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Calvin

Penulis: Anna Wynter
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2025-04-12 05:08:22

~ CALVIN ~

“I have dyslexia.”

The words hit harder than a slap.

I stand there, frozen, as those three words echo in my head over and over again—louder than the rushing blood in my ears, louder than anything else.

I have dyslexia.

Fuck.

How didn’t I see it? The missed words, the awkward pauses when he read aloud, the sudden bursts of frustration when we studied… It all makes sense now. And I thought he was just being lazy, or stubborn, or—God, I was such an asshole.

He wasn’t ignoring the work. He was fighting a silent battle I didn’t even bother to notice.

And now I feel like shit.

He told me like a weapon. Like a secret he'd hidden for so long, only to use it now to hurt me. And the worst part? It worked. Because I deserve it.

I still don’t move. My feet feel glued to the floor, and my chest feels… hollow. Like something just got yanked out of me and I didn’t even realize how much it mattered until it was gone. And this isn't about me wanting to fuck him, it's because Alistair Moran
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  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I don't go to class.I know Ray would be pissed—probably yap my ear off once he realized the seat he saved for me would stay empty.Instead, I head toward the faculty library.Don’t ask me why.I can’t read in there. The fonts in the textbooks are too damn small. The words blur together like ants on crack.So I just sat there.Staring into nothing.Replaying that scene over and over in my head until it all blurs into white noise.Then, I must’ve passed out. Thirty-two minutes later, I woke up with a stiff neck and a decision.I’d had enough.I grab my backpack and trudge out, the sunlight slicing through my thoughts as I head to the parking lot. Blast music at full volume the whole ride home, hoping to drown the noise in my head.Home is empty.And I don’t mean no-family-empty. I mean clinically sterile.The only signs of life were the patrol guards sweating in tailored suits, their sunglasses probably like mirrors hiding judgments they didn’t dare voice.I respond to the

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-13
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   1. Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~Bait.Wait.Strike.As soon as we step foot into the locker room with me leading the line, I turn and yank Gunner by the collar before descending on him and throwing a punch to his stupidly sweaty face.I can feel hands trying to yank me off his miserable body but I hold still, transgressing my anger on him.“What the fuck, Tae!” I hear my teammates gasp as they try to pull me off him. But I wasn't having any of it as I leaned my weight on my knee which was pressed deep into Gunner's stomach while he grunted as if he was about to vomit the water he'd drank on the field.He should vomit the fucking thing.I throw punch after punch to his disgusting face, cutting off his fruitless attempts to hit me back until he's a gasping bloody mess below me. That's when I finally yielded to the yanks, chest heaving.“Won't you consider my offer to visit an anger management class?”My head snaps to Ray who'd spoken, gritting my teeth.“Bastard.”Then, I turn and match deeper into the lo

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-09
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   2. Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I hate most Mondays.Especially the Mondays in which I have a 9am lecture. Unfortunately, I hate all Mondays this semester. I have 9am lectures throughout.And escaping is not even an option. Comes with the entire final year shit package.I adjust my leather jacket before grabbing my backpack and my key. And I mentally let out a sigh of relief when I step out of the now empty house.Everyone's gone, more to my advantage.I start my car and speed off to one of the banes of my existence… school. Some minutes later, I pull up into the lecture hall's parking lot before stepping out of my car and slinging my backpack over my shoulder.Outside is almost empty and the last bit of students are already disappearing through the double doors. Looks like I'm the last one. Again.With a shrug, I make my way into the hall. I walk for a few minutes before pushing open the second door of the lecture room.A grunt tears through my throat as Professor Wilson's eyes lands on me as soon as

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-09
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   3. Calvin

    ~ CALVIN ~As soon as I step foot into the façade of a manor, the smell of cigarettes pierces my nostrils. I groan, tugging my hoody over my head as I try to walk without being noticed.But yikes!His eyes land on me the moment I step in.Father smiles, showcasing his brownish teeth and the cigarette dangling between his lips.“Welcome son.” I nod, not in the mood to keep the conversation going. I want to scream at him again, want to warn him. But no, he never listens. How can someone diagnosed with chronic kidney failure continue to take substances that have caused it? You know what? Fuck this shit.“How was school?” He asks again and I turn to him, brows raised.“What do you want, father?”He chuckles, swatting the air as he blows the poisonous smoke into the air and I hold my breath. “It's just that the money you brought has finished. I would like to have another one. Oh, and your mother’s too, she told me she'd not eaten.”Knowing him, he probably forced her to hand over her mone

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-10
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   4. Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~ “Ali, did you see the message sent to the main group?” Ray asks as we walk to the field, side by side.I chew the insides of my mouth as I grip my bag tighter.“Umm no, what's it about?”His eyes dart around us at the people passing and he lowers his head, peering up at me as we continue walking. “People are here.” He says in a hushed tone and tilts his chin to my phone which was in my hand. “Be fast and check.”I glance at my phone's screen, the message notification glaring at me. My thumb hovers over it, but the words are already starting to blur together letters shifting before my eyes.Fuck. Not now. Not here.Shaking my head, I drop my hand. “I will check it later. I'm not wearing my glasses.” I lied. “You can tell me when we reach the locker room.” “Well…” He shrugs casually as we continue walking.I have a secret.One that I can't afford other people knowing so as not to tarnish the Morano name. Father's words not mine.I adjust my sunglasses as we finally cross

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-10
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   5. Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I squint my eyes, focusing hard on the words, trying to grasp them before they flicker and disappear before I can pin them down, my brain scrambling to make sense of them.Is it ‘from’ or ‘form’? ‘B’ or ‘D’? ‘Was’ or ‘saw’? The harder I try, the worse it gets. Like a cruel joke dumb me couldn't grasp.This is not helping.I have a secret. One that if let out will tarnish the family name. I'm dyslexic.The Moranos are supposed to be brilliant. Ruthless. Untouchable. A fucking legacy.But me?I'm the broken link in a perfect bloodline. The failure no one talks about.They saw it. They knew. But instead of helping me, they buried it like it was some shameful disease. Moranos don't need help from doctors for a weakness like this. They don't need help. They just… win. It runs in the blood. And if they can't… They pretend.Like me.I zoom the words in, adjusting my glasses on the bridge of my nose as I try to read the whole sentence while trying to push back a looming headache

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-10
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I shove my keys into my pocket, barely giving a second thought to the car door slamming behind me as my eyes dart around.The library's parking lot is quiet, almost too quiet. I can hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest as if reminding me that I'm here, doing this. Fucking hell.I'd told myself that I don't care. It’s just Rutledge, just some pathetic excuse for a nerd who thinks he’s better than me. But the tension in my gut disagrees.I need help I hate that I’m feeling this. It’s fucking ridiculous. But I’ll be damned if I let him see me sweat.As I march towards the library's entrance, I shove my hands into my pockets, clenching them into fists, trying to stop the tremor wracking through me. But the nerves won’t settle. They’re already building up for what’s next.I remind myself that Rutledge doesn’t know. He won’t know.He doesn’t deserve to know.And that's it.I didn't bother to sign in my name with the librarian and just made my way to the second floor. The

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-14
  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Calvin

    ~ CALVIN ~“Are we going to be doing it here?” He asks stupidly, his eyes darting around before he pulls out the chair opposite me and drops on it casually like he owns the place.“What better place than here?” I reply, not bothering to look up from my book.Right now, Morano and I are tucked in a secluded part of the library on the fourth floor - the last floor. This is the only place I could think of for our first coaching session. The place is too dusty and quiet but it's the best spot to keep nosy idiots out of my business. I'm not about to let Morano and his bad luck ruin my spotless reputation just because he's too dumb to keep up with his courses.He snickers as he pulls out a tablet and a stylus pen, like that's supposed to impress me or something.“You read with that?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. His straight black hair falls over his face and he smoothens it back, showing his straight aristocratic nose.He shoots me with a glare. “You got a problem with it?”“No.” I say cool

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-14

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  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I don't go to class.I know Ray would be pissed—probably yap my ear off once he realized the seat he saved for me would stay empty.Instead, I head toward the faculty library.Don’t ask me why.I can’t read in there. The fonts in the textbooks are too damn small. The words blur together like ants on crack.So I just sat there.Staring into nothing.Replaying that scene over and over in my head until it all blurs into white noise.Then, I must’ve passed out. Thirty-two minutes later, I woke up with a stiff neck and a decision.I’d had enough.I grab my backpack and trudge out, the sunlight slicing through my thoughts as I head to the parking lot. Blast music at full volume the whole ride home, hoping to drown the noise in my head.Home is empty.And I don’t mean no-family-empty. I mean clinically sterile.The only signs of life were the patrol guards sweating in tailored suits, their sunglasses probably like mirrors hiding judgments they didn’t dare voice.I respond to the

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Calvin

    ~ CALVIN ~“I have dyslexia.”The words hit harder than a slap.I stand there, frozen, as those three words echo in my head over and over again—louder than the rushing blood in my ears, louder than anything else.I have dyslexia.Fuck.How didn’t I see it? The missed words, the awkward pauses when he read aloud, the sudden bursts of frustration when we studied… It all makes sense now. And I thought he was just being lazy, or stubborn, or—God, I was such an asshole.He wasn’t ignoring the work. He was fighting a silent battle I didn’t even bother to notice. And now I feel like shit.He told me like a weapon. Like a secret he'd hidden for so long, only to use it now to hurt me. And the worst part? It worked. Because I deserve it.I still don’t move. My feet feel glued to the floor, and my chest feels… hollow. Like something just got yanked out of me and I didn’t even realize how much it mattered until it was gone. And this isn't about me wanting to fuck him, it's because Alistair Moran

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~ I can't keep running forever. And so, on the second day of my escape, Ray decided he'd had enough. He barged into my room like a goddamn hurricane and dragged me out. Now here I am, trudging toward our next lecture, his hand on my shoulder like he's the one in charge. Meanwhile, he’s rattling on about something, probably to get on my nerves even more. I couldn’t care less. My eyes are glued to the ground, and all I can think about is not running into him. Not him. Not Calvin. Please, not today. So, I whisper a silent prayer, though I’m not the praying type. I just want to make it through without having to face the mess I created. Ray grips my shoulder tightly and I turn to him slowly. “What?” He chuckles. “Your mind is not even here.” “And so?” “You still haven't told me why you didn't come to school for two days, bitch.” I roll my eyes inwardly. That's one of the problems about having one close friend that's good at reading energies. This fucker knew that I'v

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   A/N

    Hi Calistair's passengers! Basically, I have four 2 hours lectures today. I'm currently in 1 and I didn't stockpile chapters prior to today(my mistake). And I'm sorry to break it, but update will be very delayed today and I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you today by publishing 3 chapters after my lectures and a short nap but that will be until I get back to my hostel. Thank you so much for understanding. 💗

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I don't leave my room.Not for breakfast. Not for class. Not even when the fire alarm goes off in the hallway for two whole minutes before someone slams it back into silence.I'm curled up on my bed, face buried in the same damn pillow I screamed into last night. My body still aches in places it shouldn’t. My hole is sore. My throat burns. My brain is fried.And my fucking lips still tingle from his kiss. And I can still taste his cum in my mouth no matter how much toothpaste and mouthwash I'd gulped.Calvin.Calvin fucking Rutledge.The guy I hate. The fake nerd. The know-it-all. The smug academic coach I swore I’d never let get the best of me.He didn’t just get the best of me.He wrecked me.I drag a hand down my face, hard. If I could rip the memory from my skull and lobotomize myself with a spoon, I would. I want to forget. I need to forget.But I can’t.Every time I blink, I’m back there, tied up, blindfolded, trembling, begging like a fucking slut. And the worst pa

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair - T.W (dub.con×18+)

    ~ ALISTAIR ~ I shouldn't crave this pain but I couldn't hold back the moan that slips past my throat through my clenched teeth, my brain failing to register the familiarity in his hand. In his voice.“Please…” i whisper and I don't even know what I'm begging for. More or less?Should he stop because of the pain or should he continue because of the pleasure. I… don't know.Fuck.“Dirty boy.” He growls into my ear.I shiver when I feel his thumb swiping the tip of my cock which is leaking precum and his jerking shifts to focus more on the tip of my cock.“Fuck.” I curse, eye closed between the blindfold, thrashing within the binds, forcing in air through my mouth, sweat and tears trickling down my face.“I'm going to cum.” I grit out.“I won't let you.” He says, his voice low before he comes to a stop.Fucker.A sob claws at my throat, my chest heaving while I raise my hip, chasing the friction.“Please…” The words escape before I can stop it.I feel his hands on my lips, probing my tee

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair - T.W (dub.con)

    ~ ALISTAIR ~I didn’t know who walked in. That was the whole point.No names. No questions. Just darkness and heat and silence.Curiosity had driven me here—curiosity and something uglier, something I didn’t want to name. I told myself I just wanted to know what it felt like. That I’d apply for the dominant role later. That this wasn’t me giving in—it was me exploring.But the second his hands touched me, I knew I’d fucked up.Not because I didn’t like it. But because I did. Too much.He didn’t rush. Didn’t grope. Didn’t treat me like a plaything or a conquest. His fingers were deliberate. Reverent. I bite my lips as his finger grazes the tip of my hard cock, precum leaking into the trousers I was made to wear.“Say it. Say you want this.” He says, his voice unfamiliar.“I want this.” I gasp out. It's a lie.I didn’t want this.I needed it.I needed to stop thinking. Stop feeling. I needed to forget that my life was spiraling, that my father thought I was useless and he will think m

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Calvin

    ~ CALVIN ~La Debauché is nothing like the trash clubs frat boys sneak into. It's velvet shadows and whispered rules. It's power dressed in silence and control, the kind of place that makes sin feels sacred.Politicians, high ranking officials, sons of people in the higher-ups, bi-curious dudes, dudes like me, people that are married only as a façade. Name them, they are all here. As long as you are able to afford the expensive membership card and you are a regular customer, you already have a name in this exclusive gay club.I have a name here too.And this is my chessboard.The moment I saw the anonymous booking with the name, Moranorebel, I was a little confused.Can it be Brandon?No, can't probably be right?He doesn't know I frequent here and the type of vibe Brandon gives off doesn't include one that visits gay clubs with an Alias like this.Which means only one thing.Moranorebel.I laughed. Loud.That arrogant, conflicted, shame-drenched little hot shit. But the payment was

  • PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M)   Alistair

    ~ ALISTAIR ~ I’m having a sexuality crisis. It’s messing with my head. My fucking sanity. I'm not gay. I can't be. I'm just… confused. Or cursed. Probably both. I like girls. Tits are great. Fantastic, even. He just… kissed me first. I didn't even see it coming. Technically. And maybe I kissed back. But that’s adrenaline. Not attraction. Could’ve happened to anyone. Right? Right? Fuck. This isn't working anymore. I've tried so hard to tell myself what I want to believe but now, it's not working anymore. My fingers tug at my hair in frustration until pain shoots through my skull. Then, my eyes dart to my bed which had my laptop on it. But ignorance is bliss. I don't want to go down that path, it looks like the path of no return. Confusion gnaws at my insides again before I hop down the stool and hurry to my bed. A little research won't hurt right? I pull up the lid of my touchscreen laptop and slide it open, the ridiculously large fonts welcoming me. Then, I hop on Ch

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