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5. Alistair
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2025-03-10 05:35:32~ ALISTAIR ~
I squint my eyes, focusing hard on the words, trying to grasp them before they flicker and disappear before I can pin them down, my brain scrambling to make sense of them. Is it ‘from’ or ‘form’? ‘B’ or ‘D’? ‘Was’ or ‘saw’? The harder I try, the worse it gets. Like a cruel joke dumb me couldn't grasp. This is not helping. I have a secret. One that if let out will tarnish the family name. I'm dyslexic. The Moranos are supposed to be brilliant. Ruthless. Untouchable. A fucking legacy. But me? I'm the broken link in a perfect bloodline. The failure no one talks about. They saw it. They knew. But instead of helping me, they buried it like it was some shameful disease. Moranos don't need help from doctors for a weakness like this. They don't need help. They just… win. It runs in the blood. And if they can't… They pretend. Like me. I zoom the words in, adjusting my glasses on the bridge of my nose as I try to read the whole sentence while trying to push back a looming headache. Then, I lean against my backrest and dig my hand into my scalp, pulling hard. Maybe if I pull tight enough, the words will snap into place and I can force my brain into working like it's supposed to. But nothing happens. Nothing changes. I'm still the same pathetic kid who can't even fucking read right! The scream rips out of me before I can stop it as I pull my hair. They couldn't tell any doctor nor could they tell my class teachers. Sacrificing me to keep the family name from any stain is more than enough. So here I am, twenty-two years in, diagnosed with dyslexia on my solo-vacation to Mauritius, paid results all my life, tried so hard to read but keeps failing miserably, and now, I have to try to read about a hundred slides for a project. Good. Just good. I scream in frustration again before using my desk as a momentum to push myself back. At that moment, the door swings open. A head peeks in and my brows raise in confusion. It's father's head. His eyes land on me before he enters the room fully, clad in a deep blue suit. Don't be surprised. He wears suits as casual clothings. “I heard you screaming.” “Yes?” His eyes darted from my face to the tablet on my reading table. “Were you trying to read again?” I move my swivelling chair closer to my table and press the power button, shutting the screen. “You have a problem with that?” I snap, He sighs like I'm some petulant child throwing a tantrum. “You could have just told AI or Brandon to read it for you.” Like I'm not a grown man. I should be okay with someone spoon-feeding me words because I'm too fucking slow to read it myself. The worst part? I know he's right. I turn to him with a glare, angry. “You mean they would have the time to read an entire hundred pages to me just because you couldn't pay the lecturers and professors for my degree?” I ask incredulously, lips raised in irritation. He dusts invisible dirts on his pristine suit. “Unfortunately, the board had voted. A payment can't be made for the degree. You have to work for it just like your brother worked for his.” I pick up a textbook and hurl it at him as I spring to my feet. “Fuck you! You want me to work for it but you didn't arm me prior! You know what? I'm getting a doctor. I don't care anymore! I can't keep preferring calls over texts when it annoys the living—” “You wouldn't dare.” “I will!” “You wouldn't, Alistae.” He says with finality in his tone before he pulls the door to my room open. “And yeah, your mother is back with Asher now.” He adds, glancing at me over his shoulders before stepping out. My hands shake by my sides as I fall back to my seat, lips quivering. Asher is back. It's an underlying message. One I'm not supposed to know. Asher is back now… but with a PhD at twenty five. Meanwhile, I'm twenty-two, drowning in unread textbooks, pretending I'm not a lost fucking cause. But no matter how hard I try, it's not enough. I'll never be enough. No one said it sucks to be a middle child, stuck between an overachieving elder brother and a brilliant younger brother. Two golden sons. Asher is what a Morano should be. Brandon is already getting there. The only thing I excel at… is violence. And unfortunately, it can't help me in bagging my degree. Something has to change. I can't keep living like this. Calvin fucking Rutledge. The name slips into my mind like poison, corroding all my thoughts, leaving only one – desperation. My chest tightens just by thinking about him. If I ask him for help, it's like admitting I can't do this on my own. But if I don't, I will never get it done. Never. I press my palms into my eyes, trying to stop a looming headache before I double tap the screen of my tablet, checking the time. Then, I spring to my feet. I hate him. I hate how he stares at me like I'm nothing. But I fucking need this. He should be waiting at the library by now. But today, I'm not going for the project study sessions. I need to strike a deal. And if he tries to use it against me… I'll make him regret it.
Bab terkait
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I shove my keys into my pocket, barely giving a second thought to the car door slamming behind me as my eyes dart around.The library's parking lot is quiet, almost too quiet. I can hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest as if reminding me that I'm here, doing this. Fucking hell.I'd told myself that I don't care. It’s just Rutledge, just some pathetic excuse for a nerd who thinks he’s better than me. But the tension in my gut disagrees.I need help I hate that I’m feeling this. It’s fucking ridiculous. But I’ll be damned if I let him see me sweat.As I march towards the library's entrance, I shove my hands into my pockets, clenching them into fists, trying to stop the tremor wracking through me. But the nerves won’t settle. They’re already building up for what’s next.I remind myself that Rutledge doesn’t know. He won’t know.He doesn’t deserve to know.And that's it.I didn't bother to sign in my name with the librarian and just made my way to the second floor. The
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-14PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~“Are we going to be doing it here?” He asks stupidly, his eyes darting around before he pulls out the chair opposite me and drops on it casually like he owns the place.“What better place than here?” I reply, not bothering to look up from my book.Right now, Morano and I are tucked in a secluded part of the library on the fourth floor - the last floor. This is the only place I could think of for our first coaching session. The place is too dusty and quiet but it's the best spot to keep nosy idiots out of my business. I'm not about to let Morano and his bad luck ruin my spotless reputation just because he's too dumb to keep up with his courses.He snickers as he pulls out a tablet and a stylus pen, like that's supposed to impress me or something.“You read with that?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. His straight black hair falls over his face and he smoothens it back, showing his straight aristocratic nose.He shoots me with a glare. “You got a problem with it?”“No.” I say cool
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-14PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I wait a few minutes before slinging my backpack over my shoulders and shoving my hands in my pockets, making my way down the stairs.That fucker should be gone by now.I descend the stairs, shoulders relaxed while I groan, trying not to think too much. Going back home feels like walking straight into a battleground as a reluctant warrior. But at least, the monsters here have smaller heads and they don't faze me.As soon as I step foot on the threshold of the stairs, I see a commotion unfolding before me.And not just any commotion. It was Rutledge getting his face pounded by the captain of the campus’ rugby team.For a second, I consider just walking past. Rutledge and I? We are enemies. Always have been even. I hate know-it-all nerds. I hate class acers.There's no point in admiring who or what you can't be.And Brandy? He's not exactly on my list of favourite people. But watching someone beat the shit out of that ungrateful fucker feels right. And now, fuck Brandy.He
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-15PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~I push the door open, my nose suddenly getting assaulted with the foul smell coming from inside. But I know it will only take a little time before I get accustomed to it. Again.My eyes land on the woman sitting on the couch, staring at the place the TV used to be before it was pawned off. My brows shoot up at her swollen face, my hands clenched into fists as I rush to her before bending down by the sofa near her “What the fuck mom?!” I snap through clenched teeth.She turns to me slowly with a dazed look in her vibrant green eyes which had lost their austere since when I was ten, her lips and face bruised. “Honey, you are back.” She whispers, staring through me as she rakes her fingers through my hair.I seeth. “Did he hit you again?”She sighs and turns away. “You don't need to worry about it Cal. I angered him. I should have just given him the money.”I stand up, seeing fucking red. That bastard hit mom again.“Where's he?!”“There's nothing you can do to him. Hitting
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-16PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 1. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~Bait.Wait.Strike.As soon as we step foot into the locker room with me leading the line, I turn and yank Gunner by the collar before descending on him and throwing a punch to his stupidly sweaty face.I can feel hands trying to yank me off his miserable body but I hold still, transgressing my anger on him.“What the fuck, Tae!” I hear my teammates gasp as they try to pull me off him. But I wasn't having any of it as I leaned my weight on my knee which was pressed deep into Gunner's stomach while he grunted as if he was about to vomit the water he'd drank on the field.He should vomit the fucking thing.I throw punch after punch to his disgusting face, cutting off his fruitless attempts to hit me back until he's a gasping bloody mess below me. That's when I finally yielded to the yanks, chest heaving.“Won't you consider my offer to visit an anger management class?”My head snaps to Ray who'd spoken, gritting my teeth.“Bastard.”Then, I turn and match deeper into the lo
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-09PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 2. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I hate most Mondays.Especially the Mondays in which I have a 9am lecture. Unfortunately, I hate all Mondays this semester. I have 9am lectures throughout.And escaping is not even an option. Comes with the entire final year shit package.I adjust my leather jacket before grabbing my backpack and my key. And I mentally let out a sigh of relief when I step out of the now empty house.Everyone's gone, more to my advantage.I start my car and speed off to one of the banes of my existence… school. Some minutes later, I pull up into the lecture hall's parking lot before stepping out of my car and slinging my backpack over my shoulder.Outside is almost empty and the last bit of students are already disappearing through the double doors. Looks like I'm the last one. Again.With a shrug, I make my way into the hall. I walk for a few minutes before pushing open the second door of the lecture room.A grunt tears through my throat as Professor Wilson's eyes lands on me as soon as
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-09PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 3. Calvin
~ CALVIN ~As soon as I step foot into the façade of a manor, the smell of cigarettes pierces my nostrils. I groan, tugging my hoody over my head as I try to walk without being noticed.But yikes!His eyes land on me the moment I step in.Father smiles, showcasing his brownish teeth and the cigarette dangling between his lips.“Welcome son.” I nod, not in the mood to keep the conversation going. I want to scream at him again, want to warn him. But no, he never listens. How can someone diagnosed with chronic kidney failure continue to take substances that have caused it? You know what? Fuck this shit.“How was school?” He asks again and I turn to him, brows raised.“What do you want, father?”He chuckles, swatting the air as he blows the poisonous smoke into the air and I hold my breath. “It's just that the money you brought has finished. I would like to have another one. Oh, and your mother’s too, she told me she'd not eaten.”Knowing him, he probably forced her to hand over her mone
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-10PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 4. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~ “Ali, did you see the message sent to the main group?” Ray asks as we walk to the field, side by side.I chew the insides of my mouth as I grip my bag tighter.“Umm no, what's it about?”His eyes dart around us at the people passing and he lowers his head, peering up at me as we continue walking. “People are here.” He says in a hushed tone and tilts his chin to my phone which was in my hand. “Be fast and check.”I glance at my phone's screen, the message notification glaring at me. My thumb hovers over it, but the words are already starting to blur together letters shifting before my eyes.Fuck. Not now. Not here.Shaking my head, I drop my hand. “I will check it later. I'm not wearing my glasses.” I lied. “You can tell me when we reach the locker room.” “Well…” He shrugs casually as we continue walking.I have a secret.One that I can't afford other people knowing so as not to tarnish the Morano name. Father's words not mine.I adjust my sunglasses as we finally cross
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-03-10
Bab terbaru
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~I push the door open, my nose suddenly getting assaulted with the foul smell coming from inside. But I know it will only take a little time before I get accustomed to it. Again.My eyes land on the woman sitting on the couch, staring at the place the TV used to be before it was pawned off. My brows shoot up at her swollen face, my hands clenched into fists as I rush to her before bending down by the sofa near her “What the fuck mom?!” I snap through clenched teeth.She turns to me slowly with a dazed look in her vibrant green eyes which had lost their austere since when I was ten, her lips and face bruised. “Honey, you are back.” She whispers, staring through me as she rakes her fingers through my hair.I seeth. “Did he hit you again?”She sighs and turns away. “You don't need to worry about it Cal. I angered him. I should have just given him the money.”I stand up, seeing fucking red. That bastard hit mom again.“Where's he?!”“There's nothing you can do to him. Hitting
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I wait a few minutes before slinging my backpack over my shoulders and shoving my hands in my pockets, making my way down the stairs.That fucker should be gone by now.I descend the stairs, shoulders relaxed while I groan, trying not to think too much. Going back home feels like walking straight into a battleground as a reluctant warrior. But at least, the monsters here have smaller heads and they don't faze me.As soon as I step foot on the threshold of the stairs, I see a commotion unfolding before me.And not just any commotion. It was Rutledge getting his face pounded by the captain of the campus’ rugby team.For a second, I consider just walking past. Rutledge and I? We are enemies. Always have been even. I hate know-it-all nerds. I hate class acers.There's no point in admiring who or what you can't be.And Brandy? He's not exactly on my list of favourite people. But watching someone beat the shit out of that ungrateful fucker feels right. And now, fuck Brandy.He
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Calvin
~ CALVIN ~“Are we going to be doing it here?” He asks stupidly, his eyes darting around before he pulls out the chair opposite me and drops on it casually like he owns the place.“What better place than here?” I reply, not bothering to look up from my book.Right now, Morano and I are tucked in a secluded part of the library on the fourth floor - the last floor. This is the only place I could think of for our first coaching session. The place is too dusty and quiet but it's the best spot to keep nosy idiots out of my business. I'm not about to let Morano and his bad luck ruin my spotless reputation just because he's too dumb to keep up with his courses.He snickers as he pulls out a tablet and a stylus pen, like that's supposed to impress me or something.“You read with that?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. His straight black hair falls over his face and he smoothens it back, showing his straight aristocratic nose.He shoots me with a glare. “You got a problem with it?”“No.” I say cool
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I shove my keys into my pocket, barely giving a second thought to the car door slamming behind me as my eyes dart around.The library's parking lot is quiet, almost too quiet. I can hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest as if reminding me that I'm here, doing this. Fucking hell.I'd told myself that I don't care. It’s just Rutledge, just some pathetic excuse for a nerd who thinks he’s better than me. But the tension in my gut disagrees.I need help I hate that I’m feeling this. It’s fucking ridiculous. But I’ll be damned if I let him see me sweat.As I march towards the library's entrance, I shove my hands into my pockets, clenching them into fists, trying to stop the tremor wracking through me. But the nerves won’t settle. They’re already building up for what’s next.I remind myself that Rutledge doesn’t know. He won’t know.He doesn’t deserve to know.And that's it.I didn't bother to sign in my name with the librarian and just made my way to the second floor. The
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 5. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I squint my eyes, focusing hard on the words, trying to grasp them before they flicker and disappear before I can pin them down, my brain scrambling to make sense of them.Is it ‘from’ or ‘form’? ‘B’ or ‘D’? ‘Was’ or ‘saw’? The harder I try, the worse it gets. Like a cruel joke dumb me couldn't grasp.This is not helping.I have a secret. One that if let out will tarnish the family name. I'm dyslexic.The Moranos are supposed to be brilliant. Ruthless. Untouchable. A fucking legacy.But me?I'm the broken link in a perfect bloodline. The failure no one talks about.They saw it. They knew. But instead of helping me, they buried it like it was some shameful disease. Moranos don't need help from doctors for a weakness like this. They don't need help. They just… win. It runs in the blood. And if they can't… They pretend.Like me.I zoom the words in, adjusting my glasses on the bridge of my nose as I try to read the whole sentence while trying to push back a looming headache
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 4. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~ “Ali, did you see the message sent to the main group?” Ray asks as we walk to the field, side by side.I chew the insides of my mouth as I grip my bag tighter.“Umm no, what's it about?”His eyes dart around us at the people passing and he lowers his head, peering up at me as we continue walking. “People are here.” He says in a hushed tone and tilts his chin to my phone which was in my hand. “Be fast and check.”I glance at my phone's screen, the message notification glaring at me. My thumb hovers over it, but the words are already starting to blur together letters shifting before my eyes.Fuck. Not now. Not here.Shaking my head, I drop my hand. “I will check it later. I'm not wearing my glasses.” I lied. “You can tell me when we reach the locker room.” “Well…” He shrugs casually as we continue walking.I have a secret.One that I can't afford other people knowing so as not to tarnish the Morano name. Father's words not mine.I adjust my sunglasses as we finally cross
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 3. Calvin
~ CALVIN ~As soon as I step foot into the façade of a manor, the smell of cigarettes pierces my nostrils. I groan, tugging my hoody over my head as I try to walk without being noticed.But yikes!His eyes land on me the moment I step in.Father smiles, showcasing his brownish teeth and the cigarette dangling between his lips.“Welcome son.” I nod, not in the mood to keep the conversation going. I want to scream at him again, want to warn him. But no, he never listens. How can someone diagnosed with chronic kidney failure continue to take substances that have caused it? You know what? Fuck this shit.“How was school?” He asks again and I turn to him, brows raised.“What do you want, father?”He chuckles, swatting the air as he blows the poisonous smoke into the air and I hold my breath. “It's just that the money you brought has finished. I would like to have another one. Oh, and your mother’s too, she told me she'd not eaten.”Knowing him, he probably forced her to hand over her mone
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 2. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~I hate most Mondays.Especially the Mondays in which I have a 9am lecture. Unfortunately, I hate all Mondays this semester. I have 9am lectures throughout.And escaping is not even an option. Comes with the entire final year shit package.I adjust my leather jacket before grabbing my backpack and my key. And I mentally let out a sigh of relief when I step out of the now empty house.Everyone's gone, more to my advantage.I start my car and speed off to one of the banes of my existence… school. Some minutes later, I pull up into the lecture hall's parking lot before stepping out of my car and slinging my backpack over my shoulder.Outside is almost empty and the last bit of students are already disappearing through the double doors. Looks like I'm the last one. Again.With a shrug, I make my way into the hall. I walk for a few minutes before pushing open the second door of the lecture room.A grunt tears through my throat as Professor Wilson's eyes lands on me as soon as
PLAYING THE PLAYER (M×M) 1. Alistair
~ ALISTAIR ~Bait.Wait.Strike.As soon as we step foot into the locker room with me leading the line, I turn and yank Gunner by the collar before descending on him and throwing a punch to his stupidly sweaty face.I can feel hands trying to yank me off his miserable body but I hold still, transgressing my anger on him.“What the fuck, Tae!” I hear my teammates gasp as they try to pull me off him. But I wasn't having any of it as I leaned my weight on my knee which was pressed deep into Gunner's stomach while he grunted as if he was about to vomit the water he'd drank on the field.He should vomit the fucking thing.I throw punch after punch to his disgusting face, cutting off his fruitless attempts to hit me back until he's a gasping bloody mess below me. That's when I finally yielded to the yanks, chest heaving.“Won't you consider my offer to visit an anger management class?”My head snaps to Ray who'd spoken, gritting my teeth.“Bastard.”Then, I turn and match deeper into the lo
