Chapter 4

Nagising ako dahil sa hikbing narinig ko. Nang iminulat ko ang aking mga mata, nakita ko si Logan sa tabi ko habang mariing hinawakan ang aking kamay.

"Oh, God! Thanks you're awake." Nakita ko sa mukha ni Logan ang pag-aalala. "I thought...I thought you would leave me." Dumapo sa mukha niya ang palad at hinilamos ang hangin.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras akong tulog. Siguro nakita ni Logan kung paano kapangit akong matulog. Humihilik pa ako minsan.

"You want to eat?" He raised his brows, kept on holding my hands.

I shook my head. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon sa hinihigaang hindi ko naman alam kung kanino.

"W-Why?" Nakatitig sa akin si Logan kaya kitang-kita niya kung paano ako bumalikwas nang mabilis at tiningnan ang buong sulok ng paligid.

"Where am I?"

"My...home," sagot niya. "Larson went outside with Minuette. Lolo stormed out to my room when he found you, laying down while burying your head on my neck."

Bigla akong kinapitan ng hiya nang ikinuwento niya 'yon. Parang gusto ko na lang tuloy lumipad sa bintana.

He chuckled. "Lolo will visit you later, Viv."

Imbis na matuwa ako, biglang naglaho ang pagkagulat ko sa kuwarto at napalitan 'yon ng kaba. His lolo might shooe me away. At ayaw kong mangyari 'yon. Baka sabihin niyang hindi dapat ako naririto.

"Diyan ka muna," he tapped my head. "I'll get something for you."

Hindi ako nakasagot sa daming bumabagabag sa isipan ko. All I want at this moment is to fly away from this house. Hindi ko naman alam na magkapatid pala ang dalawa dahil hindi sila pareho ng surname. And I found out that Logan is adopted.

Pero bakit siya pa 'ata 'tong lumaking walang tunay na magulang, pero respetado naman?

The door creaked and I thought it was Logan. Pero nagulat na lamang ako nang may isang lalaking pumasok. Nasa katandaan na ito ngunit mababakas ko pa rin ang kakisigan nito.

"Why are you here?" He roamed his eyes and finally landed on me. "You're supposed to be at your house today, Vivianne."

Hell no! He knows me? Pero ako? Hindi ko siya kilala?

"Uhm...sir, I am Vivia—"

"Right. You were." Lumapit siya sa akin at umupo sa silya sa gilid ng higaan ko. "Why are you inflecting venom inside your body, hija?"

My heart starts throbbing. Anong venom? Wala akong naintindihan sa sinabi niya.

"Sir, ano pong ibig niyong sabihin?"Negative thoughts stormed in my head.

"Hindi mo alam? You are even entering a game which you cannot even pursue to win," he said without even stuttering. Gusto kong kumuha ng cell phone at i-translate ang sinabi niya.

I looked back at the door and hoped that Logan would come.

"Logan is an amazing man. I raised him since he was a ki—"

"Lolo Jones?" Maligayang tinawag ni Logan ang lolo niya at lumapit sa akin.

He hugged me first before putting the paper bag on the bedside table.

"How are you going today, 'lo?" Walang reaksyon ang matanda sa naging tanong niya. Bagkus ay nagpakawala 'yon ng buntonghininga.

Nagkatinginan kami no'ng lolo niya. And it feels awkward dahil hindi man lang siya umiwas ng tingin. He surveyed my whole face until he faced Logan. "Ito ba 'yong babaeng kasintahan ni Larson, Russ?"

Logan looked at me, eyes twinkling.

But when Logan smiled, those thoughts faded away.

"She is, Lolo," aniya. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya nang makita ko ang reaksyon nito.

May sekreto ako, kaya takot akong titigan sa mata. Baka makita nila. His lolo stared at me like he wanted to devour me.

"Bakit niya naman ipinagpalit?"

"Correction pala, 'lo," tumawa siya. "She's not his girlfriend. She's...his toy."

"But Larson sometimes makes me feel that I am important. Ni minsan niya ring ipinaramdam sa akin na mahal niya ako," sabad ko. "It's just...he really doesn't deserve a person like me or he cannot see his future in me."

"Your words make sense," wika ng matanda. "You're his toy. Sa umpisa lang importante, sa umpisa lang...mahal," matapang niyang wika. "Kaya hindi na kaakit-akit sa kaniyang mata kapag tapos na niyang gamitin."

"He will find diverse toys, but none of them will stay." Tumayo ang lolo niya. "Minuette is beautiful but yo—"

"Lolo!" si Logan na biglaang tumayo at pinantayan ang matanda. Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin bago bumuntonghininga.

"But you..." binitin niya 'yon dahilan upang mas lalong lumakas ang pagtambol ng puso ko. "You are rare! No one is as pretty as you. You are gold."

I nodded, even though I cannot understand some of his lines.  "Lolo...pasensya na po, ha? Pero hindi ko po naintindihan ang sinasabi niyo."

"Soon you will know and understand," he said and both of them nodded. "You just need to put a mirror in front of you so that you will see how beautiful the toy he left is."

Tuluyan na siyang tumayo at lumabas. Tumango lang siya kay Logan at tinapunan lang ako ng tingin.

Maybe he was right. Sinabi niya ring isa akong laruan. Is it because I am easy to get? Dahil ba... nakuha ako ni Larson ng gano'n lang?

"Vivianne, you need to eat."

Nasa terrace ako habang pinoproseso ang sinabi ni Lolo Jones.

Dahil sa ayaw kong may kausap, tinanggihan ko siya. Gusto ko munang mapag-isa.

"What else did lolo tell you, hmm?" He was about to caress my hair when I avoided him. Nagulat pa siya.

"Talaga bang laruan lang ako?" I smiled to suppress the pain I felt.

"You aren't, Vivianne."

"I am, Logan." Sumandal ako sa upuan at tumingala. "Tama si Lolo Jones, sa umpisa lang masaya. I am a toy, Loga—"

He pulled me closer to him and owned my lips. Na-estatwa ako sa ginawa niya at alam kong malaking pagkakamali 'yon.

"If you cannot find the answer on your own, just remember this kiss. You will then see that you were beautifully made, Vivianne Layne Pariscova."