CHAPTER 4

"Mayroon ba tayong unfinished business, Audra?"

Napaghahalataan ko na 'tong lalaking ito. Napakapersonal kung magsalita. Maraming ibig sabihin ang bawat salita niya. Pero parang ako lang ang nag-iisip ng kakaiba.

"We need closure about the past, Gustavo. There are so many ups and downs we went through... and, uh... we didn't make it in the first place."

Nang-iinsulto siyang umikot para tanawin ang mga ilaw ng bayan. "Why don't you just tell me that you want me back? Dami mong alam."

I pouted and remained facing at the house. Nakasandal sa railings ang aking likod. Nilingon ko siya at nakita kong titig na titig siya sa akin.

"Sa dinami-rami kasi ng lalaki, sa pamilyado pa? Tapos ngayon, idadamay mo ako sa kalokohan mo? You've never grown up, Audra."

Mapanghusga niyang pa rin akong tinititigan. What he said was really insulting and it pissed me off.

"Excuse me, Gustavo! I did! I've grown too far. I've been independent! Stop judging me. Hindi na ako gumagawa ng kalokohan. And mind you! I know your father's condition! We don't have any choice."

"You weren't satisfied with Alex?" he asked, ignoring what I was saying.

I laughed. That slow moves are so familiar. He's judging me that I haven't yet grown up but look who's talking.

"Kaya ngayon, nagpahanap ka sa ama mo ng panibago mong ilalagay sa listahan mo?" he continued. 

Bahagya ko siyang sinamaan ng tingin dahil masyado na siyang nakakarami sa akin.

"I'm not what you are thinking, Gustavo. If you are thinking that I only want to play with you, that's the purpose, but in front of the people."

Finally, I got his precious attention. He leaned his hip on the railings that I am leaning on.

"You want me to enter into fraudulent marriage?" he asked calmly.

Niyabangan ko siya ng tingin at humakbang. Dahil malamig ngayong gabi, nilagay ko ang aking kamay sa bulsa ng aking trench coat.

"Ang tigas nang pagiging sinungaling mo. You've done this before, Audra!"

"Stop talking about what happened to the both of us years ago when you don't want to settle it first down, Gustavo. I won't meddle your errands, and everything. You are free to do everything you do..."

Of course, it's a part of the plan to get my ruthless revenge to Ellie.

"What really went wrong to the both of us, Audra?"

Nagulat ako sa pagtatanong niya kaya napatingin ako sa mga bituin sa kalangitan. All I know, he's always been the one who doesn't want to open that topic. Akala ko, siya ang hindi handa.

"I don't know. Maybe I was too young."

Umiling siya at sinulyapan ako. "I was also young but ready to take action with the consequences we've done. I hope you knew that before doing your choice."

I can see the pain in his eyes but we can't bring back time again. Nasa tino siya ngayon kaya hindi ko nakikita ang Gustavo na inaasahan kong kausapin.

"It's done, Gustavo. Wala na tayong magagawa roon. You don't want my business proposal? We'd be able to save each other," I said selfishly.

"We might do something for that for us to settle the unfinished business?" he asked with a leap of hope in his eyes. 

I sighed softly. Tumatalon ang aking puso sa konsensiya at may halong kaba sa aking itinatago sa kanya. He doesn't deserve this. But here I am, still tormenting him to the things that I couldn't admit that I have thirty-five percent of share of his fault. Siguro, tama na 'yan para lapatan muna ang nararamdaman ko. 

Kung pagiging makasarili ang linisin ang aking pangalan at ang pagsalba sa pagtigil niyang tamasahin ang buhay na mayroon siya ngayon, lagi ko 'yong gugustuhin. 

"I can't promise, Gustavo. Titignan ko pa." I shifted my sight. 

Humalakhak siya. His baritone laugh was really annoying. "That's why we are here, right? To settle the unfinished business?" nang-aasar niyang tanong. 

Tinago ko ang aking ngiti dahil hindi ko maitago ang bawat ngiti ko dahil parang iniisip niya na napakarami kong dinahilan para magkita tapos ako ngayon ang hindi pa handa sa ano mang dahilan ko. 

"Let's promise we won't break each other again. Ayaw kong saktan kita ulit."

My feelings were enlightened but the conscience hits differently. I can see something I have seen before. He gave me an assurance to take a step with my plan.

"I'll make an agreement for that. Are you going to visit me in the office, or we'll meet each other somewhere?" I suggested.

"It will be safer if I will be visiting you in your office, Audra. Baka magkita na naman kayo ni Ellie." His existence was extremely authoritative. 

Tumaas ang sulok ng aking labi at hindi ko na pinatagal ang sasabihin. "I have so many plans, Gustavo. I hope you are really aware of that." I gazed at the sky with fulfillment in my smile. 

"Kung ano man ang kalokohan mo, huwag mong gagawing kumplikado para sa akin." He's still looking at me like he was really aware of those plans. 

"Wala akong kalokohang gagawin. Gusto ko lang kunin ang gusto ko dahil kailangan ko bilang mabuti at masunuring anak. I don't want to waste everything over that mistaken accusation." I defended myself. 

"You didn't understand what I mean?" tanong niya na parang malayo sa aking sinagot. 

Napatulala ako sa kanya at walang ibang tinignan kun'di ang kanyang mukha. His eyes were menacing and logical. 

"What do you mean?" 

He sighed. "Ang pagpapakasal na alam mo ngayon ay isang kalokohan. Our marriage won't last, Audra? Mahihirapan ako." 

I blinked my eyes and swallowed hard. "Kapag nahirapan ka, you can sign the divorce papers. It's always ready. May marriage contract na tayo, may divorce papers na rin," I said, still clueless and I can't understand what he was saying. 

"Your still insensitive and selfish, Audra? You're not a kid anymore. I thought you've grown up already?"