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5. Alistair
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2025-03-10 05:35:32~ ALISTAIR ~
I squint my eyes, focusing hard on the words, trying to grasp them before they flicker and disappear before I can pin them down, my brain scrambling to make sense of them. Is it ‘from’ or ‘form’? ‘B’ or ‘D’? ‘Was’ or ‘saw’? The harder I try, the worse it gets. Like a cruel joke dumb me couldn't grasp. This is not helping. I have a secret. One that if let out will tarnish the family name. I'm dyslexic. The Moranos are supposed to be brilliant. Ruthless. Untouchable. A fucking legacy. But me? I'm the broken link in a perfect bloodline. The failure no one talks about. They saw it. They knew. But instead of helping me, they buried it like it was some shameful disease. Moranos don't need help from doctors for a weakness like this. They don't need help. They just… win. It runs in the blood. And if they can't… They pretend. Like me. I zoom the words in, adjusting my glasses on the bridge of my nose as I try to read the whole sentence while trying to push back a looming headache. Then, I lean against my backrest and dig my hand into my scalp, pulling hard. Maybe if I pull tight enough, the words will snap into place and I can force my brain into working like it's supposed to. But nothing happens. Nothing changes. I'm still the same pathetic kid who can't even fucking read right! The scream rips out of me before I can stop it as I pull my hair. They couldn't tell any doctor nor could they tell my class teachers. Sacrificing me to keep the family name from any stain is more than enough. So here I am, twenty-two years in, diagnosed with dyslexia on my solo-vacation to Mauritius, paid results all my life, tried so hard to read but keeps failing miserably, and now, I have to try to read about a hundred slides for a project. Good. Just good. I scream in frustration again before using my desk as a momentum to push myself back. At that moment, the door swings open. A head peeks in and my brows raise in confusion. It's father's head. His eyes land on me before he enters the room fully, clad in a deep blue suit. Don't be surprised. He wears suits as casual clothings. “I heard you screaming.” “Yes?” His eyes darted from my face to the tablet on my reading table. “Were you trying to read again?” I move my swivelling chair closer to my table and press the power button, shutting the screen. “You have a problem with that?” I snap, He sighs like I'm some petulant child throwing a tantrum. “You could have just told AI or Brandon to read it for you.” Like I'm not a grown man. I should be okay with someone spoon-feeding me words because I'm too fucking slow to read it myself. The worst part? I know he's right. I turn to him with a glare, angry. “You mean they would have the time to read an entire hundred pages to me just because you couldn't pay the lecturers and professors for my degree?” I ask incredulously, lips raised in irritation. He dusts invisible dirts on his pristine suit. “Unfortunately, the board had voted. A payment can't be made for the degree. You have to work for it just like your brother worked for his.” I pick up a textbook and hurl it at him as I spring to my feet. “Fuck you! You want me to work for it but you didn't arm me prior! You know what? I'm getting a doctor. I don't care anymore! I can't keep preferring calls over texts when it annoys the living—” “You wouldn't dare.” “I will!” “You wouldn't, Alistae.” He says with finality in his tone before he pulls the door to my room open. “And yeah, your mother is back with Asher now.” He adds, glancing at me over his shoulders before stepping out. My hands shake by my sides as I fall back to my seat, lips quivering. Asher is back. It's an underlying message. One I'm not supposed to know. Asher is back now… but with a PhD at twenty five. Meanwhile, I'm twenty-two, drowning in unread textbooks, pretending I'm not a lost fucking cause. But no matter how hard I try, it's not enough. I'll never be enough. No one said it sucks to be a middle child, stuck between an overachieving elder brother and a brilliant younger brother. Two golden sons. Asher is what a Morano should be. Brandon is already getting there. The only thing I excel at… is violence. And unfortunately, it can't help me in bagging my degree. Something has to change. I can't keep living like this. Calvin fucking Rutledge. The name slips into my mind like poison, corroding all my thoughts, leaving only one – desperation. My chest tightens just by thinking about him. If I ask him for help, it's like admitting I can't do this on my own. But if I don't, I will never get it done. Never. I press my palms into my eyes, trying to stop a looming headache before I double tap the screen of my tablet, checking the time. Then, I spring to my feet. I hate him. I hate how he stares at me like I'm nothing. But I fucking need this. He should be waiting at the library by now. But today, I'm not going for the project study sessions. I need to strike a deal. And if he tries to use it against me… I'll make him regret it.
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PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I shove my keys into my pocket, barely giving a second thought to the car door slamming behind me as my eyes dart around.The library's parking lot is quiet, almost too quiet. I can hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest as if reminding me that I'm here, doing this. Fucking hell.I'd told myself that I don't care. It’s just Rutledge, just some pathetic excuse for a nerd who thinks he’s better than me. But the tension in my gut disagrees.I need help I hate that I’m feeling this. It’s fucking ridiculous. But I’ll be damned if I let him see me sweat.As I march towards the library's entrance, I shove my hands into my pockets, clenching them into fists, trying to stop the tremor wracking through me. But the nerves won’t settle. They’re already building up for what’s next.I remind myself that Rutledge doesn’t know. He won’t know.He doesn’t deserve to know.And that's it.I didn't bother to sign in my name with the librarian and just made my way to the second floor. The
Last Updated : 2025-03-14PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~“Are we going to be doing it here?” He asks stupidly, his eyes darting around before he pulls out the chair opposite me and drops on it casually like he owns the place.“What better place than here?” I reply, not bothering to look up from my book.Right now, Morano and I are tucked in a secluded part of the library on the fourth floor - the last floor. This is the only place I could think of for our first coaching session. The place is too dusty and quiet but it's the best spot to keep nosy idiots out of my business. I'm not about to let Morano and his bad luck ruin my spotless reputation just because he's too dumb to keep up with his courses.He snickers as he pulls out a tablet and a stylus pen, like that's supposed to impress me or something.“You read with that?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. His straight black hair falls over his face and he smoothens it back, showing his straight aristocratic nose.He shoots me with a glare. “You got a problem with it?”“No.” I say cool
Last Updated : 2025-03-14PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I wait a few minutes before slinging my backpack over my shoulders and shoving my hands in my pockets, making my way down the stairs.That fucker should be gone by now.I descend the stairs, shoulders relaxed while I groan, trying not to think too much. Going back home feels like walking straight into a battleground as a reluctant warrior. But at least, the monsters here have smaller heads and they don't faze me.As soon as I step foot on the threshold of the stairs, I see a commotion unfolding before me.And not just any commotion. It was Rutledge getting his face pounded by the captain of the campus’ rugby team.For a second, I consider just walking past. Rutledge and I? We are enemies. Always have been even. I hate know-it-all nerds. I hate class acers.There's no point in admiring who or what you can't be.And Brandy? He's not exactly on my list of favourite people. But watching someone beat the shit out of that ungrateful fucker feels right. And now, fuck Brandy.He
Last Updated : 2025-03-15PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~I push the door open, my nose suddenly getting assaulted with the foul smell coming from inside. But I know it will only take a little time before I get accustomed to it. Again.My eyes land on the woman sitting on the couch, staring at the place the TV used to be before it was pawned off. My brows shoot up at her swollen face, my hands clenched into fists as I rush to her before bending down by the sofa near her “What the fuck mom?!” I snap through clenched teeth.She turns to me slowly with a dazed look in her vibrant green eyes which had lost their austere since when I was ten, her lips and face bruised. “Honey, you are back.” She whispers, staring through me as she rakes her fingers through my hair.I seeth. “Did he hit you again?”She sighs and turns away. “You don't need to worry about it Cal. I angered him. I should have just given him the money.”I stand up, seeing fucking red. That bastard hit mom again.“Where's he?!”“There's nothing you can do to him. Hitting
Last Updated : 2025-03-16PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~ You won't ever feel lonely if you surround yourself with crowds. And you won't feel like the four walls of your room are closing in on you if you do. There's a bonfire tonight. Not even an eclipse will be able to stop me. And when I say eclipse, I mean my father's men. Not that father or mother gave a shit before. I can go anywhere I want, bring as many orgies as I want to their house. That used to be the only way to get their useless attention before but not anymore. The only thing father ever cared about me was the media and how to hide my escapades from it. Everything I did was just labelled as a shortcoming - a stain on the perfect Morano reputation. And I don't give a fuck. I stopped giving it when I was twelve. “Are you sure they are going to come tonight?” Eva, my sidekick who thinks she's my girlfriend - I'll never use that label - asks as we walk towards my group of friends standing near some piles of wood, some smoking, some with booze in hand. “Of course
Last Updated : 2025-03-19PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~Today is a Friday, meaning? I have to finish whatever the fuck I want to do so I can cross paths with Morano before he proceeds to the field.Yesterday was something else. And I can't call it as sick. I can still feel his eyes on me and it amuses me. Yes, I hate Morano the most, and his friends too. Call me a hypocrite for hating them while still trying to slip under their radar. My reason for hating Morano is common enough right? I detest Jocks. Cocky jocks. Overprivileged cocky jocks who think they have the world at their feet and actually, Morano fits right into that category.What about now? I believe he's on a mission to make my three years of hardwork go down the drain because of his unavailability. Not today. Not again.I hurry toward an empty classroom at the faculty of social sciences and humanities —my faculty— keeping my gaze on my feet to reduce my imposing height. I'm too tall and it makes me stick out more than I want to. And most think of it as bad posture
Last Updated : 2025-03-19PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I can't believe I fucking allowed that fucker to do that.Wait, how did it even happen?Huh, maybe it was the alcohol Ray gave me this morning. But wait, it could be because I didn't sleep well last night and I'd to wake up early this morning too. My brain was mushy.Yes, it's stress. I was stressed. And I was trying to relieve myself with the MILF when he entered, so yeah, it's plausible.But a part of me isn't really having it.I fix my gaze on the chandelier which was adorned with glowing crystals that looms above my bed while I try to will my aching cock to stop embarrassing me.Jesusfuckingchrist.I'm straight!The way his fingers trace my cock… His??My lips pull up in irritation.I jerk off the bed and press my hard dick downward, willing the blood that had rushed to it to disperse but it wasn't having any of it.What the fuck do I do?I close my eyes, trying to think of a disgusting scene I'd witnessed. Yeah, the day Ray brought in a shawty and when she finished s
Last Updated : 2025-03-20PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~He’s slumped on a chair on the porch, his head tilted to the side. A half-empty bottle of booze propped against one of the legs of the chair.Was he waiting for me?I hope not.I sigh quietly, hands buried deeper into my pocket.Father is not the exact best person to first see especially after a long shift.His cap shields his face, and I curse under my breath as I walk past him, not sparing him another glance. Just a few more steps and I'll be in—However, he staggers to his feet just as I was about to cross the threshold.He was waiting for me. Unfortunately.“Oi, son.”I stiffen but I didn't stop. I give him a curt nod and make my way inside nonetheless. The foul smell attacks me, forcing me to swallow the bile rising up my throat. I force myself to get used to it. Again.He taps my arm as he take a swig from the bottle, his eyes appearing crinkled at the sides like he's amused.Father's a mess.I'd always hated booze. It tastes like piss.“You are so rude.” He slurs, mo
Last Updated : 2025-03-21
Latest chapter
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I don't go to class.I know Ray would be pissed—probably yap my ear off once he realized the seat he saved for me would stay empty.Instead, I head toward the faculty library.Don’t ask me why.I can’t read in there. The fonts in the textbooks are too damn small. The words blur together like ants on crack.So I just sat there.Staring into nothing.Replaying that scene over and over in my head until it all blurs into white noise.Then, I must’ve passed out. Thirty-two minutes later, I woke up with a stiff neck and a decision.I’d had enough.I grab my backpack and trudge out, the sunlight slicing through my thoughts as I head to the parking lot. Blast music at full volume the whole ride home, hoping to drown the noise in my head.Home is empty.And I don’t mean no-family-empty. I mean clinically sterile.The only signs of life were the patrol guards sweating in tailored suits, their sunglasses probably like mirrors hiding judgments they didn’t dare voice.I respond to the
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~“I have dyslexia.”The words hit harder than a slap.I stand there, frozen, as those three words echo in my head over and over again—louder than the rushing blood in my ears, louder than anything else.I have dyslexia.Fuck.How didn’t I see it? The missed words, the awkward pauses when he read aloud, the sudden bursts of frustration when we studied… It all makes sense now. And I thought he was just being lazy, or stubborn, or—God, I was such an asshole.He wasn’t ignoring the work. He was fighting a silent battle I didn’t even bother to notice. And now I feel like shit.He told me like a weapon. Like a secret he'd hidden for so long, only to use it now to hurt me. And the worst part? It worked. Because I deserve it.I still don’t move. My feet feel glued to the floor, and my chest feels… hollow. Like something just got yanked out of me and I didn’t even realize how much it mattered until it was gone. And this isn't about me wanting to fuck him, it's because Alistair Moran
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~ I can't keep running forever. And so, on the second day of my escape, Ray decided he'd had enough. He barged into my room like a goddamn hurricane and dragged me out. Now here I am, trudging toward our next lecture, his hand on my shoulder like he's the one in charge. Meanwhile, he’s rattling on about something, probably to get on my nerves even more. I couldn’t care less. My eyes are glued to the ground, and all I can think about is not running into him. Not him. Not Calvin. Please, not today. So, I whisper a silent prayer, though I’m not the praying type. I just want to make it through without having to face the mess I created. Ray grips my shoulder tightly and I turn to him slowly. “What?” He chuckles. “Your mind is not even here.” “And so?” “You still haven't told me why you didn't come to school for two days, bitch.” I roll my eyes inwardly. That's one of the problems about having one close friend that's good at reading energies. This fucker knew that I'v
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) A/N
Hi Calistair's passengers! Basically, I have four 2 hours lectures today. I'm currently in 1 and I didn't stockpile chapters prior to today(my mistake). And I'm sorry to break it, but update will be very delayed today and I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you today by publishing 3 chapters after my lectures and a short nap but that will be until I get back to my hostel. Thank you so much for understanding. 💗
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I don't leave my room.Not for breakfast. Not for class. Not even when the fire alarm goes off in the hallway for two whole minutes before someone slams it back into silence.I'm curled up on my bed, face buried in the same damn pillow I screamed into last night. My body still aches in places it shouldn’t. My hole is sore. My throat burns. My brain is fried.And my fucking lips still tingle from his kiss. And I can still taste his cum in my mouth no matter how much toothpaste and mouthwash I'd gulped.Calvin.Calvin fucking Rutledge.The guy I hate. The fake nerd. The know-it-all. The smug academic coach I swore I’d never let get the best of me.He didn’t just get the best of me.He wrecked me.I drag a hand down my face, hard. If I could rip the memory from my skull and lobotomize myself with a spoon, I would. I want to forget. I need to forget.But I can’t.Every time I blink, I’m back there, tied up, blindfolded, trembling, begging like a fucking slut. And the worst pa
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair - T.W (dub.con×18+)
~ ALISTAIR ~ I shouldn't crave this pain but I couldn't hold back the moan that slips past my throat through my clenched teeth, my brain failing to register the familiarity in his hand. In his voice.“Please…” i whisper and I don't even know what I'm begging for. More or less?Should he stop because of the pain or should he continue because of the pleasure. I… don't know.Fuck.“Dirty boy.” He growls into my ear.I shiver when I feel his thumb swiping the tip of my cock which is leaking precum and his jerking shifts to focus more on the tip of my cock.“Fuck.” I curse, eye closed between the blindfold, thrashing within the binds, forcing in air through my mouth, sweat and tears trickling down my face.“I'm going to cum.” I grit out.“I won't let you.” He says, his voice low before he comes to a stop.Fucker.A sob claws at my throat, my chest heaving while I raise my hip, chasing the friction.“Please…” The words escape before I can stop it.I feel his hands on my lips, probing my tee
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair - T.W (dub.con)
~ ALISTAIR ~I didn’t know who walked in. That was the whole point.No names. No questions. Just darkness and heat and silence.Curiosity had driven me here—curiosity and something uglier, something I didn’t want to name. I told myself I just wanted to know what it felt like. That I’d apply for the dominant role later. That this wasn’t me giving in—it was me exploring.But the second his hands touched me, I knew I’d fucked up.Not because I didn’t like it. But because I did. Too much.He didn’t rush. Didn’t grope. Didn’t treat me like a plaything or a conquest. His fingers were deliberate. Reverent. I bite my lips as his finger grazes the tip of my hard cock, precum leaking into the trousers I was made to wear.“Say it. Say you want this.” He says, his voice unfamiliar.“I want this.” I gasp out. It's a lie.I didn’t want this.I needed it.I needed to stop thinking. Stop feeling. I needed to forget that my life was spiraling, that my father thought I was useless and he will think m
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~La Debauché is nothing like the trash clubs frat boys sneak into. It's velvet shadows and whispered rules. It's power dressed in silence and control, the kind of place that makes sin feels sacred.Politicians, high ranking officials, sons of people in the higher-ups, bi-curious dudes, dudes like me, people that are married only as a façade. Name them, they are all here. As long as you are able to afford the expensive membership card and you are a regular customer, you already have a name in this exclusive gay club.I have a name here too.And this is my chessboard.The moment I saw the anonymous booking with the name, Moranorebel, I was a little confused.Can it be Brandon?No, can't probably be right?He doesn't know I frequent here and the type of vibe Brandon gives off doesn't include one that visits gay clubs with an Alias like this.Which means only one thing.Moranorebel.I laughed. Loud.That arrogant, conflicted, shame-drenched little hot shit. But the payment was
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~ I’m having a sexuality crisis. It’s messing with my head. My fucking sanity. I'm not gay. I can't be. I'm just… confused. Or cursed. Probably both. I like girls. Tits are great. Fantastic, even. He just… kissed me first. I didn't even see it coming. Technically. And maybe I kissed back. But that’s adrenaline. Not attraction. Could’ve happened to anyone. Right? Right? Fuck. This isn't working anymore. I've tried so hard to tell myself what I want to believe but now, it's not working anymore. My fingers tug at my hair in frustration until pain shoots through my skull. Then, my eyes dart to my bed which had my laptop on it. But ignorance is bliss. I don't want to go down that path, it looks like the path of no return. Confusion gnaws at my insides again before I hop down the stool and hurry to my bed. A little research won't hurt right? I pull up the lid of my touchscreen laptop and slide it open, the ridiculously large fonts welcoming me. Then, I hop on Ch
