Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

He was working when I entered the room. He didn’t even give me a single glance. Umirap ako at pumasok na sa banyo. While showering, I kept on thinking why he was mad. Ano bang nagawa ko para magalit siya? At akala ko ba walang pakielamanan?

I went out wearing my sleepwear. I brushed my hair using my fingers while slowly walking towards the bed. Hinintay kong tumingin siya sa akin pero hindi nangyari ‘yon. Umirap akong muli at inayos nalang ang space ko sa kama. Umupo ako sa kama at hihiga na sana nang magsalita siya. 

“Aren’t you going to tell me where you went?” he asked with a cold voice with his eyes still on the screen of his laptop. 

“Why do you have to know?” sabi ko habang nakatingin sa laptop niya.

Up until now, I don’t have a phone! Gusto ko nang marinig ang boses ni Laurel!

I saw how his jaw clenched when I looked at him. Tumalim ang tingin niya sa laptop at mas umingay ang pag-tipa niya sa kaniyang keyboard. Kumunot na ang noo ko dahil nararamdaman ko na ang galit niya na hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling. 

“I have your schedule, Archella. Alam ko kung anong oras ang labas mo. I would understand if you ate with your friends but you spent so many fucking hours with them and you went home almost midnight. What do you want me to do? Be happy?!” he angrily said as he lifted his gaze on me. Bigla ay gusto ko mag-iwas ng tingin. 

“Bakit meron kang schedule ko?!” Instead of answering his question, what he said in the first part caught my attention more. 

“I am asking you so don’t change the topic. Saan kayo galing?” I could hear the anger and strictness in his voice. I almost shivered. 

Hinila ko nalang ang kumot at pumikit na.

Bakit ba gusto niyang malaman? At kapag nalaman niya, ano ba ang gagawin niya?

“Archella!” He roared when I ignored him. 

“Stop it! I’m tired, okay? I want to sleep!” inis na sabi ko. Akala ko’y hahayaan niya na ako nang dahil sa sinabi kong ‘yon pero nagulat ako nang marahas niyang tinanggal ang kumot ko at lumapit sa ‘kin. My eyes widened because my clothes got lifted up, my legs are exposed!

“What did you do? Why are you tired?” This time, the anger in his voice made me shiver. I swallowed hard when our eyes locked. He’s holding both of my arms while looking straight at me. Halos napatitig na ako sakaniya pero kagad ding bumalik sa katinuan. I kicked his leg.

“Pwede ba?!” iritado kong sigaw. “Why are you acting like this? Akala ko ba walang pakielamanan?!” 

What I’ve just said seemed to hit him. His face relaxed and he immediately looked away. He also let go of my hands and pulled back away from me. Tuloy-tuloy ang naging paglunok ko nang makitang umalis siya sa kama at kinuha ang laptop. 

“W-Where are you going?” I asked, confused. 

Hindi niya ako tinignan pero kinuha niya ang kumot at wala sa sariling tinakpan ang katawan ko. Pagkatapos no’n ay naglakad na siya palabas pero natigilan nang magsalita ulit ako.

“Where are you going, Raven?” tanong ko ulit dahil hindi niya naman ako sinagot kanina. 

“I’m going to work outside. You said you’re tired, ma-iingayan ka lang sa keyboard ko. Go to sleep,” he answered with his back facing me. Pinanood ko kung paano siya lumabas ng pinto. Nang makalabas siya ay hindi kagad ako nakatulog dahil iniisip ko ang naging reaksyon niya kanina.

Gusto ko sana siyang sundan pero paano kung galit pa rin siya sa akin? Mag-aaway na naman kami?

Pinilit kong matulog pero hindi ko magawa lalo na’t alam kong hindi pa rin bumabalik si Raven. Nakatitig lang ako sa pinto, hinihintay siyang pumasok pero hindi nangyari ‘yon. Bumangon ako at dahan-dahang naglakad papunta sa pinto.

Should I go down to check on him? 

I slowly opened the door and went down without making a noise. Akala ko’y nagtatrabaho siya pero nagulat ako sa nakita. Nakahiga na siya sa sofa habang ang laptop ay nasa center table. I swallowed so hard when I saw his laptop. I walked toward him to check if he was in deep sleep. I bit my lower lip, thinking if I should do it. 

I sighed before getting his laptop. Pinapanood ko siya habang dahan-dahang kinukuha ang laptop. Ang kaba sa aking dibdib ay hindi ko mapaliwanag. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang mahawakan ko na ang laptop. Dumeretso ako sa may garden at umupo sa bench. I opened his laptop but it has a password! 

“Shit…” I muttered when the name I typed failed. I typed his full name and even any possible names he’d use as his password. 

Napatingin ako sa hint na lumabas at hindi ko alam kung bakit ako natigilan. The hint said ‘MBA.’ 

I don’t know someone whose initials are MBA. I just gave up and put his laptop back on the center table. I turned my back on him but when I heard his snore, I looked back. I pouted as I watched him sleep. He’s covering his eyes with his arm. 

“You’re spacing out, Arc. Problema mo?” Jade asked.

“Oh, I was just thinking of something.”

“Ano ‘yan? Love life?” Khalil asked as he got seated in front of me. We’re in the cafeteria right now to grab some food. May free time kami kaya naman narito kami at magkakasama. Pare-parehas kami ng course pero iba-iba ng section. Kami lang ni Khalil ang magkasama sa isang section pero iba na si Jade at Amara. They’re my only solid friends here. 

“Love life kagad? Hindi ba pwedeng nag-iisip siya kung anong pagkain gusto niya?” si Amara na inirapan ang lalaki sa harapan ko. 

“Malay mo!” Khalil shot back. “So, care to share?” Bumaling ito sa ‘kin bago kumagat sa shawarma na hawak. 

I want to tell them what happened to me but I don’t think I’m ready. They are my friends and I know that they will understand me… but I’m not prepared. 

“Kung ayaw magsabi, hayaan niyo!” Jade said which made me sigh. I gave her a smile and she just nodded at me. 

All of my classes ended with Raven not leaving my mind. I was too preoccupied that I didn’t notice Khalil asking me if I wanted to join them. This is our routine after class, to hang out and eat. Gusto kong sumama… but remembering last time, I felt the need to reject them.

“Next time nalang ako, Khal,” sabi ko at kumunot naman ang noo niya. 

Lumapit siya sa akin at dinampi ang likod ng palad sa noo ko. “Okay ka lang ba? Masama ba pakiramdam mo? Kanina ka pang walang gana,” concerned niyang sabi. 

Ngumiti ako at kinurot ang pisngi niya. “I’m okay!”

“Pero sure ka na ba? You don’t wanna join?” Tumaas ang kilay niya. Tumango naman ako dahil balak ko talagang umuwi nang maaga ngayon. 

Katulad nang sinabi ko, umuwi na rin kagad ako. Alam kong wala pa si Raven dahil nagtatrabaho pa ‘yun at baka late ulit uuwi. I married Raven for business but I don’t have any interest in their company nor their business. I just want to graduate and work already to go back to the life I used to have. 

This time, without Raven, I got the chance to appreciate the house. It was plain but it passed my taste. I’m not into so many designs. I just want everything to be minimal. Dumeretso na rin ako sa kusina para maghanap ng lulutuin. Idadamay ko si Raven kahit na hindi niya kinain ang huling luto ko. This is just a peace offering but I won’t cook for him next time! 

I’m just scared that he’d tell my parents about that day when I went home at almost midnight. Back in our house, kung hindi si Laurel, palagi akong pinapagalitan whenever I go home late with my friends. My parents were strict and I sometimes felt suffocated. I know that they want the best for me but I also have limits. 

I don’t want to be scolded. I know that they will bring up Raven, that I’m already a married woman, yet I’m still doing everything I want. But was I really ready to be married? I didn’t choose to be married. I didn’t choose Raven to be my husband. I was free back then… so free with Laurel.

While cooking, I thought of secretly buying a phone. Hindi naman siguro nila malalaman? At kung malalaman nila, manlalaban ako. 

I waited for him while doing my activities. I need a laptop for academic purposes, siguro naman ay papayagan na nila ako. Kung hindi pa rin, they are being too much and they need to stop it already. I already did what they wanted me to do.

“Is he going home late again?” I asked myself while staring at the food in front of me. I made sure it tastes great so that my peace offering wouldn’t be offensive. Baka sabihin niya, sinadya kong masama ang lasa ng pagkain.

My eyelids were heavy already when my stomach made a sound. I blew a breath as I looked at the clock. It’s already 12 midnight. Kahit gusto ko siyang tawagan, hindi ko magawa dahil ano naman ang gagamitin ko? For sure, he brought his laptop with him. 

I stood up to stay awake. I walked back and forth and even re-heated the food because it won’t taste good if it’s cold. My stomach was hurting already because I didn’t eat anything.

I want to say sorry to him, okay? Fine, it’s not just because I’m afraid he’d tell my parents, it’s because I made him mad and I’m actually aware of why he’s damn angry at me. He… He was worried.

Tinakpan ko muna ang pagkain at lumabas. I hugged myself while standing outside. Palinga-linga ako, hinihintay ang pagdating ng sasakyan niya pero hindi ‘yon nangyari. I waited for him… I really tried my best to wait for him but I couldn’t bear staying awake anymore. I laid down on the sofa and let myself sleep. 

I was upset the next day. Napanis ang niluto kong pagkain, sayang lang. 

I skipped my early class because I decided to go to his office. It turns out that he didn’t go home. I thought that I would see him when I woke up but no one was there, I was all alone in that empty house!

I just sent a text to Amara that I couldn’t attend and she said that she will cover for me. I never stepped foot in their building. This is the first time that I will come here… and for him! Kung hindi lang ako takot at galit ay hinding-hindi ako aapak dito!

The guard smiled at me and I smiled back. When I reached the lobby, the woman gave me a warm smile.

Hindi niya naman siguro sinabi na kasal na siya ‘di ba? At mas lalong hindi niya sinabi kung kanino siya ikinasal?

“I’d like to see Mr. Idan Raven De Leon,” I said to the woman in the lobby. She looked at me twice before checking something.

“Do you have an appointment with him?” she asked as she looked at my clothes. Tumingin din ako sa damit ko nang dahil sa sinabi niya. I’m wearing my school clothes. It’s not a uniform but it’s obvious that I’m still a student. 

“Uh…” Huli na nang maisip ko na kailangan nga pala noon. Nakalimutan ko yata ang sistema?

“You will have to set an appointment with him, Ma’am. He has a busy schedule and he won’t allow clients without appointments,” she explained while looking at me as if there was a problem with what I’m wearing. 

My brow shot up when I saw her smirking. I almost asked her what’s the problem but then I heard a familiar voice behind me. 

“Hija, oh my! You visited!” Umikot ako at nanlaki ang mga mata nang makita si Mrs. De Leon. 

“Good morning, Mrs. De Leon,” I greeted as I bowed a bit. 

Lumapit siya sa ‘kin at b****o. Natawa pa siya. She held my arm before speaking. “Ano ka ba, hija! You’re family! Call me Mama, please…” My eyes widened because I knew that the lady in the cubicle was listening.

“Ah…” I awkwardly smiled. 

“Come here, come here!” aniya at marahan akong hinila. Naglakad kami papunta sa elevator at nang bumukas ‘yon ay pumasok nalang ako kasabay niya. Hindi ko pa alam ang sasabihin dahil nabigla ako sa nangyari. Hindi ko inaasahan na magkikita kami. 

“You’re here to visit my son? Naku, buti nalang at bumisita ka! He’s so busy with work! Balita sa akin ng secretary niya, nakakalimutan niya na raw ang kumain minsan!” she started. I just smiled because I don’t know what to reply! 

I want to tell her what happened last night but of course, I don’t want to reveal his doing to his parents. Kung gaano ako katakot na malaman ng mga magulang ang ginagawa, ganoon din siguro siya. Kaya hindi ko gagawin sakaniya ang ayaw kong mangyari sa akin. 

“He actually forgot some files…” I lied. 

“Oh, is that so?” aniya at sakto namang bumukas na ang elevator. “I’ll call his secretary to lead you, okay? I just need to go to this meeting!” she said as she kissed my cheek. Nang makaalis siya ay saktong may lumapit sa akin na isang babae. 

“Ah, hello po! I’m Maria, and I’m Mr. De Leon’s secretary!” The girl greeted me brightly. 

“Hi!” bati ko naman pabalik. Nagsimula na kaming maglakad at sumusunod lang ako sakaniya. Tinulak niya ang isang pinto at bumungad sa amin ang desk na siguro ay para kay Maria. May isa pang pinto at malamang, ‘yon na ang kay Raven. 

“Mrs. De Leon told me that my boss left a file and you brought it. Ako na po ang magbibigay sakaniya,” aniya at inilahad ang kamay. 

“Ah no, ako na ang magbibigay. Can I enter?” I asked while looking at the door.

“Oh! You can leave it to me naman po. Wala rin kasi si Sir,” she said, which made my brows furrow. 

I licked my lower lip. “Wala siya? Where did he go?” 

“He went out for breakfast with Ms. Marianne Beige Arellano.” 

I left the building to go to the place Maria said. Sabi ni Mrs. De Leon, nakakalimutan niyang kumain pero may panahon pala siya para kumain kasama si Marianne Beige. I don’t know the woman but her name sounds familiar. 

“Dito nalang po,” I said to the taxi driver and then I paid. Bumaba ako at tumingin sa isang mamahaling café na nasa harapan ko. Medyo malayo sa building ng D’Leon. Hindi ko mapigilan na magalit dahil kaya pala hindi siya nakauwi ay dahil may kasama palang iba. 

I entered the café and my eyes immediately roamed around. A waiter assisted me and I settled down on a table first. Kinuha ko ang menu sa table para itakip sa mukha. Binaba ko lang nang kaunti para mahanap ko kung nasaan sila. 

“Wow…” I scoffed when I finally saw them. Nakatalikod sa akin ang babae samantalang nakaharap naman sa ‘kin si Raven kaya kung hindi ako magtatago, makikita niya kagad ako. 

The waiter went to me to get my order. I just order an iced coffee and strawberry cake. I watched them as they eat, talk, and laugh. I wonder what they are talking about.

Hindi ba naisip ni Raven na hinihintay ko siyang umuwi kagabi? O hindi man lang sumagi sa isip niya na umuwi? What, is he still mad? Kung sana ay umuwi siya!

“This is your strawberry cake and iced coffee, Ma’am. Enjoy!” The waiter said while placing the food in front. I sighed as I put the menu down. Hindi niya naman siguro ako makikita dahil sobrang busy siya sa pakikipagtawanan kay Marianne Beige. 

I rolled my eyes while eating the strawberry cake. I tried my best to focus on eating but I couldn’t stop myself from looking at them! Mabilis ko nalang na tinapos ang pagkain kahit na gusto ko pang namnamin. 

I paid for the bill before standing up. I skipped class for nothing! It’s just a waste of time! Sana pala ay hindi nalang ako pumunta rito. This is just so stupid of me. Bakit ba ako nag-expect na magkikita kami at mag-uusap? Have I forgotten our deal?

I walked away from the table, upset. I was about to go past them when I heard a mention of my name. I froze but when I realized that it was Raven and he saw me, I walked so fast. Pumara kagad ako ng taxi at sumakay na. Hindi pa sobrang nakakalayo ang sinasakyan ko nang makita ko si Raven na lumabas at tila hinahabol ng tingin ang taxi na sinakyan ko. 

Even with an absent attendance from some of my classes, I still attended the rest. It was Khalil who noticed that I’m not in the mood. 

“Are you really fine, Arc? Parang wala ka sa sarili mo these past few days?” he asked while we were walking down the hallway. 

“Honestly, I’m not fine. I have so much in my mind right now,” I admitted because that was the truth. 

“You know, I’m all ears.” He stopped walking. “Dito muna tayo sa bench.” 

“No, it’s fine. Kaya ko naman! ‘Tsaka isa pa, hinihintay tayo ni Amara at Jade,” sabi ko at hinigit na ang manggas ng damit ni Khalil. 

He pouted. “Hmm, sige na nga. Basta magsabi ka lang, ah?” 

“Yes, Sir!” 

I tried to get Raven off my mind and I was a bit successful because my friends were there and I got carried away with all of their chikas. 

“No, it was an arranged marriage!” Jade corrected Amara. They were talking about our old classmate back in first-year College who just got married last year. 

“Really? Sabi they were in love with each other naman!” Amara looked so confused while I’m just listening. I stayed quiet because I kind of relate to their topic but I don’t want them to know.

“Hindi raw. She told me that the day they got married was just the second time she saw him!” 

“Pero mukhang masaya na sila ngayon. They’re in love with each other, girls. ‘Yon ang mahalaga,” si Khalil na akala namin ay hindi nakikinig dahil busy sa pagbabasa.

“Posible pala talaga ‘yon, ano? What do you think, Arc?” Jade turned to me.

I was caught off guard. I feel like something got stuck in my throat and I couldn't answer right away. 

“Uh, it d-depends naman. If they have already accepted the fact that they are married a-and they have decided to work it out, maybe it’s possible talaga.” I still managed to answer kahit na kinakabahan ako.

But to tell the truth, hindi ko alam kung saan ko nahagilap ang sagot na ‘yon. I just spilled out without thinking too much.

All of my classes ended, and as usual, nag-aaya na sila lumabas. Kung nasa mood akong umuwi nang maaga, hindi ako sasama sakanila at pipiliin nalang na dumeretso na sa bahay pero nang dahil sa nakita ko kanina, naisip ko na okay lang kung sasama ako sa mga kaibigan ko at magpapakasaya dahil ‘yon ang ginagawa ni Raven. 

Bakit ba muntik ko nang makalimutan ang deal namin? At bakit ba natakot ako na isusumbong niya ako gayong wala naman kaming nararamdaman para sa isa’t isa para magsabi pa sa mga magulang namin. Isa pa, mukha namang nawala na ang galit niya dahil sobrang lawak ng ngiti niya roon sa babae. 

“The usual ba?” I asked Amara. Nandito kami sa sasakyan ni Khalil and they are planning to go to this club. 

“Hindi, try natin ‘yung kabila! Bagong bukas ‘yon, baka darating ‘yung mga taga-kabilang university!” excited na sabi ni Amara habang nagsisimula nang mag-ayos ng make up. 

“Pwede na ba ‘tong suot ko?” I asked as I scanned my clothes. 

“That’s okay, Arc,” si Khalil sa unahan na nagmamaneho. He winked at me playfully through the rearview mirror. 

“Your clothes are fine but I’m prepared!” Umalis sa pagkaka-upo si Amara at may kinuhang paper bag sa likod ng sasakyan. Narinig ko ang pagtawa ni Jade. “Akala ko kasi hindi ka sasama, buti nagdala pa rin ako in case of emergency.”

“Shit, ang ganda so much!” Jade pulled my hair jokingly. 

“Naroon yata ‘yung varsity na may crush sa ‘yo, Arc!” tili ni Amara. 

“Tumigil ka nga!” saway naman ni Khalil na tinawanan naming tatlo.

Nang makapasok kami ay sinalubong kagad kami ng mga kakilala. Dinumog si Khalil ng mga babae samantalang tawa nang tawa naman ang dalawa kong kaibigan. I just laughed with them when I saw Khalil being pulled by a girl. 

We got seated on the couch and there were drinks prepared in front of us already. We congratulated the owner and he sat on our couch. He’s a graduate of our school and we’re kind of close since he was our senior. He paid for our drinks, kaya naman tuwang-tuwa ang mga kasama ko. 

I don’t wanna get drunk but when I remembered what happened earlier made me drink non-stop. It’s just so stupid of me to even go there! Dapat hindi na ako nagpunta dahil walang kwenta rin naman. 

“Are you planning to poison yourself?” Khalil said as he snatched my I don’t know shot. My sight was already blurry and my head’s spinning already. I laughed at Khalil and tried to get the shot back but he was persistent in not letting me drink anymore. 

“N-Nasaan na s-si Jade at Amara?” I still managed to ask the whereabouts of my friends kahit na hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari sa paligid. 

“They are both wasted and they’re already in the car. Come on, let’s go home,” aniya at namalayan ko nalang na binuhat niya na ako. 

“Oh, bro! Alis na kagad kayo?” A man tapped Khalil’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, sorry. I gotta bring my girls home.” 

Natawa ako nang makita ang itsura ng dalawa sa loob. They looked dead! Oh my god!

“You girls! We’re not going to drink again! Sumasakit ang ulo ko lalo sainyo!” rinig ko pang reklamo ni Khalil habang pinapaandar na ang sasakyan. Humagikhik ako at sinandal ang ulo sa bintana.

What time is it?

“H-Hey…” I turned to Khalil. I’m sitting on the shotgun seat.

“Ano?” tanong ni Khalil na halatang mainit ang ulo nang dahil sa nangyari.

“A-Anong teym na?” I asked without understanding my words. 

“What are you saying?”

“I said anong oras na?!” I rolled my eyes at him. 

“It’s already 3 in the morning, Ma’am.”

My brows shot up and I nodded. 3 in the morning? Okay.

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