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Our Secret Baby
Our Secret Baby
Author: Danny Walker

1

Author: Danny Walker
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

“How Long Were You Going To Wait Before Telling Me?” He Demanded, His Voice Like Velvet Over Steel.

She decided to try to bluff him out, then abruptly changed tack, choosing to attack him on his own terms. “I could ask you the same thing. How long were you going to wait before telling me you’d bought this building? I never stood a chance to buy out, did I?”

 

“You would have known in good time, Blair. Now, it is not like you to be unwell, and I assume it can be due to only one thing. So, I will ask you again. How long were you going to wait before telling me you were pregnant?”

 

“Until never!” “Wrong answer.”

He covered the short distance between them in the blink of an eye. One arm curved around her back, holding her captive against his body. And darn it, her body responded instantly to his touch...

“You were comfort sex. Nothing more.”

At least that was all she’d ever let him be. Blair maintained eye contact with Draco Sandrelli and prayed he’d leave before she did something stupid—like faint or throw up all over his highly polished handmade boots. Her stomach, which had been unsettled since breakfast, clenched in a completely different way as he flashed a smile at her, the one he’d used just before they’d tumbled into bed together for the first time.

 

“Cara mia, you know I am so much more than that.”

His voice dripped sensuality, its sound sending a shimmer of heat through her. She still woke in the night remembering the sound of him, as rich as the rolling timbre of distant thunder on an electrically charged, storm-tossed evening. And worse, remembering the feel of him, the sensation of his body against hers— inside hers. She fought back the small sound that rose in her throat—a sound driven by the heat that suffused her body and insinuated itself along her nerve endings in curling tendrils of desire.

 

The gold flecks in Draco’s green eyes glinted as he watched her reaction. For someone she’d barely met, he seemed able to read her like a book. A tiny smile played around the sensual curve of his lips. He hadn’t even forgone his usual designer stubble for today’s memorial service, although he’d slicked back his glossy dark hair off his almost too perfect face, its length finishing in a ducktail at his nape. On any other man the style would look ridiculous, but on Draco… Blair swallowed against the sudden dryness in her mouth.

 

Really, for a man he was too beautiful to be classed as handsome, but despite her reasoning her pulse still raced to a tribal beat.

 

“Have dinner with me tonight,” he coaxed.

“No. No way. I mean it, Draco. Call what we had a holiday fling, whatever.

It’s not happening again. I’m home now and back at work. Which reminds me, I have things to attend to and I’m sure you do too.”

 

No matter what, she wasn’t going to ask him what he was doing here. After all, what were the odds that her un-characteristic holiday indulgence would turn up at Ashurst Collegiate today? Especially at the memorial reception she’d agreed to do as a favor for one of her dad’s oldest friends. As tempting as it was to indulge in another forbidden delight with the sole heir to the Sandrelli empire, Blair had more important things on her mind.

 

She summoned every ounce of self-control in her arsenal and, tipping her nose ever so slightly in the air, spun on her heel and stalked away.

 

She sensed, rather than heard, the moment he decided to follow her—the fine hairs on the back of her neck prickling to attention. Blair increased her pace, turned a corner in the corridor and slipped through the doorway leading into the voluminous kitchen off Jubilee Hall, where the reception was being held. She flattened herself against the wall and fought to control her hammering heartbeat, hoping like mad he hadn’t seen her duck in here.

 

Even her hands were trembling, she realized. She hadn’t been this upset since she’d caught her fiancé, Rhys, and her best friend, Alicia, in the wine cellar of the converted villa that housed Carson’s, her restaurant. The pain of losing the man she’d planned her future with to the friend who was supposed to have stood beside her in the church only a few days later had been unspeakable. Their joint betrayal still stung with the sharpness of a stingray’s barb.

 

It was what had led her to her flight to Italy and tour of Tuscany, and ultimately to Draco Sandrelli, where she’d promptly fallen under his seductive spell.

 

Yes, he was comfort sex all right. Totally addictive, mind-blowingly generous comfort sex. And just what she’d needed to rebuild her flagging self-esteem.

Nothing more.

 

She shoved herself off the wall and carried on through the kitchen, mentally checking off what she needed to do before returning to Carson’s and preparing

for her night’s clientele. She was relieved to see her personal tools of the trade had been neatly packed back into the case she’d brought them in—a quick check ensured everything was where it should be. There was nothing further for her to do. The casual crew she’d hired to work the reception would complete the cleanup and return the crockery to the restaurant in a couple of hours’ time.

 

Blair smoothed her hands over her uniform, the tailored, crisp short-sleeved white blouse and black skirt which neatly hugged her slim hips, drawing strength from the familiarity of its texture.

 

She hitched the box against her hip and carried it through the kitchen to the back door and walked around on the graveled drive to where she’d parked her station wagon. She eyed the paint work on her old workhorse with a critical eye. If she hadn’t taken the trip to Tuscany she could have replaced old Gertie here with a new vehicle. But if she’d done that she would have remained a victim to Rhys and Alicia’s perfidy, instead of learning more about the woman she could be. About the woman she had been.

 

And it had been that very discovery that had taught Blair she couldn’t have it all. She wasn’t the kind of person who could develop an award-winning business and be a devoted life partner to anyone. No. She was happy with her decision.

Work would be her life for now. And as for Draco, well, everyone was entitled to a “Draco” in their life at one time or another, she rationalized. The intensity of their affair had burned so bright and fierce, it would have totally consumed her had she stayed any longer with him. That one certain truth had made her put everything into perspective. She’d seen it happen to her father over and over, each time destroying his inner self a little more, and she’d sworn she would never succumb to such obsession.

 

Her wake-up call had come one morning as she’d stirred in Draco’s arms, their sheets in a tangle about their naked, sated bodies, and she realized that she hadn’t so much as thought about Carson’s in three whole days. The realization was sobering. She’d embraced her affair with Draco with the level of passion she usually reserved solely for her work.

 

No, there definitely wasn’t room for both a grand love and a career in her life.

Her work was everything. Its success was what defined her, not something as ephemeral as physical attraction between consenting adults.

Blair had risen from their bed and packed immediately, turning a deaf ear to Draco’s enticement to stay longer. As sinfully delightful as her time with Draco had been, it wasn’t the kind of temptation one could build a future on. There was no security in incendiary attraction. She knew that from both her father’s painful past and her own.

 

There was only one thing she wanted right now, and that was to see Carson’s make the five-star review page of Fine Dining magazine. It had been her father’s dream, until ill health had forced him to hand the reins of the restaurant over to Blair as he reluctantly settled into early retirement. Now it was her dream. One she thought she’d achieve with Rhys and Alicia by her side. But she could do it on her own. Carson’s would become Auckland’s leading restaurant. And she’d forget all about Draco Sandrelli.

 

Draco hesitated outside the door to the kitchen. He’d prowled the corridor in frustration, after finding no sign of Blair. She had to be in here. Unconsciously, he straightened his shoulders. They needed to talk and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. When Blair had left his bed that morning he had been prepared to move mountains to get her to stay. It had only been the urgent call to his parents’ home, situated a few kilometers away within the Sandrelli estate, that had stopped him. Of course, by the time he’d returned from his father’s sickbed, Blair had left the palazzo, leaving no forwarding address.

 

Seeing her here today had taken him by surprise, but he wasn’t the kind of man who looked a gift horse in the mouth. This was a second chance. The magnetism between them had been instant, and he knew better than most that that kind of draw did not happen between couples every lifetime. Too many people settled for what was expected of them—for second best. He’d done that very thing once, out of honor and respect for his family and his dead brother, but the result had been catastrophic. He would not do that again.

 

The attraction was too fierce.

 

He settled his hand on the swing door into the kitchen and entered just in time to see Blair exiting at the far end of the room. Draco’s strides ate up the distance between them and he burst through the back entrance just as Blair loaded a case into the back of the barely roadworthy vehicle in front of her.

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  • Our Secret Baby   2

    “Blair.”“I’ve said all I have to say, Draco,” she sighed, as she unlocked the driver’s door and slid in behind the wheel.Draco stopped her as she tried to swing her door shut.“Ah yes, but you haven’t listened yet to what I have to say.” “To be frank, I’m really not interested in what you have to say.”She tried to wrestle the door closed, and gave up with an angry huff of air when that proved impossible. She crossed her arms defensively over her stomach and stared fixedly out the windshield.“What’s the matter, Draco, can’t you tolerate someone turning you down?Granted, I’m sure it probably hasn’t happened often in your lifetime, but surely you can get used to it just this once,” she snapped.He smiled in response to her rancor. She sounded like a spitting kitten all in a temper.“I just want to talk. You left so suddenly. We never had a chance to say good- bye properly.”Draco noticed that that elicited a response. Through the thin cotton of her blouse he saw the instant her ni

  • Our Secret Baby   3

    “He’s here again. That makes it seven nights in a row, sweetie.” Gustav, Blair’s blatantly gay headwaiter smiled and raised one brow as he brought the new order to the kitchen.Blair’s knife slipped and clattered on the chopping board, narrowly missing her fingertip. She drew in a leveling breath. Draco had turned up to take a single table each night since the memorial service. He was later than usual tonight, and the anticipation of waiting and wondering whether he’d arrive, or whether he’d returned to Tuscany, had tied her stomach in knots. Her scattered attention, combined with one of her kitchen hands being off sick, had put them uncharacteristically behind schedule.Certainly not the behavior of an award-winning chef in an award-winning restaurant. Blair dragged her recalcitrant thoughts together. There was only one objective that could take priority in her mind, and Draco Sandrelli was not that objective.“What did he order?”She mentally crossed her fingers and hoped it was som

  • Our Secret Baby   4

    “And you’ve been busy. You look tired.” He reached across the table and brushed the pad of his thumb gently across the bluish tint to the skin beneath her eyes.She flinched, breaking the tenuous contact almost as soon as it had begun. “It’s all good. It’s what I want.”Ah, here it came. Her not-so-subtle wall of defense.“But everyone needs some respite in their life from time to time. Tell me, cara mia, what do you do to unwind—to relax?”“I’ve just come back from holiday, Draco. I don’t need to relax.”He snorted inelegantly. “Holiday? Blair, you worked your way through that culinary tour. You can hardly call that a holiday. Except for—”“Ah, here’s our port.” Blair interrupted him again, taking the two cut-crystal glasses from the silver tray Gustav held in one hand and dismissing him with a look. “Here, salute!”Draco accepted the glass from her and set it down on the table in front of him. He could see straight through her. She thought if she could get him to drink his port, the

  • Our Secret Baby   5

    “I s it getting hot in here, or is it just you?” Gustav remarked, fanning himself theatrically, as Blair pushed through the kitchen doors and headed straight toward the back door.“Can it, Gus. You got what you wanted.”“Well, technically, no. But it sure looks like you’re going to. Way to go, Blair.It’s about time. And don’t worry about the restaurant. I’ll lock up.”Blair hesitated, her hand on the back door. “What do you mean, it’s about time?”“Well, you know. Since that whole business with Rhys and Alicia, it’s like all your enthusiasm for the place got sucked out of you.”Had she really been so transparent? Granted, the breakup with Rhys over his betrayal with Alicia and the subsequent legal battle over severing their employment had been draining, but she hadn’t for a minute thought she’d let that impact on her work, or the workplace.Gustav carried on. “Since you came back from Italy, it’s as if you have a new vibrancy about you, and it shows in your food and everything. Every

  • Our Secret Baby   6

    He lifted her slightly and withdrew from her body, letting her unhook her legs from his waist and slide them down to the ground. She was amazed she could even stand. Her skirt fluttered down around her thighs as she moved off the wall. Draco rearranged his clothing.“Come, I think we both need to shower after that. Let me take care of you.”Blair picked up her backpack and let him take her by the hand as he led her through the apartment. Floor-to-ceiling glass faced the inner harbor and Viaduct Basin. Light glittered off a myriad of buildings and luxury super-yachts and cruisers moored in the basin to reflect on the inky surface of the ocean. The vista was surreal. About as surreal as the fact she’d just allowed herself to be swept away by a sensual hunger she’d only barely begun to acknowledge.The master suite led off the living room, and beyond that, the master bathroom. Soft dove-gray walls softened the black-and-gray marble vanity tops and black-tiled floor. Blair placed her pack

  • Our Secret Baby   7

    B lair woke to the sound of Draco moving about the room. She kept her eyes closed and focused on keeping her breathing even. She didn’t want to face him. Not now. Not in the cold light of day. She’d agreed to one night, but, if she knew him, he’d want more. And he wouldn’t take no for an answer.She listened to the gentle slide of a drawer closing and then the soft sound of his bare feet on the thickly carpeted floor. She waited until the door to the bathroom was closed before opening her eyes. She wanted out of here, right now.Yes, they’d had the most spectacular night of lovemaking of her life, but Draco would never let it stop there. Men like him wanted more. Needed more. With his position back at home he was expected to marry, to raise a family. He could never do that with someone like Blair, and she didn’t want to be that someone anyway. She didn’t have that kind of person inside her to give.The failure with Rhys was categorical proof of that, and with her family track history—

  • Our Secret Baby   8

    The coffee in Blair’s mug left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. What was it about Blair and her father that they couldn’t find happiness in lasting love? She’d lost count of the failed relationships he’d embarked upon and then left during her childhood, let alone since her teenage years. They’d clung to one another many a time, secure in the knowledge that no matter how often others came and went they’d always have each other. Yet, would they? Blair felt increasingly vulnerable. A heart attack had forced Blair Sr. into early retirement. In fact, it had only been her taking over his dreams and vision for Carson’s that had seen him agree to withdrawing from the restaurant. He’d had to move out of Auckland as well, because he hadn’t been able to stay away, or out of the kitchen, when he’d remained in town. And while he’d been happy to cover for her during her Tuscan culinary tour—a trip that was supposed to have been her honeymoon—she could see how taxing it had be

  • Our Secret Baby   9

    T he next couple of weeks saw Blair take her creativity to new heights. After their nights of lovemaking, she expected to leave work each night drained. But instead, the opposite was true. She’d never been more invigorated in her life. She still suffered from the occasional recurrence of nausea or dizzy spell, no doubt still a hangover from the niggling stomach upset she’d had a few weeks ago, but overall she’d never felt better.Tonight the restaurant was humming, as it had for a while now. This week in particular had been crazy when Draco’s friendship with newly-engaged billionaire entrepreneur Brent Colby had been at the forefront of the gossip magazines. It seemed as if every aspect of Draco’s life was fodder for the papers, and by association, hers too.Reporters still hung around outside each night, but instead of the headlines reading things like “Is Carson’s Going Italian?” or “Italian Stallion on the Menu?” they were more focused on the increasing high number of local celebri

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  • Our Secret Baby   67

    EPILOGUE Deacon Getting Carys to fully believe in me didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped. And there was no formal discussion or announcement when things had finally crossed the barrier of trust. Our being back together happened slowly and organically. I spent every day for months showing her I wasn’t going anywhere, and taking the time to learn how to be a good partner to her and a father to Sunny. Because I’d put in the work, I finally reaped the rewards.In the five years since Carys entered my life, I’d learned many things, including the following, in no particular order.One: You can’t prove yourself with words, only actions.Two: You can’t choose who you love. It never mattered what I told myself about not getting into a relationship with Carys. From the moment we connected, I was destined to lose the battle with my brain.Three: Full freedom can’t be achieved until you forgive yourself. I finally so

  • Our Secret Baby   66

    CarysNAUGHTY GIRL The months since Deacon’s return had reminded me a lot of the early days of our relationship. He was there when I needed him but didn’t cross any boundaries. I knew he was being careful not to make assumptions about my readiness to let him back into my life.It all felt a little like déjà vu because Deacon had reverted back to being a good friend I desperately wanted to have sex with. But I hadn’t let myself go there yet. I kept waiting to feel a hundred-percent sure he would never hurt me again. But is it ever possible to be absolutely certain?One Saturday afternoon, Sharon called to tell me she had the day free if I wanted her to come spend a few hours with Sunny. She said she figured I might appreciate some time to myself. Never one to refuse unexpected help, I thanked her and said I would love to take her up on that.She arrived about an hour later. As I kissed Sunny goodbye and headed out the door, I re

  • Our Secret Baby   65

    DeaconHOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? You’ve heard the saying that life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon? Well, earning Carys’s trust back was more like a slow wade through an ocean. But it was worth it, even if not getting to reach out and touch her was downright painful. A month-and-a-half after I returned to New York, my relationship with Carys was slowly improving.One afternoon, as we sat in her living room drinking the coffees I’d brought over, I presented her with something I’d made back in Minnesota.I took it out of the small bag. “I forgot to give this to you. It’s for Sunny. I made it while I was home.”Carys smiled as she examined the pink hat. “You crocheted this?”“Yup. My grandmother was trying to get me out of her house, where I stayed half the time. She wanted to invite dirty old men over without my being there, but that’s a story for another day.” I laughed. “Anyway, she commissioned me to help her make hats

  • Our Secret Baby   64

    CarysJUST COFFEE Despite saying he’d give me time to ready myself, Deacon texted me a few days later to ask if I would be willing to meet him during my lunch break on one of the days I worked in the office. I said yes. We needed to have the conversation away from Sunny.I chose Friday, but instead of a lunch meet-up, I opted to have the sitter stay late so I could meet Deacon after work. I didn’t know how I’d feel after our talk, or how long the meeting would last, so I didn’t want to have to go back to the office.Deacon was waiting in a corner seat at Starbucks when I arrived. It was my first time in here since before he’d left for Minnesota. He looked painfully handsome, dressed in all black. He fidgeted with his hands as his eyes wandered the room. His mouth curved into a hesitant smile when he spotted me. He stood.When I approached, I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, whether to hug me or not. He leaned in and gave m

  • Our Secret Baby   63

    CarysTHE TEXT This was a huge day. It would be the first time I let Charles see Sunny without me being there, too. The plan seemed innocent enough. He’d brought his kids to my apartment, and they would be hanging out for a couple of hours.Talia and Xavier had recently met Sunny for the first time. Today was their third visit. The kids had really taken to her, and Sunny liked them. Allowing them to meet seemed to be one of the rare good decisions I’d made this past year.So with Sunny occupied by Charles and his kids, I was off to run a couple of errands and take a breather. I had mixed feelings about leaving her alone with them, but Charles had earned back a bit of my trust in the past few months. While I wouldn’t trust him with my heart again, I knew he was a responsible father to his two other kids. I had no reason to fear for Sunny’s safety while in his care.And also? Mama needed a breather. I mainly had a babysitter for

  • Our Secret Baby   62

    DeaconHINDSIGHT IS TWENTY-TWENTY Since arriving in Minnesota, I’d avoided being alone with my father. I’d gone over to my parents’ for dinner but left before Dad had a chance to corner me. He hadn’t said anything hurtful yet, but I dreaded encountering the version of him I remembered—the one who did nothing but criticize me. I didn’t need him making me feel inadequate when I already felt pretty damn shitty since leaving Carys the way I did.It appeared I could only hide for so long, though. I was shoveling snow outside my grandmother’s house one day when I looked up to see my Dad’s red truck.Sticking the shovel into the snow, I leaned on it as I watched him approach. He reached over to brush some snow off my coat, and I felt my eyes widen. It was rare my father touched me. Aside from the brief hug I’d given him when I first arrived here, there had been no other contact—no handshakes or pats on the back.I stepped back. “What’

  • Our Secret Baby   61

    DeaconCOCKBLOCKER “What are you looking at?” she asked.Shit. How long had I been staring at her? I hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable. It was just… I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’d done a pretty decent job of keeping Carys out of my mind this week. Then I got to the checkout line at the supermarket where I’d been picking up groceries for my grandmother. The cashier looked like an older version of Sunny. Did she think I was staring at her because she had Down syndrome? Shit. That wasn’t it at all.“I’m sorry. I know I was staring at you. It’s because you remind me of someone who’s special to me, someone I don’t get to see anymore. I didn’t mean to be rude.”She rolled her eyes, and it made me chuckle, because I could see Sunny growing up to be as feisty as this girl. My chest tightened at the thought that I might never see Carys or Sunny again.It had been three months since I’d left New York, and my life ther

  • Our Secret Baby   60

    CarysNICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN Over the next six weeks or so, Charles proved he hadn’t been kidding when he’d vowed to earn my trust back. I appreciated that he was letting me call the shots on his reentrance into my life, though.In addition to abiding by a visitation schedule, he’d also begun depositing money more regularly in my bank account. I’d never refused his occasional offerings, but now that he wasn’t doing everything behind Violet’s back, he’d set up a direct deposit each month. I wasn’t going to complain. Sunny deserved his support.We’d agreed on a twice-a-month visitation schedule for starters. I gave him a few hours on Saturdays. We’d take Sunny out, and she was slowly taking to him, offering occasional smiles and responses to his endless efforts to make her laugh. It was noticeably different than her immediate attachment to Deacon had been, though.Charles hadn’t insisted on using the term dad around her, and I was

  • Our Secret Baby   59

    DeaconLAST WORDS I’d rented a car for the ninety-minute drive north to Poughkeepsie, and it had been a smooth ride with no traffic. This had definitely been a good idea. I now held Sunny up as she sat atop one of the ponies at Archwood Farms. She was always a happy child, but the ponies brought out a level of excitement I’d never witnessed before.After the pony ride, I went to fetch Carys and me a couple of coffees from the small concession building, while she took Sunny to a grassy area with a bunch of pumpkins laid out. Sunny was now walking independently. While a little wobbly, she was fully mobile.After I ordered our drinks, the woman I knew to be one of the owners of the farm smiled at me. “Your daughter looked like she was having so much fun out there. I’m so glad you guys could come up north today.”We’d spoken to her briefly when we first arrived, but I didn’t realize she’d assumed I was Sunny’s father. I opened my m

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