JORDI ADKINS
When I woke up the next morning, I immediately felt the agonizing splitting headache caused by the hangover. I must’ve consumed too much alcohol last night and got neglectfully wasted that I don’t even remember how the fuck did I got home in the first place. I’m surprised that I even got home without my mom knowing that I went to a party last night.
Opening my eyes to a bright morning light was the worse. It made the headache even more painful than it already was and I had to feel all of it. It took me a long while before I could even adjust from such brightness. By the time my vision came to a clear, I immediately felt something warm behind me and apparently, there’s a hand wrapped around my body.
That’s incredibly odd, I don’t remember taking someone home at all. In fact, I don’t remember anything that happened right after I barfed.
When I turned my head around, I noticed a very familiar face with that extremely familiar ginger hair.
“HOLY SHIIIITT!!!!!” I screamed out in absolute panic.
The person lying in slumber right next to me was no other than my fucking nightmare, Xavier fucking Rockwell. What in actual fuck is he doing on my own bed?
I immediately jumped out of the bed prompting myself to get away from him as far as possible.
“Oh, shit! What the fuck!!!” My voice cracked up as I was engulfed in agitation.
“…” Xavier groaned seemingly feeling much rather cozy. He slowly opening his eyes only to find me watching him in panic mode. “Holy fuck!!!” He cursed out just as overwhelmed with shock that he fell off from the bed.
“W-what are you doing here? Why are you in my bed?” I inquired. I’m trying my best to recall everything but my headache’s just getting in the way.
“I-fuck!!! My head hurts. I don’t know.” Xavier stood up shaking his head in response. I really thought I was going to have a spontaneous heart attack when I saw his genital hanging freely in between his ripped legs. He was fucking naked.
“And why the fuck are you naked?” I inquired covering my eyes not even having the desire to stare at the person that I hate the most naked right in front of my eyes.
“What?” Xavier checked himself. “No effing way!”
I realized that I was just as naked as Xavier and I immediately know this was all fucked up. I don’t know what happened and I don’t even want to know about it.
“You’re naked too!” Xavier spat pointing right at me.
“Shut the fuck up and don’t you dare look at me, scumbag!” I scowled at him just as I covered my own thing with both hands.
I was just about to pull the blanket in order to cover my own nakedness when I noticed Xavier was having a hard on. Not that I intended to look at what’s hanging in between his legs but he was just standing there seemingly confident of his toned body.
“Are you seriously having a hard-on right now?” This is truly really insane.
“Fuck!” Xavier cursed out. He was snappy at covering his own organ using both of his hand. “I-I’m sorry about that.”
“Jordi, sweetie!” I heard my mom’s voice as she knocked on my door. Thankfully, it was locked because if it’s not, I’m basically dead at any moment. “What was that noise all about?” She asked as I signaled Xavier to shut up.
“Nothing mom, I just fell off the bed!” I screamed out quickly responding.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay, breakfasts’ already waiting for you downstairs.”
“Okay, mom. I’ll be down there in a minute.”
What are the chances that I’m going to wake up in the very same bed as the person that I wanted to kill in my dreams? It should be abso-fuckin’-lutely zero and yet things seemed to be different right now.
How the fuck did Xavier Rockwell ended up in my room when I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen him at that house party?
Out of all the guys that I wanted to wake up in bed unexpectedly with was most definitely Zacheus Riley and maybe Wendell Churchill too. Those are both of the guys that I’m having a hard crush on.
This is utterly unbelievable and I think I’m going to kill myself if something happened that I’m don’t even want to think about right now.
“Di-did we just uhm…” I looked over at Xavier who’s already slipping on some clothes. Even though I don’t want to think about it, us waking up huddled in a single bed with no single garment on was just forcefully making my brain think about it.
“I don’t fucking know…” Xavier groaned struggling to slip on his jeans.
“Fuck!!! Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!” I cussed consecutively. I just couldn’t believe this shit.
Unable to express my utter shock and frustration, I decided to slip on some clothes and cover myself. While putting on a shirt, I was unconsciously stealing glances over at Xavier and I could clearly see his muscles and they were definitely toned. I don’t know why I was swallowing hard but I knew I had to wake up from it.
By the time I was done, Xavier was also fully clothed and was more than ready to leave. I looked over at him and this was honestly the very first time ever since I’ve known this guy that he’s not actually hitting me or laughing at me or throwing something at me. Well, that’s most probably because his in my territory but still, I like the fact that he’s not bullying me.
“So, uhm…” Scratching his head, Xavier began. “W-we probably shouldn’t tell anyone about this.” He went on and I could feel a dosage of embarrassment gritting in his tone.
“About what?”
“T-this…”
“Why would I tell anyone that I possibly slept with a motherfucking scumbag.” I spat then I just realized this could probably my greatest weapon.
If something truly happened between both of us, then there’s absolutely nothing that I could do about it other than accept it and forget it. However, I was just thinking that I could still use this to blackmail Xavier just so he would finally stop bullying me. Sure, my name’s still on it but at least I’d be dragging his name down and embarrassing him just as much.
Imagine all of the possible whispering in the hallways and the cafeteria: Xavier Rockwell slept with another guy. Xavier is gay. Xavier, the star player of Brooklit high’s football team is gay.
That would be a fun headline and it would surely brighten up my day. I don’t actually mind him becoming a laughing stock for everybody at school. He’s always making fun of me and I do believe that this is finally his time to become the stupid one. It’s not the sweetest payback that I’m envisioning but still, a payback is a payback.
“Stop calling me scumbag, curly tops. I’m not a scumbag.” Xavier replied.
“Yes you are a…”
“Sweetie?” I heard my mom again.
“What is it, mom?”
“Who’s pair of shoe is this one left on the stairs? I don’t remember buying this specific pair of shoes for you. This isn’t even your size.” She asked and I immediately glared at Xavier. My mom recognizes and remembers everything that she’s buying for me and if she’s asking me about it, then that’s probably Xavier’s shoes.
“You fucking left your shoes?” I whispered at him gritting with such anger.
“I don’t know…” He shrugged in response.
“Did you brought home a friend?” My mom uttered and I could hear her excitement about the idea that I brought home a friend.
The truth is, I haven’t brought home any friends at all with the great exception of Nikki and Jane of course. The thing about it though, my mom doesn’t have a single idea that I’m gay and I actually introduced Jane as my girlfriend. I know it’s fucked up but Jane and Nikki were both in on it.
“I…” I let out a heavy sigh knowing that I can’t lie about this. I was just planning on letting Xavier jump out of the window but it seemed that’s not going to happen now.
“Sweetie?”
“Y-yes, mom. I’m with a friend.” I answered not really having much of an option. This was another nightmare that I’m not expecting at all.
“Okay, you two, come to the kitchen. Breakfast’s waiting.”
I just woke up naked in bed with the person that I hated the most in this planet and now I’m about to introduce that very same person to my mom. How lucky could I get? This shit is layered, what in the fucking hell?!
“Okay, Xavier.” I turned to face him even though by this time, I just want to lunge towards him and strangle his neck. “We’ll go downstairs but I want you to bring out your best behavior even though I know you’re a shitty person.”
“Okay, I’ll try to act cool.” Xavier grimaced.
“My mom would probably ask you a lot of questions. Just tell her we came here to do a project.” I ordered at him.
“W-what project is that?” Xavier asked.
“Just make up anything that I could ride along with.”
By the time Xavier and I inched our way towards the kitchen, I was already starting to grow weary of the situation that I’m thrown into. However, I have to put on a mask and act as if everything’s fine when it’s not fine at all.
“Hey, mom!” I began trembling on the inside.
“Hey, sweetie.”
“This is uhm… Xavier.” I said introducing Xavier to my mom even though I really don’t want to. “He’s a friend. He came over to help me with our school project.” I almost barfed saying the word friend and associating it with Xavier.
“Good morning, Mrs. Adkins.” Xavier waved over at my mom who’s busy washing up the pots.
I quickly pulled Xavier over towards the table. I had to let him sit right close to me just so I could kick his feet whenever he says something that I don’t like him to say.
“Good morning too, Xavier. How are you doing?” My mom began.
“I’m doing fine Mrs. Adkins.” Xavier replied and this was the very first time that I’m witnessing him act truly nice. So much for a change. Every time I see him at school, he’s either playing pranks on someone else or sleeping on his desk.
“Zinnia, just call me Zinnia.” My mom said and it’s just making me uncomfortable that my mom’s really trying to connect with Xavier. If she only knew that this guy’s been hitting her only son, she’d go berserk.
“Hey dude, you didn’t tell me your mom’s a hottie.” Xavier whispered on my ear which prompted me to kick him on the leg. “Aww!”
“You said you would act cool.” I whispered back at him.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“I’m surprised Jordi brought home another friend. He’s only brought his girlfriend and that other friend of hers here.” My mom went on.
“What? Jordi’s got a girlfriend?” Xavier asked acting surprised when I know he’s probably just trying to mess with me because he knows that I’m gay.
“Shh…” I gave him a hard glare but he just gave me a grin in response.
“Jane. Didn’t you know?” My mom turned her head around.
“Jane Kinsley?” Xavier asked and the look on his face appeared as if he wanted to rat me out.
“Hey mom, can we not talk about my girlfriend right now.” I pleaded knowing the fact that Jane’s not really my girlfriend and even Xavier knows that. He’s just trying his best not to burst into laughter.
“Why not? Are you two having some sort of a lover’s quarrel or something?” My mom teased and Xavier was already chuckling under his breath that I had to kick his feet under the table.
“Awww.” Xavier cried inaudibly. “Ahem. Jordi’s been quite a popular guy among ladies at school.” Xavier uttered jokingly and if I could just stab his eyeballs with a fork right, I’d probably do it without certain hesitations.
“Oh, is he?” My mom replied and I could sense her smiling widely from over the kitchen sink. “You know, Jordi’s dad used to be the hottest guy way back when we were still in high school too.” My mom volleyed and she’s just about to start a story time.
“Mom, this is embarrassing.” I know I have to stop her before she could even tell her corny love story. I’ve heard that so many times now, plus I don’t want her to tell the story to Xavier as if Xavier gives a single shit about it.
Thankfully, my mom decided not to embarrass me right in front of Xavier. However, it did not stop her from asking a bunch of several getting to know questions to Xavier. Xavier mostly gave the simplest answer and I’m glad that he’s actually acting cool just like how he said he would.
We began touching our breakfast and I was quick to notice how Xavier appeared as if he has not eaten for several days. He was ravenous enough and I guess with that body type that he has, he kind of needed to eat a lot.
By the time, we were finished eating, my mom had already gone to the shower.
“You really told your mom that Jane’s your girlfriend huh.” Xavier voiced out.
“She doesn’t know that I… Never mind.” I shook my head thinking why am I telling Xavier anything about me when he’s not even my friend to begin with.
“Still hiding from your parents, huh?”
“And why would you care about that? I know that your homophobic…” I was just about to rant on him but he just cut me off.
“I’m not homophobic. I just…” Xavier paused and the look on his face suddenly changed. “I must go now.”
I had to walk Xavier towards the front door.
“Hey, Xavier.” I called for his attention before he could even walk away. “Keep this thing between us.”
“I will…” He nodded and looked away and then he quickly looked back at me. “You’re a good kisser, by the way.” He spat before eventually walking away and leaving me utterly confused.
Xavier Rockwell“Hahaha, you really beat the shit out of that loser, man!” My friend Nixon began chuckling proudly as if what I did was the best thing in the whole world that I should be proud of it.We just stormed out of the school campus right after the janitress showed up and found us poking fun out of Jordi Adkins. We were now on our way towards our usual hang out spot under the bridge.“Nah, that’s nothing.” I shook my head knowing that pouring juice all over Jordi and punching him in the gut wasn’t even it. Hitting curly tops wasn’t even as satisfying for me to say the least. If the janitress hadn’t showed up, I’d probably kicked Jordi’s ass even more until he cries and calls his mama.“Hey, aren’t you being a little too harsh on him lately?” Darren asked basically stating what he’d just noticed. He seemed to be on a different page as me and Nixon. For all I know, he was the first one who grabbed Jordi and pushed him inside the janitor’s closet in first place.“Nah, just seeing
Xavier RockwellI was already having a good dream when it was suddenly interrupted by a strong punch in my stomach. It was utterly painful that I woke up almost immediately. I didn’t even have the chance to adjust from the pain and lack of oxygen when Hector lifted me up by the collar of my shirt.“Why the f*** are you sleeping boy? You getting lazy now, ha?” Hector looked furious with his teeth clenched on me.“P-put me down, uncle. I-I couldn’t b-breath.” I cried out almost losing my voice. I could feel my face turning red as his hands lifted me up in the air.“Do you fucking know what time is it?”“I-I...” I wanted to speak but I couldn’t breathe.“Oh yeah, do you want me to put you down, huh motherf******?” I could see it in his tattooed face that he’s not happy about me falling asleep. I didn’t know he was coming.I nodded unable to speak from the tightness of his grip. Hector was a bit shorter than me but he was definitely packed with some muscles and brute strength that it’s re
JORDI ADKINSOnce upon a time, there was a teenage gay boy named Jordi Adkins who made the biggest mistake of his life yet. He got drunk and wasted at a house party and woke up the next morning with that naked mistake.Well, shit, that teenage gay boy was me and that’s the shittiest thing that has ever happened to my shitty life. It took me the whole weekend to let the reality that I hooked up with Xavier Rockwell sink in. Getting wasted at that stupid house party was clearly a mistake on my part. However, I’m not going to put all of the blame on me. Xavier’s a total douchebag for letting it all happen and he’s clearly part responsible. One second he’s just making my life a freaking nightmare and the next thing I know; he just made his way inside my ass.“Jane, if I give you five bucks right now, would you dare to slap me?” Sitting right next to Jane, I just made this weird offer that made her cinch her eyebrows on me.“Are you okay, Jordi?” She turned her focus on me giving me that u
JORDI ADKINS“Are you going to hit me again?” I asked outright. I felt frightened and shocked at the very same time but I felt compelled to act tougher this time around.“Why would you think of that, curlytops?” He replied with another question and the weirdest thing I noticed was he doesn’t sound like the jerk that I used to know.Am I allowed to think that the world may be turning upside down? Because the look painted in Xavier’s face doesn’t look like he’s going to beat the shit out of me. In fact, he looked like he’s way too confused and I’m just as baffled as he was.“Don’t act brand new, Xavier.” I blurted out feeling a lot like filled with courage. Maybe having the whole week Xavier-free was the only thing that I needed in order to have this fleeting feeling of courage.“Jordi, I... I...” Xavier couldn’t even look at me in the eye for more than a few seconds. That’s obviously the oddest thing for the person who used to humiliate me.“What, Xavier? Are you the one who’s stutteri
XAVIER ROCKWELLI wish I found some better sounds no one's ever heardI wish I had a better voice that sang some better wordsI wish I found some chords in an order that is newI wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sangI was told when I get older, all my fears would shrinkBut now I'm insecure, and I care what people thinkI plugged in my earphones and while the music played loud as fuck, the beating inside my chest was even louder almost thunderous. I don’t really know what’s happening to me. I just saw Jordi Adkins pass by right in front of me and then boom, there goes my anxiety. Throughout the entire weekend, I haven’t really stopped thinking about what happened between the two of us. I wouldn’t consider being preoccupied as a blessing but I would admit that I somehow, in a weird way, forgot about the madness that’s been living in our tiny little apartment.My name's Blurryface and I care what you thinkMy name's Blurryface and I care what you thinkFrom a certain distance,
XAVIER ROCKWELLI would have never thought that approaching someone you know just for a simple conversation would be this much difficult especially for me. People know me for just approaching anybody and talking smug off to their faces. Also, I used to be dosed with such swag and confidence when I’m poking fun at Jordi but now, things aren’t going well for me. I’m like an elephant afraid of a freaking mouse.When I got to school early this morning, I saw Jordi sitting alone at the bench, most probably waiting for his friends to show up. Seems like I have that first chance to actually approach him but then I was quick to realize that there are a lot of people watching and I froze. I wouldn’t say I was intimidated but I know I just froze unexpectedly in the moment. Then I realized I wasn’t coping well with the aftermath of what happened.I used to enjoy getting on Jordi’s nerves and making him feel shittier and shittier every single day. It was kind of my vitamin. Him whining and beggin
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt wasn’t until I got far away that I started to feel exceedingly ashamed of what I just did. I just kissed Jordi Adkins and ran away like some coward who does not want to face any of the consequences of their own action. Talking to him was the whole intention and maybe kissing him too. Yes, I did get what I want when I kissed him but I felt like I never really got to have an open conversation about what happened. Though I managed to clear things up with him, that’s not enough for me. I know I wanted some more.I got scared and maybe I would call myself a coward for that. I just recalled the first time that Hector landed his fist on me and my mom, it was also the same day that he called me a worthless faggot. And I thought the world has already cast that derogatory word into oblivion. Apparently, not.I thought that day was only a one-time kind of thing, that he just got pissed about my mom, that he’s just tired from work, that he’s just acting up out of pure rage but
JORDI ADKINSThe weekend went in a flash; it seems like us students don’t deserve to rest on weekends just like every adult. My mom’s pitchy pissed off voice woke me up which just reminded me that Monday has finally arrived. Well, that’s not actually my mom, it was the alarm clock that my dad gave me during my fifteenth birthday. He got it from his business trip in France a few years ago and he was the one who uploaded mom’s pissed off voice on it. I don’t have any idea why he did it but apparently, it’s working. Also, I don’t know how he got mom’s voice—he obviously recorded it—but I don’t remember my mom shouting at me like that. It must’ve been one of those times where she was freaky mad at dad for overdrinking.I jumped out of my bed feeling much rather lazy and drained. I don’t know what’s wrong with Mondays and why it has this crazy effect on people, and apparently, everyone hates it too. Including me of course.I went straight to the bathroom and as I looked into the mirror, I