Chapter 3: Shame

I wiped the side of my mouth as I stood up in front of Arson. His head was tilted back as his breathing was rapid after he released inside of my mouth. I started feeling a hint of regret and tons of guilt knowing I allowed this to happen and he wasn’t even looking at me. Why isn’t he looking at me?! When he lifted his head he didn’t make any contact with me as guilt washed over him. He was looking passed me and now I was the one crying. I went for the door but when I opened it he closed it.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t cry because of me. Relax, I am not going to treat you any other way I was just processing.”

I relaxed in my spot and exhaled the breath I was keeping in.

“Can I touch you now? Respectfully?” He asked.

I nodded expecting this to turn dirty but instead, he planted his lips against mine. There was nothing sexual about it but the way our energies collided seemed to heal the sadness. I longed for more as he pulled back and rested his head on mine. Wow is all I can think.

“I’ve not kissed someone in a long time. Especially someone who just had their mouth on my dick. I really hope you don’t do this with every client.”

“I never have. I have a rule and with you, I’ve broken more than just my rule, but my morals. It was a poor choice of judgment.” 

I pushed his arms to get some space between us. He was mated. Married! There is no reason I should have ever broken my rules. It was selfish and in the real world. The mistress doesn’t win.

“Makayla.”

Before he said anymore a knock on the door interrupted him. When he opened the door he quickly shut it.

“Hide. Please.”

This man could not be serious? His pleading eyes made me give in as I ran to close the curtains of the stage and sat in the chair.

“Hey, I was looking everywhere for you. Alpha Knox said you had gone up here.”

I heard a female voice say. The door shut but they were still inside.

“Well, you found me. You can go now.”

The harshness in his face just made it clear who was in the room. His mate was in the room where this just happened. I was still in here. There was a door here but any sound would cause more of an issue that I was just not ready to deal with. Every regret I have still had didn’t feel as bad as how good I felt doing it.

“You haven’t been home in weeks. You have not talked to me either. I know you’re upset but we’re soulmates, Arson. Sooner or later you’re going to forgive me. Now can we please just make up so we can get out of this nasty place?”

I peeked through the curtain just curious as to what was happening but I peeked and when I turned the chair slipped and resulted in me hitting the button that opened the curtains. Shit shit shit!

When it opened they both looked at me and she looked mad now. I had to cover this up.

“Are you my next clients?” I asked.

Both looked too stunned to speak. I walked over to the radio and hit the play button on the playlist and made my way over to the pole. I knew this was just a distraction but had to play my role. There was nothing but disgust on her face but his eyes were focused on me as I slid my back down the pole.

“Don’t be shy. Why don’t you both have a seat.”

What was I doing? I should abort but I had to play that part. He looked at me like I was insane but surprisingly she sat down.

“Ally we should go.”

But she stayed sitting down while he stood near the door still. But her nose started moving and at that moment Arson had walked over and dragged her out of there. I forgot for just a moment they were officially mated and she would’ve smelt him on me and me on him. I was careless. What was wrong with me? At this point, I just wanted to get home. I had exited the room and passed them on the way to the locker room where I had gotten dressed real quick and made my way out of the club. Even when Ryan and Dan both tried to stop me. I needed to go home and rinse my mouth with mouthwash and just forget this entire night.

ARSON

It was a moment of weakness and I gave in to temptations. It’s been weeks since I had a clear conversation with the opposite gender and she so happened to be a stripper. A stranger who angered and intrigued me all at once. Yet it was like a breath of fresh air. When you have a mate everything is supposed to be about love and growing but she stepped out on me and told me it was because I was always busy. I should’ve known when the communication was now short sentences. Or when she decided that eating together was no longer important. Maybe I should’ve worried less about making things worse to see the real problem. I spent every waking moment just going over everything like maybe I was at fault. The sight of her made me sick to my stomach.

So when Makayla didn’t leave the room when I tried to force her out it piqued my attention. Without permission, she sat on my lap and even when I tried to look past her it was hard not to. She was beautiful… She was confident… But most of all she read me like a picture book. Like this was familiar territory. I was wrong for allowing things to go further than they did. I was wrong for not handling this like a man, but am I wrong for enjoying this too? For just a moment, ignoring that my marriage is falling apart. That my mate cheated on me because I am an Alpha and she is my Luna. I wanted to walk away, but it’s not like I could with there being questions. Questions I just didn’t want to answer right now. So here I was with a beautiful girl on my lap. A beautiful girl who just had my dick in her mouth until I couldn’t contain myself. I guess this is what happens when you haven’t had any kind of contact in a while. I’d rather be here than anywhere near the one who broke my heart. So when I had Makayla hide it was her. She followed me because she wanted to talk. I wasn’t ready for that but it wouldn’t do us any good either way. When the curtain opened up I was shocked and I think so were they. It hit me when Ally started sniffing that she would be able to smell me on her so it was time to get out. I grabbed Ally and rushed her out of the room.

“Hey, I just wanted a dance. She was hot.” She commented.

It was like Ally trying to find light in a dark place but there wasn’t any.

“Go back home. I don’t want you here.”

I stormed out of the VIP section and made my way to the front of the club but cheering could be heard all around.

“Nephew, you didn’t tell me your mate was going to be here.”

Alpha Knox had walked over and pulled her into a hug. My eyes reverted to the daggers that were burning a hole in the side of my cheek. Makayla was up there.

“You must be so proud of him. Soon you will rule next to him.” Alpha Knox continued.

This whore was just soaking it in. I couldn’t focus on her when there was an unfinished conversation with the stripper who just made my last two days hectic. She was reading me all over again and I was a locked book not wanting to accept the reality.

Makayla

I watched from the balcony. The mistake I wish I could take back. When two wrongs aren’t supposed to make a right it makes you feel dirty. Used. This is why I don’t do romance because all it does is break you down little by little. Having to adjust everything that you’re used to so that you can fit in with someone who is going to make you cry more than once. I wanted to take it back but his taste was still in my mouth and the way his tongue intertwined with mine is now imprinted into my soul. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist caused me to panic but it was Ryan. 

“You never answered me.”

I needed normal again. My normal.

“Yeah, let’s go on a date.”

His lips meeting my cheek didn’t feel normal. I cut past his arms and quickly hurried to the locker room. He is going to be my Alpha which meant that I was going to see him all the time. He ruined my peace with his sad broken eyes! I was a sucker for the damn sad eyes! I slammed my hand into the locker and rested my forehead there.

“Fuck!”

That was all I could think. I changed out of my work clothes and decided going out the back was probably for the best. I didn’t want to see Ryan or Arson at this moment. A bottle of wine and the comfort of my couch were all I needed.