Chapter 5: Intoxicated

I must’ve not locked my door correctly. I was nervous so that would make sense. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Also, why would I allow myself to do it? I was such a horny person and he knew exactly what to do to get me going. I got going and even though it was quick it was unforgettable. Imagine what a full session would be. Poor Ryan, he didn’t deserve that and I think part of me knew I never wanted to be any more than what we are. I knew that sitting here just thinking wasn't going to do me any good so I decided to sleep it off and ignore my phone. A knock on my front door woke me up. I woke up in a panic and looked over at the clock that revealed it was one in the morning. What the hell? I moved the blankets off of me and stood up trying to get my balance of being half-awake. Another knock came at the door while I made my way to it. I walked to the window near my door to look out and it was Arson leaning on the wall. I quickly opened it and he almost fell but somehow I managed to hold his wait. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.

When he looked up at me I noticed how glossy his eyes were and the smell of scotch. He is fucking drunk. He tried to balance himself but ended up slightly falling and on instinct, I caught him and brought him inside.

“I seemed to be a tad drunk.”

He was mumbling but I somehow was able to hear it. Arson was heavy so I could barely hold his weight but enough for me to carry him to the couch and sit him down. If I wasn't awake before I was now.

 

“What are you doing here drunk?”

He started taking off his jacket but watching him do that hurt my eyes. So I assisted and threw it to the other couch but I was still standing in front of him like mother waiting for answers. 

“Is there something wrong with me? Why do I keep fucking things up?”

His face was in his hands now but the pain in his drunken voice made me feel for him. He’s been here one time and this is the first place he comes. But it didn't hurt to hear a few minutes was me was a giant fuck up but I shoved those feelings down.

“There is nothing wrong with you. You’re going through a rough patch.”

I tried to comfort him but in his state, he probably wouldn’t remember anyway. He was sniffling which caused my heart to ache. I bent down in front of him and removed his hands from his face which caused him to look up at me. I know as a man it is hard to show this vulnerability but in our spieces there is no hurt like one from a mate. It was sacred and could lead to dying of a broken heart.

“I used you.” He whispered.

I was shocked and curious as to what he meant. I used my hands to wipe the tears from his eyes and I lingered just a little longer than I wanted to.

“What do you mean?”

“I knew you were going to be there. It was on purpose why I was there. I caught my mate fucking my beta once again. So I came with the intention on fucking you because I knew I could.”

Ouch...

This is why I messed with one guy because then I couldn't be played the way I was tonight. I was easy according to him and he proved that. I wish I could scrub every inch of my body that he made feel gross. I took a deepbreath before responding. At the end of the day he was my Alpha and I owe loyalty to him. But the moment he sobers up this will never happen again. I won't be something he picks up or drops when he feels like. It was that moment my entire guard went up. 

“Alpha, you’re drunk. I am going to grab you a blanket so you can rest.”

I said “Alpha” with venom just to remind him that’s who he was. I think he realized the coldness of my words. I got up but he grabbed onto my hand.

“I don’t like when you call me that.”

I had to use my other hand to get away from his rough grasp. I walked over to the hallway and into the linen closet to grab a pillow and blanket before returning back. He was not there. I saw the front door open and quickly tossed the blanket and ran outside.

"Alpha!" I screamed but he didn't stop.

I ran out with no shoes and stopped him before he got off the sidewalk. This guy is going to kill himself and here I was chasing him like a toddler.

"You are not in a good state and no one should see you this way. You're sleeping here and you can leave in the morning." I demanded.

He looked at me again.

"Don't call me that."

"Fine, get inside Arson."

He paused before walking past me angrily and headed back into my apartment. However, he didn't stop at the couch he walked over to my bedroom and climbed in the covers. Is he trying to test my patience ?

"What are you doing? The couch is in the livingroom."

But it didn't matter what I said because he was already snuggled and breathing heavily. Great, I guess I am sleeping on the couch. I reached for my bedroom trash and put it next to his side but when I turned around to leave the room he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bed with him.

"Oh, this is not how it's going to go."

He didn't let up one bit the harder I fought him. His arm was snaked around my stomach and his nose was on the back of my neck. Each time I tried to get up he just held on closer. There was no winning at this moment and I was tired. We will definitely be talking about this in the morning. He won and now on my mind I am thinking how I am going to sneak him out tomorrow. If people knew he was involved with a no-one like me it could ruin his life.

"Goodnight, Ally."

What the fuck? Did he just call me his mates name? I was pissed now and stuck in his embrace. I was a rebound but I won't stand for being called someone else's name. I fought a little more but he wouldn't let go. There was no use. Now tears were falling down my eyes as I fell asleep. When morning came his arms were no longer around me. I looked beside me and he was passed out still snoring away. Probably would be a good idea if I made coffee before I threw him out. So I quickly got dressed and made my way into the kitchen. A lot of feelings were running through me now. I was hurt, but I was also guilty at the same time. I've just met him and he's managed to make me feel every emotion in a short time.

The sound of footsteps made me turn around and Arson was rubbing his head when he noticed me and then realization kicked in. I poured a cup of coffee and handed it to him.

"Thanks."

He sat down at the table and you could see how tight and nervous he was holding the mug.

"Drink up. I want to make sure you're awake before I yell at you."

My hands are on my hips and he staring at me feeling shame. He took a sip before leaning back with his arms crossed waiting for me to speak. He wasn't fighting it so now I am not that mad.

"Did you wake up and just realize you weren't home?"

I went with a question. Maybe he could put two and two together.

"I don't recall anything after my last drink. I'm sorry. I don't know how I keep ending up back here."

Great, now I can't really be mad. I leaned against the counter and just stared at him. We're just looking at each and I don't have much to say but it needed to be addressed.

"Arson, I am not your rebound and I don't like being used either because she hurt you again. You're my Alpha and your mate can ruin my life. I have a sick mom and I already have it hard with people respecting me because I am a stripper in case you forgot. You crossed a line coming here."

Pity ran across his face. It looks as if he understood and he was now battling his problems once again. It won't end well and I'll keep saying that. There is a chain of command and wherever you fall is the tier you stay within. We broke so many morals.

"Did we have sex again last night?" He asked.

Is he serious? And the sympathy is gone. That's all he cares about knowing? Not me explaining how I feel. Ugh, just the same arrogant Alpha's as the rest. 

"Yeah, you came over and we had a drink and then fucked all night long. The best part was when you called me your mate's name. Only one of those things was true. Guess."

"Please tell me we drank all night?"

I gave him a scowl and he dropped his head into his hands.  At least he was remorseful but that doesn't make it any better. This thing between us has gone too far and it needed to end.

"Hell Makayla, I am sorry. If I was in my right mind I would've never disrespected you like that. I swear."

"It doesn't matter. Whatever this is between us needs to end. It's gotten far more complicated and messy. So finish up your coffee, I am going to shower."

I didn't give him a chance to respond because that would only mean that I care or he did and it's not true. He didn't try to stop me either. After my shower I walked back out to the kitchen to where he was cleaning his mug. His eyes met mine and they were full of regret but he didn't say a word. I grabbed my keys but a knock was at my door. I looked at him andback out wondering who that was. I walked over to the window to see who it was and when I peaked it was Ryan. Fuck. I made eye contact with Arson and pointed to the bedroom and silently whispered for him to go there. He didn't argue with me but I waited until he closed the door before I opened it and greeted Ryan with a smile.

"Hey, I brought you some hot tea. You left so abruptly and wanted to make sure you were okay, and I didn't do anything to upset you."

He handed me the cup and the concern was refreshing. But the timing was not great.

"I am fine. I had really bad cramps and it was unbearable. Listen, I am going to see my mother so I can't talk right now."

He smiled before bringing me into a hug. His hug felt strange and I just wanted out. I wanted out of the drama and the fake feelings. In my heart, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone got hurt. Ryan had pulled back and I watched as he walked to his car and left. The moment I walked back inside Arson was out of the room.

"You keep stringing the good guy along, you will see the side that hates you once he finds out you don't feel that way. Let him go."

His honesty pissed me off because he was right and he was the last person I wanted to be right.

"Lets go." Was the only thing I could say as I didn't want to have this conversation with him anymore.