"The world paints him in red. But before that—he only saw the world in black and white." A re-imagining of Emperor Caligula's life, history's infamous mad ruler... Was he made, or was he born? Told from multiple perspectives, Love and Honor explores the violent, intimate bond between a broken prince and the boy who dares to love him. Before the blood, before the madness, there was silence. There was pain. And there was love.
Lihat lebih banyakIdes of January 41AD
"Traitors!" a praetorian guard shouted.
The cry echoed down the torch-lit secret tunnel like an angry banshee.
He was an elite protector of the imperial family, sworn to them with his blood.
"Die!" he swung his gladius—a Roman short sword.
It flashed like a glittering serpent.
Maw wide open.
Ready to devour any opponent.
His skills were known across the Roman Empire—a fact he wore like an armor, along with his rank and pride.
His full purple-dyed tunica militaris—a military tunic—was the proof.
Speaking louder than any praise.
A golden scorpion—emblazoned on his sleeves—a brand of his loyalty.
Horsehair-crested helmet rested on his head, his black hair covered.
CLANG CLANG
"Ahh!" his yells sounded throaty, raw and desperate.
CLANG CLANG
A stark contrast to the deathly silence that followed with each clang of steel.
The tunnel beneath the palatium—the imperial palace—was supposed to be a secret passage.
It was used to avoid overexcited citizens and assassins that lurked everywhere.
He never imagined it would become a deathtrap.
A discarded wooden scabbard lay amid the sprawled bodies of his fallen brothers—a broken promise, soaked in blood.
Their march to the Circus Maximus to attend the Palatine Games had been ambushed.
Two against seven.
A hopeless dance of death.
But only one fought.
The other guard on his side was occupied—protecting someone, unable to move.
Deflecting what he could not.
Yet, the brave guard despite it all did not lose a heart.
His gladius firm in his grip—his eyes burned with desperate fury beneath his helmet.
He goaded his former brothers—the traitorous bastards—his voice a rasped challenge.
CLANG CLANG
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhgggg!" a cry—of neither victory nor pain, but of betrayal.
One of the traitors, who wore a bloodstained tunica militaris with a narrow purple stripe, rammed his shield into his senior.
It was an unnatural sight—praetorian guards, vowed to the same duty, turning on each other.
Lower-ranked guards attacking higher-ranked officer.
Eyes blazing. Growling like a beast in a cage.
Shoving, clawing for an advantage.
The brave guard stood his ground. His feet barely moved.
Using the momentum when they crashed—he pressed his weight.
Then he spat on the double crosser's face.
'An opening!' he did not waste time and plunged his gladius upward on the betrayer's eyes.
It went through. He buried it to the hilt.
Earning himself an ear splitting shriek of disbelief.
Then, the traitor collapsed with a loud thud.
Shield clattered on the stone with a clank, the sound swallowed by the tunnel's oppressive silence.
The guard kicked the dying man's chest aside with contempt.
Smearing the blood on his sandals.
No time to breathe.
The metallic scent of blood, thick and cloying has become more prominent, it mingled with the musty, earthy stench of the tunnel.
"You'll pay for your treachery!" his voice was a snarl, his eyes glinting with cold resolve through the helmet's slit.
'What made you break your oath?' he wondered.
Each parry, a silent question.
He expertly countered every sword that swung his way.
He knew exactly how his enemies moved, familiar with them from being on the same team for so long.
Steel clashed. Metal to metal. Brutal.
Screams tore through the air, followed by the dull thuds of a body that hits the floor.
Three more enemies fell, their dying cries echoing in the confined space.
"We're not the traitors here, YOU ARE!" a sneering counter of another traitor.
A false declaration. Venomous and full of weight.
CLANG CLASH THUD
The final clash—more vicious and desperate.
With a sense of urgency.
It ended with both the defending guard and his attacker falling, their bodies a tangled mess of steel and blood.
Sharp pain burst through the higher ranked praetorian guard's back.
Unable to comprehend what happened.
Dark liquid slowly blossomed.
Spreading on his most prized possession—his tunica militaris.
Wet. Sticky.
He did not see the other traitor that struck him from behind.
Ending his life.
He just laid there.
No thoughts. No flashbacks.
Just darkness.
Four remained.
Two on each side.
Three guards and one—with a figure of unearthly beauty, stood amidst the carnage.
His crimson robe was now a tattered testament from the betrayal earlier.
His stumbling feet were clad in elegant leather sandals, polished to a warm sheen.
The golden diadem, its emeralds and rubies flashing in the dim torchlight, sat askew on his golden hair.
Once a symbol of his imperial power.
His blue eyes, usually distant and imperious, now blazed with a raw, animalistic fury.
The air was thick with the smell of iron and decay.
Even the sweet myrrh he once favored had turned rancid in the stench of death.
It is now suffocating him.
SPLOTCH SQUELCHED
SWISH SWISH
He stumbled backward, the rough stone biting into his leather sandals.
Blood. Sticky. Repulsive.
It warmed his feet.
"Haaah haaaah ugggggghh!" suddenly, the remaining guard, whom the stumbling man thought was his remaining protector, grabbed him roughly and tied him up with a rope.
Confused and dizzied.
He shook uncontrollably, unable to keep his body from standing straight.
The elite guards, sworn to protect him, had now tied their emperor up!
Blood oozed from the slashes in his expensive robes, inflicted by the traitorous blade that had cut deep into his flesh.
'How dare they do this to their God!' the beautiful man seethed.
Still delusional.
'This is blasphemy!' he wanted to scream, but he bit back the words, refusing to give his enemies the satisfaction.
SWISH SPLAT
A guard forced him to his knees, the cold, sticky wet stone scraping against his skin.
Sending a jolt of pain through his body.
'The humiliation!' his anger was a burning coal in his chest.
The torch's dim light struggled to penetrate the tunnel's gloom, but the glint of steel was unmistakable as more and more figures emerged from the shadows.
One, two... ten.
Blood squelched under their feet as they moved towards the emperor.
He thrashed, his bonds biting into his skin.
He looked around for someone or anything to untie him.
But all he can see are his fallen guards.
'Useless! And the others are traitors!' he looked up and stared at the blurry faces of the other three backstabbing guards standing beside him.
Holding him in place.
"Struggling is of no use..." the head of his guards spoke.
The coward that hides in the darkness.
Voice flat and emotionless, breaking the choking silence.
"Untie me this instant! Obey me!" the emperor's command, usually so potent, was now devoid of strength.
"Why would I?" the guard's eyes were empty, devoid of fear or respect.
"I AM YOUR EMPEROR!" his bound hands clenched into trembling fists, nails digging into his palms.
"Down here, you are nothing..." a distant dozen footsteps, and a thunderous cheer, echoed through the tunnel.
"Listen to the people above.. they are celebrating your downfall—" the guard taunted him, enjoying his despair.
"I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!!!" the emperor screamed.
He can't stop the sudden outburst.
His nerves showed in his temple. But unable to do anything.
Helpless.
SPLASH SPLASH SWOOSH
"This is for your madness!" the first blade plunged into his side.
A man wearing a toga, a senator, broke the emperor's bellow.
"Aaaagggghhhh!" a searing pain that made him scream, shot through the emperor's whole being, as if a hot iron had been thrust into his flesh.
It's a bit different from the cut wounds that he received earlier when the traitors attacked first.
"You forced our children to prostitute themselves in the palace!" another blade, this time in his stomach.
It's a noble, from the gentes family that he did not recognize.
Blood bubbled from his lips.
BLEGH BLEGH
"You slaughtered our families, you demon!" a dagger in his shoulder.
This time, it was a man he knew so well, one of his advisors.
The litany of accusations continued, each blade a testament to his cruelty.
Then the final blow, from the head of his guards, was a whisper...
"This one is for my wife," then he shoved the emperor down the ground.
SPLAT
'Ugggghhhh.'
"The tyrant bleeds like any other man.." someone commented, followed by a snicker.
SQUELCHED SQUELCHED
He tried to crawl, the sticky blood a macabre trail, but a sandal-clad foot stopped him.
The emperor weakly craned his neck, looking up, trying to make out the face of the owner of the feet.
Blood blurred his vision, but through the haze, he saw them—piercing green eyes, filled with something unreadable.
Recognition struck him like lightning.
It was Lepidus.
'You!'
Darkness.
***************************** TA-ta-TA-Taaa!A trumpet blared loudly. Vibrations resonating through the air.
The city of Rome.
A sprawling metropolis of marble temples, grand basilicas, and winding streets.
It pulsed with life.
Music, dance, and acrobatic performances filled the air.
Accompanied by the sweet scent of incense wafting from processions led by priests honoring Apollo.
Chariot races, athletic competitions, and theatrical events drew cheering crowds, while at night, torches and lanterns cast a magical glow over the revelry.
Another trumpet blast pierced the air, momentarily halting the lively celebrations..
The people, busy celebrating the Ludi Palatini—ancient Roman festival games held in honor of the gods or goddesses—stopped and wondered why.
A low murmur spread through the crowd.
Trumpets had already sounded once, on the first day of celebrations, following the emperor's speech.
But why were they being used again, on the last day of Ludi Palatini?
Another celebration?
What was the occasion?
The people exchanged curious glances, wondering.
Then people came running from the palatium, "Hup hup.... Go to the palatium! They are announcing something! Hurry!"
Calling out to the masses.
The message spread like wildfire.
Curious about the announcement, the people decided to go.
Once they gathered at the palatium ground, instead of the emperor or a high-ranking magistrate, a herald stood before them.
Unrest spread among the people, afraid it was one of the emperor's whims again.
When the large crowd had gathered, the herald stood straight and, in a loud voice, said:
"Romans! Rejoice!"
But the people were silent.
They looked at each other.
"We are celebrating the end of the tyranny of the MAD EMPEROR!"
You could have heard a pin drop as silence ensued.
The herald looked around at the faces of the people.
"As of right now, the mad emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus has already died."
A long pause.
Then one person broke into cheers.
And like a wave, the entire crowd erupted into loud cheers.
"Hurrrrahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" The crowd boomed.
What joyful news!
***************************** The news of the emperor's death circulated rapidly, igniting a frenzy of jubilation and destruction, forgetting about the festivities.Mobs of people who were just enjoying the music and the mood of the celebration earlier, surged through the streets, targeting the numerous statues and effigies of the fallen emperor.
In the Roman forum—a central public space in the heart of Rome—a massive marble statue of the emperor stood tall, until a group of enraged citizens, armed with hammers and chisels, attacked it.
The sound of cracking stones echoed through the forum as the statue's arms shattered, its face splintered.
Broken. And in pieces. They stomped on it.
THUNK THUNK
Nearby, a bronze effigy of him stood atop a pedestal.
A bonfire was lit beneath it, and the flames engulfed the metal, melting its features into a twisted, grotesque appearance.
The people were pleased.
They danced around the fire.
Throughout the city, similar scenes are happening.
Statues toppled. Effigies smashed. Images of the emperor defaced.
A hand severed at the wrist. A marble head rolling, cracking against the paving stones.
The once-revered symbols of his power now lay broken, a proof of the people's rejection of his tyranny.
As night fell, Rome's streets were glowing with fires, illuminating the destruction.
The air resonated with cheers, shouts, and the clanging of hammers, as the city purged itself of the emperor's presence.
CLACK CLANK CLACK
The sound of creaking wood and scraping wheels mingled in the air.
CLACK CLANK CLACK
An ox pulling a plaustrum, a wooden cart used for transportation, is making its way out of the city.
The driver, wearing a black cape with hood drawn to his head, halted the ox and gazed back at the riotous scene unfolding behind him.
His face is illuminated by an orange glow coming from the fire that is lit.
It was Lepidus—his face disinterested in the ongoing commotion.
Then his eyes dropped down to the plaustrum.
There is a thick large cloth covered in a shape that unmistakably resembles a body, breathing slowly and quietly under it, hidden from the world.
The cloth covering the body shifted slightly, as if the person beneath it was trying to get more comfortable.
Lepidus's expression remained inscrutable, a flicker of concern betrayed his eyes.
His gaze now fixed on the subtle movement of the cloth.
The burning city, the roaring crowds, the destruction—all of it faded into a distant hum.
His attention was solely on the plaustrum, on the secret it held.
He gave a slight flick of the reins, and the ox moved forward.
The sound of the creaking wood and scraping wheels, became the only sound that he cared about.
He continued driving the plaustrum, leaving the burning city behind, a little bit more quickly now.
CLACK CLANK CLACK
*****************************INDEX:Palatine Games- a public event that include games and theatrical performances Circus Maximus- primarily known for chariot races, but it was also used for other public spectacles gentes- noble family forum- public space *****************************FUN FACT!The tunnels under the palatium were called cryptoporticus. These secret passageways were used by the Imperial Family for private movement, dramatic entrances at public events, or to avoid assassins, ironically, Caligula was assassinated in one of these passageways. Historical accounts indicate that Caligula was stabbed 30 times. And it was orchestrated by the senators and his guards. Following this, they announced his death to the masses and made that day a holiday.Another fact! Purple is the symbol of the Imperial family.
AN// What do you guys think of the new prologue?
The next day...Macro returned to his usual routine—standing guard outside the prince's cubiculum, stone-faced as ever.But something had changed in the air.The door opened.Macro, who wasn't looking directly at Caligula, was waiting for the soft footfall on the marbled floor.Seconds passed.A full minute went by.No sound.No movement.A bead of sweat rolled down his temple.He can swear he even heard it when it hit the marble.Slowly, Macro moved his eyes and peeked from the corner of his vision.Caligula was just standing there, his back resting against the frame of the door.His hands folded on his chest. Crumpling his purple tunic.His other leg was crossed over the other.His posture seemed relaxed, but it felt like a bowstring stretched too tight.One move and it felt like the prince would snap and attack him.Alert. Like a viper.The pretty prince didn't exit his room like he used to.He didn't move at all.He stood motionless, like a statue.Staring at Macro.'Is he measurin
Sometime around November. The day Sejanus' letter arrived at Capri Island 28 ADA whistle.Two tone.Caligula's been trying to learn it ever since he first heard it five years ago.But he never managed to do it.Not with his mouth. No.Instead, it echoes inside his head.The tune stays, curled up in the back of his brain like something half-alive.It's the only thing keeping his sanity.He tries to hum it, but the sound won't come.His throat is dry.He wishes there was something to drink.But there was none.'Water—anything—!!'Even if it contains something that drives men past reason!........The sun had long since vanished, and the sea had gone black.Capri held its breath.But Caligula didn't know.He can't tell.Because there is no window.He sat on the cold stone floor, bare legs drawn up to his chest.His tunic was ripped and bunched at his waist, leaving his back and chest exposed, streaked with old bruises and new.The oil lamp flickered weakly against the far wall.Just a fl
Sometime Around October 28 AD, Germania Inferior, Marshland East of the Rhine"Hmmmmm..."A low thrum stirred the stillness before dawn.It grew.A deep, resonant drone—heavy with numbers, thick with intent.A barritus.The battle-cry of Germania.Then came the tendrils of grey, snaking upward through the thinning branches of the forest—Smoke.Grey. Acrid. Hungry.The Germania tribe had returned.And at their forefront—Arminius.This was no petty rebellion.He did not rally for kingship.It was a reckoning.He rallied for vengeance—raw and untamed, pulsed in the air.A bitter memory surfaced in Arminius's mind, sharp as a shattered glass.Sejanus.The snake.Yes, it had been Arminius who first approached him—believing that Sejanus’ ambition might be bargained with.He had offered something of value, hoping to secure his family’s safety.And in return, once part of the promise was fulfilled, Sejanus would reveal their location.But in the end, the nature of the serpent does not change
Tiberius sat slumped beneath the statue of Augustus, like a man worn down by time, shadowed in black robes.He could hear footsteps.Slow.Deliberate.It was getting near.Then murmurs.He did not look up at first, even when it grew increasingly loud.Like the annoying buzzing of a hornet.When he did look up, his eyes were red.His face sagged.Hollow.His son had just died.And Agrippina had come to talk politics.Senators hot on her heels.As if she owned the place.His palace.The foolish senators stopped on their tracks, looked between them—suddenly trapped between thunder and lightning.The buzzing stopped.Only Agrippina moved forward. Then stopped right in front of Tiberius.Silence stretched on.Agrippina's hazel eyes were trained on Tiberius's old, tired eyes.They measured each other.Then Tiberius raised one trembling hand."Leave us."The senators bowed and scattered like leaves in a storm.All that enthusiasm on the way from Curia Julia was gone in an instant.'Spineless
Agrippina rose before the sun.As if she hadn't cried.As if she hadn't hurled a vase at the wall last night—because of Antonia's words.Her pride had been scratched.All night she lay motionless, waiting for sleep that never arrived.But no one could tell. No trace remained.A bath.A female slave braided her hair in silence.The scent of something floral folded into her dress.Rituals. Armor.Outside, Rome stirred with a hangover.But not her.She stood before the mirror—her speculum—and stared herself down without blinking.The reflection was thinner than she remembered.Older. Sharper.Gone was the old Agrippina.Something had burned away in her this past year.Or maybe it had only just become visible.Drusus the Younger was dead.And Tiberius had not come.Her mouth twitched.'You hide in your palatium while your son dies choking on roses. Just as you hid when you had my husband murdered.'She pressed a pearl pin into her black stola, twisting it with the precision of a blade.Th
Lucius was out of breath.It was vigilia tertia.Third watch.Late enough for the bakers, early enough for secrets.Lucius, a plebeian’s son—born to ash and bread—ran without stopping.He didn’t pause to wipe the sweat from his brow. Didn’t slow to catch his breath.He ran like he was being chased by a pack of wolves.From Antonia’s villa, down the winding alleys of the Palatine.Through night fog that curled around shuttered stalls and broken lamps—until the scent of ash, fig, and fresh dough told him he was close.His father’s thermopolium was still open.Always was—especially after dark, when the real customers came.He ducked under the worn awning of the bakery—or the front of it, anyway—and pushed through the wooden door.Inside, the warmth of the ovens wrapped around him.Bread. Honey. Smoke. Burnt flour.Comforting. Safe, in theory.But his legs still shook. He stumbled.His tunic was wet, sticky. Not from rain—it was summer.It was his own sweat.His father—Publius, the baker
The praetorian guards were gone. The guests too—long gone.Only the ghosts of perfume and wine lingered in the air, drifting through the night like whispers.Faint laughter, fading music—echoes of the party that had turned to horror because of his uncle Drusus the Younger's poisoning.It's so quiet.Drusus Caesar moved through the corridor, barefoot now, careful not to make a sound.In his hands, his sandals.He had already forgotten the poison he found in his mother’s cubiculum—and how he’d taken it and hidden it behind the tapestry.Now, he just regretted not moving faster.His curiosity about everything was getting in the way now.Slowing him down.If he’d slipped out of the cubiculum just a little earlier, maybe he would’ve caught a glimpse of what happened.But no—he’d tried to play the clever delator—like a boy-legatus chasing the shadow who’d planted poison in his mother’s room.As if it were some grand conspiracy.'Did his uncle really die? Who poisoned him? What happened afte
The sound of armor—clinking. The march of many feet.Metal on rough marble.Sharp.Cold.No shouting.Only silent efficiency.The praetorian guards had arrived from the palatium.Not Tiberius.No Sejanus either.Only men in blackened bronze, masked by plumes and indifference.They moved through the hortus like shadows.Some went to Drusus’s body—now covered—lifting it as if it were both fragile and foul.They wrapped him in purple linen.No ceremony.No priest.No incense.Just death.Others moved to Livia, to escort her out.She was pale, her eyes wide—not with grief, but with the horror of survival.She could have died too. She hadn’t even known.She leaned into a servant, still straight with imperial steel—but her poise was unraveling.A few guards bowed. Not deeply.Behind her, Livilla followed like a ghost.She didn’t cry.Didn’t speak.Her slaves hovered, flitting like insects, trying to soothe her—but she didn’t notice.They were led out the side way—not through the colonnade.
The path behind the villa urbana was narrow and winding, barely more than a trail carved between hedges and crumbling garden walls.It felt forgotten. Unkempt.A stark contrast to the boastful entrance.The air was warm—heavy with the scent of summer.No moon. No stars.At least not yet.Only torches lit along the edges of the estate, their flames flickering in the summer breeze.The world felt distant. Smaller somehow.As if all that mattered was this path.These two figures.Lepidus walked beside Caligula, not too close.Just near enough that if the boy stumbled, Lepidus could catch him.Caligula said nothing as his feet led Lepidus to the place he'd found after the chaos at the Circus Maximus—a place he now sought out for solace.He already memorized the path at heart.His footsteps were slow, dragging a little, the hem of his toga dusted from the gravel.He looked tired. Hollowed out.But not afraid. Not cold.Not anymore.The orange-golden light of the torches behind them dimmed
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