*****Trigger Warning***** This book contains mature themes, physical, sexual and emotional abuse. My name is Lillian Blackwood. I thought my life was over. I had been beaten down and controlled by my ex both emotionally and physically for years. It was, do or die. Fortunately, I survived, and with therapy and time, I finally started some semblance of a life. The very last thing I was looking for was love. I hate dating, and quite frankly, I'm not a fan of men and who can blame me? I keep a very tight circle of friends, so I was surprised when love pushed and shoved its way into my life. But not all fairytales have happy endings, and my tale certainly gives happiness a run for its money.
Lihat lebih banyak*****WARNING*******
This book may cause triggers and contain mature domestic violence themes, flashbacks of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, and medical trauma. This story may not be for you.
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Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things
which cannot be overcome when they are together,
yield themselves up when taken little by little.
Plutarch
Part I
Watching the people through the window, I wonder where my girl is at? What is she doing this very moment? Is she thinking about me, as I think about her?
One girl captures my attention as she walks down the street. She looks similar to my sweet Lill, with curly dark locks, and her hips sway in that sexy way, almost hypnotizing me as they swing back and forth, back, and forth, her jeans are stretched tight around her ass. I sit back and lick my lips imagining my sweet girl, but my memories never really do her justice, not when I know what it’s like to have the real thing, her tight cunt and sweet ass. She is my Queen, and I will have her again; I will shove my cock in her pretty mouth, and then I’ll.
“Sorry, Mr Bertrand, if we settle you are looking at five years or we will go to trial and then you will be looking at fifteen to twenty.” My lawyer disrupts my fantasy into smithereens.
I lick my lips and glare at him, “What?”
“It’s five years if we settle. Fifteen to twenty if we go to court.”
“Fucking cretins”, I rub my face, I should have shaved and dressed more appropriately, but I can’t function without my sweet, sweet girl. I wish she would visit. Fuck I wish she would write me back. I bet it’s that family of hers keeping her from me. Never mind, I’ll write her another letter.
“Make the deal”, I’ll get out, and when I do, my sweet fantasy will come to fruition.
My dreams always come true.
Part II
I knew. I always knew he would find me, and yet I’m still surprised.
Haven’t I dreamt about this a thousand times before?
I can hear him breathing near me; I can smell the gasoline and his god-awful cheap cologne that he loves because he thinks it makes him smell like sex, but it makes me want to gag.
Strangely I’m not terrified like I am in my dreams. I feel surreal, like it’s happening but not really happening, I’m here, but I’m not really here.
He has me in a chair blindfolded with duct tape across my mouth. My wrists are bound together in front of me with tap. I try to move my ankles but find them taped to each chair leg.
I feel his breath on me; he inhales deeply at the nape of my neck. I try not to shiver, but I can’t control the chills that sweep over me and down my spine.
“Oh, you smell better than I remember, Lill; No one smells better than you, My sweet, sweet Lilly.” He says as he inhales me again. I can feel his smile on my neck, sending goosebumps down my arms. His nose moves over my cheek, my breathing spikes. Slowly he licks the side of my face, and I freeze.
“I still affect you, don’t I darlin’?” he breathes in deep again. He strikes my face quick and sharp with the back of his hand. “Answer me!” he sneers.
I yelp and a whimper escapes me; I can taste blood in my mouth. My breathing is harsher than before.
My anxiety is starting to kick into high gear. Fucking hell, thanks, anxiety, I am well aware that I am in danger, don’t you fucking start! At least I’ll go down with my sense of humour intact. I internally roll my eyes at myself. This is not the place nor the time. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?
He removes my blindfold. I cringe away from him. “You still haven’t answered me, my sweet, sweet Lill, but I can tell that you love it.”, his eyes gleam, he chuckles nefariously, “Yeah, bitch you still love it” he takes a couple of steps back, “Now I’ve invited some old friends to our party. We will introduce them to you later.” He smirks.
Fuck! Who did he take? What has he done to them? Looking around the musty room, I take in my surroundings, it seems like I’m in an old warehouse. How the fuck am I going to get out of here?
He jerks my chin, squeezing until I make a sound.
“That’s better keep your eyes on me, bitch! Right now, I need to talk to you one on fucking one.”
He deliberately whispers against my lips, “You have been a very naughty girl while I’ve been away; a very naughty girl” he glowers. “Time for some fucking answers bitch!” His eyes glint with anger.
I’m going to die, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Not even me,
I watch the woman my brothers tell me I loved. The One. That’s what my journal tells me. Lillian Blackwood is my one. The problem is I can’t remember her. Not a single thing. All the descriptions I wrote about her don’t do her justice. Even while I watch her breakdown. While I watch my brother comforts her, over a dog named Benny. She’s still incredibly beautiful. “Are you willing to let that go?” Dylan asks as he watches the commotion in front of us. “I can’t let go of something I didn’t know I had.” I shrug and walk outside. The house is beautiful. I’m told it’s her mother’s or was. “You need to think about this.” Dylan pulls the ring from his pocket. “You commissioned this piece, Lucas. That’s how serious you are,” he shakes his head, “Were about Lily. She’s a wonderful woman, and she is going through a lot right now. Decide.” He storms off back inside. I take in the view of this beautiful piece of land. It’s just as I described in my journal. Decisions…. Stay or leave?
After returning from another MRI scan and more blood tests. I visit Luke. JJ is sitting in the corner talking on the phone. I wave to him and sit by Luke’s bed, squeezing his hand gently. “I was just on the phone with Dylan. He and Declan are on their way here. They’re currently in Singapore for the layover.” He tells me. “Okay.” it’s not the best setting to meet Luke’s family, but I do hope that he wakes before they get here. They should come home to some good news. I smile at JJ. “Any news?” “Yes, they’re taking him out of his coma tomorrow.” He grins. “That’s wonderful news.” I gaze down at Luke. I can’t wait for him to wake up. “Yes, it is. I’m very sorry about your Mum. Esther, she was a real sweetheart.” I frown, “You know Lily, it isn’t your fault. Dean and Mel are their own people. They did this.” “Thanks, JJ, I know, it’s not my fault,” I sigh. “Well, the rational part of my brain knows it, but I still can’t help feeling guilty. It’ll take a while; I guess.” I shrug
“Hi, baby.” Luke smiles sweetly, stroking my face, his other hand playing with my hair.“Hi, I think I had another bad dream, and you were in it this time. Dean shot you.” I tell him, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes. He frowns.“It was a dream, wasn’t it?” I ask, as his frown deepens.“No baby, not a dream.” He smiles lovingly. “Will you sing me that lullaby song?”“Always.” I sing the song as he holds me tightly and says, “I love you, baby.”I blink up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Jesus, I must have been on a hell of a boozy night out. I look around the room. It’s all off-white, except for the curtains, they’re grey. Definitely not at home. Did Luke take me to his place? He needs a new decorator. Who has a mini-fridge in a bedroom?“Luke?” I whisper, my voice dry and horse. I try to turn but the pain is excruciating, my back, and chest ache like nothing I’ve ever felt before. My head, I touch my head, fuck, it hurts. Someone yells.“Lily!” it’s Abby. Good god, did she need to sc
I swallow hard. My throat feels both dry and full of saliva at the same time. What the fuck happened?Slowly, I open my eyes. I try to bring my hands up to rub my eyes, but my hands won’t budge. I blink slowly and look around. It’s dark, but there is some sort of light coming in, God knows where. How did I get here?I try to move my hands, but they’re pinned to my side. I look down, but I still can’t see shit. I think I’m sitting.Fuck my head! I shake my head, but it only makes the throbbing worse.Something scatters across the room, making me jump. I whip my head in the general direction, but I can’t see shit. The adrenalin spikes which help’s clear the drug haze a little.That’s when it clicks. Fucking Dean. And Mel?!Motherfucker jabbed my neck with a motherfucking needle. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I try to say the words out loud, but of course, the arsehole has taped my damn mouth. I creak my neck, something’s covering my eyes. No wonder I can’t see. The bastard blindfolded me.I try to
Luke is stroking my hair. I smile sleepily. “You look so beautiful and peaceful when you sleep,” he smiles.“I do?” I can’t remember the last time I felt any kind of peace whilst sleeping unless Luke’s here.“Yes, you do.” He kisses me.“I think you should stay here more often.” I grin seductively.He laughs. “I bet you do; Are you asking me to move in with you?”“I think I am. You stay often enough. But I can’t imagine you would like to stay in a place so small.”“I like your place. It’s much cozier than mine. Hmm, I should take you to my place.” He gets up out of bed. “Would you like me to make you something or get you a drink?”“Yes, please. A juice, surprise me.” I get up and put on my robe. “I need to make a few calls and I’ll be right out.”I call Mum, no answer, I leave her a voicemail, letting her know we’re still safe and making sure she’s okay.I call Mel, but again no answer, I don’t bother with a voicemail. I’ve left enough.I call Stacie, knowing she’s in school and may n
Another terrifying scream breaks the silence. What–the–fuck!We jump out of bed, scrambling to put on clothes as we race downstairs. I hear movement coming from the kitchen and bolt. Luke close behind me.Mum is holding onto the bench in the kitchen, clutching her chest.“Mum?” I yell.“S-someone’s out-outside!” she says breathlessly.Luke and JJ race to the back door. Shit! Dean! Daniel’s immediately calling the police.“Come sit down. Are you alright, mum?” I move her to the dining room table and sit her down gently on one of the dining chairs.“I’m alright, Darling. I wasn’t expecting to see someone outside, that’s all.” She coughs while trying to catch her breath.“Who screamed?” Stacie asks wide-eyed.“Mum, she saw someone through the kitchen window. Luke and JJ are outside. Can you look after Mum?”I don’t wait for an answer. I race upstairs, throw on a pair of sneakers and grab Benny. Like most teenagers, Lucy has slept through the whole commotion.“Come on Benny, let’s find th
I wake feeling blissfully happy, wrapped in Luke’s strong, comforting arms. He tightens his arms around me as I cuddle deeper. I look up at his smiling, sleepy face.“Good morning, beautiful.” He says as he kisses the top of my head.“Good morning.” I don’t think this smile will ever leave my face; my cheeks are hurting.“That was quite an evening. How are you?” I ask warily.“I’m fine. I was actually wondering how you are?” His eyes glow affectionately.“I’m good. I’m sorry about last night.” He presses his finger against my lips to quieten me.“Don’t be.”“Reset?” I ask.“We already did last night.” He winks at me.“Aren’t we cheeky this morning?”“We are.” He winks and leans down to kiss me. “I love you so much, Lillian Blackwood.”“I love you too,” I tell him after our kiss ends. I hold on to him tighter, never wanting to let go, or move, for that matter. But then Benny barks.“That’s ‘I’m hungry’ in dog language.” I glance at the clock. 7:30 am. Yep, breakfast time.I quickly get
It’s been a couple of days since my panic attack. Lucas has respected my wishes and hasn’t contacted me at all. Which stupidly doesn’t make me feel any better.Why hasn’t he called to make sure I’m alright? I thought he loved me!I roll my eyes. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I’m sure I would have told him off if he called me yesterday. But today, I guess I expected at least a ‘Good Morning’ text or something.I sigh. I should really get up and out of bed today.Yesterday I spent all day in my PJ’s wallowing. I need to get out and get some fresh air.I decide to take Benny on our usual walk when I have a free day. We haven’t done this in a while. We go to our café; Benny has his Pupa-chino, a small cup full of cream, and a mini vanilla cupcake. Then we do Benny’s favourite part of our little day out, playing with his mates.Benny had a blast playing with his doggy friends in the off leash fenced off dog park. Once he’s had his fill, we sit under our favourite oak tree. Benny l
I smile at my reflection. Yes, you are a lucky bitch. I finish the last touches of my makeup and check my outfit to make sure it’s all in the right place. I’m wearing a white sleeveless fitted scoop neck top with a mini black leather corset, tight black jeans, a black leather jacket and black heels. “Oh!” I pick up my new platinum gold necklace with a key and heart charms on it. Luke said he commissioned the necklace from his brothers a week ago and here it is all the way from Dubai.“Yeah, you are one lucky bitch.” I murmur to myself as I knock on the door to my study again. This time I don’t hesitate. I walk right on in. Luke looks me up and down and whistles.“Wow, you look hot. Maybe I should put this aside for later.” He smiles playfully, “I can’t let you go out looking like that!”“What are you going to do? Tie me up?” I tease.“Maybe I will” He stalks towards me, his eyes glowing darkly. The look makes me shiver in an oh so good way. He wraps me in his arms and kisses me zealou
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