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9TH HEARTBEAT
Last Updated:
2023-02-05 07:42:40
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The Badboy's Heartbeat 10TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt wasn’t until I got far away that I started to feel exceedingly ashamed of what I just did. I just kissed Jordi Adkins and ran away like some coward who does not want to face any of the consequences of their own action. Talking to him was the whole intention and maybe kissing him too. Yes, I did get what I want when I kissed him but I felt like I never really got to have an open conversation about what happened. Though I managed to clear things up with him, that’s not enough for me. I know I wanted some more.I got scared and maybe I would call myself a coward for that. I just recalled the first time that Hector landed his fist on me and my mom, it was also the same day that he called me a worthless faggot. And I thought the world has already cast that derogatory word into oblivion. Apparently, not.I thought that day was only a one-time kind of thing, that he just got pissed about my mom, that he’s just tired from work, that he’s just acting up out of pure rage but
Last Updated : 2023-02-05The Badboy's Heartbeat 11TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe weekend went in a flash; it seems like us students don’t deserve to rest on weekends just like every adult. My mom’s pitchy pissed off voice woke me up which just reminded me that Monday has finally arrived. Well, that’s not actually my mom, it was the alarm clock that my dad gave me during my fifteenth birthday. He got it from his business trip in France a few years ago and he was the one who uploaded mom’s pissed off voice on it. I don’t have any idea why he did it but apparently, it’s working. Also, I don’t know how he got mom’s voice—he obviously recorded it—but I don’t remember my mom shouting at me like that. It must’ve been one of those times where she was freaky mad at dad for overdrinking.I jumped out of my bed feeling much rather lazy and drained. I don’t know what’s wrong with Mondays and why it has this crazy effect on people, and apparently, everyone hates it too. Including me of course.I went straight to the bathroom and as I looked into the mirror, I
Last Updated : 2023-02-06The Badboy's Heartbeat 12TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThis has got to be another fear that I have to add to my long list of phobias. I should’ve already added it to the list but I just had the utmost confidence that I will never be paired up with him in any way, however, the odds don’t seem to be backing me up right now.To be paired up with Xavier Rockwell for this stupid babysitting assignment was just a rock salt to my already bleeding wound. I would rather sell my soul to the devil than be partnered with him. I don’t want to be around him for the entire damn week because that’s not just a nightmare but it’s more like I’m going to burn at the bottom pits of hell.Avoiding him for the entire week was not because of the fact that he’s my bully but it’s because something has changed within him. I thought I already knew him as this shitty person who always take pleasure by picking on me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a shitty asshole but his utmost unpredictability was the one thing that’s frightening about him as of right n
Last Updated : 2023-02-07The Badboy's Heartbeat 13TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“No effin’ way!” Nikki exclaimed expressing her utter shock when I got to lunch with them. The first thing I did was to reveal to them that I’m paired up with Xavier Rockwell for our sex education assignment.“Ugh, can you fucking believe that I was paired up with him of all people?” I trailed off.“Did you at least asked Mrs. Harding for a switch?” Jane inquired. Her bag of flour was just sitting idly right beside her food as if it was an actual baby but really, it was just a bag of flour.I lazily stared at my own food. “I did and she wasn’t budging at all.”“Well, that’s unfortunate.” Nikki chimed in. “You are definitely going to be a punching bag, Jordi.” Nikki added and perhaps she’s forty percent right about that. I don’t think this new Xavier’s planning on poking fun at me which was hard to believe but that’s what I’m seeing right now. Forty percent’s still a huge number if we are going to talk about percentage rate and math shit but Xavier’s acting weirdly differe
Last Updated : 2023-02-10The Badboy's Heartbeat 14TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe pang of embarrassment finally took its toll on me and I ended up running away from the house party. This was the very first time that I declined a very consensual offer coming from a fuckable chick and I’m surprised about that. Nixon knew my type when it comes to a woman and I’m pretty sure that’s the reason why Nixon introduced me to her. Francine was really hot and wild. I would totally smash her down but I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me. When she pulled me upstairs, I was under the impression that I was into the moment. And then I just realized that I’m not even having a simple hard-on even when she’s already jiggling her bosoms in front of my face.When I finally got home that night, I found my mother and Hector having their very own intimate session inside the one bedroom that we all share. Luckily, the door was shut closed that I didn’t have to accidentally witness both of them touching each other. My mother’s a screamer and Hector really cuss a lot
Last Updated : 2023-02-11The Badboy's Heartbeat 15TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLStriking a conversation with Jordi alone was insanely difficult even when the odds essentially paired me up with him. Not only that I’m feeling a sense of tension every time I’m looking at him but I also feel like he’s itching to slit my throat or probably disembowel me or maybe push me off a cliff. I most probably deserve all of that.I sat with him right after we got our little bag of flour and everything seemed awkward between us. He doesn’t even want to talk to me, let alone smile at me that I had to take a few seconds to muster enough courage.“Ahem...” I don’t have any sort of phlegm or lump in my throat but I purposely cleared my throat loud enough just to gain the confidence that I needed in order to begin this conversation. I already knew I had his attention since he’s been looking at me dead in the eye for quite some time.“What?” He spat.I couldn’t even look at him straight in the eye for a hot minute. Maybe because I was afraid that I might just make thing
Last Updated : 2023-02-13The Badboy's Heartbeat 16TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThings happened way too fast that I wasn’t given the chance to react or even budge. Xavier pinned me against the locker and the next thing I know; he was already kissing me. Xavier’s wet tongue skillfully slithered all the way inside my mouth. In the depths of my head, I was critically thinking of resisting him yet my body doesn’t seem like it wants to exhibit some sort of resistance. Am I starting to become a slave of this?To be perfectly honest, I haven’t kissed a lot of people before mostly because I haven’t met anyone who’s truly interested in me. As a matter of fact, Xavier was the only person that I’ve kissed so far and I will say, he’s got the skills. His mouth and tongue were aggressive and yet gentle at the very same time.He sucked my lower lip and I am just letting him devour me as if my mouth’s a sweet and slushy mango fruit. It seemed that I am losing oxygen and I don’t know why I’m starting to feel like I’m into it again. Apart from gasping for air, I feel
Last Updated : 2023-02-13The Badboy's Heartbeat 17TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSAm I in a hazy fever dream or everything’s happening in reality? Is Xavier really apologizing for all of the shitty things that he’s done to me? Is he really regretting making my life a living hell? I have never thought of that kind of scenario, not in a million human years but here he is, sitting all calm and serious right in front me.“I’m going to start by saying I’m sorry. I really want to apologize for making your life a living hell.” The words echoed back and forth inside my head. Although I should feel good that he had decided to swallow whatever bull crap his having and finally stepped down from his asshole high horse, I’m still in great shock. I couldn’t bring myself to grasp the situation. I don’t know exactly if I’m more than willing to forget that I wanted to slit his throat, that I wanted to feed him to the lions, that I wanted to just pop him off to existence.“I don’t exactly know how could I make up to you but I’m really really sorry for every single horri
Last Updated : 2023-02-15
Latest chapter
The Badboy's Heartbeat THE 100TH AND FINAL HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe stars have gone out their way to align just for Xavier and I. That’s how I’ve been thinking for the past week ever since he agreed to be my prom date. Recovering our relationship wasn’t as easy as eating a slice of a fraudulently healthy carrot cake or travelling a path where you have already traveled before but it did happen. Xavier just lost his mom but it ended up becoming the reason for us to reconnect and come back even stronger. We bonded over losing one of the person that we love the most in the milky way.For him, it was his own mother and for me, it was my own grandmother. It’s clearly not a similar situation but there’s a clear path where it converges at the very center and it a very endearing moment where we just talked about how life is short and that you should live like there’s no tomorrow. Live like there’s no tomorrow, love intensely as if you don’t have anything else to give and laugh hard to your heart’s content; that’s what Xavier taught me.“Oh my
The Badboy's Heartbeat 99TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSEver since the unfortunate passing of Xavier’s mom, he has been such a fun type of lad to hang out with quite surprisingly. It was initially difficult and confusing for me to adjust from this new whole new Xavier but I will admit, I am loving it as much as how I fell in love with the old Xavier.When my grandma passed away, I was in the longest state of shock and sorrow but eventually, I ultimately I learned how to recover from such loss. Xavier on the other hand, while I’m aware that he had cried a lot during his mother’s passing, he bizarrely took a hard left in probably the most positive way that I’ve seen of him. He said he’s going to live his best life and I don’t even have anything bad to say about his decisions in life.I took the ride with him and it has been the most fun and carefree adventure that I’ve ever had in my life. Initially, I had lots of doubts and confusions about Xavier’s intensely positive behavior but ultimately, as time passed by, I ended up falli
The Badboy's Heartbeat 98TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe day of the funeral came just as quickly as I lost my own mother and honestly speaking, I wasn’t, in any means, ready to get up from my bed and slip unto something somber and black. I only had a two hours of sleep because I spent the entire night quietly sobbing inside my room. After all, it is the only time that I could cry and cry and really cry hard without thinking about nobody.I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom and how I should’ve been present for her. I am absolutely aware of the lingering fact that she was struggling and I was entirely glad that she finally decided to checked herself into a rehab. However, you don’t really know what’s going on inside people’s mind even if they say they’re fine and they say they’re ready for a change. I don’t really have any sort of idea if my mom just gave into the temptation of the outside world or if Hector somehow managed to talk her out if or even possibly bribed her with something or if she just missed sniffing powde
The Badboy's Heartbeat 97TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLHugging Jordi Adkins for the first time in a very long while was just the thing that I needed at this point in my life. At first, Jordi was clearly astounded when I first yanked him over into a desperate hug but eventually, he returned the favor and it was just as soothing as I expected it to be. It’s the kind of embrace that I’ve been longing for and I’m finally having it. It felt good to be here with Jordi because I don’t know if I could take what’s happening around in my life anymore.It’s been a while since I’ve been treating Jordi like he does not exist in my very own universe. I tried to fix it with him when I met the couple Dominic and Valentine but since then, I haven’t really had the best time to even focus on getting Jordi back. When I went to Jordi’s house, I felt super disappointed by the fact that he’s already going out with someone else just a few weeks after I ended things with him. It was mindboggling to be perfectly honest. And when I got back home, th
The Badboy's Heartbeat 96TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“X-xavier?” Nikki was taken by a huge surprise just as she recognized the guy inside the yellow sports car.“Oh my god, it’s Xavier.” Jane whispered behind my ears but I was already having a lot of mixed emotions swirling up inside of me.My heart began to beat twice as fast and I don’t know if I was ready to see Xavier just as early as now. It’s true that I missed him so badly and I don’t even want to admit that to myself because I’m trying to get past him. Apparently, I have a long way to go now that I saw him today. I feel like I’m about to throw up but I also feel like I’m about to pass out at the very same time.Xavier looked amazingly different and that was the part of me who’s still hoping that we could fix this speaking on my behalf. He dyed his hair black and he looked bizarrely different but still hot as ever. I felt a slight pang on my chest and it seemed that my tongue got cut off.“I’m sorry, Nikki.” Xavier uttered.“Oh, shit. You dyed your hair black?” Nikki
The Badboy's Heartbeat 95TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI woke up with the slow golden light of midday filtering through my window. I forgot how many days it has been until I walked out of my room and then I realized today was already the twenty-fourth. It seemed to me like it was just a blink of an eye but I guess that’s all because the days were pretty much uninteresting. I’m doing nothing but showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’ve been sleeping for so long that it became an underlying concern for my protective mother. She said that sleeping for more than eight hours was a simple sign of sorrow that could lead to depression. I guess she was right about it. I am really that much depressed and she completely knows why. I don’t even know why I’m getting so mopey when I’ve been trying my best to block Xavier’s unrelenting presence off of my mind.It was just a few hours left before Christmas and this year, one thing is for sure, I’m not much excited as I was last year or the year before that and the year before that ye
The Badboy's Heartbeat 94TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSIt was the smell of alcohol evaporating from my body mixed with a banging headache that got me running towards the toilet when I woke up from going to that house party Nikki invited us into. I was throwing up so badly that I almost felt like I’m going to start barfing all of my insides. I was hugging the toilet bowl as if it was the only friend I have in this trying times.I spent almost half an hour on the bathroom floor thinking I’m dying up until the moment my mom knocked on the door. I instantly felt good when I heard her screaming out my name. There seemed to be some sort of a healing power coming from her voice that made me stand up from hugging the toilet seat.“Jordi, Are you okay in there, sweetie?”“Yes, mom. I’m just throwing up, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” I yelled back.“Oh, I’m not worried about you, sweetie. I’m just knocking to remind you that you need to clean up your mess up in there. That’s what you get for overdrinking. I told you to drink moderat
The Badboy's Heartbeat 93RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLXander’s birthday party was well prepared for and it was as grand as the MET gala that there’s even a photoshoot at the gate for every person arriving. I was just taking a peek on my window but I could see everything. I don’t think I’ve celebrated a birthday like this in my life. Though, to me, the way I see things panning out, this was going to be the last birthday that Xander was ever going to celebrate in this household. Xander mentioned that he’s going to be kicked out of the house once this party was over and I felt slightly bothered and sad by that.The outfit that was given to me to wear was draped on the bed and it was just waiting for me to slip on them for the entire hour. It was a yellow suit with touches of black and a few sparkling stones. I don’t even want to be invited to this party and that’s all because I’m developing such laziness. I’m very lazy to go out there and meet new people.Right after slipping on the suit that was provided for me, I looked ov
The Badboy's Heartbeat 92ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe dinner with my dad’s family did not go well just as I was expecting it. The tension within the family was very much evident from the get go. I may have unconsciously observed everything.My dad and his wife Rachel doesn’t have the best relationship of husband and wife and anyone could’ve guessed that right away. They weren’t very subtle with how they’re treating each other even right in front of their children. In fact, I do remember my dad somehow loved my mother in a very different sense than what I just witnessed between him and his original wife and the mother of his three children. In this world, while it’s very much common that patriarchy is ruling, I have sensed Rachel was also after the money.Xiomara was that one member of the family who just doesn’t know how to adjust and is charged up with built-up anger and some nasty attitude. She hated everything and everyone. I’m personally giving her the benefit of the doubt because I don’t have any idea of the thin
