Chapter 14

Allison's POV

I'm lying in bed at eleven in the morning, one arm over my eyes. On a different day, I would have been at work hours ago.

But not today. I don't think I can go to work today. I don't think I can go to work ever again, after the way I disgraced myself at the luncheon yesterday. I should have stayed at home. I should have avoided the alcohol. I should have remained at the balcony. I should have avoided the lunch table. I should never have left Elsa and Ian's side in the first place.

Each minute that passes shoves one more regret into my mind, one more reason why I'm entirely at fault for what happened.

I don't realize that I'm crying until I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Why do I keep doing this? Why don't I have the good sense not to keep ruining everything for myself?

I hear a knock on my door, but I don't bother answering. I know it's Ian. He has been knocking since seven, trying to get me to unlock the door, but I can't face him right now. I can't even face myself right now. I've already told him to leave, to go to work and stop bothering himself with me, but he won't listen. So I've just stopped saying anything. He has even called so many times that I had to switch off my phone.

I don't want to respond, but he has been out there, knocking for hours. If I don't unlock the door, does he plan to keep knocking till night or something? The idea annoys me for some reason. I grab a pillow and throw it at the door.

"Go away, Ian!" I scream.

"It's Elsa not Ian, you idiot!" Elsa yells back. "Now, are you going to open this door or do I have to break it down? It's your choice."

I gape at the door, stunned.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I called her," Ian says, sounding apologetic. "Sorry, Allison. I had to."

"I had to come all the way from work," Elsa adds. "When I noticed that you weren't there yet, I called you, but your phone was switched off."

I sigh, burying my face in my hands. My head is pounding as if I have a hangover.

"Are you going to open the door or not?" Elsa demands. "Because I'm sure I can find something heavy enough to break this door somewhere around here."

I know better than to argue. Right now, there's no winning with Elsa. Groaning, I drag myself reluctantly out of bed and unlock the door. I don't know what I was expecting, but somehow I don't expect Elsa to fold me into a hug as soon as I open the door.

"It'll be okay, Allison," she says in a soothing voice. "I'm here for you, remember?"

For some reason, her gentleness only makes me cry harder. I hold her tightly, crying into her jacket.

"It's all over for me, Elsa!" I sob. "I messed up and now everybody knows! I can't go back to work like this. I c-cant—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Elsa says as if she's talking to a spooked horse. "Calm down, honey. It's going to be alright."

She pulls away to hold my shoulders, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Now listen. It doesn't matter if everybody knows that you're pregnant. There's no rule that forbids pregnant women from working at the company. The worst they can do is gossip, and that's not going to kill you. Are you listening?"

I nod, gulping.

"Good. Now, this is what we're going to do. I'll wait for you while you go in and get prepared for work—"

I start to shake my head immediately. I can't imagine walking into that place, facing the judgment in everybody's eyes—

"Elsa, I can't—"

"Shh. Yes, you can. You can't lose to their court of public opinion. You're stronger than that, and you have me by your side. Now, go and prepare."

Unable to speak, I nod again. I take a quick shower, and dress up while Elsa sits waiting on my bed. She coaxes a little breakfast into me, and holds my hand as we head downstairs.

Since I'm in no state of mind to drive, Ian drives us to work. I can't stop shivering the whole time, and Elsa doesn't let go of my hand.

……

I hear the whispers as soon as I step into the building. Everyone is talking about me. The receptionist, the janitors, everybody. And they're not even trying to hide it. They're "whispering" loud enough to make sure I hear them. I make out words like "slut" and "pretender", and I want to shrink into my baggy clothes and disappear.

If I didn't have Elsa and Ian on either side of me, I might have turned and run right out of the building.

One bright side of this is that Rachel doesn't appear to reprimand me, even though I'm just as late today as I was the other day. When we get to the door of my office, I feel like a child on her first day in kindergarten, having to watch her parents walk away. But Ian and Elsa have duties to attend to, and it's not like I can tell them to sit with me while I work.

"See you later?" Elsa says, squeezing my hand.

"See you later," I reply, squeezing her hand back.

I wave at Ian, then I watch them leave. It is only when they're out of view that I push the door open and walk into my office.

It's immediately clear that my colleagues have been talking about me. The conversation dwindles suspiciously, and they all stare at me like I've grown a beard.

I drop my gaze to the floor and hurry to my desk, only to find Emily sitting on it and looking very pleased with herself.

"Hey there, Allison," she says with a smug smile, "how is that stomach bug?"

Her fans titter like it's funny. I plant a smile on my face, settling in behind my desk and looking at my system instead of her.

"Very fine, thank you," I reply calmly, even though all I want to do is scream.

Of course she has told them all about the day she found me throwing up. Spreading stories about others is what she does. 

This is going to be a very long day.