9TH HEARTBEAT

XAVIER ROCKWELL

I would have never thought that approaching someone you know just for a simple conversation would be this much difficult especially for me. People know me for just approaching anybody and talking smug off to their faces. Also, I used to be dosed with such swag and confidence when I’m poking fun at Jordi but now, things aren’t going well for me. I’m like an elephant afraid of a freaking mouse.

When I got to school early this morning, I saw Jordi sitting alone at the bench, most probably waiting for his friends to show up. Seems like I have that first chance to actually approach him but then I was quick to realize that there are a lot of people watching and I froze. I wouldn’t say I was intimidated but I know I just froze unexpectedly in the moment. Then I realized I wasn’t coping well with the aftermath of what happened.

I used to enjoy getting on Jordi’s nerves and making him feel shittier and shittier every single day. It was kind of my vitamin. Him whining and beggin