Pain and Sorrow

1 year ago. Before everything fell apart. 

“You promised to be with me forever?” 

It was their 9th anniversary, and they celebrated in the small restaurant by the street of their home. They don’t have time to book somewhere elegant, so they decided to celebrate it simple. Sam and Zach sat down by the table, waiting for their order. The sweet and serene music played over the speakers, adding the cozy and romantic atmosphere in. Sam couldn’t help but to stare at him fixatedly. 

Zach is the only rest she has known. After 9 years of being with him, she couldn’t help to fall in love further. Everything about him was perfect. Zach sighed, uttering sadly, “I’m sad now, you know.”

“Why?” 

“The rank of my show goes down on like… 100 units. That’s a 20 person lost listeners on our show.” Zach doesn’t want any failure in life, but this doesn’t mean everything he does will lead to a wrong path. Sam understood the statistics of the radio show, and everything that follows with the drama show. They’re both successful in their fields, and they’re not going to exchange it into something new. 

“Zach, I lost a hundred watchers every day on my show because of a sudden plot twist. I don’t know why you’re so down with just… losing 20 people in your audience.” Sam and Zach chuckled. He reached out to Sam’s hand propped up in the middle of the table, and she let him. Entwining her fingers with him, Sam couldn’t live another moment like this with other man. Zach became a part of her life, and she couldn’t rid of it.

“Let’s live like this forever.” Soothing the back of her hand, Zach stared at how smooth it was. Sam squeezed it, nodding. She asked the question, and Zach answered. That is the most overwhelming assurance it has happened. 

“Sure. I will be with you forever.” It’s so cheesy Zach smiled sweetly. The romantic music transitioned to something upbeat, and the moment became lively. Those simple exchanges of words have longed to enter her mind once again, and make her heart flutter every single moment. 

…

Present time, when everything fell apart, and the promise of forever vanished. 

Sam couldn’t get rid of the ache in her chest. It was too loud, too cold to embrace. Lyza was driving to the place where her home is. She was silent, too, letting the atmosphere be as quiet as it is. Sam wiped her cheeks. No sobs, no such thing as loud cries. She battled out the memories inside her mind that made her baffled. Why does she have to stay silent like this? 

Maybe the pain became numb as it is. Being inside the undeniable pain shattered you repeatedly that if it happened again, everything will be the same again. Sam looked out the window, staring at the people who rushed to get home. Comparing it to her, she lost half of her home. Lyza averted her eyes to her friend. Sam has a whole world revolving around her sadness, and it took her awhile to notice Lyza beside her. 

She let it go for a while. 

… 

Sam draped her towel around while Lyza served her a hot chocolate in a big mug. She was still down, her face was puffier, and her eyes were reddish from crying. The unexpected turn of events earlier was such a shocking scene for Lyza. Sam stood where she had to, and even it was painful, everything was just correct in its lane. 

Sam didn’t even pick up the hot chocolate, and stayed there, sitting down. Lyza sighed, being the silent company in the stroll from Sam’s house down to her home. Sam was the first one to initiate a conversation, “How can everything change in just a year?” 

Everything hasn’t been the same anymore. Those rocky roads they have been together in the first place made Sam and Zach stronger than ever, but it cut the ties. It loosened the strength and grasp on each other. The tears resurfaced once again in the brim of her eyes, and she kept asking, “How did even Zach thought about cheating behind my back? I don’t understand it at all.” 

It was just wrong, in all places. It was the truth becoming a lie. 

Lyza gritted her teeth. “That Stacy Lazaro didn’t even have the upper hand on you. She was a friend that blamed you for an incident, am I right? She’s such a thick-faced, con woman.” 

The anger was evident in Lyza’s tone. Sam couldn’t feel anything, but her tears said the otherwise. Her entire body recognized the pain, and it acted on its own. Sam shook her head, asking, “Why is that woman always around whenever I’m happy?” 

Sam and Stacy didn’t share a good history together. There is someone that will uncover the mask about Stacy’s attitude. It was such a cruel confession if it happened. Lyza sighed, saying, “I know how hard it was to cope up with it, Sam, but I always tell you I’m here. It was for you, alright?” 

Sam shook her head, finally sobbing after waiting for it in eternity. It burst out like a bubble. Something inside her ached after a while. She gritted her teeth, covering her eyes, and that’s when she thoroughly cried. Behind closed doors, with nothing but Lyza’s eyes could see. Sam was such a fool for not seeing it in his devious eyes. 

Zach hurt her feelings, and that’s what mattered. 

…

Stacy couldn’t leave her eyes from Zach across the table. She draped the towel around his shoulders right after Sam left him alone in their house’s pavement. She prepared a dark chocolate, too, to lessen his stress a bit. But in his case, Zach wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. They’ve been sitting at the table for half an hour, and Stacy didn’t want to leave him alone. 

Zach unnoticeably spoke up. “So this is the pain felt like.” 

Stacy couldn’t figure out the emotion she should thrive. In this case, everything about Sam and Zach’s relationship ended… because of her temptation. She couldn’t resist her attraction to him, and it ended up in a chaos. It became such a drastic ending of the two lovers who unconditionally love and grown each other after a decade. Stacy was the one who intercept the smooth line of vehicles in a downtown street, meddling in with the traffic, making them stuck in their places. 

Stacy was an intruder. 

“That slap was all the pain I inflicted to her. It’s all there.” Zach shouldn’t be talking about Sam in front of her mistress, but he do. Stacy only listened. It was too humiliating to even converse with. Zach realized how much he toyed with two hearts at once. He’s such a player. 

Zach hissed, the tears flowing down his cheeks. He tried not to sob, but it still came out. Stacy didn’t move at all. Instead, she stayed there, even if it meant she was a silent company. Zach shook his head, his heart aching.

… 

“Mr. Gonzales, are you sure you’re alright?” He just had three hours of sleep. Zach dismissed Stacy to go home to her house, and she did without hesitation. He needed some time alone last night, and when he laid down in the bed, with Sam and Stacy’s scent wafting his nose, the tears resurfaced. It’s the ending, right? And it wasn’t that good. 

Zach looked up at his computer screen. He’s too busy dealing with manuscripts to type in. Even though he has red eyes, his hands can still function well. His mind was just pre-occupied of the scenes that happened last night between the three of them. Zach nodded at his teammate, saying, “I’m fine. I’m completely… fine. You can continue your work there. We still have hours before dismissal.” 

His new teammate just nodded, and gripped the clipboard. Later on, they have a special broadcast for a letter written by a celebrity. It was such a special tale between two lovers who didn’t end up being together, despite confessing their feelings with each other. Zach typed in his computer once again, keeping himself busy. Everything else was just a distraction to him, and he needed to get away from that. 

In between the morning routine of their work, Sam entered his mind occasionally. It was such a drastic change for him. Hoping for everything to come back to normal, it’s slim. Everything Zach had gotten used to, it dispersed and a dreadful change came. 

When the lunch hour came, he decided to go alone. Slipping his hands inside his pants, he sighed, looking at the far end of the hanging bridge, and widened his eyes. Zach saw the one he’s looking for. He halted, seeing Sam flipping the pages just like a normal woman would do. She must have gotten papers to approve of, and another drama coming. 

Samantha Lee is a brilliant writer. And nothing could change Zach’s mind about her being a woman. Sam sensed a person standing in her way, and she froze when Zach came into view. 

They both stared into each other’s eyes.