Tosses And Turnes

CHAPTER 1

Butterflies in the stomach turn the mind and soul into the joyful space of the moon and the stars. Mhhh! Stars…

The beauty ,adornment and embellishment of the stars...

Stars are born as soon as the sun goes to be breastfed by its very own mother everytime it sets down, and I can say that's what elucidates broad daylight and the night.

Commencing something beautiful is a natural,cosmical feeling, it's a beautiful feeling that no one can pass the question easily, writers and poets still can't pass that expressional answer, it's a mystery!

Especially when it has took one a decade or more to find that something beautiful.

Well...May you excuse me for that, I go by the name of Mia Wood, I'm 22 years of age and I walk my journey with my best friend Chantelle Johnson till I find what I had been yearning for with my CEO, so this is the road I paved and walked on before I came across him.

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I sometimes feel like I'm totally lost, and at  times I feel as if I have conquered the world, like I've grabbed its clock and got to be in total curb of turning the second hand, the minute hand and of course the hour hand of what I want to supervene in my life. 

When someone you are in love with breaks up with you, it sets up a perfect storm of emotional pain and anxiety.

What’s interesting is that even when we aren’t completely head over heels “in love,” with someone, if they break up with us, we often still experience our feelings turning on a dime.

I’ve had close friends tell me that they didn’t feel much for their partners and that they were thinking about breaking up with that person.

But then, that person breaks up with them instead and they become obsessed and heart broken, inoculated that their life is over without this person who they were actually considering breaking up with themselves only a few days ago.

At times the laughter is not in my control and other times the tears can’t be held in my eyes, I don't care whether I'm in public or what, I I wanna pour the salty waters, I do! You ever feel like that?

When I am sad I wanna know how to overcome it but when my lips are busy laughing and screaming in happiness, then I don’t find any problem with me.

It takes a while to comprehend what you feeling and it shouldn't be a dash or a matter of insurity...

I'm not In a state of raising my hand to assure If that word is certified in the matters of Cambridge nor Oxford Dic's...if it isn't then my apologies cause it surely makes some fucking sense to me! 

Hahahahaha! 

I'm not learnered to the level of what and where I want to be. No! Hell no! I'm just an ordinary girl born in the heart of the country, breastfed and raised by the city. 

'Wow! I'll be 23 soon, times flies hey' I talked to myself as I walked to the station going to work.

It's a good job, but a salary has to be able to put food in the table, and be able to spoil yourself the way you want, I'm getting enough money for my job, but I have colossal dreams, dreams that don't even fit my life from being in the country. 

Yes! It's true,  all my life, I've dreamt of Europe, I would see myself living my best life in America whenever I watched movies, and I knew from there till now that 'you know what?

I don't belong in Africa! That's been my mentality since day one! And I knew I'm not nuts! It's knowing what you want and not settling for less.

Shit! By the way I have only E50.00! between me and poverty, dammit! As beautiful as I am!

No man this is not right, I better go to school man, but how will I manage? Anyways let me stop stressing too much and go make sales for my boss like I've never ever done before!

It's a beautiful morning, beautiful day, for it's the beginning of my favorite season, Spring. It is the season of fragrance, beauty, fresh leaves, and flowers. 

The season is neither too cold nor too hot but is pleasant and breezy. The environment is lush green with bright leaves, beautiful flowers, buzzing bees, and colorful butterflies,with fresh air and sunshine.

This season creates happiness, motivation, and positivity among all people and paves the way for creative thinking. Spring is the King of all seasons that brings comforting beautiful lifestyle.

Dogmatical mentality changes your life in impossible ways, like it really works out, I'm sure you can all say 'Amen' to that. 

In general,  I've always been a depressed soul, yes I've always been quiet but even so, being quiet and being depressed are two separate things, extroverts wouldn't understand this I'm sure, how such can be possible, and hey there extroverts! 

Sometimes we don't wanna talk at all, and that doesn't mean a rock has fallen on our plates no! We just don't want to talk at all!!

You know business can be so lousy at times that a stranger walking by would be surprised of that when you alert them about it because of the crowd that gets to be there in malls, that's where I was working actually. So that calmness straightly led me to my depression again and I couldn't stop it.

'Shit! It's almost a year now and I'm still single! Why the fuck is that? My friends are even getting married and here I am, still alone, what's pretty funny is that I'm beautiful, more than them but I don't have anyone!

Is it because I'm picky and they aren't? Ayy' but I'm never ever forcing myself to a black guy, like I never feel any connection unless they are light skinned, I'll rather be single than kissing someone I don't like,nah'! 

I spoke in my thoughts as I watched people passing by my shop ,up until my eyes got brightened by this one and only guy who passed by me going to one of the shops after mine.

I quickly stood up from my seat, went by the door to check him out and dammit! Guess what? He was my type, and he headed to Woolworths.

"Fuck"!

I exclaimed mistakenly that one guy who was passing by laughed and went on. I waited there, praying silently that he comes back, but even if he does, what am I going to say?

What If he's unapproachable? No man! I can't...okay Maybe let me wear this cologne one more time, Delices de Carter, its amazing ,French.

I hope my boss doesn't smell it on me otherwise I'll be dead meat today, he'll drag me by my ears and make a scene of me in the whole mall. I laughed at myself as I thought of that.