Chapter 3

"Nilalandi mo ba ang bago nating calculus professor, Jothea?" My fellow student, whose name I can't recall, asked me that. She was referring to Ismael Mondalla. Almost instantly, I formed a frown.

"Anong sinasabi mo?" sagot ko. What in the world? Anong pumasok sa isip niya para isiping nilalandi ko ang propesor na iyon. All I know is that I hate him to death. "Why would I even consider doing that?" I inquired as I let go of the spoon in my hand and turned to face her.

"Dahil sinasadya mong ma-late sa klase niya para magpapansin," she remarked. "You were attempting to get him interested in you, weren't you? Bakit? Para pumasa sa subject niya? That's what you did with Professor Enciso, right?"

My hand felt the urge to slap her face, and I'm sure it caused a commotion across the entire cafeteria. I was very surprised to see the look on her visage. Bakit? Siya naman ang nagsimula. Involving Professor Sybill in this situation is what prompted me to pull the trigger.

"Gosh! Why did you slap me?" said the woman while cradling her left cheek in her hand. "Motherfucker!"

I gasped. "Because you deliberately chose to mess with me, woman! Do you have anything else to say? Dahil kung meron pa, I will gladly smack you again on the other side," I warned, leaving her grimace.

"Fuck you, Jothea! May araw ka rin!"

Before she walked away in front of me, she let out a loud scream of frustration. Why, out of all the times she's been trying to trip me, does she choose this time? Isn't she aware that I shouldn't be bullied because I fight back? The fuck? They have been here with me for the past four years pero hindi pa rin nila ako kilala. Even more so, having the guts to involve Professor Enciso, who had to leave this institution due to that fucking law, is a no-no for me. She should not mess with me and use him against me. She should know her place.

Hindi ko na natapos pa ang pagkain ko dahil tuluyan na akong nawalan ng gana. Hindi na lang din ako papasok sa susunod na klase dahil makikita ko lang ang mga pagmumukha nila. But that was before Dean summoned me to her office. Of course, dahil sa nangyari sa cafeteria. Because Savannah reported me and what I did to her, I missed the chance to ditch the class.

"Kindly bring your parents here, Miss Alvandra," Dean Dator said, making me immediately depressed. Isn't she aware of how things are going with my family?

"Dean, she doesn't have any family." Savannah commented as if it made her more of a person than me. She still has a knowing grin. Kung hilahin ko kaya ang buhok niya sa harap ni Dean?

Dean Dator's sighed as I could see that she was trying to figure out what to do about me. "At the very least, bring here your guardian. I need to talk to them about your performance."

Guardian? Tsk. You have already taken away the one person in this world who truly cares about me, and now you intend to ask me to bring my guardian for me?

"I don't have anyone," I stated. When Dean looks at me, her shoulders fall, and she stares at me intensely, but I can't tell if that's because she feels sorry for me for not having anyone here by my side.

I gasped. There is no reason to feel sorry for me at all. It is a benefit to have no one. Walang mangingialam sa buhay ko. Every choice I make in my life ay ako lang ang may say. Just me.

"There is no way out for you then. Tell Savannah that you are sorry for what you have done." It seemed as though Savannah was satisfied with Dean Dator's suggestion, but me? Nope.

"Not going to happen. It was she who started. If she hadn't messed with me, she would not have received a big, loud slap. Her face deserves it anyway."

I rolled my eyes as I stepped away from the office, and the next thing I knew was that Professor Ismael was standing there, leaning beside the door, listening to us. Tsk. What a pain in my sight! The idea of flirting with someone like him has never crossed my mind. May standard ako! At kailanman ay hindi niya iyon maaabot.

I walked out of the office in a huff. I was aware that Dean Dator was calling my name, but I chose to ignore her and keep going.

The moment I walked out of the college campus was when I first became acutely aware of my own isolation. Naalala ko na naman ang pamilyang wala ako.

My parents are separated and are now both married to someone else. My younger brother has also begun his own family and is currently raising his two children. Although they aren't married yet, nakadalawa na sila. Isang buwan pa nga lang yata ang nakalipas nang manganak ang ka-live in niya. I sighed. Paano ko aabalahin ang mga taong wala nang paki sa akin? Ni hindi nga nila ako kinumusta. How am I going to ask them to go over here for a mess I made?

At ngayon si Professor Sybill na lang ang meron ako, kinuha pa nila sa akin. I can't believe this is my life right now. What a fucking life!

I reached into my pocket, took out a cigarette, and lit it before I made the decision to go to the pub and become intoxicated. Recent events have completely derailed my life. Ano pang silbi ng pag-aaral? No one will go on stage with me anyway. No one will clap for me either. No one will be happy that I have finished my degree. Graduating is not on my list now.

I looked at the screen on my mobile device, hoping that Sybill's name would pop out, but even at this time, he still did not feel the need to contact me. Ano ba talagang dahilan bakit siya biglang nawala? Has he forgotten me as well as his promise? Our first anniversary is around the corner.

After having one last drag before putting the cigarette out for good, I flagged down a cab and traveled to a nearby bar. Ano bang oras na? Ala una? Mukhang mahaba-habang inuman 'to.

I went into the pub, which was bustling with activity despite the fact that it was just afternoon. Majority ng mga tao ay nagsasayawan kasabay ng mga ilaw sa ere. Ang iba naman ay naman ay casual na nakikipag-usapan sa kanilang mga kasama habang nagtatawanan. Samantalang ako ay mag-isa. Mayroon ba sa kanila na katulad ko na iinom para makalimutan ang mga problema pansamantala?

"What can I have for you, Miss?"