Chapter Two

"Ellie." My eyes started to water at nanginginig na din ang boses ko. "Hindi pwede. Hindi niya pwedeng makita ang anak ko!”

"Yan din ang unang pumasok sa utak ko nang makita ko ang hayop na iyon Cass... But we always knew this was a possibility, right? Ano na nga ba? Anong plano mo?

"I-" Ano nga bang magagawa ko? Ano bang gusto kong mangyari? All I know is our path can't cross right now. "I don't want to see him."

Punong-puno ng takot ang buong systema ko. Hindi ko na talaga alam. Tama na iyong ako ang nasaktan. Tama na iyong ako ang iniwan. I won't let the same thing happen to my son.

"Alam ko Cass. Wag kang mag-alala. You have my full support pero-" she rolled her eyes nang marinig ang phone niya na nagri-ring. She took a glimpse at the caller bago sinagot ito sa harap ko. "Yes?" walang ganang sagot nito. She sighed a soundless one and answered the phone again. "Yes, Sir?" Ellie corrected as she made faces while the other line was probably talking. Siguro ay si Troy ang kausap nito. "Okay. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Hinahanap ka na sa opisina?"

Iniripan niya lang ako habang inaayos ang damit niya. "Kahit kailan talaga ang gago niya. He is a great boss but I know how he can be an asshole... most of the time. Di na ako magtataka kung bakit sila naging kaibigan ni the one whose name I'll not mention para iwas malas. Bye, Cass. Di ko man alam kung paano, tutulungan kita." Ellie held my hand. “We’ll get through this.”

Nginitian ko siya because I don't even know how to help myself.

The telephone rang which brought me back to reality. "Ma'am, Rina left a message. She tried calling you but you're not answering daw po."

"Sige. Salamat." binaba ko ang telepono and looked for my phone sa bag. Doon ko napansing tumawag si Rina, iyong kasama namin sa bahay. Sa sobrang pag-iisip siguro kaya hindi ko narinig na tumutunog na pala.

I dialed Rina's number. "Hello?"

"Ah ma'am. Good morning po. Medyo... may problema po dito sa bahay."

"What? What is it?" I screamed. I massaged my temples as I tried to calm myself. "Is Jeremy fine?"

"Okay na po ngayon pero nagkasugat lang po ng maliit."

Walang magagawang mabuti kung masyado akong magpapanic but I hurriedly fixed my things. I am a working mom but I need to check on him right now. Babalik na lang ako mamaya and if I have to, I'll work overtime just so I see him. "Uuwi ako diyan."

Dali-dali kong kinuha ang bag at susi ng kotse ko. I drove as fast as I could and when I reached home, naka-abang agad si Rina sa harap ng bahay.

"Rina, please tell me what happened."

"Nasa park po kasi kami kanina. Umalis po ako sandali para bumili ng pagkain pagbalik ko po, may sugat na po si Jeremy sa noo niya." sagot nito habang naglakad kami papunta sa kwarto ng anak ko.

I was worried kaya mas mabilis akong naglakad. Medyo malaki kasi ang bahay at nasa taas pa ang kwarto niya. Tumigil ako sa kwartong may kulay dark blue na pinto. When I opened the door, I saw my four-year-old son lying on his bed with a pillow on his face.

"Mimi, is that you?" tanong nito habang nakatabon pa rin ang unan sa mukha niya.

"Yes." umupo ako sa kama sa tabi niya. "Now, baby, why don't you face me?"

"Don't want to," he hugged the pillow tighter and I sighed looking at how small his hands are.

I slowly removed the pillow. At first ay ayaw pa niyang ipakita ang mukha niya pero di rin niya naman ako kayang pigilian.

Kumunot ang noo ko and my hands automatically touched his face. May sugat nga ito sa mukha at medyo malaki pa.

"What happened, baby?" I asked him as I cupped his cheeks.

He stared at me with his eyes kaya naman napatitig na lang din ako sa kanya. He got my eyes and my curly hair pero namana naman niya sa ama ang labi at ang hugis ng mukha. 

"Ayaw pong sabihin ma'am eh." napailing na lang ako. Though I know he only wants to keep me away from worrying, as a mother ay mas mag-aalala ako kapag hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sa kanya.

Hinaplos ko ang buhok nito. "Jeremy, I promise I won't be mad. Just... Tell me."

"Mimi..." napangiti ako. Ewan ko ba kung ayaw niya lang akong tawaging mommy o hindi pa niya kayang bigkasin but every time he calls me Mimi, para bang napapangiti ako. "That big boy from the neighborhood keeps on telling me I am alone and that I will have no friends and... I don’t have Daddy. Di ko naman siya pinansin but he pushed me like that," my heart ached more habang sinasabi niya sa akin ang nangyari. He's not even crying but I know deep inside, he's hurt.

"Don't worry I will talk to them. It's Joseph right?" Siya lang kasi ang batang kapitbahay namin. Ewan ko ba sa batang iyon at parang nakakapagpasaya ata sa kanya ang pangbu-bully. He's just five pero kung manakit ay parang di bata. I don't meddle with others' parenting pero ibang usapan na pag pati anak ko ay nadamay.

Tumango naman siya at umiling din. "Yes. But don't talk to him, Mimi. I will just ignore him when I see him."

"But baby, what if he hurts you again?" I cannot let anybody hurt my baby. Kahit sino man sila.

He gave me his sweet smile. He really has this heart-warming smile and yet, he's too young to comfort me like that. "I will be okay Mimi."

"I know it's bad to fight but when he hurts you, defend yourself, okay?"

"Pero maliit lang ako, Mimi" he pouted again and looked down. Hinawakan ko ang baba niya and lifted his face up but he looked away. "And besides, he is right." mahinang bulong nito.

"About?" May hula na ako kung ano ang sasabihin niya but I want him to tell me what his problems are. What things are bugging his young and innocent mind.

"About me not having a dad." yumuko ulit ito but this time, I did not lift his face up. Ayaw ko rin kasing makita niya ang mata kong nagbabantang magluha. "I know I have a dad Mimi but I also know he doesn't want me. He left us for another woman."

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang mata ko. "That's not true, sweetie." I hugged him and I felt him hug me back.

"It's okay Mimi. Because if he doesn't want me, I don't want him either."

I silently cried while hugging my baby. Hindi ko napansin na wala na pala si Rina sa kwarto. Nang tingnan ko ang mukha niya ay napangiti ako ng makatulog na pala siya.

He always seeks for his dad before pero napagod na din ata. Isa lang din naman ang sinasagot ko sa kaniya kapag nagtatanong siya.

That he's gone.