"Would you please hurry up, Gwen?" I made the final stroke of the brush through my hair, then I quickly bonded it with a blue ribbon, letting its long end to fall over my shoulder. Looking up myself in the cracked mirror and proud of my work, I hurried out to Hailey.
"Oh, there you..." She paused, looking me up. I had spent two hard day's making that dress and even if the occasion wasn't that grand, I wanted to look good for once. I was wearing a hand made blue cotton dress with its neck cut so low, my cleavage was slightly exposed. It's a good thing Durnca wasn't so cold until early January, so I didn't need to hide my beautiful dress under a coat.
With my black curly hair hanging over my shoulder and my big green eyes, I knew I was a sight to behold.
"Oh my!" Hailey exclaimed and I smiled with pride. She wore a brown dress the colour of her hair and eyes and it was sewn to hug her figure perfectly.
"Oh my!" She said again. I did a twirl, so she'd see all of me.
"Do you like it?"
"Like it? It's... it's gorgeous. You, my friend are gorgeous."
"Thank you, Hailey." She smiled for a moment, then frowned.
"But I don't fancy your dress right now, I fancy being where the rest of the town is. Come on now, we're late." She grabbed my hand and linked her arm with mine. We shared a giggle before starting our journey to the town square.
The Earl and his wife just had a baby and they were throwing a party for the entire town, I even heard there would be fireworks. There is a more elegant party at the Earl's mansion but people like us are not invited. Hailey could be as her father was a merchant and he did business with the Earl, but for this occasion, her family wasn't invited and she's stuck with me, the peasant's daughter.
"We're so late, Gwen. At this rate we won't be able to see the fireworks." I laughed politely at Hailey.
"The fireworks will be in the sky, Hailey, even people in their homes would see it."
"People in their homes? Who would miss this chance to eat free food?" The pretentious terror on her face got me laughing again and I nudged her.
"Not everyone in town loves free food. You for one just like the idea of eating a meal not prepared by you." She giggled.
"That's true, ma has not been much help in the kitchen. She has dumped it all on me and you know how much my brothers eat and pa takes extra dried food for his journeys..." She trailed off and sighed. "I need to get myself a groom to save me from my family."
"That may be why she makes you do all the cooking, so your Prince charming loves your cooking." I put in and she suddenly burst out laughing.
"Did you say Prince charming? Gwen, my pa is a merchant, there's no Prince charming for me. The best I can get is a merchant like my pa or maybe a farmer."
"Well, at least you get a respectable man. I have no dowry so I would be lucky if any man takes interest in me." She nudged me. The town square was now in view and nearly half the town was there already.
"You have Albert, he's even better than a merchant, he's a knight! A man of title. And I'm very sure you made that dress to seduce him." I blushed and looked away from her. Albert was a knight and he did have an interest in me and yes, maybe I made the dress for him. In fact, he's asked me to marry him lots of times but he hates my pa and I fear that if I do accept to marry him, he would forbid me from caring for my pa and my poor old father would die alone.
"Don't be silly, Hailey. Albert left a month ago, he's rarely ever in town."
"Oh, but he likes you and he comes in town every now and then to see his pretty Gwen." I blushed again but quickly slapped my cheeks to snap out of it.
The music started just as we got to the town square and Hailey dragged me along to dance. We danced around for nearly an hour before the fireworks began. Hailey didn't let me watch, she dragged me to the banquet table.
"We are missing the fireworks. Didn't you want to watch?" She was too busy piling up her plate with drumsticks and pudding.
"Forget that and take some food before it all goes away, don't expect me to share." She was one funny person but I haven't eaten since last evening and I spent the whole of the day sewing this dress, I won't have energy to make dinner.
I grabbed a plate and took a few drumsticks and a little bit of a strange dish. We took our loot to the orange tree and sat under it, helping ourselves to the meal.
The fireworks stopped and people continued dancing while some others made for the banquet table.
Hailey and I sat side by side, watching our surroundings, our meal was finished.
"This is nice, isn't it? The peace and quiet. It's good the drunks aren't here to ruin it." I didn't say anything to that. She was right, the drunks always ruin the peace of the village and guess who leads them, none other than my very own pa.
I got up and went to get mugs from the bouquet table.
"Let's go get water from the well, I think a piece of bone got stuck somewhere in my throat." Hailey studied me.
"You don't have to be polite, Gwen. I know my words upset you but I didn't mean to." I gave her a hand and she got off the tree trunk.
"You are right, it is good they aren't here to ruin the fun. Now let's go get water." We linked hands and made our way to the nearby well. I drew some water from it and we drank greedily from the mugs.
"Hailey! You didn't miss me, huh?" We turned around to some boys from town. Sammy was the one who called out to Hailey, he was the only blonde boy amongst his friends; he likes Hailey but he's a rascal and only goes about looking for trouble. His friends on the other hand are worse than him and I dislike them. I find it hard to understand why Hailey likes Sammy so much anyway. The last time I asked her, she said:
"He's a charmer, I like how funny he is and the little kisses he plants on my neck." She just fails to see how much of a rascal he is.
"Sammy!" She shrieked and rushed over to hug him, holding tight to his arm. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
"Liar. Whenever you're with ice Queen here, you forget all about me. Come on, let's dance." He began dragging her back to where people were dancing.
"Hailey? Aren't we leaving?" I called out to her.
"Stay awhile." She shouted back at me and disappeared in the crowd.
"Or you could dance with any of us." I turned a glare to the boys I had already forgotten were still there.
"No, thank you." I said icily. They looked like they had more to say but they looked behind me and grumbled, walking away.
"What about me? I do want a dance." I was startled to hear a voice behind me and I turned around sharply. It was Albert, looking dashing in his uniform and a sword stick at his side, his hair grew a few inches more.
"Albert!" I breathed and hugged him like my life depended on it. "I didn't know you were back yet." I said as I let go. He straightened and leaned on the well.
"Well, I was invited for the function, I couldn't miss an opportunity to meet you again." Of course he was invited, he is a noble man.
"Oh, forgive my manners, my Lord." I said, giving a curtsey.
"My Lord? Gwen, I'm your Albert, forget about my title." He took my hand and brought me closer to him.
"But I can't, I am only a peasant's daughter. It's not proper that you associate with the likes of me."
"That is not true. Soon I will make you my wife and no one will object to that." I shook my head, moving away from him.
"I of course can. I have told you, my lord, I shan't accept your proposal with your attitude towards my pa. He may not be a noble fellow, but he is a good man."
"Indeed. And how many good men abandon their young daughters for pubs and gambles? He is not only an ignoble fellow but a fool as well." I pressed my eyes closed to control my anger. This is exactly why Albert and I aren't married yet, he just won't accept my pa.
"That is why, my lord, I have refused to marry you. Look for another maiden with jewels to her name and make her your wife. I have nothing but my pa and until you cherish him, I am not worthy of being your wife."
"Oh, rubbish!" He jumped to his feet and grabbed my arm, pulling me close.
"I will give him only a dime and he will approve of our marriage. Then I will give him bags of money for his worthless spendings and he won't be a bother to us. I will make you mine, Gwen, you will be my very own wife." He was holding my arm so tight, tears came to my eyes. I struggled to get free.
"Please let me go, you're hurting me." His grip lessened and he drew me into his arms.
"I am sorry. Your words anger me Gwen, you don't know how long I have wished to marry you."
"It is not so hard to get a 'yes', just show a little respect to my pa and I will marry you." He drew away from me.
"If that is what you want, I will try. I have something for you." He took out a small pouch from his coat and emptied it's content into his hand, it was a necklace with a silver stone in its middle, a betrothal necklace.
"I found it in a foreign market. It would suit my Gwen, I said to myself. Here, let me help you." I moved away from him. A foreign market? Did he think I didn't know what a betrothal necklace looked like? Sure, I don't socialize much and I am always indoors sewing or baking, but I had a social friend and she kept me updated on everything happening around me.
I straightened my gown.
"Thank you, my lord, but I would rather not receive gifts from you any sooner until we are married." He grumbled and put the necklace back.
"Alright, I will save it until you accept my proposal, but I must warn you Gwen, I won't wait forever; no longer than the next spring."
"That depends on how you treat my pa, my lord. I shall take my leave now, good night, my lord." I gave a bit of a curtsey and turned around, heading for the exit and not even minding to look for Hailey.
I had already gone a little distance when I heard Hailey call out to me."Gwen?" I stopped in my tracks and turned slowly to look at her, she was worried."I asked that you stay awhile.""I know but I can't stay any longer." She turned back in the direction of the town square, as if in thought."I saw Albert, did he upset you? If so, I will plant him a facer." I laughed, relaxing as all my anger left me."No, he still hates pa though.""Hold on, I will say my good bye to Sammy and come with you.""Of course not. I really don't want to be a bother and ruin your evening, my friend, I know you still want to stay more with Sammy. I am going to the pub to get my pa." She frowned and I knew why, things never ends well whenever I go there."You are just going to get harassed again. I would rather have you go home instead.""I understand, Hailey. But he is my papa and it's my duty to care for him, I will try to bring him home."
"Leave? B-bought me?" I was confused and scared and I just didn't know what to feel. And here I was thinking he rescued me, he just bought himself a slave."Yes, now get on." He looked irritated and angry."Wait a moment, I can't leave, this is my home. If only you'd give me a month, I will get you your money back. I can sew a hundred dresses and I can increase my prices so the...""Quiet!" He snapped and I shut my mouth. "I've had a long journey searching for a wife and now I've found you, I have to get back to my business. Now come on." His wife?! My face felt hot immediately. I would be his wife? Just like that? Wait a moment, I didn't know this man and... marriage?! Yes, he was a fine looking young man with an impressive height and beautiful blue eyes and long dark brown hair he binded, but he was a stranger and certainly not from Durnca; I couldn't leave my home like that.Getting impatient, he made to grab me but I avoided his hand."Hold on,
The rapist jerked away from me suddenly and ran away to his horse, jumping on the beast and speeding away into the night.I was left alone with the gentleman.I got off the ground and did the best I could to shield my bodice away from the gentleman's eyes; I didn't have to try though, his attention was still on the spot the rapist had been. He was just so quiet and just so focused."Are you hurt?" I was almost startled when I heard him speak. Hurt? Was he worried about me?"I am alright. My dress is...""I told you not to try running away!" He suddenly yelled, looking up at me for the first time, anger purely written on his face."I...""What if you were raped?! What if he killed you? How could you be so reckless with your life?!" Why was he so angry? He wasn't any different from the rapist anyway."I was trying to get away from you!" I shot back. "If you are so caring about my life, you would let me return to Durnca. You made
I decided not to fight it anymore, I just had to accept my fate as it is. Albert was too good for me anyway, if I had married him, people would have mocked him for marrying a poor lady with hardly any education. Sure, I could read and write comfortably, but I had no class or status, I fit nowhere in his world. He also wouldn't have accepted pa anyway...And this man, he defended papa to the drunks and he did save me... Twice. He seems like a decent man and now he's explained himself, I understand how much in a haste he was. He needs my help after all and not as a slave but as a wife.He didn't look like he had any status and being with him would earn me a comfortable life, plus I could very well boast of his looks.I smiled and turned to him."My ma died of a fever too. What are your children like?" He didn't answer right away, he studied me first, then cleared his throat."The oldest is Alan, he is six and the brains behind all mischievous acts hi
Julien was silent throughout the ride just like before but this time, he appeared to be angry. About what? Did another governess run away? That could be it, else he shouldn't be so angry."What happened?" I asked, swallowing all my fears. If I am to be this man's wife, I need to be there for him at least; I need to take on the role."Nothing." He said flatly."But you seem angry. Did something happen while I slept? Or maybe some bad news concerning the children?" I pressed, somehow really wanting him to open up to me. He was quiet for a while."The governess sent me a letter, she will leave in the next two days, whether or not I've returned.""That can't be, no one can abandon little children like that without proper care.""Well she said she would and I don't doubt her." His body tensed up again and I decided to try comforting him instead, the man was worried about his children and the cruel governess will leave them all by themselves if we
True to Julien's words, we didn't have to walk so far to get into another town. I expected him to pay for a room in an inn, but he said something about having a friend who would shelter us.I was surprised when we stopped in front of a really big house. He has a wealthy friend? I followed closely behind him as we walked into the house, a servant approached us and took us to the living area."Wait here." Julien instructed me and walked away with the servant. I was given cake and hot chocolate, it was so yummy that I didn't mind how long Julien spent. I was nearly falling asleep when he returned with a lady on his arm.I was on my feet already; from her well made hair, her expensive gown to her leather shoes, I knew she was the lady of the house."Lady Penelope, this is my bride Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn, this is Lady Penelope, the viscountess." I didn't know if I should curtsey or kiss her cheek, I didn't know how I was supposed to behave in the presence of a v
"Why don't you dress up for your husband tonight? He looked all gloomy when you arrived, I'm sure seeing you in a pretty dress would cheer him up." Well, Julien hasn't been much happy since this morning. But how will seeing me in a pretty dress make him happy? He doesn't really care about me, I mean we are strangers."I don't think so, Lady Penelope. Julien...""Please call me Penny like everyone else and trust me, I know he will appreciate it. I do it for Greg all the time and he loves it.""I... Oh, well... Okay." She got excited immediately and left the room in quick strides. I was busy drying up my body when she returned with the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. What was that she said about not being able to buy a dress with gems? The dress she was holding was glittering as if it was sewn with silver stones. But I knew enough about clothes to know those weren't silver stones but sequence."What do you think? I had on a dress like this on my weddin
I ran out to the back of the house and crouched down in a corner, crying my eyes out. I couldn't tell what was more painful, being called a cheap whore or being called that by someone you were trying to cheer up. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Penny, wealthy people had no shame and I just made a fool out of myself.Now, no responsible man would make an honest woman out of me. Not after... What am I saying? I already belong to one, even though he now sees me as a harlot, my fate was entwined with his and there was no escape for me."Gwen? Are you back here?" I didn't reply to Penny, I just hugged myself, sitting quietly."Gwen? Oh, there you are." She was sitting next to me the next second. "Forgive me, Gwen, I didn't mean to cause a rift between you and Julien, I was really trying to help." I didn't know what to say to her, I was still upset but she sounded sincere."It's alright, you don't have to apologize.""But I do, I feel so awful
I was tormented by thoughts.It would have been easier if Julien left like that, but he just had to say those words to me, making me restless with tormenting thoughts. I had to wonder if I was doing the right thing by denying my love and refusing to be with Julien, I couldn't decide.I thought by the time Julien returned from his trip, I would be ready to get on with my life without worrying about my feelings; but now, I wondered if I should forget my worry and accept to be with him.Yes, he was Gwen's husband but now she's dead, I am in charge of the children as she wanted and now I'm really in love with Julien, also as she wanted.Did she somehow see the future? Did she know I would eventually fall in love with Julien and she gave me her permission beforehand? That sounded like something Gwen was capable of, she was always after my happiness. Why then was I still denying it and refusing to be with Julien? Maybe I needed some kind of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, or m
He looked surprised at me, unable to say a word."But I can't be because you are Gwen's husband.""Alexa...""I can't blame you or myself because it was bound to happen, Martha thought so too. The only way we can help the situation is to avoid each other and my feelings will naturally die.""Why is that the only way? Why can't we nurture it and let it bloom?" I stared at him, what was he saying? "I am no longer Gwen's husband, we all lost her but that doesn't mean we can't move on with our lives. It would be wrong if Gwen was still here, but she's not and to be honest, she did give us her blessing. So, why should we shy away from our emotions?" Was he talking about Gwen asking him to marry me? Has he really been thinking about that all these time? When he says 'ours', does he mean he feels the same way too? No, probably not."I can't... it's not right.""Alexa..." But I didn't listen, I left him there and went to my room.I spent the rest of the day thinking about Julien's words, Mart
Arthur avoided me for the rest of the day, he always looked away when I was close to him and he walked away before I could say a word.He barely even touched his dinner and insisted that Julien tuck them in for the night. It really made me sad and uneasy.I had to wait in Julien's study for him to tuck the children in. We still had to talk about Cecilia and I had to thank him for finding her.I sat on the soft couch in his study and waited, lost in my thoughts, wondering how I could get Arthur to talk to me again. I couldn't let them call me mother, I just couldn't. No matter how much I...The door opened and I straightened. Julien looked a little surprised to see me there."I thought you went to bed." He said as he came in, shutting the door behind him."I wanted to talk to you first." He nodded and came over to sit next to me on the couch."What about?""About Cecilia... Thank you for finding her, I didn't know you were searching for her at all...""I have, ever since you told me sh
"Did you see that?!" I nodded to Arthur's question, he was pointing at a spot where a hawk had swooped down to grab a prey which appeared to be a lizard."It was so fast!" He said, running to the spot and looking up as if he could still see the bird. I only smiled.Arthur seemed happier now, he could smile and play with his brothers again; he didn't cry in his sleep anymore. In fact, it's been two months since I've heard him mention his mother or cry for her.It's been seven months since Gwen's demise and I missed her so much, I was getting used to my everyday life with the children and Julien; our pretend family. I call it pretend because no matter how many functions I attended with them, being their stand-in mother, I was still Alexa and not Gwen. I could never fully be their mother, no matter how natural I was with them.Sometimes I would be lost in thought and wished Gwen could see her boys grow and it would bring tears to my eyes, but I would remind myself that no amount of cryin
It was morning and we had just said goodbye to Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey, now it was time to say goodbye to the dowager duchess, Frederick, Martha and their children.Arthur was upset, so he refused to say goodbye and stayed in bed. We couldn't force him, the child was hurt.Julien was carrying Eliott and the sleeping Eric was in my arms as we watched them get on the carriage, but then Martha suddenly came down and came to me."Can I speak to you briefly?""Of course." I followed her as she led me all the way to the library. "What is wrong?" I asked her when she finally stopped."I didn't want to say anything but I couldn't bring myself to leave without saying it.""Saying what?" She stared at me for a moment and I waited."Gwen loved you a lot, so much that I believe she loved you more than she loved the children.""That is not possible.""But it is. She always spoke so highly of you and when she got sick, she was always saying strange things that I couldn't understand.""Strange
"What will you do now?" I was sitting at the garden alone when Pa Benjamin joined me, sitting next to me. Gwen and the baby were buried two days ago, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in my heart; it still didn't feel real to me. I keep expecting her to jump out behind me and tell me it was all a joke.The funeral was a big ceremony and even Robert and his wife had to come with their children, as well as Gwen's acquaintances and the entire population of Arana... after all, their Duchess just died.Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey came immediately we sent a letter to them. Of course, Papa Benjamin was furious that we hid the truth from him and he missed Gwen's last moments, but he managed to calm down after a while.Julien didn't know how to go about explaining the situation to Arthur, so I went with him. As expected, he child was devastated and he reminded me so much of Cecilia. I wasn't going to let him feel alone, not ever. I assured him that he still had Julien and I would be wit
I sat there, crying my heart out, not even minding the stares and whispers of the people around me.I couldn't move.The little pieces of my heart that was still in place just got shattered by Cecilia. How could she leave me? And worse, how could she join the bandits? Those murderous band of thieves? The thought of that little girl, going around, hurting and stealing from people made my heart ache. She was just so young, not even nine years yet."Alexa!" I heard Papa Benjamin call but I didn't move, I didn't even look up."Alexa, what are you doing on the ground? Did you find Cecilia?""She left." Was all I said. He reached for me and pulled me up."First get up. We can still find her, she mustn't have gotten far.""Pa, she didn't just leave. She joined the bandits.""She what?" I looked at him then. His eyes were wide in shock and he looked tired. But of course he was, Christopher left abruptly, Cecilia couldn't stop crying and now she has disappeared with strangers. "Joined the ban
Cecilia couldn't stop crying.As soon as Christopher got on his horse and rode away, Papa Benjamin must have seen him leave and sensed something was wrong because he came running out of his house to find Cecilia in my arms, crying.Of course he had a few words to say about Christopher after I explained what had happened, but the truth was that there was nothing any of us could do. Cecilia wasn't his real daughter, I was barely even his wife; he had no real bond in Durnca and now he has left for his real home.Fate had a way of giving me the worst all the time. I was barely above a toddler when my mother left me, my father just had to abandon me too and just when I was finally opening up my heart to love someone... he leaves me too.But I had to be strong, for the little girl that needed me.Yet, she wouldn't stop crying. Not even papa could distract her; she just hugged herself and cried even more.I sat by her bed, begging her to stop crying and eat something at least, but she wouldn
"That would be me." I turned sharply to Christopher."You? You are Gideon?" He came closer and took the letter from me."Yes.""I... I don't understand. You're Chris...""My real name is Gideon." I suddenly began laughing."You're jesting. You can't be Gideon and be Christopher at the same time." He didn't smile, his eyes were sad."I am Gideon Griffiths, from...""No..." I said, shaking my head."Alexa, you have to listen...""No...""I'm not really a Hallewell, Mr Hallewell only took me in and called me his son. I know where I'm from and I've always known I will go back one day, that is why I never wanted to get close to anyone.""No, it's not true." My heart ached and my throat felt on fire. This was much worse than an ex-lover coming back, he was part of a whole different world."Alexa, it's all thanks to you. If I hadn't met you, I probably wouldn't have finished my last test. Meeting you, changing the way I look, marrying you, that's what helped me pass and now I can go home.""