Chapter 8.2

I left right after finishing my coffee. I got no answer to everything that bothers me of him. How can I get an answers if I didn't even ask at the first place?

I finished the coffee faster than what I've planned. I can't stand the awkwardness I felt between us. Maybe it's just me, the awkward and him? he didn't feel the same way I guess. Why would he be awkward if he's okay with everything and he thinks everything is fine and Im fine. 

Honestly, I'm starting to get scared and worried. He lured me, the one that has been sleeping, the one that I've been hiding. 

I'm mean it's there, it has always been there but with Ben it has become intensified. 

My monster, what I call it. I'm afraid it might grow bigger and would put my dignity at stake.

I wonder when and where did it start. In the park? maybe. Perhaps it started the first time I saw him in the coffee shop and everything just piles up, his hand on my shoulder, his scent, his eyes, his smile, his voice, his broad shoulders, his words, until it reaches this point. The point where it's hard to go back, might also be the point of no going back. I shouldn't have asked him his order I should just let him stay in the coffee shop without ordering. But it's not everyday when you got to see a handsome and charming and huge and alluring man in Sta. Isabel it's like seeing a big wild deer in the bottom of the forest with enough venison to sustain a long tiring journey.

What can I do? I'm just a kid with a whole different perspective. 

Now I'm putting the blame on myself. I'm damned, so damned.

Why are you doing this to me Ben?!

Maybe I should avoid him? but he would suspect and start asking questions and would eventually make me spill the tea.  Owsh*t I'm in panick.

Or maybe I should take the risk? as they say, the higher the risk the higher the return. And after? when he already did know, what will be the after? wishing to the stars for him to like me back? 

Mangarap ka nalang Jethro the star would say. 

Shut up star!!!

The higher the risk the higher loss!

Why are you doing this to me Ben?!

Everything vanished away when I saw her approaching. Her presence just kicked away all my cloud of thoughts. Biglang nag init ang mga tenga ko. 

This cock thirsty lady!

I know you're plans madam better not continue it.

"Goodmorning ma'am." I began. I won't let her know what I'm thinking.

She stared at me looking partly shocked. After familiarizing who am I, "Oh Jethro!" she snapped.

"Yes ma'am. Napadalaw po kayo," 

"Oo may... ahhh... bibisitahin lang." 

Bisita lang?

"By the way kumusta kana?" malumanay na tanong niya.

"Okay lang po ako. Surviving"

she smiled just like how a grandmother smile to her grandchild. A kind of comforting smile.

I smiled back.

"O sya sige una na'ko."

I must stop her.

"Sige po pauwi narin po ako, kakagaling ko lang sa kaibigan ko sa 23rd unit."

"Huh?" she mused.

"Bago po siya dito si Ben. Kilala niyo ho?" 

Napalunok ng laway si Miss Mina.

"Ah-ah... hindi." she quavered.

"Actually he's with his new visitor now kaya umuwi ako. Ayokong maka istorbo sa kanila." halos pabulong kong sabi.

She looked stunned as she should be.

"A-ah... sino?" she wondered.

Bahagya akong lumapit at halos pabulong kong sinabi,

"Si Kathleen. Tingin ko po may namamagitan sa kanila. Napapansin ko po kasing madalas lumalagi si Kathleen sa apartment ni Ben."

She's trying to hide it but she just can't hide her uneasiness.

I laughed, " Just nevermind ma'am di mo naman kilala yun si Ben. I just can't believe how obsessed she is with young girls." I laughed again. " Sige ho una na ho ako."

I left her stunned. He can't believe what she just heard while I was just walking away all smiling and successful.

I dont even know who the heck Kathleen is. I'm praying that she is just a name cause if she really exists and she's here in town then I'll be truly in trouble but I thank her for being an accomplice of a succesful crime.