THE HANDSOME MEDICAL DOCTOR: CHAPTER TWO

Mike smiled as he took in on the appearance of his office yet again. The office was painted grey, and it had only one floor-to-ceiling window, which faced the main road. On the grey desk sat a desktop computer, a notebook lying open, and a stack of papers sitting under a turtle-shaped paperweight. 

In a corner, the air conditioner was blasting at medium, and there was a swivel chair in the middle of the office. A bookshelf, bursting with books was in a corner, with yet another stack of papers under a paperweight that was shaped to look like a tuft of grass. A few pens were lying on the papers, but some had fallen onto the top of the bookshelf. 

Smiling to himself, he put on his spectacles and began to go through some files. 

His day seemed to be going well, having seen four patients that morning. Two had recognised him, one whom he had recognised as Brandon, one of his closest friends during his  while the other two only tried to seduce him, maybe because of the fact that he was good-looking. He had summoned the next person who he had learned was Mrs Brownwell and her daughter whom as stated in the file was not well.

There was a quick knock on the door.

"Come in" he said as he ushered in whoever was behind the door which he knew was the next patient.

He looked up and his smile, which he always used to welcome his patients disappeared.

Standing in front of him was the woman whom he had played. The woman whom he hadn't cared about but pretended he cared. 

The woman he had taken her innocence from without protection and in a drunken state. The woman that had made him feel so guilty all these years.

The woman that had made him so scared of touching any other woman just because of what he had done to her. She was one of the reasons why he had wanted to come back. He wanted to make up for all he had done to her by apologising.

Now she was the one standing right there, in front of him with a beautiful child in her arms.

"Susanna?" He called as he got up, trying to hide the surprise of seeing her so soon.

"Mike?" She had said in a whisper, her eyes not leaving his.

"It has been such a long time Susanna"

"A long time i guess" she said as she kept staring at him in unbelief.

"How have you been?" He asked as he tried to let out a smile.

"There is a mistake. I am scheduled to see Doctor Ben and not you so i rather be on my way" She said as she walked towards the door.

"I am a Doctor Susanna and so you are scheduled to see me. Doctor Ben is very busy with patients and so you will have to wait before you could see him so i advice you save your time" He said, stopping Susanna from leaving. Turning, she walked into the room in front of his desk and stood, still staring at him

"Is that your daughter?" He asked as his eyes widened.

"Yes"

"Can i hold her?"

"No" She snapped as she tightened her hold on her daughter whom she was carrying on her hips.

"Why? I just want to see her and besides, it says on the files that she is unwell. I will have to examine her to know what the ailment is" He said as he stared at her in confusion.

Reluctantly, she made Hannah stand on the floor, pushing her softly so she could meet him.

"Aren't you the cutest little thing" He said as he lifted the little girl from the ground and carried her in his arms. He sits down afterwards, putting the little girl on his lap.

He kissed her forehead and removed her hair from her face so she could see the little girl's face better.

"Will you just stare at me as if i am a ghost or sit down and state the reasons why you are here. I am not a ghost Susanna. Please have a seat"

"Take a seat Susanna" He said as Susanna reluctantly sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk turning her head away, trying to control the anger that had surfaced and the pain she felt.

"I must say Susanna, you have a very beautiful girl. What is your name baby girl?"

"Hannah" The little girl whispered as she took in on the appearance of the man who carried her closely.

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I hear you have a fever. If you let me check you i will try to make you better. Is that ok with you dear?" He asked the Hannah who still looked at him in awe.

"Yes" she agreed innocently.

Mike took the stethoscope on his neck and with it, used it to check her heart beat. Afterwards, he took a thermometer and sweetly asked her to open her mouth which she did.

"Good girl" He had said.

Having read her temperature, he touched her neck with the back of his palm to be sure.

"Eiiish! You really have a fever. I think these drugs will be good for her. Get them from the Pharmacy just located along the hallway and give it to her daily" He said as he wrote something on a paper and gave it to Susanna who took the paper without a word.

"Promise me you will be fine by tomorrow" Mike said as he cuppled the little girls cheeks.

"Promise" She whispered as she smiled at him, still taking in on his face.

Mike kissed her on the forehead again and dropped her on the floor, leaving her to walk to her mother who got up and carried her on her waist.

His eyes met hers as he realised that she seemed to be fighting something off inside her, pain and hurt quite evident in her eyes. Tears escape her eyes, running away upon her cheeks, leaving her body as if they cannot bear to witness yet another day with pain. 

Threats of emotional hurt were clearly spoken in her eyes as if she were ordering food from a takeaway menu. Hurtful things Mike cannot seem to understand. It is a lingering pain, one you can only shake by gaining a greater perspective, by standing back and imaging yourself as someone who loves you. Something she herself felt only she could do.

"Susanna I'm sorry" He said as he looked at her pleadingly. Susanna met his gaze and this time, her tears were flowing uncontrollably, her tears clearly visible. Her eyes still portray that hurt and sadness, emotions he had never thought someone could feel.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she quickly used her hands to clean the tears from her eyes, trying to hide the pain.

"I came back just yesterday and i know i have been a bad jerk back then. I know what i had done to you and for that i am very sorry. I do not know why i feel you are very hurt but all i want you to know is that everything will be fine, especially if i am the one responsible for what you are going through right now. I have come back to my senses and i just want you to know that" He said as he sighed, his eyes still on her.

"These days the word sorry is so meaningless and overused. Saying sorry doesn't fix the heartbreak you have caused, the added fear and worry to someone, sorry is just a word. To say sorry to me would be like covering a bullet hole with a band-aid, breaking me again yet expecting everything to be fixed. 

"I do not care Mike. You just behave like a time machine, or better a ghost. You disappear when you are needed the most and now appear when life seems to go better for the loves you have ruined. My body lost its strength long ago. My mind shattered and the rest of me followed suit. Without the hatred i have for you i will be nothing, because it is because of this hatred i had moved on with my life. 

"There isn't any part of me that feels anything else. Without it I'd be nothing, feel nothing, so why eat? Why sleep? Why continue to breathe? But I have the hate, my only companion in the wilderness we call existence. It is the fuel that keeps my heart pumping and brain ticking over.

"Please go back to where you had come from and stay there. I just hate the sight of you. Seeing your face makes me remember everything that i have fought hard to forget and i hate you for that" She said as she held Hannah tighter, her eyes not leaving his.

"Susanna......."

"There is clearly no words to describe how much i hate you Mike Harrison, i hate you to the brim. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me and fuck the hell i don't mind saying it on your face.......I hate you"

His brain stutters at that moment and his eyes seem to take in more light than expected, every part of him goes on pause while his thoughts tried to catch up. There was a moment of untold silence as Mike tried to take all, his face washed blank with confusion, surprise and shock, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from her wide eyes.

Every muscle of his body just froze before a frown, with a tint of guilt crept onto his face, it soon stretched from one side of his face to the other.

After a wash of cold I step from the shadows, his body, mind and soul back to the present. Mike sighed as he looked at Susanna with confusion. Mere looking into her eyes, it seemed he had hurt her so much.

So deeply much.

He had given her a scar that will never heal. And it won't be very easy for her to forgive him.

She opened the door and left, not after looking at him, her eyes still housing that hurt and pain that he just wished to remove from them.

Throughout that day he thought about her. 

He thought about Susanna.