JORDI ADKINS
Once upon a time, there was a teenage gay boy named Jordi Adkins who made the biggest mistake of his life yet. He got drunk and wasted at a house party and woke up the next morning with that naked mistake.
Well, shit, that teenage gay boy was me and that’s the shittiest thing that has ever happened to my shitty life. It took me the whole weekend to let the reality that I hooked up with Xavier Rockwell sink in. Getting wasted at that stupid house party was clearly a mistake on my part. However, I’m not going to put all of the blame on me. Xavier’s a total douchebag for letting it all happen and he’s clearly part responsible. One second he’s just making my life a freaking nightmare and the next thing I know; he just made his way inside my ass.
“Jane, if I give you five bucks right now, would you dare to slap me?” Sitting right next to Jane, I just made this weird offer that made her cinch her eyebrows on me.
“Are you okay, Jordi?” She turned her focus on me giving me that usual worried tone of hers before eventually touching my forehead. “Are you having a fever or something?”
“I’m fine, Jane.” I replied nonchalantly swatting her hand off of my forehead.
“I’d do it.” Nikki chimed in.
“Okay, do it!” I turned towards Nikki presenting my face all for her to slap.
I just feel like I haven’t woken up from a very horrible dream. I couldn’t believe the actual fact that something happened between me and that douchebag Xavier Rockwell. Yes, I do agree that he’s quite hot but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s the last guy that I’m going to lose my virginity with. Plus, I’m no longer virgin, that’s the other thing that I couldn’t believe.
Nikki didn’t waste any time and slapped me in the face but it wasn’t the hardest slap that I knew she could do.
“Shit, Nikki. Don’t tell me you call that slap a bad bitch slap? I didn’t even felt a thing.”
“Oh, you really want a bad bitch slap?”
“Yes, please! Give it to me, Nikki! Give me that bad bitch slap!” I begged.
“Okay, let me have a ritual first.”
Nikki took a step back, rubbed her hands together, swung her arm three times before eventually slapping me.
“FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKK!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs eventually getting all of the attention of people in the hallway. “Damn, girl. That was it!”
“Do you want another one?” Nikki asked but I already knew I’m good. “I think half of my face just turned red.”
“Yeah, let me slap the other half so it would be even. It would look like you have a semi-permanent blush on.” Nikki added and it’s relatively difficult for me to discern if she was being serious or if she was being sarcastic about it.
“Nope, I’m good.” I shook my head.
“Okay-dokes.” Nikki nodded in agreement while Jane stood looking perplexed by the current situation. “Anyway, Jordi. You kind of bailed on me last Friday night. Where the hell did you go?”
“I...” I paused not wanting to recall whatever happened that night. It is a memory that I want to start to forget even though I don’t really have much of a clear memory of it. “I-I went home. You know, I have to be home by midnight so...”
“Oh, yeah. We got ourselves a gay Cinderella.” Nikki declared.
“Gay Cinderella? Did you like left your shoe or something?” Jane chimed in for the first time in minutes and the first thing that came out of her mouth was utter stupidity.
Nikki and I just gave Jane the death stare before eventually walking away and going straight to class.
The day rolled in and much to my dismay, things doesn’t feel normal at all. I saw Xavier in his usual chair and we shared a quick eye contact that only made me feel utterly confused. It was crazy that I felt a jolt in the pits of my stomach from that quick second of eye contact. Things just became bizarre and I should feel happy that throughout the day, he never tried to bully me. I don’t feel like my day was that much complete without him hitting me or whatever it is that he does to me. It sounded toxic but I really do feel like it.
I know I should be delighted and grateful that I accidentally made him stop from actually bullying me.
The week became unprecedentedly peaceful for me which should be the best thing following that unexpected hook up. I should be glad about the plot twist but the only people who are happy about me were Jane and Nikki. They noticed how Xavier couldn’t even speak a word when I around and that he’s not even trying to poke fun of me. Xavier’s friends Darren and Nixon had their eyes on other weaker people which was another plus, I guess. Those two never really got off my back but Nikki and Jane could really handle those two minions.
Friday came quicker than I thought and still, Xavier never tried to come near me or even insult me with his mean words. I found myself eating lunch with Jane and Nikki and things started to shift.
“Don’t you think it’s weird that Xavier got off of your back that easily?” Jane inquired before eventually shoving a forkful of salad in her mouth.
“Yeah, I noticed that too. It’s a bit strange, don’t you think?” Nikki nodded and looked over at me.
“I...I don’t have any idea what you two are talking about.” Deep inside me, I was going a little bit nervous.
“I’m happy that he stopped poking fun at you and it’s not that I want him to continue bullying you but it felt really weird like he’s onto something...” Jane continued. “Uhm, what’s that word that they use?”
“Deepshit?” Nikki answered Jane’s query.
“That one.”
“Jesus, you two.” I heaved out.
“Did something happened between you two?” Jane followed up looking carefully into my eyes.
“W-what?” I started to have a small panic attack on the inside but I know I need to be calm and placid on the outside. “N-nothing happened between us. I don’t know what you two are talking about.”
“For real. Why are you sounding defensive, Jordi?” Jane asked which made me realize I was really being defensive.
“No, I’m not. I’m done with this conversation. I think I’m lucky and I’m glad that Xavier stopped poking fun at me.” I lashed out letting them know that I didn’t want to talk about Xavier any longer. I haven’t gotten his name out of my thoughts all throughout the week and now, even my friends are intrigued about the drastic changes.
“Anyway, I heard Kylie Jenner’s releasing a new shade of lipstick.” Nikki began unconsciously changing the topic and getting the heat off of me just as I wanted.
“Oh my god, really?” Jane squealed expressing her excitement for a new lipstick.
These two are really obsessed with lipsticks and every beauty product that famous people releases when they themselves are more beautiful even without makeup. I bet when Rhianna releases a new product, they’d be squealing over it.
To be brutally honest, I’m not really a huge fan of makeup and this is coming from an out and proud gay person. How fucking ironic is that? Perhaps, it’s all because make-up products really do irritate my skin. Jane, Nikki and I played with them the first time that they came at home and after that first time, I had a severe allergic reaction. My mom was worried about me and I was afraid that she might find out that I just played with makeup. I ended up lying to her. I told her it’s probably because of the tempura that we had ordered and ever since then, shrimps became banned at home which sucked because I really do love shrimps. I should’ve just told her it’s because of the broccoli because maybe then, broccoli would be the one banned instead of shrimp.
After lunch, I was walking on my way towards the restroom when someone suddenly pushed me inside the same janitor’s closet. I never got to see who it was and although I have a slight clue, it was pretty dark inside.
“Who the fuck are you?” I cursed out loud grabbing the guy’s hand cold and sweaty hands.
“Hey, it’s me.” The voice whispered and I immediately knew who it was.
“Xavier?”
He turned on the lights and I was right. I was staring at Xavier motherfucking Rockwell, the guy who used to beat the shit out of me.
JORDI ADKINS“Are you going to hit me again?” I asked outright. I felt frightened and shocked at the very same time but I felt compelled to act tougher this time around.“Why would you think of that, curlytops?” He replied with another question and the weirdest thing I noticed was he doesn’t sound like the jerk that I used to know.Am I allowed to think that the world may be turning upside down? Because the look painted in Xavier’s face doesn’t look like he’s going to beat the shit out of me. In fact, he looked like he’s way too confused and I’m just as baffled as he was.“Don’t act brand new, Xavier.” I blurted out feeling a lot like filled with courage. Maybe having the whole week Xavier-free was the only thing that I needed in order to have this fleeting feeling of courage.“Jordi, I... I...” Xavier couldn’t even look at me in the eye for more than a few seconds. That’s obviously the oddest thing for the person who used to humiliate me.“What, Xavier? Are you the one who’s stutteri
XAVIER ROCKWELLI wish I found some better sounds no one's ever heardI wish I had a better voice that sang some better wordsI wish I found some chords in an order that is newI wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sangI was told when I get older, all my fears would shrinkBut now I'm insecure, and I care what people thinkI plugged in my earphones and while the music played loud as fuck, the beating inside my chest was even louder almost thunderous. I don’t really know what’s happening to me. I just saw Jordi Adkins pass by right in front of me and then boom, there goes my anxiety. Throughout the entire weekend, I haven’t really stopped thinking about what happened between the two of us. I wouldn’t consider being preoccupied as a blessing but I would admit that I somehow, in a weird way, forgot about the madness that’s been living in our tiny little apartment.My name's Blurryface and I care what you thinkMy name's Blurryface and I care what you thinkFrom a certain distance,
XAVIER ROCKWELLI would have never thought that approaching someone you know just for a simple conversation would be this much difficult especially for me. People know me for just approaching anybody and talking smug off to their faces. Also, I used to be dosed with such swag and confidence when I’m poking fun at Jordi but now, things aren’t going well for me. I’m like an elephant afraid of a freaking mouse.When I got to school early this morning, I saw Jordi sitting alone at the bench, most probably waiting for his friends to show up. Seems like I have that first chance to actually approach him but then I was quick to realize that there are a lot of people watching and I froze. I wouldn’t say I was intimidated but I know I just froze unexpectedly in the moment. Then I realized I wasn’t coping well with the aftermath of what happened.I used to enjoy getting on Jordi’s nerves and making him feel shittier and shittier every single day. It was kind of my vitamin. Him whining and beggin
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt wasn’t until I got far away that I started to feel exceedingly ashamed of what I just did. I just kissed Jordi Adkins and ran away like some coward who does not want to face any of the consequences of their own action. Talking to him was the whole intention and maybe kissing him too. Yes, I did get what I want when I kissed him but I felt like I never really got to have an open conversation about what happened. Though I managed to clear things up with him, that’s not enough for me. I know I wanted some more.I got scared and maybe I would call myself a coward for that. I just recalled the first time that Hector landed his fist on me and my mom, it was also the same day that he called me a worthless faggot. And I thought the world has already cast that derogatory word into oblivion. Apparently, not.I thought that day was only a one-time kind of thing, that he just got pissed about my mom, that he’s just tired from work, that he’s just acting up out of pure rage but
JORDI ADKINSThe weekend went in a flash; it seems like us students don’t deserve to rest on weekends just like every adult. My mom’s pitchy pissed off voice woke me up which just reminded me that Monday has finally arrived. Well, that’s not actually my mom, it was the alarm clock that my dad gave me during my fifteenth birthday. He got it from his business trip in France a few years ago and he was the one who uploaded mom’s pissed off voice on it. I don’t have any idea why he did it but apparently, it’s working. Also, I don’t know how he got mom’s voice—he obviously recorded it—but I don’t remember my mom shouting at me like that. It must’ve been one of those times where she was freaky mad at dad for overdrinking.I jumped out of my bed feeling much rather lazy and drained. I don’t know what’s wrong with Mondays and why it has this crazy effect on people, and apparently, everyone hates it too. Including me of course.I went straight to the bathroom and as I looked into the mirror, I
JORDI ADKINSThis has got to be another fear that I have to add to my long list of phobias. I should’ve already added it to the list but I just had the utmost confidence that I will never be paired up with him in any way, however, the odds don’t seem to be backing me up right now.To be paired up with Xavier Rockwell for this stupid babysitting assignment was just a rock salt to my already bleeding wound. I would rather sell my soul to the devil than be partnered with him. I don’t want to be around him for the entire damn week because that’s not just a nightmare but it’s more like I’m going to burn at the bottom pits of hell.Avoiding him for the entire week was not because of the fact that he’s my bully but it’s because something has changed within him. I thought I already knew him as this shitty person who always take pleasure by picking on me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a shitty asshole but his utmost unpredictability was the one thing that’s frightening about him as of right n
JORDI ADKINS“No effin’ way!” Nikki exclaimed expressing her utter shock when I got to lunch with them. The first thing I did was to reveal to them that I’m paired up with Xavier Rockwell for our sex education assignment.“Ugh, can you fucking believe that I was paired up with him of all people?” I trailed off.“Did you at least asked Mrs. Harding for a switch?” Jane inquired. Her bag of flour was just sitting idly right beside her food as if it was an actual baby but really, it was just a bag of flour.I lazily stared at my own food. “I did and she wasn’t budging at all.”“Well, that’s unfortunate.” Nikki chimed in. “You are definitely going to be a punching bag, Jordi.” Nikki added and perhaps she’s forty percent right about that. I don’t think this new Xavier’s planning on poking fun at me which was hard to believe but that’s what I’m seeing right now. Forty percent’s still a huge number if we are going to talk about percentage rate and math shit but Xavier’s acting weirdly differe
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe pang of embarrassment finally took its toll on me and I ended up running away from the house party. This was the very first time that I declined a very consensual offer coming from a fuckable chick and I’m surprised about that. Nixon knew my type when it comes to a woman and I’m pretty sure that’s the reason why Nixon introduced me to her. Francine was really hot and wild. I would totally smash her down but I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me. When she pulled me upstairs, I was under the impression that I was into the moment. And then I just realized that I’m not even having a simple hard-on even when she’s already jiggling her bosoms in front of my face.When I finally got home that night, I found my mother and Hector having their very own intimate session inside the one bedroom that we all share. Luckily, the door was shut closed that I didn’t have to accidentally witness both of them touching each other. My mother’s a screamer and Hector really cuss a lot