is Gideon." I suddenly began laughing."You're jesting. You can't be Gideon and be Christopher at the same time." He didn't smile, his eyes were sad."I am Gideon Griffiths, from...""No..." I said, shaking my head."Alexa, you have to listen...""No...""I'm not really a Hallewell, Mr Hallewell only took me in and called me his son. I know where I'm from and I've always known I will go back one day, that is why I never wanted to get close to anyone.""No, it's not true." My heart ached and my throat felt on fire. This was much worse than an ex-lover coming back, he was part of a whole different world."Alexa, it's all thanks to you. If I hadn't met you, I probably wouldn't have finished my last test. Meeting you, changing the way I look, marrying you, that's what helped me pass and now I can go home.""