CHAPTER 1

I seriously grabbed the portfolio folder on the table. Irritation suddenly etched in my express when I saw the background of the man I am going to married. This is my only ace to keep my name clean and to cover up myself from the issues and speculations happened these past few weeks.

Ang galing nga ng mga magulang ko dahil alam nila kung sino ang lalaking makabubuti para sa akin. I'm not obsessed with this man but for God's sake, we both know that if our path would crossed at the same spot, we'd feel the blazing wildfire of anger and we might burn each other's heart for the second time.

"What if he wouldn't like you, Audra?" usisang sambit ni Jam.

I leaned myself on my chair while looking at the other subpoena where they are petitioning for my licence suspension.

"Gustavo still the same. Huwag mo akong pangunahan dahil ako ang nakakilala na sa kanya," sipat ko.

"Oh, really? You're so confident with your intuition-"

"Doon naman ako magaling," putol ko.

"The news were all over the highest society, Audra. Masyado kang kampante. You are old enough to handle it with maturity. Grow up; stop always having your father by your side. And this. This time, your father's idea for solving your issue might not turn out as he had hoped. Remember that."

That caught me off guard. Paano nga kung totoo ang sinasabi niya? I'm not sure if I could tame him easily. He's not the soft-hearted man I've known from the very beginning.

"Would he feel disgusted with me?" I looked at her, sitting behind the floor to ceiling window. 

"Towards your issue, the answer is yes. Imagine, he's going to have a relationship with a woman who has current involvement with a married guy?" She chuckled.

Ako na ngayon ang nainis sa pamemersonal niya sa akin. Hinarap ko sa at sa sobrang inis, sumigaw ako nang napakalakas at napakatagal.

I wasn't flirting with Alex. Nasa harap ko lang siya na nakikipag-usap at nagsasabing may problema sila ng asawa niya kahit wala naman akong pakialam doon at nagkataong may vlogger na kumukuha ng video sa buong club at mayroong lampa ng bumangga ang lalaki sa likuran ko. Aksidenteng nakuhanan kaming dalawa habang ang kanyang mukha ay aksidenteng nasagi ang aking balikat. 

It was an accident, not flirting with him. There are massive differences between that but they are living with a toxic mindset. I can't please them with the truth I am holding. I have been so busy with my own life, improvements despite the mistakes I made these past few years. 

"Imagine? You are going to married with the man you broke years ago." Jam didn't stop nagging me.

"Na-iisip ka ba, Jam? I was also broken. Hindi lang halata." I smirked.

I tried reaching out to his company to reserve a business appointment for our unfinished business. I'd like to settle it first before I tell my father that I am ready to accept his decision. Hindi nga ako sinagot sa intercom kaya mas minabuti kong magtungo na lang doon sa Taguig.

Binuksan ng mga security guard ang entrance ng napakalaking gusali. Pinagtitinginan ako ng mga empleyado sa lobby at walang ibang ginawa kundi pagbulong-bulungan ako. 

"Ano po ang sa inyo, Ma'am? Wala po rito si Sir Alex, nasa isang meeting."

Agad kong nilingon ang babaeng receptionist. I looked at her from head to toe and my eyes drifted to her forehead.

"Excuse me? What do you think of me, woman? A demanding mistress?" I asked casually.

Hindi niya maitago ang kanyang kaba. She gulped ten times and never left my eyes.

"It's just my intuition, Ma'am. Baka po kasi may kailangan kayo sa kanya," agad niyang bawi.

"Wala akong kailangang sa kanya. I am here to follow up my appointment with Mr. Gustavo Antenor." My eyes wandered the whole floor with insulting look towards the employees who are looking at me maliciously. 

Sarap nilang tanggalan ng trabaho. Maghintay lang sila. Kapag pinakasalan na ako ni Gustavo, I will promote those people who stared at me differently. Ilalagay ko silang lahat sa pagiging window cleaner. 

"Unfortunately, I wasn't able to give an update on his secretary to put it in his schedule, Ma'am. He's busy the whole week, but I will surely tell his secretary to check his schedule next week." 

Irritated, I walked away and harshly held my hand bag. I marched confidently going out of the building. Ilang sigaw at mura ako sa loob ng sasakyan dahil hindi ko nakuha ang gusto ko.

I tried calling him twice but it ends up being rejected by him. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi niya ako gustong kausapin. We both experienced the same state. Mas mahirap pa ang dinanas ko kaya walang hiya siya.

"Bwisit!" sigaw ko at hinampas ang aking sasakyan.

I drove back home and waited for a single response from him. Hindi na baleng ako ang mag-demand ng kaunting oras para makausap siya kaysa kay Alex na naghahabol sa akin.

Hindi ko gustong gawing kabit ang sarili ko. I am taking care of my reputation and I won't ever give up the name that I worked hard for. Pinagpaguran ko ang lahat-lahat. I raised myself to have my etiquette. Hindi sa usap-usapan na kabit ako magtatapos ang buhay ko.

"Kaya ka ba nagmamadali kanina dahil nagkita kayo ni Ellie?" si Jam.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinagsasasabi ng babaeng ito. Mainis na naman ang ulo kong bumaling sa kanya. She knows that I have a hard time dealing with my stress but that damn creature triggers me.

"Sino na namang Ellie?" I got a slice of the pizza she ordered.

Niyakap ko ang tuhod kong may kumot at tinuon ang mga mata sa mga ilaw sa baba.

"Asawa ni Alex. Ikaw ha? Sana pinatunayan mong hindi ka kabit. Why did you walk out?" pang-iinis sa akin ng bestfriend ko.

Napatigil ang aking pagnguya at pumikit na naman sa katangahang ginawa ko.

"I didn't walk out because of her. Umalis ako dahil hindi available si Gustavo."

She laughed so hard. "Huwag mo nga akong lokohin. Nandoon si Gustavo, sumunod kay Ellie."

"What the hell?!" I sat up properly.

Binaba ko ang pizza at masama siyang tinignan. I wasn't aware of my surroundings when I left with irritation.

"Pinanonood ka pa nga nilang nagdabog na umalis. Ellie wanted to follow you but Gustavo held her arm to interrupt her."

I can't hide my feelings. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil nagpadala ako sa ginawa sa akin ng receptionist. But I didn't know why I smiled by how he interrupt her from mobbing me.

"Sigurado ka bang hindi mo sila nakita?" nagdududa pa ring tanong ni Jam.

I shook my head. "Hindi." I grabbed my pizza.

"Talaga?"

"Oo nga. Kung nakita ko sila hindi na sana ako stressed ngayon." I went back to my old position.

"Alam mo ba kung saan sila pupunta?" She chuckled.

"Hindi, at wala na akong dapat isipin dahil hindi ko na sakop ang buhay ni Ellie."

"They had... you know..."

Unti-unti akong bumaling sa kanya at lumunod nang mariin.

"She had so many rants through social media, Audra. Sinampahan ka pa nga niya ng kaso to revoke your license. Kaya ba 'yon ng ego ng isang trained woman? Pinahiya ka niya, Audra. Remember that."

"Jam, ano ang alam mo na hindi ko alam? Enlighten me, please." It was almost a whisper.

"Alex was rebelling. He saw his wife cheating on him with Gustavo. They are fuck buddies, Audra. You need to think about it deeply. Just keep on reaching out to Gustavo. What he did was a good sign, girl. Ang galing din ng Daddy mo para itulak ka sa alam niyang makakapaghiganti ka." 

Uminom ako. "Idadaan ko pa rin sa lahat ang tama."

"Estupida! You own a law firm. You're an attorney. You lie often." She rolled her eyes.

"You should get married with him as soon as fucking possible. Or, engagement will do. Palabasin mong kabit si Ellie dahil 'yon ang tama. I've had enough, Audra. Sumosobra na ang babaeng 'yan."

I've never been in this state of being relieved these past few days. Hindi nga ako sigurado ngunit nandito na 'to. Ayaw kong may marinig ako kay Rajah kaya gagawin ko ang lahat para linisin ang aking pangalan.

Agaran kong dinampot ang cellphone ko nang tumunog dahil sa text. Sinilip ko ang screen at halos mawala ang aking hininga. I looked at Jam and her mouth is still full of pizza. My eyes are still widened and I couldn't speak.

"What?" kalmado at kontroladong tanong ng aking kaibigan.

"Gustavo texted," I said.

She vomited all the things inside her mouth and almost choked. I gave her my water immediately while worrying.

"Look at it," utos niya.

"Utang na loob, Jam. Huwag ngayon."

Nagawan niya ng paraan para agawin ang cellphone ko at nilapag sa center table. I followed her and attempted to reach for my phone. Dinungaw ko ang ulo ko roon at tinignan ang message.

Gustavo:

Good evening! It seems like you want to discuss something important a while ago. I apoligize for the receptionist with the sudden interruption of whatever it is. I am free anytime tomorrow to hear your discussion of your business proposal.