A GLIMPSE OF ELLIE’S POINT OF VIEW"You’re not going to tell anyone about this. Lalong-lalo na si Jake."Agad na sabi ko nang makapasok na si Troy sa sasakyan. Tiningnan niya ako na para bang hindi makapaniwalang diretso akong nagsalita. Akala niya ba ay makikipag-kwentuhan pa ako sa kanya? O sasama for a drive?Wow ha. Bati na ba ulit kami?Besides, wala ako dito bilang sekretarya niya. Andito ako bilang bestfriend ni Cass.Napalingon ako sa direksyon niya na agad ko namang pinagsisihan dahil nakatingin din pala siya sa akin. His stare lingered on me for a few more seconds bago siya umiwas.Well, fuck, this is awkward lalo na at hindi maganda ang kalabasan ng huli naming pag-uusap.Hindi man lang siya nagsasalita kaya napasimangot na ako. Gusto ko na talagang lumabas! Naka-on naman ang aircon, ang lamig na nga pero bakit parang hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang sikip? Hindi nga ako naka-seatbelt pero nakakasakal."Troy, hindi mo naman sasabihin sa kanya diba?" Tanong ko ulit, this time,
CASSHindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos ngayong linggo. Thankfully, Mama volunteered na ipayal muna si Jeremy to let me have my rest. Sabi niya, I should go to a hotel or spend my day in a spa.Instead of doing that, I decided to spend my time in a small cafe malapit sa amin. I don’t want to travel far and I don’t want to do anything. Literal na gusto ko lang magkape.Some neighbors greet me with a smile. I returned my smile at them too. I feel proud that I’m able to do this. Because there was a time when I'm too affected by how people think. They didn't even hide their judging looks when they saw me. Hindi ko man naririnig pero alam ko anong binubulong nila.It was unfair for me, it was unfair for Jeremy...kasi, wala naman kaming ginawang mali. The only mistake I am guilty of was choosing Jake.I was so blinded by my own pain that I forgot about others' feelings. I was staring too much in the past that I totally forgot about the future. May panahon nga na halos itulak ko na ang mga nag
"Sweetie, can you please be a good boy and wake Tita Ellie up? Tell her that dinner's ready."Agad namang sumunod sa akin si Jeremy at lumapit kay Ellie na nakatulog sa sofa habang suot pa ang salamin nito pero nasa sahig na ang hawak na tablet. Hay, napaka-workaholic talaga. I love work too but I usually try not to bring it at home. For her case though, it's confusing. Work, life, love, she got it all mixed-up. I'll just be here and support her. Paminsan-minsan, nagpa-prangka na din.Dahil day-off ni Rina, kami lang ang nandito ngayon sa bahay. Okay lang naman dahil halos every weekend din naming nakakasama si Ellie. Buti na rin para hindi masyadong tahimik dito sa bahay. In fact, with Ellie around, it's always fun.We were seated at the table. Kanina pa nga naka-upo si Jeremy dahil takam na takam sa adobo. Nung naamoy niya kung anong niluluto ko, nag-tambay na dito sa kusina. Jeremy is always looking forward to Adobo Weekends. Such a cutie.“Adobo! Adobo! Adobo!” He cheered as I put
Hindi ako makahinga ng maayos dahil sa init. Halos maubos na ang order kong iced tea kahit hindi pa ako nangangalahati sa rice.“Alam mo tinanong ako ng lalake dun. Iyong may-ari ata ng resto.”I excitedly listened to her story and where it might be going. Hot issue for this hot day? I'm in. “Type ka niya? Oh. You should give him your socials.”“Ang bilis mag-conclude! Eh, buti sana, kung ganun.”“What did he ask you then?”“Kung mag-jowa ba daw tayo.”I couldn't help but choke on the ice tea I just drank. Pambihira. “Ano?”“Right? Kinilabutan din ako pero napagtanto kong bakit nga ba lagi tayong magkasama tuwing lunch? Wala ba tayong ibang kaibigan?”I couldn't help it. I laughed so hard that I started tearing up. “Wala nga naman kasi talaga tayong ibang kaibigan. Parang nung weekend lang, I was linked to this guy I don't know. Ngayon naman, sayo.”“On a scale of 1-Cass, how single are you?”I rolled my eyes. “What’s the problem with that? I love being single. You know that.”“Ikaw l
Sandaling hindi siya nakapagsalita. I had the exact same reaction when Jeremy told me about his gift.“Ha?” She asked. That was the first and only word that came out of her mouth after being dumbstrucked. I understand her completely. “I know. I asked him what does he want for his birthday party, ang sabi niya ‘I want Tito Troy to be present.’”“Teka lang, teka lang. Troy to be present or Troy to be the present?""For him to be present, but, what difference does it make? Parang gusto niya na din ata talagang si Troy ang regalo niya.” I sighed. When I first heard it, kahit na blangko na talaga ang isip ko, I pasted this huge smile on my face. “I told Troy to turn a blind eye, alangan naman hilahin ko siya ulit sa buhay namin. That would only mean being closer to… to him.”I didn’t want to say his name. Parang tuwing sinasabi ko ang pangalan niya ay mas lalong lumalaki ang tsansang magkita ulit kami. No. Not today.“Seryoso talaga? Hala, huwag naman. Gag-” she was about to say a bad wor
After the wedding… The day I found myself again…The sound of the waves was so calming. Ang presko pa ng hangin. Ang payapa ng paligid, but this silence… it makes me want to cry.Everybody thought it was so pathetic of me to go through with the plan. Sinong sira-ulong bride ba ang pupunta pa rin sa honeymoon kahit na iniwan siya ng groom. I was warned that it was a stupid idea. I was in the mood to do something stupid. This vacation was well-planned and already paid for. Kahit sa ako mag-stay, I’d be lonely. So, why not be lonely in a place where I don’t see everybody looking at me with pity.Awang-awa na nga ako sa sarili ko tapos kaawaan pa ako ng iba. I needed this break. I want an escape and the farther it would be, the better.There was a nice restaurant that was playing bossa nova music. Umupo ako sa may bar. I couldn’t have alcohol but at least, I get to enjoy everything else. Wala pa naman akong baby bump and I can’t see any changes with my body yet except for the increasing a
“Dito na kayo nakatira? Kasama ng anak mo?”After so many years, I can’t believe I’m talking to him again. It felt surreal, like meeting a friend I only saw in my dreams.He nodded and then took a sip of his coffee. I wasn’t planning on having a get-together with Ivan. Okay na ako sa simpleng hello and goodbye, but both Nate and Ellie were persistent that we both catch up. I could tell that they were rooting for us like what fanboys and fangirls do. Eh, hindi naman ganoon ang relasyon namin.“Yes, but nothing permanent set for now. I work as Nate’s manager. Habang dito siya sa Pilipinas naka-base, dito muna kami. We’ve always wanted to go back home. Now, we have a reason to. We've been here for, what? three months now?"“Really? Matagal ka naman na pala dito. You should have called me to catch up.”Noon, Liam was like my reflection. We shared the same heartache and we were both emotionally unavailable. Buti naman nagkita kami ngayon. Now that we are not the same person anymore. We ca
Hindi ko dapat sinabi iyon.I was consumed with guilt and for a careless second, my tongue slipped and spilled information about Jake. I felt immediate regret when I said what I said.Hindi ako handa pero hinintay ko ang reaksyon ng anak ko. Whatever question he might have, I was willing to answer it... but to my relief, today is not the day. Mukhang nakatulog na ang anak ko at hindi nga ata niya narinig ang sinabi ko kanina."I'm so sorry, baby." I kissed his forehead goodnight and left the room.Cassidy: I don't know what I was thinking Ellie o baka nga ay hindi ako nag-iisip. I almost told Jeremy about Jake. What's wrong with me? I thought I had my shit together.I sent Ellie a message pagkatapos kong mag-ayos. She went home... o baka kasama niya si Troy. I'm not really sure. Ellie was planning to spend the night here pero sumunod din naman minutes after Troy left.I was walking back and forth in the room at umupo lang sa kama nang mag-ring ang phone ko, and a notification popped w