Chapter 20

{BERNNY ULYSSES POV}

She is my first love. His name brings a beautiful melody to my ears. I'm not a vicious person, but every time I glimpse her beauty, I feel like I'm intoxicated and more obsessed with her.

The smiles on his lips lighten my mood. Even his eyes are as if they are good to look at.

I tried to avoid and stay away from him. But I just fell more and more and my feelings for him deepened.

However I have to be careful and restrain myself. Because I don't want anyone to get hurt and break our friendship with Daniel.

"Bernie, thank you for everything." He suddenly said.

"Huh? What are you, I haven't done much for you." I replied while facing the mirror and adjusting my necktie.

"Actually, I know you have a secret crush on Lorna." When I heard what he said, I was stunned for a moment and turned to him.

"Thank you. Because you left her to me and still chose our friendship." He said more and then he came closer, hugging me at the same time.

I was almost shocked and speechless. My mind suddenly went blank and I couldn't believe what I heard.

All this time, he has known about my secret crush on Lorna for a long time. But he just ignored it and became selfish.

I feel like I have become a coward for my true feelings for him. I regret because I put other people's happiness more than my own happiness.

And he told me that on the very day of their wedding.

So when the organ started playing and the door opened, my tears fell even earlier - at the step of his feet.

It hurts. I feel so much pain that it feels like it's being torn apart but I'm trying to get back to what it was before.

If only I would have strengthened my heart or if only I would have tried to confess to him before.

Maybe,..

Maybe I am the man she will marry now and not Daniel.

And the worst thing of all was when he came closer but not to me, but to the man next to me. And like before, I was left alone. Looking at both of them and pretending to be happy.

After the wedding, I no longer attend their reception. I just went straight to a night club. I drowned in alcohol until I was drunk and I could pour out all the pain I felt.

I also met Tessie there. At first I thought he just wanted to have a drink with me, until we both got drunk and didn't realize what we were doing.

As soon as I woke up, we were in the room and lying next to each other on the bed. Naked and just stood up in shock when we turned to each other.

After that day, I did not expect that he was the son of the chairman of the company where my father worked. And I also found out that they had an agreement to marry the two of us.

At first I objected to their wish because I still loved Lorna. But after I saw her and Daniel happy together and that he was going to be the father of her pregnancy, I was even more hurt and sad. That's when I thought that I needed to move on in life. I need someone to move on and start a new life.

So I signed the agreement. I agreed to marry Tessie and eventually we were blessed with a little child. Stephen was the result of that agreement. It was against my will to marry another woman and have a family without Lorna as my companion. That's why I poured all that into getting drunk, going to the club every night, drinking with any girl or I would pour all the hate and regret I felt on Tessie.

That's the reason why we didn't have a good relationship. However, despite what I did, he did not divorce me. He was also always angry, screaming and crying, but I knew it was my fault too. It's all because of me. How many times have I seen in his eyes how important I am to him and how much he loves me. But I just ignored it for a long time. I became greedy, blind and deaf. Because everything between the two of us started with just one mistake and I can never change that.

Until I had a chance to see him again. I was in a restaurant at that moment, with my secretary and we were talking about my schedule.

Despite the conversation between the two of us, we were momentarily disturbed by the noise we heard.

"Do you know how much I love this polo?!" I turned to the shout of a man trying to call the manager of the restaurant.

"I'm really sorry sir, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw the soup on you." The repeated apologies of the female waitress to him.

I almost stood up when I heard his voice. I couldn't believe that in the size and breadth of the world I saw Lorna again.

"Sorry? Do you think that by apologizing I will be able to get past this slap you made?! Call your manager right now!" it still shouted at him.

"Sir, is there a problem?" asked the manager of the restaurant.

"What do you think?! Am I going to yell at this for no reason?!"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"What kind of training are you teaching your staff?! It's not only very unfashionable but also very clamsy! What are you going to do with my polo shirt that he spilled soup on?! You know how expensive is this?!" it pointed at them and almost looked at them all.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm really sorry! We'll take care of-"

"How much is your polo shirt?" I couldn't stand it anymore and approached them.

"And who are you? Are you the owner of this restaurant?" the male customer smiled at me. I calmly approached them while looking at Lorna who was just bowing.

"No. But I can buy this restaurant if I want to." I said to him at the same time he laughed out loud.

"You're not only curious, you're also very arrogant!" he replied.

"Well, maybe because I really have something to brag about. Is it you? What are you bragging about? Is that piece of cloth you're wearing that looks like you can only buy it somewhere?"

"Side to side? (He grinned at the same time.) Hey, mister. If I were you, just go back to your table. I guess you don't know who you're bumping into." He said with his arms crossed.

"Who are you? who are you and why should we be afraid of you?" I asked him which surprised him and he didn't speak immediately.

"I'm asking you, who are you?" I asked again but he seemed to have run out of things to say.

"How expensive is that polo shirt of yours? What brand is it? I'll change it." I approached him for a moment to look at the stamped brand on the back of his collar, but he quickly dodged and moved away from me.

"What are you doing?!" he said in surprise.

"I'll just take a look at what brand it is so I can replace it with a new one right away or if you want the most expensive brand I'll give you." I replied and he just winced on his lips again.

"You're so arrogant because you're rich. Is that really the behavior of people who are better at life?" When he said that, I grinned.

"Arrogant? What are you? What do you think you're doing now? Didn't you just recently embarrass him in front of all the people here and tell him how expensive that polo shirt you're wearing is? no why are you so arrogant?" I gently responded to him but he just looked around and suddenly left.

"Wait a minute!" I called him and he immediately stopped.

"It doesn't seem right that you just leave without paying for what you ate." He turned to me and looked at me evilly.

"Mr. Manager, what are you waiting for? charge him, before he even escapes." I told the manager of the restaurant and he rushed to the male customer.

"Are you okay?" I asked Lorna and she looked at me in surprise.

"Br-Bernny?" he said smiling.

"How are you? it's been such a long time, since we last met."

After that day I invited him to eat outside. To talk and talk with him about his current life situation.

I just learned from him that he and Daniel have been separated for a long time and that he is alone in life now. I felt sorry with a little joy in my heart. I thought that was my chance to correct all the mistakes I had made before and return what was due to me.

That's why I got her a job as a maid in my house. Although they are complete I just let slip that we need one more. He immediately agreed to my offer. I also noticed that he desperately needs money for his son's tuition. So I also paid him a good salary, more than what he earns at the restaurant. At least through that I can help him. And because of that, I want to be close to him again.

That desire of mine cannot be stopped by anyone. Even if it's my own child, I can't allow our supposed love story to be ruined again.

Bernny followed Lorna and found the mother and daughter arguing.

"Don't you really have even a little bit of shame left in your body?! Is this how far you'll take your charms!-" Bea said to her mother but she immediately stopped speaking when she slapped him on the cheek.

"Is that what you learned from that man?" Lorna said firmly to the girl who just touched her cheek and looked at her.

"Lorna!" Bernny suddenly called him and suddenly he approached them.

"Lorna, let's talk first." The gentleman said as he held Lorna's hand. Bea noticed that and looked at her mother again.

"We have nothing more to talk about, Bernny. Everything is clear to me." He said at the same time he removed his hand that was holding him. He just grabbed Bea by the wrist and started to leave, but the gentleman immediately stopped him and held him by the arm.

"Everything is not clear to me yet. Is that him? Is he our son?" Bernny said which surprised them both, especially Bea who suddenly turned to him.

"Bernny, what are you talking about?" Lorna frowned curiously.

"Have you forgotten what happened to us before? before you and Daniel got married." He replied at the same time the lady let go of her son's arm.

"What does he mean? what happened to you two?" the girl asked her mother, but she didn't answer and just bowed.

"I.. I'm your real father." Bernny said more that surprised Bea even more. The lady just turned to the man next to her and she couldn't believe what he was saying.

"P-po? but aren't you Stephen's father? How.. how did it happen-" he almost took a step back and looked back and forth between the two. His tears fell one after the other and he just ran away.

"Bea!" and the lady was about to follow him but Bernny immediately stopped her. He turned around and slapped the gentleman hard in the face.

"I can't understand why you have to lie in front of my son!" she shouted with tears in her eyes.

"Your son? He's my son too! Have you forgotten what happened between the two of us before?" he responded but she just slapped him again.

"You're really crazy! Bea is Daniel and I's daughter. And maybe you're forgetting, nothing happened to us that day!"

"And how can you be sure that he is Daniel's son?!"

"Because I was awake that day! The day you kidnapped me and tried to rape me!" when he said that, the gentleman's eyes widened in shock and could not believe what he found out.

"I know what you did to me in those moments Bernny! I still remember and that was the reason Daniel and I broke up. Because of you, because he found out what you did to me! He wants to find you and retaliate, but he can't do anything else because it's too late." The lady said and she took a deep breath for a moment.

"I know that nothing happened to us that day. I still believed in myself during those moments that you would not be able to destroy my honor and I was not disappointed, because your conscience also ate you and I know You regret it. That's why what you said to my son was pointless. You only hurt his feelings and made him believe your lies. I thought you had changed, Bernny. But I was wrong. I wish I hadn't accepted your offer. I wish I hadn't gone with you that night. It would have been better if I hadn't met you at all." Said the lady and then she turned her back. Bernny grabbed Lorna's hand again, but she just pushed it away and left.

WHILE on the other side where Tessie is packing clothes and Stephen stops her from leaving.

"Mom, where are you going?" he said as he followed her down the stairs carrying a large suitcase.

"I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore!" his mother replied and he met Bernny who had just entered the door.

"Where are you going, Tessie?" he asked his wife.

"I'm going to leave you! We're going to get a divorce Bernny. I can't stand the tricks you're doing to me anymore!" he shouted and rushed out the door. The gentleman didn't stop him, instead he persisted and walked towards the room.

"Is this what you want?" Stephen said suddenly and stopped walking for a moment.

"Is he that important to you? Is it possible that even if you destroy this family, you still don't care?!" added this promise that his father turned around.

"I don't want to argue with you, Stephen. I'm tired. I want to rest." This is a gentle response to the child.

"Bea. I love Bea!" he shouted, causing the gentleman to stop walking again. Stephen approached her and held her by the hand.

"I'm begging you. Please don't be an obstacle to our relationship." He pleaded with tears at the corners of his eyes.

"He's your brother."

"That's not true! a big lie!" he gave up and held his head.

"You and Bea are blood so you can't be together!"

"Shut up!!" he said emphatically as he threw the flower vase that was next to him to the floor. The gentleman was surprised and could not believe what he witnessed.

"What you say is not true. I love Bea and no matter what happens, I will never leave her." He said weakly while bowing his head and clenching his fist.

"There's nothing more I can do about it. I just said what's true." The old man said and then he continued to climb the stairs.

Stephen followed him into his room and quickly knelt in front of his father.

"I am begging you. Stay away from that girl. At least for the sake of your son and my own happiness. At least for this request you can grant me. You also know that I have never complained to you. You haven't heard a single word from me. I also didn't object to the arranged marriage between Sofia and me. That's why I hope you can help me this time." Stephen said as he knelt down and continued to have tears in his eyes.

"How did you know about Lorna?" he asked the young man.

"I didn't mean to read your diary before about him." He replied in a deep voice. The gentleman just sighed and looked at his son again.

"So all this time, you know what the truth is?" he said but she didn't answer him.

"Get out of my presence right now. I want to be alone." That's all he said and he went to his swivel chair but Stephen immediately stopped him and grabbed his right leg.

"Have mercy! I'm begging you. Let that girl go! Will you choose to be happy for others while your own child suffers? I thought, no parent can't tolerate their child?"

"Not all parents have the same desire in life, Stephen. At least once, even in the little time left in our lives we also want to be happy." After saying that, he left the room and slammed the door shut.

Stephen almost screamed out loud with so much anger. He stood up and threw all his belongings around on the floor.

He also punched the wall repeatedly and fell down. Manang Sora immediately went inside and approached him. He immediately noticed that his hand was bloody and the bleeding did not stop, so he grabbed a handkerchief and wrapped it around the young man's hand. After that, he just hugged the young man tightly and tried to calm him down.

"He's worthless father! He deserves to die!" Stephen suddenly pushed the old man and went out of the room to follow his father.

"Stephen! shark, DON'T!" Manang Sora shouted at him and he immediately chased after the young man.

When he left the room, he found the unconscious gentleman lying on the lower floor, while Stephen was just standing on the stairs looking at his father.

The old man almost held his mouth and was shocked by what he saw.

“Stephen, what did you do?” trembling voice of the old man and holding his chest.

"Manang Sora... is he p-dead?" he responded weakly which shocked the old man.

{LORNA'S POV}

Headstrong, arrogant, sometimes stupid, silly, self-righteous and very antipathetic. That was the first time I met him, Bernny.

Ever since he moved to our drafting club, nothing but arrogance comes out of his mouth and it seems like his head is always bombarded with air.

I hate him. I almost hated him before and whenever my friends teased me about him I got irritated.

I do not know why. Maybe, because he has everything I don't want in a man. But we have a saying, don't judge the book by its cover. That's why when I got close to Daniel, he also became close to me.

It turns out that my thoughts and assumptions about him were wrong. Maybe he looks like a crazy person sometimes, but when it's just the two of us together, he's very different. It's like he's suddenly joined by another person and I also look at him differently.

Actually, he is really handsome. It's just his silly things that are really ruining his image. I don't know why he suddenly becomes a joke in front of girls, he's not really that kind of person.

Then one day, I asked him why he was like that. In fact, she is even more attractive than Daniel but she just jokes around with everything. If he were to be serious, he would surely have many girls falling for him and I told him that but he just grinned.

"It really shouldn't be based on looks or actions and words, just to make other people like you. If he wants to or if you are really important to that person, won't he accept you for who or what you really are your personality?" he replied which made my heart skip a beat. I didn't realize that as time passed I was slowly falling for him. But I was a coward. I became a coward of my true feelings and soon Daniel and I had a relationship.

I answered him because I had no other choice. I'm afraid he'll find out about my secret love for him, but I'm more afraid of what he'll answer when he finds out about it.

I can't understand what I feel sometimes. Sometimes I feel like we look at each other the same way, but I also often feel like he's just playing with me.

So I chose to keep quiet. I kept this secret for a long time. And even though he kidnapped me that day and tried to harm me, I didn't hold a grudge against him. I just burst into tears of fear but I'm still thankful because he didn't break my trust in him.

He laid me on the bed. I was trying to take off my blouse but I heard her sudden sigh. He covered my body with a blanket and just sat on one side. I was awake during those moments and pretending to be unconscious.

After that incident, we didn't talk often. He often avoids me and ignores me. I'm just like the wind that passes through him or something that he only sees often.

Because of that, the love I feel for him has cooled and faded. Daniel and I spent more time with each other and soon I fell in love with him.

There's still some love left for Bernny, but I see Daniel more favorably.

That's why when he offered me to marry him, I didn't hesitate to agree, because I already love him.

The relationship between the two of us as husband and wife was smooth and happy, when suddenly the day I was dreading came.

When I entered our room, I saw Daniel standing near my secret drawer and reading my diary.

He found out everything about Bernny and I, including the fact that he kidnapped me before, which I also kept a secret from him.

He was so angry that he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me out of the house. He threw me away like trash and kicked me out without even taking my daughter Bea with me.

That's what I regret most of all. I should have burned that diary a long time ago and I never thought that we would both end up in such a situation. I was too trusting and complacent to myself that he would never know the truth.

More than ten years passed. I looked back at Bea and I couldn't believe that she was a young woman. He was only seven years old when I left him in the custody of his father.

That's why I approached him and said hello. But it was like I was stabbed in the chest when he walked away from me and tried to avoid me. She still recognizes me but my son no longer looks at me like a mother.

I was a trash and worthless mother in his eyes which made my chest even tighter. He just shuns me and embarrasses me to his friends. It was almost as if I was stabbed in my heart repeatedly and hit by a big rock because of the pain I was feeling.

So I just left and never showed up to him again. I still follow him from afar. I miss him so much and I want to hug him very tightly. But I can't do it even though I have rights as his mother. I could clearly see in his eyes that day how much he hated me and I can't blame him either because it was really my fault that our family was broken.

A month passed. I just found out that Daniel remarried another woman. Started a new life and had a new family. I can't believe that despite the fact that he pushed me away that day, he just left Bea alone and instead of guiding her in raising her, he prioritized her own happiness.

It was only then that I realized that I really deserved the hurtful words that Bea gave me. It is also his right to be angry and hate me as his parent. Because I was a useless mother and I didn't even do anything good for her.

So I promised myself that I will help him with all his expenses and needs. If I have to submerge my body in daily scrubbing at work I will, at least that way I can help him.

So I plucked up my courage and met with Daniel. I have no other motive to mess up his life or destroy his new family. The only thing I have in favor of him is that he will take care of my support for Bea. After all, his will is more secure with his father and he will not accept anything I give him, if he knows it comes from me.

Daniel agreed and promised to keep my two children a secret about my giving him money. All Bea knows is that all the money she receives comes from her father. Even though the truth is that money almost came from my own sweat and fatigue.

I know Daniel. He is the type of person who is strict especially when it comes to money. So I have a strong hunch that the reason why he agreed to my favor is because he no longer intends to support Bea in her need, as she has another family.

However I just ignored it. The only important thing for me is that Bea can fulfill her dreams in life. That's why I almost shed tears when I saw her on stage wearing a white gown. It was his high school graduation day. I feel that all the sweat, patience, hard work and fatigue I put into my work has been worth it, even though I earn very little.

But as time goes by I am also getting older and many things change. I lost my job in the factory where I worked. Because the company's income has fallen and they have to cut employees. And I was one of the chosen ones who got fired and lost my job. I can't do anything because they prioritize those who are younger than me and have stronger bodies.

So I couldn't bring money to Bea anymore and I also had a hard time finding another job. Because I only finished high school and I'm still old, that's why I was always rejected and rejected by different companies.

But I didn't give up and I endured the heat of the sun. Not long after, I was hired at a restaurant as a waitress. I was lucky because one of their employees had just resigned so they had no other choice but to accept me.

And unexpectedly that's when I saw Bernny again. He looks very different now compared to the Bernny I knew. His appearance has also aged but his elegance still remains.

Not long after, he offered me a job. I agreed immediately because of his good offer regarding the salary. I haven't brought Bea alimony for a long time so I didn't think twice about accepting it.

However, fate is really playful. Just when everything was going well, suddenly a big disaster came in my life.

And it happened right in the house of the man she loved.