“And you’ve been busy. You look tired.” He reached across the table and brushed the pad of his thumb gently across the bluish tint to the skin beneath her eyes.
She flinched, breaking the tenuous contact almost as soon as it had begun. “It’s all good. It’s what I want.”Ah, here it came. Her not-so-subtle wall of defense. “But everyone needs some respite in their life from time to time. Tell me, cara mia, what do you do to unwind—to relax?” “I’ve just come back from holiday, Draco. I don’t need to relax.” He snorted inelegantly. “Holiday? Blair, you worked your way through that culinary tour. You can hardly call that a holiday. Except for—” “Ah, here’s our port.” Blair interrupted him again, taking the two cut-crystal glasses from the silver tray Gustav held in one hand and dismissing him with a look. “Here, salute!” Draco accepted the glass from her and set it down on the table in front of him. He could see straight through her. She thought if she could get him to drink his port, their conversation would be over, and he’d be gone. How wrong she was. When he left here tonight, she would be with him. Willingly. He played with the stem of the glass, admiring the quality of the crystal. She didn’t stint on anything here in the restaurant. From the fittings and furnishings to the tableware and service—it was all of the highest quality. Yes, Blair Carson took her passions seriously. And he liked that about her. A lot. She took a sip of her port, the fortified liquid leaving a sheen on her lips. His fingers tightened reflexively as the tip of her tongue swept across her lips to remove the residual alcohol. He ached for her to take another sip, so he could lean forward and taste the port on her lips, on her tongue. Her next words came as a surprise.“What do you want from me Draco? What will it take to make you go away?” He leaned back in his seat, shifting his hips slightly to ease the ache that had built low in his groin. “What makes you think I will go away?” She shook her head. “We both know your business demands will take you home soon. Already you’ve been here, what, a week? I imagine you’ll need to be leaving soon, I just want to know what I can do to make it sooner.” “Come home with me.” “To the palazzo? You have to be joking.” Ultimately, yes, that was his goal. To have her back where she belonged, with him. But in the meantime he would be satisfied with small victories. “Tonight. To my apartment.” He leaned forward again and lifted her hand with his, dragging her fingertips gently across his lips. He felt the shudder of awareness course through her. The fire between them still burned bright and fierce. “Just tonight?” her voice shook ever so slightly. “And then you’ll leave me alone?” It was a start. He inclined his head. “I’ve missed you, Blair. Let me show you how much.” “I—I don’t know.” “I’m not a man to beg, cara mia, but I beg of you now. You cannot fight this thing between us. Even you have to admit what we have is something rare, something special. Not even with your Rhys did you share this, no?” Her fingers flexed in his and he knew he had her. For tonight at least. “All right. Tonight only. I’ll need to get a few things.”“Certainly. Bring as much as you want. Stay longer.” She withdrew her hand from his clasp. “No. It will only be tonight. Give me your address and I’ll bring my car.” “That won’t be necessary. I have a car and driver at my disposal. Where do we go to pick up your things.” Draco was on his feet and helping Blair to hers before she could rethink things and change her mind. “Upstairs, I have a couple of rooms upstairs. The stairs are around the back through the kitchen.” “Then I shall wait for you here.” He leaned forward and brushed the lightest touch of his lips against hers. He knew he shouldn’t have done it the second he felt her breath against his lips.What was supposed to have been a simple caress sent a flare of heat through his body, and instead of withdrawing from her, as he’d planned, his hand snaked up the slender column of her neck, his fingers tangling in the short strands of her hair so he could angle her head better to plunder the softness of her mouth. Her lips parted with a soft moan, her tongue darting to meet his. The taste of her was intoxicating, sending his blood to thrum through his body with a pagan beat. It had been like this the first time he’d touched her. This all-consuming need to have more of her. To take what she had to offer and give back threefold in return. He’d never known such consuming passion, not even with Marcella. The thought was both sobering and enticing at the same time. Blair’s uninhibited response gave him all the answer he needed. He’d been right to pursue her, right to bide his time before making his move. She was as affected by their magnetism as he. Being here each night and not contacting her, not touching her, had been a master plan. As calculated as it sounded, it had been the only way to show her that this thing between them couldn’t be ignored, but was there to be indulged in. Dio! He couldn’t get enough of her. He nipped lightly at her lower lip, suckling against the pliant tissue, absorbing the tiny sound of pleasure thatemanated from deep in her throat. The clatter of cutlery on bowls brought him suddenly to his senses and he pulled back, his fingers stroking the satin softness of her neck one last time before he forced himself to let her go. “Hurry. I don’t want to waste a moment,” he said, his voice pitched low so only Blair could hear him. For a second she wavered, as if slightly off balance. Truth be told, he felt much the same way. But then, with a slight nod, she walked away from him, her steps brisk and to the point.“I s it getting hot in here, or is it just you?” Gustav remarked, fanning himself theatrically, as Blair pushed through the kitchen doors and headed straight toward the back door.“Can it, Gus. You got what you wanted.”“Well, technically, no. But it sure looks like you’re going to. Way to go, Blair.It’s about time. And don’t worry about the restaurant. I’ll lock up.”Blair hesitated, her hand on the back door. “What do you mean, it’s about time?”“Well, you know. Since that whole business with Rhys and Alicia, it’s like all your enthusiasm for the place got sucked out of you.”Had she really been so transparent? Granted, the breakup with Rhys over his betrayal with Alicia and the subsequent legal battle over severing their employment had been draining, but she hadn’t for a minute thought she’d let that impact on her work, or the workplace.Gustav carried on. “Since you came back from Italy, it’s as if you have a new vibrancy about you, and it shows in your food and everything. Every
He lifted her slightly and withdrew from her body, letting her unhook her legs from his waist and slide them down to the ground. She was amazed she could even stand. Her skirt fluttered down around her thighs as she moved off the wall. Draco rearranged his clothing.“Come, I think we both need to shower after that. Let me take care of you.”Blair picked up her backpack and let him take her by the hand as he led her through the apartment. Floor-to-ceiling glass faced the inner harbor and Viaduct Basin. Light glittered off a myriad of buildings and luxury super-yachts and cruisers moored in the basin to reflect on the inky surface of the ocean. The vista was surreal. About as surreal as the fact she’d just allowed herself to be swept away by a sensual hunger she’d only barely begun to acknowledge.The master suite led off the living room, and beyond that, the master bathroom. Soft dove-gray walls softened the black-and-gray marble vanity tops and black-tiled floor. Blair placed her pack
B lair woke to the sound of Draco moving about the room. She kept her eyes closed and focused on keeping her breathing even. She didn’t want to face him. Not now. Not in the cold light of day. She’d agreed to one night, but, if she knew him, he’d want more. And he wouldn’t take no for an answer.She listened to the gentle slide of a drawer closing and then the soft sound of his bare feet on the thickly carpeted floor. She waited until the door to the bathroom was closed before opening her eyes. She wanted out of here, right now.Yes, they’d had the most spectacular night of lovemaking of her life, but Draco would never let it stop there. Men like him wanted more. Needed more. With his position back at home he was expected to marry, to raise a family. He could never do that with someone like Blair, and she didn’t want to be that someone anyway. She didn’t have that kind of person inside her to give.The failure with Rhys was categorical proof of that, and with her family track history—
The coffee in Blair’s mug left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. What was it about Blair and her father that they couldn’t find happiness in lasting love? She’d lost count of the failed relationships he’d embarked upon and then left during her childhood, let alone since her teenage years. They’d clung to one another many a time, secure in the knowledge that no matter how often others came and went they’d always have each other. Yet, would they? Blair felt increasingly vulnerable. A heart attack had forced Blair Sr. into early retirement. In fact, it had only been her taking over his dreams and vision for Carson’s that had seen him agree to withdrawing from the restaurant. He’d had to move out of Auckland as well, because he hadn’t been able to stay away, or out of the kitchen, when he’d remained in town. And while he’d been happy to cover for her during her Tuscan culinary tour—a trip that was supposed to have been her honeymoon—she could see how taxing it had be
T he next couple of weeks saw Blair take her creativity to new heights. After their nights of lovemaking, she expected to leave work each night drained. But instead, the opposite was true. She’d never been more invigorated in her life. She still suffered from the occasional recurrence of nausea or dizzy spell, no doubt still a hangover from the niggling stomach upset she’d had a few weeks ago, but overall she’d never felt better.Tonight the restaurant was humming, as it had for a while now. This week in particular had been crazy when Draco’s friendship with newly-engaged billionaire entrepreneur Brent Colby had been at the forefront of the gossip magazines. It seemed as if every aspect of Draco’s life was fodder for the papers, and by association, hers too.Reporters still hung around outside each night, but instead of the headlines reading things like “Is Carson’s Going Italian?” or “Italian Stallion on the Menu?” they were more focused on the increasing high number of local celebri
“S o, you’re saying that because I didn’t take my tablet at the exact same time every day, being the time I would take my tablet here in New Zealand, that I was unprotected?”Blair fought back tears as she tried to simplify what her doctor had told her.She’d already left a urine sample with the nurse, but if what her doctor said was true, she had a horrible idea she knew exactly what the result of the pregnancy test would be.“Blair, you are on a very low dose contraceptive. You were aware of that at the beginning, weren’t you?”“Yes. Yes I was.”And she’d had a reminder set in her cell phone to go off at the exact same time every day so she never forgot a tablet. But since her phone hadn’t had a global roaming facility she hadn’t taken it overseas with her.Draco had used condoms when she was in Italy, but after a couple of nights, and days, Blair remembered a couple of occasions where their passion had gotten the better of them. He’d gone to great lengths to assure her of his sexua
Except for the issue of her pregnancy. It had been a week since her confirmation. Five days since she’d severed contact with Draco. She was still in turmoil about whether she should tell him or not. Her favorite option right now was not, even if it was horribly wrong. He deserved to know, but she didn’t want to tell him. She had no doubt he’d want to take control of her life at that point, and that was not going to happen. Not now, when she had everything else running exactly as she’d imagined when she took Carson’s over from her dad. Blair stopped in her tracks as she came across a high-quality envelope that had been hand-addressed to her. She flipped it over to see who the sender was and frowned as she identified the name as her landlord’s lawyers. She’d dealt with them over the lease for Carson’s when her name had been substituted for her father’s as the lessee. What on earth could they want from her now? She unlocked her car and sat down,
“Who else? I couldn’t get you to agree to see me any other way. I’m not above using my wealth and influence when I have to. You’d do well to remember that in future, cara mia.”“Don’t. Don’t call me that. I’m not your darling, your lover. Your anything.” Suddenly it occurred to Blair that antagonizing Draco was probably not the best thing to have done under the circumstances. A roiling wave of nausea rose from the pit of her stomach. She spun around and flew toward the women’s restroom, her hand over her mouth, tears once more streaming down her face. In a toilet stall she fell to her knees and retched until her stomach was empty. “Here.”A folded wet paper towel was pressed into her hand from behind her. Oh no.Had Draco followed her in here? Witnessed her embarrassing loss of control? “When you’re feeling okay I will be waiting for you outside.”There was a tone to his voice that left her in no doubt that
EPILOGUE Deacon Getting Carys to fully believe in me didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped. And there was no formal discussion or announcement when things had finally crossed the barrier of trust. Our being back together happened slowly and organically. I spent every day for months showing her I wasn’t going anywhere, and taking the time to learn how to be a good partner to her and a father to Sunny. Because I’d put in the work, I finally reaped the rewards.In the five years since Carys entered my life, I’d learned many things, including the following, in no particular order.One: You can’t prove yourself with words, only actions.Two: You can’t choose who you love. It never mattered what I told myself about not getting into a relationship with Carys. From the moment we connected, I was destined to lose the battle with my brain.Three: Full freedom can’t be achieved until you forgive yourself. I finally so
CarysNAUGHTY GIRL The months since Deacon’s return had reminded me a lot of the early days of our relationship. He was there when I needed him but didn’t cross any boundaries. I knew he was being careful not to make assumptions about my readiness to let him back into my life.It all felt a little like déjà vu because Deacon had reverted back to being a good friend I desperately wanted to have sex with. But I hadn’t let myself go there yet. I kept waiting to feel a hundred-percent sure he would never hurt me again. But is it ever possible to be absolutely certain?One Saturday afternoon, Sharon called to tell me she had the day free if I wanted her to come spend a few hours with Sunny. She said she figured I might appreciate some time to myself. Never one to refuse unexpected help, I thanked her and said I would love to take her up on that.She arrived about an hour later. As I kissed Sunny goodbye and headed out the door, I re
DeaconHOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? You’ve heard the saying that life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon? Well, earning Carys’s trust back was more like a slow wade through an ocean. But it was worth it, even if not getting to reach out and touch her was downright painful. A month-and-a-half after I returned to New York, my relationship with Carys was slowly improving.One afternoon, as we sat in her living room drinking the coffees I’d brought over, I presented her with something I’d made back in Minnesota.I took it out of the small bag. “I forgot to give this to you. It’s for Sunny. I made it while I was home.”Carys smiled as she examined the pink hat. “You crocheted this?”“Yup. My grandmother was trying to get me out of her house, where I stayed half the time. She wanted to invite dirty old men over without my being there, but that’s a story for another day.” I laughed. “Anyway, she commissioned me to help her make hats
CarysJUST COFFEE Despite saying he’d give me time to ready myself, Deacon texted me a few days later to ask if I would be willing to meet him during my lunch break on one of the days I worked in the office. I said yes. We needed to have the conversation away from Sunny.I chose Friday, but instead of a lunch meet-up, I opted to have the sitter stay late so I could meet Deacon after work. I didn’t know how I’d feel after our talk, or how long the meeting would last, so I didn’t want to have to go back to the office.Deacon was waiting in a corner seat at Starbucks when I arrived. It was my first time in here since before he’d left for Minnesota. He looked painfully handsome, dressed in all black. He fidgeted with his hands as his eyes wandered the room. His mouth curved into a hesitant smile when he spotted me. He stood.When I approached, I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, whether to hug me or not. He leaned in and gave m
CarysTHE TEXT This was a huge day. It would be the first time I let Charles see Sunny without me being there, too. The plan seemed innocent enough. He’d brought his kids to my apartment, and they would be hanging out for a couple of hours.Talia and Xavier had recently met Sunny for the first time. Today was their third visit. The kids had really taken to her, and Sunny liked them. Allowing them to meet seemed to be one of the rare good decisions I’d made this past year.So with Sunny occupied by Charles and his kids, I was off to run a couple of errands and take a breather. I had mixed feelings about leaving her alone with them, but Charles had earned back a bit of my trust in the past few months. While I wouldn’t trust him with my heart again, I knew he was a responsible father to his two other kids. I had no reason to fear for Sunny’s safety while in his care.And also? Mama needed a breather. I mainly had a babysitter for
DeaconHINDSIGHT IS TWENTY-TWENTY Since arriving in Minnesota, I’d avoided being alone with my father. I’d gone over to my parents’ for dinner but left before Dad had a chance to corner me. He hadn’t said anything hurtful yet, but I dreaded encountering the version of him I remembered—the one who did nothing but criticize me. I didn’t need him making me feel inadequate when I already felt pretty damn shitty since leaving Carys the way I did.It appeared I could only hide for so long, though. I was shoveling snow outside my grandmother’s house one day when I looked up to see my Dad’s red truck.Sticking the shovel into the snow, I leaned on it as I watched him approach. He reached over to brush some snow off my coat, and I felt my eyes widen. It was rare my father touched me. Aside from the brief hug I’d given him when I first arrived here, there had been no other contact—no handshakes or pats on the back.I stepped back. “What’
DeaconCOCKBLOCKER “What are you looking at?” she asked.Shit. How long had I been staring at her? I hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable. It was just… I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’d done a pretty decent job of keeping Carys out of my mind this week. Then I got to the checkout line at the supermarket where I’d been picking up groceries for my grandmother. The cashier looked like an older version of Sunny. Did she think I was staring at her because she had Down syndrome? Shit. That wasn’t it at all.“I’m sorry. I know I was staring at you. It’s because you remind me of someone who’s special to me, someone I don’t get to see anymore. I didn’t mean to be rude.”She rolled her eyes, and it made me chuckle, because I could see Sunny growing up to be as feisty as this girl. My chest tightened at the thought that I might never see Carys or Sunny again.It had been three months since I’d left New York, and my life ther
CarysNICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN Over the next six weeks or so, Charles proved he hadn’t been kidding when he’d vowed to earn my trust back. I appreciated that he was letting me call the shots on his reentrance into my life, though.In addition to abiding by a visitation schedule, he’d also begun depositing money more regularly in my bank account. I’d never refused his occasional offerings, but now that he wasn’t doing everything behind Violet’s back, he’d set up a direct deposit each month. I wasn’t going to complain. Sunny deserved his support.We’d agreed on a twice-a-month visitation schedule for starters. I gave him a few hours on Saturdays. We’d take Sunny out, and she was slowly taking to him, offering occasional smiles and responses to his endless efforts to make her laugh. It was noticeably different than her immediate attachment to Deacon had been, though.Charles hadn’t insisted on using the term dad around her, and I was
DeaconLAST WORDS I’d rented a car for the ninety-minute drive north to Poughkeepsie, and it had been a smooth ride with no traffic. This had definitely been a good idea. I now held Sunny up as she sat atop one of the ponies at Archwood Farms. She was always a happy child, but the ponies brought out a level of excitement I’d never witnessed before.After the pony ride, I went to fetch Carys and me a couple of coffees from the small concession building, while she took Sunny to a grassy area with a bunch of pumpkins laid out. Sunny was now walking independently. While a little wobbly, she was fully mobile.After I ordered our drinks, the woman I knew to be one of the owners of the farm smiled at me. “Your daughter looked like she was having so much fun out there. I’m so glad you guys could come up north today.”We’d spoken to her briefly when we first arrived, but I didn’t realize she’d assumed I was Sunny’s father. I opened my m