Nineteen

"Why did you choose a BMW?" Harper asked me. We had been playing 20 questions and we had been going back and forth for a few hours now and surprisingly, I was enjoying myself.

Turns out Harper can be less of an idiot wanted to. Talked and laughed. And talked. And laughed. A lot.

I giggled. "I think the question you should ask is, 'Why not a BMW'?" 

"You got me!" He threw his head back and laughed, his shoulder shaking which showed how genuine he was being right now.

We had done eating our sandwiches some time ago. Delicious and my mouth watered just thinking about them. When I asked him about it, he told me he had his housekeeper make them. We had a can of Coke with the sandwiches and then ended up sharing a chocolate bar.

Harper smiled at me and then checked his wristwatch. I knew it was time to leave. I checked my phone which showed that it was nearly 11:30. Holy moly! We had been talking for almost four hours straight and the conversation was never uncomfortable. There was never a dull moment with Harper and I found him to be quite intelligent.

"I think we should go. If I am a minute later than 12, Samantha will bite my head off." She does sound like my mother! He laughed while shaking his head and simultaneously, got up from his chair.

This was it. This was the end of our time together. It was time to burst my bubble and I was reluctant to do it.

I smiled at the thought. I was dreading this date till the very last minute. I thought we would have nothing to talk about, that we would never find a common topic between us, and that this night would end up in a fight between us. The night exceeded my expectations and I found myself wishing for more.

It was a dangerous thought and I quickly killed it before it could sprout and take root in my mind. Wanting "more"?! Where had the thought come from?

I picked up my leather jacket from where I had hung it on the back of the chair, earlier in the evening. I dusted dirt off of it and wrinkled my nose when I could see dust particles swirl in the air.

Harper gathered the used paper plates and put them all in the wicker basket. He then folded the tablecloth and put it inside the basket. 

Meanwhile, I watched him; how his lithe body worked, how his long and deft fingers folded the table cloth, how his prominent muscles bulged through his leather jacket. He looked graceful and lethal in that moment and I couldn't help but marvel at him.

"Don't look at me like that." Harper's voice broke out of my reverie. His voice had suddenly become heavy and had lost all its playfulness. It sounded strained and a little breathy.

I folded my arms across my chest, my jacket still in my hand. "Like what?" My eyes met his in the soft glow of the lantern and they looked like two little pools of black and not the usual green I had become accustomed to.

He left the basket on the table and walked slowly towards me, giving me a chance to stop him but I couldn't move or say anything. At all. The trance Harper always seemed to hold me in was the dominating factor between us right now. It was surprising how moods shifted between us and I found it hard to keep up.

In a few seconds, he was in front of me, standing close to me, our faces inches apart. His chest was heaving up and down as if he had just run a marathon. My breathing was erratic too and I knew he could see it in the fast rise and fall of my chest.

This was wrong. I had not signed up for it. At least, not tonight. I was still coming to terms with this playful, fun, and normal side of Harper. Although I could see that he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him, it could seriously mess things up between us, even before anything started. 

A painful thought crossed my mind. The memory of Harper calling me easy a few days ago was still fresh in my mind, and so was the hurt I had experienced afterward. The last thing I wanted to do right now was to give him an upper hand in our.... arrangement. What do I even call it?

Harper leaned down slowly, his face close to mine and I knew that this was the moment I had to take a step back if I wanted to salvage any form of respect, I had for myself.

And I did.

I took two slow steps back, although my body protested at every movement, I made to create distance between us and looked everywhere but at him. Every atom in my body wanted to be touched and embraced by him and it was taking a lot of willpower to not throw myself at him. 

I nervously tucked a strand behind my ear and gathered the strength to look at him. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." My voice was small and unsure and I wondered if it gave any indication of the battle of thoughts that was going in my mind right then.

He smiled at me and shook his head. "It's my fault. I never should have made a move on you on the first date."

My head whipped up to look at him in surprise. "The first date?"

"Obviously. There could be other dates, um, if you want." He nervously ran a hand through his hair and I smiled to myself at his adorableness.

"You don't believe me, do you?" He started again nervously and looked everywhere but at me, his cheeks tinged red.

He was asking me out on another date and I knew what my answer was going to be. I would simply love to go on a second date with him. I enjoyed myself during the time I spent with him and it certainly wouldn't hurt to have such a night again.

"I, um, plan to take things seriously with you." 

What? Take things seriously with me? Who even says that?

This was more than I was ready for and everything in me, right now, wanted to protect myself, protect my feelings. Warning bells started ringing in my head and the only thing I was sure of, right now, was that I just didn't want to get hurt again.

"Harper, going on a date and taking things to the next level are two different things. Two completely different things." My voice was small and sounded uncertain to my ears.

"I know. Look, I asked you to keep an open mind about everything, right?! To keep an open mind about me?! It wasn't so bad, was it?!" His voice became small at the end of his rant and I felt uncomfortable. Did he believe the time I spent with him was bad? It was anything but.

I found myself itching to ease his worries and I frowned internally at myself.

"I had a good time tonight." I nodded my head to make him believe that I was telling him the truth. "But it's a really big step! One I'm not ready to take." I sounded desperate to my ears and I wasn't even the one proposing right now.

"Take your time, okay? Just give me a chance." He looked at me with his eyes shining so hopeful that I couldn't say no to him. I don't think I even wanted to say no to him. Is that how everything is going to be between us, him giving me puppy eyes which would simply hinder my senses and make it hard for me to say no to him?!

"I need some time and space to think about it, Harper. That means no following me around." He smiled at me; relief evident in his voice.

"I can deal with that." He picked up the wicker basket and I took that as my cue to walk out of the house.

He locked the door behind me and I once again took my time assessing the house. This house held a new meaning for me now, it was a major part of Harper's life and he cherished it. And now that our first date had taken place here, it was special to me too.

"Where are we right now?" I turned to look at Harper who had pocketed the key to the house. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's this place called? How far away are we from the town?"

He chuckled and looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Say yes and I will tell you."

I laughed at his playfulness and shook my head, sticking my tongue out at him. "Not a chance."

The ride back to Sam's house was quiet. The silence was comfortable and the music coming out of the speakers filled the distance between us. It gave me time to ponder over whatever happened in that house, from all the fun to Harper saying he was serious about me.

He sounded like a medieval virgin man proclaiming his love to a woman who he had always shied from. The thought brought a smile to my face.

Harper accompanied me to the front door of Samantha's house and knocked on it. He checked his wristwatch. "Ah, I still have 5 minutes."

I giggled and looked at him. He looked unreal in the faint glow of the night and I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms and kiss him. I already knew what my answer was going to be, I just wanted to make sure that I had made the right decision, and for that, I needed my best friends.

We stood there, looking at each other, aware of the fact that at any moment, any one of my friends would open the door. 

I somehow knew that Harper wouldn't kiss me. I had already stopped him once and if I wanted to kiss him, I would have to take the first step. I did not doubt that Harper would follow.

I smiled at him.

"Oh! Just kiss each other already!" Came the muffled voice of Nat from behind the door.

Harper's cheeks tinged a deep red and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at his discomfort. He looked so uncomfortable and it was a nice change to see him like that.

He put his hands in his pockets. "I think I should go."

Nat and Sam were probably chuckling on the other side of the door. 

It all happened so fast, that I didn't even get the time to react. Harper leaned forward, closer to me, and planted his lips softly on my cheeks.

Tingles erupted in my cheeks by the small and unexpected contact. My toes curled from the simple act and it made me want more. So much more.

My eyes bugged out of my sockets and I looked at Harper who was blushing profusely, already taking big steps back towards his car. 

He held out his hands as if embracing the world. "I just couldn't help myself."

A laugh broke out of my throat and I felt myself blush at my response. "Good night," I said softly.

He waved his hand at me when he reached his car. I didn't want him to go and it was very hard for me to see his car becoming smaller on the road in the moonlight.

My phone pinged. 

Good night

I smiled at the gesture and turned around to see my two best friends standing at the doorway, grinning at me.