Chapter 36

"Matt, what? I'm hurting! Let me go!" Furi struggled with her boyfriend as he dragged her on a walk and held her tightly by the wrist.

The girl was still wearing her wedding dress and he didn't even dress her before dragging her away from the said pageant.

When the two of them were far away, he just stopped walking and let go of her hand.

He was still turning his back on the girl with a wrinkled forehead and it was obvious that there was hatred in his feelings.

"Matt, let me explain to you first. Whatever you're thinking right now-" he was suddenly cut off as he turned to her and led her.

"Wrong? Is that what you want to explain to me now? You want me to think that my thoughts are wrong, after seeing with my own two eyes what you were doing in front of a lot of people?! Isn't it you? ashamed of yourself? almost, I'm going crazy worrying about you, but you're just kissing another man!" the girl couldn't speak anymore and just bowed. Tears suddenly dripped from the corner of his eyes without realizing it. He just clenched his fists and turned his back on the young man.

"We're not done talking yet, where are you going?!" He pointed at her firmly and stopped her by the arm, making her face him.

"What else do you two want to talk about? I'm sure I have nothing against you. You're right, what I did earlier was wrong, but I wish you'd let me explain to you first before you judge me!" he insisted with tears in his eyes. Matt just grinned and ran a hand through his hair.

"And then? You're going back to that man? Alright, I'll listen to your explanation. How can you tell me now that my thoughts about the two of you are wrong and how can you explain to me what I saw earlier? It looks like.. ( He looked at her for a moment from head to toe, back.) It seems that the two of you are also preparing for your future together. If you only intend to play with me, Furi. I hope you at least tried it and didn't let me down, when That's how you two will succeed in hurting me. But, just be patient because after seeing the scene between the two of you earlier, I feel like I've become numb too." After he said that, he turned around and let out a deep breath. He just covered his forehead with his own hand and stopped the tears from falling from his eyes.

"I didn't expect you to look down on me like that. I thought you would understand me, but it seems I made a mistake. I'm sorry, that's all I can say for now. I'm really sorry." After Furi said that, he also turned his back and walked away from the young man. Matt didn't look at him and walked away from him from another direction.

He will be alone. Walking on the quiet road and only a single pole gives him light. He just rubbed his eyes and stopped walking when Nasher met him.

"I knew this was going to happen. My arrival seems like good timing, doesn't it?" he smiled bitterly on his lips and tears suddenly fell from the girl's eyes. Furi ignored him and just scolded him. He continued to walk as if he saw nothing and it was just the wind passing in front of him.

Nasher just didn't speak. He just followed her walking from behind her. He just watched the girl silently with a mixture of apprehension in his feelings.

It's all my fault. If only I had stopped myself earlier, he wouldn't have been like this. It was floating in his mind when he looked down at the girl's leg and noticed that it was only on her feet.

He quickly approached Furi and stood in front of him. He stopped walking again and looked at her. But the second time he just ignored him and passed by.

"Furi," he said softly, at the same time he stopped her by the arm but the girl just pushed him away.

"Ay!" he frowned. He stopped her again and held her tightly by his arm, but the girl struggled but he still did not let her go.

"What's wrong with you?! let me go!" he said angrily to him.

"I do not want." He responded quickly.

"Let me go! what the hell, Nasher?!" he still struggled again and again until he just softened and gave up.

His head was bowed and tears were falling from his eyes one after another. Nasher placed one of his palms on her head and slowly leaned her against his chest. After that, Furi just burst into tears. He poured out all the emotions that had accumulated in his chest that wanted to escape from him.

When Nasher heard her heavy sobbing, he bit his lower lip and let out a deep breath.

He tried to hold her shoulder and caress her back but she just dropped her own hand and let him cry.

They just stood there and in that position for a few minutes. Nasher just waited for its weight to subside on his chest and to relax his will. After a while, Furi stepped away from him. He just rubbed his eye but the swelling and redness were still there.

The young man touched his cheek for a moment with his own two palms. He raised the girl's head but she was only looking at the ground.

"Furi, look at me." After he said that, Furi slowly focused on him. He seemed to suddenly feel pain from his heart when he looked into her sad eyes.

He wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes and drew a smile from his lips.

"Just now I realized how ugly you are to cry." When he joked, he grinned. The girl's eyebrows crossed and she hit him once in the chest.

"Can I ask you a favor?" he suddenly asked seriously.

"What?!" it said weakly but hostilely to him.

"Can you.. don't cry in front of me again? Do you know what I hate the most? I see a woman crying in front of me and I'm the reason for her tears." After he said that, the girl suddenly felt sorry for him when she saw his serious face.

"Maybe you're forgetting, you're the reason-" he didn't let her finish speaking and touched her lips with one of his fingers.

"I know, it's all my fault. So I'm sorry." He said at the same time he bowed his head and cupped his two hands. The girl seemed to shake her head and took one step closer to him.

"Wait a minute, are you saying something? Why can't I hear you?" said Furi but Nasher was still bent down and could not look directly at him.

"I said, I'm so- sorry." He has poor manners. A broad smile appeared on the girl's lips and another one stepped closer to him.

"Huh? what's that? what did you say? I can't hear you, please be louder, I think I'm going deaf." He jokingly said as one of his ears was close and he simply smiled on his lips. Nasher just clenched his fists and raised his head. He was about to speak but immediately stopped when he realized that the girl was right in front of him and that she was very close to him. Furi was facing the other direction but one of his ears was facing the young man's face.

"Hey, what's up? Why are you so quiet?" after saying that he turned to Nasher and their eyes met each other. Even Furi was shocked and stunned by the beauty of the young man, especially up close.

Wait a minute. Why do I feel so weird now? why is my heart beating faster and I can't push him away from me?

Wake up, Furi! don't give in to the gusts of your emotions. This is wrong! you feel wrong about him now! he said in his mind, but no matter how hard he tried to stop himself, their gazes only got closer to each other and the pounding in his chest grew stronger.

He admits to himself that Nasher's beauty is really attractive and besides that he has everything that every woman in the world desires and dreams of.

However, he also knows how far his limit is and he should not be tempted by what his heart beats.

Because when he couldn't stop himself, it was as if he let out that Matt's words to him were right and he should just hate him.

"I'm sorry, Furi. But,.. I can't help myself." The word suddenly came from the young man's lips and he pulled him closer to his waist, then grabbed him with a warm kiss from his lips.

Furi's eyes widened in shock, but he was even more surprised at himself when he couldn't push the young man away and he just closed his eyes.

What should I do with this man? was the last word that entered his mind before he closed his eyes and placed both palms on Nasher's shoulders.

"What?!" Mr. almost stood up in shock. Wong when I said I was resigning as manager at his restaurant.

"Are you serious about what you're saying, Matteus? I almost just promoted you as a manager, then you resign right away?" he said more but I just bowed and remained silent in front of him.

I also know that this is a difficult position for me to give up, but every time I enter that restaurant, I always remember Furi and the chaos that happened back then. Every time I think about that event, it's like my heart is being stabbed little by little.

I admit to myself that I really made a mistake in that incident too. I was a coward and a worthless boyfriend in front of her that day. I wasn't even able to protect him from the judging eyes. I became selfish and sent my emotions.

When I remember about that incident, including Furi's face at that moment, I suddenly run to the restroom and feel nauseous in the sink.

I do not know. I don't understand how I feel. It seems like my conscience is killing me little by little. Until I decided to resign from my job.

I don't regret what I did. Instead, my mood seemed to relax and I became more confident. After that, I went straight to Furi's school.

That's right, he's on his way home.

I haven't gotten close to the main gate yet but I can already see him.

"Fur-" I was about to call him when I saw that he had some friends. That's why I immediately hid to one side and didn't show him anymore.

He seems to be friends with those who are with him. They talk happily and laugh constantly.

At that moment I suddenly felt inferior to myself. Now that I don't have a job and I haven't studied, what kind of face should I present to them?

I thought of just turning around and leaving. Almost like other people, I can't lift my own face.

I am ashamed, because I have nothing to be proud of in front of them. Just wearing slippers, shorts that are a bit faded and a t-shirt that I wear over and over again.

Until I stopped walking when I saw a familiar face. I stared at him closely and came a little closer to him, so that I could be sure that my suspicion was correct.

"T-trixie?" I called him softly but he seemed to have heard me, so he turned around and a smile appeared on his lips.

"Are you?" he wondered while observing me from head to toe, back.

He doesn't seem to recognize me by my looks anymore.

"Umf- I'm sorry. Looks like I made a mistake." I just told him and he passed by as if nothing had happened. I just scratched the back of my head and bit my bottom lip.

That's right. I can't really blame him if he doesn't remember me. Who will recognize me, if I look like this? I said in my mind and I just continued walking without looking at him.

"Matt? Matthew Xenos!" but I immediately stopped walking when he called me by my name.

Is that Trixie? is he really the one who called me?

Because of my surprise, I turned to him.

"Matt!" I was so surprised when he ran to me and greeted me with a tight hug.

"Are you dissapointed, because you thought I didn't recognize you anymore?" my ears suddenly rang when he whispered and I felt his hot breathing.

I quickly pushed her away from me but I was stunned when I saw her beauty again every time she smiled and the dimples on her cheeks sank.

"Long time no see, Matt! How are you and where is Furi? Why aren't you with him?" I didn't respond to her right away because I was still stunned by her face and I can tell that her beauty still hasn't really faded. He looked very fresh and was easy to observe. As time goes on and time passes, she only gets more beautiful.

"Hey, Matt! are you listening to me?" I only came to my senses when he tapped me on the shoulder and he had been telling me something but my mind was just wandering somewhere.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about it right now. But suddenly, a question came to my mind.

If I waited for him to be ready then, would we still be together? will he still love someone like me, even if I'm a loser now?

"Wait a minute, are you really listening to me or are you trying to annoy me?" he said so I just grinned and bowed down for a moment.

"You're still the same, Trixie." The word suddenly came out of my mouth. I raised my face again and looked at him.

"You're still beautiful." I told him more.

I don't know why I said those words to him. I feel like I can't take back the words I let go from him.

We were both silent and he looked at me in surprise. He didn't seem to expect to hear that from me. But, it was only for a moment and it was destroyed again when he grinned and smiled widely on his lips.

"You too, you are still the same bulero!" he said emphatically but only jokingly. I just smiled and pretended to scratch the back of my head.

"Similar to that, that's your habit! every time you have nothing to say and you're embarrassed in front of you. Wait a minute, don't tell me you're embarrassed of me now?" I immediately dropped my own hand when I heard what he said and quickly looked away from him.

"W-what are you talking about? I can't!" I'm pretending even though it's really true and I'm starting to get nervous about him.

"Oh! that's another thing, when you're nervous you just look away and bite your lower lip." He pointed at me when I realized I was actually biting my bottom lip.

I didn't say anything and suddenly he laughed loudly.

"Hey, Matt. I'm so wet you can't hide anything from me." He said and he was still laughing. I looked at his face for a moment and I just smiled when I saw him happy.

"You're right. You're the only one who really understands me." I said softly and just bowed. I saw my big toes and they seemed to be waving at me because I was only wearing slippers.

"But, to be honest, you've changed a lot." He suddenly became serious so I looked at him.

"You're right, a lot has changed for me." I'm talking about my clothes now. From a cool guy student that women used to stomp and fight over, it's now a boy t-shirt. No work and comfortable in simple clothes.

"No, I'm not talking about how you look now. But because you've really matured. You're no longer the cool guy I used to know. The type who feels like a celebrity star and doesn't care about those around him. . It seems that Furi has changed a lot in you, compared to when we were together. You know what I meant, there is no improvement." He said and I just nodded my head.

"You're right. I've really matured and I'm on my way to becoming your uncle." I joked with him at the same time he grinned.

"I envy you. Because you have found the right person for you. They say, if you really love someone, you will willingly change for him. That was one of the things I used to believe, but it seems I was just wrong ."

"You don't have to change for that person to accept you. This is how I really was, Trixie before. I just don't really show my weakness to other people, especially to the person closest to me."

"But he found you. He found the real you, so you came out and showed your real world." After he said that, I just smiled and nodded my head.

"You're right, he did find me." I have a bad attitude towards him.

"Oh hey, it looks like you have a lot to do and I might be bothering the two of you so I might as well leave you." He let go of me, then he turned away.

At that moment, it was as if something was urging me to stop him, but I suddenly realized that I was holding his arm.

"Matt, why?" he stopped walking and turned to me with a trace of surprise on his face.

"Don't leave." The word I want to say to him.