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When The Heart Started To Forget
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2025-04-28 20:15:38
majmajmaj16sorry for the long wait! enjoy!
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LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Prologue - The End of Tyranny
Ides of January 41AD"Traitors! Die!" A praetorian guard shoutedโan elite protector of the imperial family.He wore a purple-dyed tunica militarisโa military tunicโreserved for a high-ranking praetorian officer, with a golden scorpion emblem adorning his shoulder sleeves. A horsehair-crested helmet rested on his head, covering his black hair.CLANG CLANGThe guard's yell sounded raw and desperate, echoing through the secret tunnels beneath the palatiumโthe imperial palaceโa stark contrast to the deathly silence that followed each clang of steel.His gladiusโa short swordโa glinting serpent in the torchlight, sliced through the air, the golden scorpion emblemโa brand of his loyaltyโflashing defiantly.A discarded wooden scabbard, a forgotten promise, lay on the damp, earthen floor, amid the bodies of his fallen brothersโthe brutal aftermath of their journey to the Palatine Games at the Circus Maximus.Two against seven. A hopeless dance of death. But only one of the two is fighting.The
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-22LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Battle at Weser River
The year is 16 AD. Last week of November. Weser River.The proud Germanic tribe, renowned for their ferocity in battle, had long been a thorn in the side of the Roman Empireโan empire constantly expanding its territory.Conquering them was no easy feat.Their everyday existence was a struggle, a stark contrast to the Romans' indulgence for leisure and entertainment.Germanic tribe's powerful, muscular physiquesโhoned by years of hunting, warfare, and hard laborโmade them formidable opponents.Aside from their battle-hardened frames, their strategy of swift raids for resources and prestige was their greatest strength.But their strength wasn't solely due to their martial skills. No. Not at all.Germania itself was an unconquerable landโan expanse of dense forests, vast marshes, scattered villages, and harsh, unrelenting winters.No cities. No roads. No easy path to domination.Even the people living here are having a hard time. So they are confident. Too confident.This time, however, f
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-22LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Little Boots
"The naming culture of Roman Empire is a bit complicated, to say the least..."Their naming convention varied between boys and girls, reflecting the inequality where males were favored more.This was the way of that time...However, this did not mean that most women accepted it without question. No. Of course not.But we shall leave that for now... Now, let me start again...In Roman Empire, when a baby boy was born, he was given a praenomen, or birth name.If he was born into a noble or imperial family, he would also receive additional names to reflect his family connections.This was called the nomen, or family name.While cognomen was the identifier of his family branch.Together, these three were referred to as the tria nomina.They add these names to emulate past predecessors, in the hopes for these children, specifically the boys, to grow, mirroring the same respect and power that their ancestors once had.This also applied if he was adopted into a new family.In contrast, girls
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-23LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Spring Has Come, with Hidden Intentions
Following their victory at the Weser River, Germanicus and his men began their march back to Vetera Castrum, still riding the high of battle.But not before paying a tribute to the fallen in Teotuborg Forest.Arminius's wife, Thusnelda, and her newborn baby accompanied them, as prisoners.As they entered the haunted depths of the forest, their triumph dulled into solemnity. This was more than a detourโit was a reckoning.For the first time in years, Roman boots disturbed the soil where three legions had perished.The air hung heavy with silence.It's been years, but the forest held the weight of their loss, a grim monument to Rome's bitter defeat.A brief prayer, led by Germanicus, rose through the ancient trees, a plea to the gods and goddesses for solace.Then, they retrieved the three aquilae (emblem), the lost eagles of the fallen legions, symbols of Rome's enduring spirit.That night, they camped beneath the towering trees, their only companion the distant, mournful call of an owl
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-24LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Bittersweet Taste of Victory
17AD, still around May, Palatine HillThe emperor had sent a messenger ahead to announce their arrival, ensuring that the people of Rome would be prepared for a triumphal procession.It was the highest honor bestowed upon a victorious general."Io triumphe!" "Waaaaahhhh!"The sudden outburst of the crowd startled Germanicus and his company.Thick scent of burning incense mingled with the people's voices.They've only just stepped inside the city.CLACK CLACKPetals rained from balconies."Io io io!" "Roma victoria!"It was to be expectedโRome had long awaited the end of this campaign.Though spring lingered, the air felt heavy and warm, unmoved by even the faintest breeze.The sheer mass of people flooding the Palatine Hill made the atmosphere stifling, pressing in from all sides."Waaaaah!" "Vivas Roma!"They all come to watch. Their eyes hungry for a glimpse of glory.The scent of fresh bread, thick incense smoke, and the sweat of thousands blended into something both intoxicating an
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-25LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Pompa Funebris
20AD, around early January, Palatine Hill..It's raining...PITTER-PATTER'Is it possible for the sky to mourn?'PITTER-PATTERLepidus wondered, tilting his head toward the endless expanse of darkness above.Raindrops pelted down, drenching his black hair, tracing cold paths down his pale skin.Goosebumps popping up.He squinted against the downpour, his eyes swollen and red-rimmed from crying.'The air smells of damp earthโฆ' He sniffled.His chest ached, tightening with an invisible force. 'The sky is darkโฆ and it's weeping.'Slowly, he pressed a trembling hand to his chest, as if the pressure could dull the pain inside.The pitter-pattering of the rain drummed against the cobblestones, each drop a lonely note in the melancholic melody that echoed his sorrow.SPLOSH SPLOSH Barefoot, shivering, Lepidus stood alone in the rain-soaked streets of Rome.Citizens hurried past himโmerchants, slaves, noblesโeach too absorbed in their own lives to notice the small, trembling figure in the sto
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-02-26LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Drusus Caesar
Years ago, before Germanicus's family depart to SyriaโฆDrusus Caesar was just a boy when he first overheard his father speaking of retirement.It was late, and the domus was quiet, save for the soft splash of water in the atrium's fountain.The torches in the atriumโthe central courtyard, where all the various rooms stemmedโflickered weakly, making the marble statues around the fountain cast long, eerie shadows.He had snuck out of his cubiculum, too restless to sleep after the triumphal procession in his father's honor.Drusus wanted to see himโto bask in the presence of his source of pride, his hero.But what he heard as he stood outside his parent's cubiculum made his heart sink."I have served Rome faithfully," Germanicus' voice was steady but weary. Drusus can heard his father moving while saying this."I have fought her battles, led her legions. Now that this is all over, I wish to step away. A quiet life, a farm perhapsโฆ far from the politics of Rome.." Then he paused.A rustlin
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-03-05LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย A Wife's Grief
'Hhhhnnnnnnnnnn..' A silent cry is being suppressed. It's caught in her throat. Trapped.Afraid to release it. She's barely hanging on with her sanity.Barely aware of what's going on around her.She's not even aware that her son Drusus Caesar has just slapped his younger brother Caligula, earlier.No.She's lost in her own little world.Her calceus-clad feet sank into the damp, rain-soaked grass, soft and yielding beneath her weight.The earth still held the memory of the recent downpour, puddles forming in its uneven embrace.SWISH SWISHEach step was sluggish, her long dark stola dragging through the wet ground, its hem absorbing mud and moisture until it grew heavy, a burden mirroring the weight in her chest.Her face was empty. Her eyes, vacant. But insideโ'Hhhhnnnnnnnnnn...'The sound was hers alone, a silent wail curling in her soul.She carried the urn close, its cold ceramic surface pressing against her chest as she trudged forward, her mind unable to form a single coherent t
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2025-03-06
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LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย When The Heart Started To Forget
The next day...Macro returned to his usual routineโstanding guard outside the prince's cubiculum, stone-faced as ever.But something had changed in the air.The door opened.Macro, who wasn't looking directly at Caligula, was waiting for the soft footfall on the marbled floor.Seconds passed.A full minute went by.No sound.No movement.A bead of sweat rolled down his temple.He can swear he even heard it when it hit the marble.Slowly, Macro moved his eyes and peeked from the corner of his vision.Caligula was just standing there, his back resting against the frame of the door.His hands folded on his chest. Crumpling his purple tunic.His other leg was crossed over the other.His posture seemed relaxed, but it felt like a bowstring stretched too tight.One move and it felt like the prince would snap and attack him.Alert. Like a viper.The pretty prince didn't exit his room like he used to.He didn't move at all.He stood motionless, like a statue.Staring at Macro.'Is he measurin
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Macro Heard The Whistle
Sometime around November. The day Sejanus' letter arrived at Capri Island 28 ADA whistle.Two tone.Caligula's been trying to learn it ever since he first heard it five years ago.But he never managed to do it.Not with his mouth. No.Instead, it echoes inside his head.The tune stays, curled up in the back of his brain like something half-alive.It's the only thing keeping his sanity.He tries to hum it, but the sound won't come.His throat is dry.He wishes there was something to drink.But there was none.'Waterโanythingโ!!'Even if it contains something that drives men past reason!........The sun had long since vanished, and the sea had gone black.Capri held its breath.But Caligula didn't know.He can't tell.Because there is no window.He sat on the cold stone floor, bare legs drawn up to his chest.His tunic was ripped and bunched at his waist, leaving his back and chest exposed, streaked with old bruises and new.The oil lamp flickered weakly against the far wall.Just a fl
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Revolt Of The Frisii
Sometime Around October 28 AD, Germania Inferior, Marshland East of the Rhine"Hmmmmm..."A low thrum stirred the stillness before dawn.It grew.A deep, resonant droneโheavy with numbers, thick with intent.A barritus.The battle-cry of Germania.Then came the tendrils of grey, snaking upward through the thinning branches of the forestโSmoke.Grey. Acrid. Hungry.The Germania tribe had returned.And at their forefrontโArminius.This was no petty rebellion.He did not rally for kingship.It was a reckoning.He rallied for vengeanceโraw and untamed, pulsed in the air.A bitter memory surfaced in Arminius's mind, sharp as a shattered glass.Sejanus.The snake.Yes, it had been Arminius who first approached himโbelieving that Sejanusโ ambition might be bargained with.He had offered something of value, hoping to secure his familyโs safety.And in return, once part of the promise was fulfilled, Sejanus would reveal their location.But in the end, the nature of the serpent does not change
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย What She Paid
Tiberius sat slumped beneath the statue of Augustus, like a man worn down by time, shadowed in black robes.He could hear footsteps.Slow.Deliberate.It was getting near.Then murmurs.He did not look up at first, even when it grew increasingly loud.Like the annoying buzzing of a hornet.When he did look up, his eyes were red.His face sagged.Hollow.His son had just died.And Agrippina had come to talk politics.Senators hot on her heels.As if she owned the place.His palace.The foolish senators stopped on their tracks, looked between themโsuddenly trapped between thunder and lightning.The buzzing stopped.Only Agrippina moved forward. Then stopped right in front of Tiberius.Silence stretched on.Agrippina's hazel eyes were trained on Tiberius's old, tired eyes.They measured each other.Then Tiberius raised one trembling hand."Leave us."The senators bowed and scattered like leaves in a storm.All that enthusiasm on the way from Curia Julia was gone in an instant.'Spineless
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Iโve Got You Now
Agrippina rose before the sun.As if she hadn't cried.As if she hadn't hurled a vase at the wall last nightโbecause of Antonia's words.Her pride had been scratched.All night she lay motionless, waiting for sleep that never arrived.But no one could tell. No trace remained.A bath.A female slave braided her hair in silence.The scent of something floral folded into her dress.Rituals. Armor.Outside, Rome stirred with a hangover.But not her.She stood before the mirrorโher speculumโand stared herself down without blinking.The reflection was thinner than she remembered.Older. Sharper.Gone was the old Agrippina.Something had burned away in her this past year.Or maybe it had only just become visible.Drusus the Younger was dead.And Tiberius had not come.Her mouth twitched.'You hide in your palatium while your son dies choking on roses. Just as you hid when you had my husband murdered.'She pressed a pearl pin into her black stola, twisting it with the precision of a blade.Th
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย The Defeated Hyena
Lucius was out of breath.It was vigilia tertia.Third watch.Late enough for the bakers, early enough for secrets.Lucius, a plebeianโs sonโborn to ash and breadโran without stopping.He didnโt pause to wipe the sweat from his brow. Didnโt slow to catch his breath.He ran like he was being chased by a pack of wolves.From Antoniaโs villa, down the winding alleys of the Palatine.Through night fog that curled around shuttered stalls and broken lampsโuntil the scent of ash, fig, and fresh dough told him he was close.His fatherโs thermopolium was still open.Always wasโespecially after dark, when the real customers came.He ducked under the worn awning of the bakeryโor the front of it, anywayโand pushed through the wooden door.Inside, the warmth of the ovens wrapped around him.Bread. Honey. Smoke. Burnt flour.Comforting. Safe, in theory.But his legs still shook. He stumbled.His tunic was wet, sticky. Not from rainโit was summer.It was his own sweat.His fatherโPublius, the baker
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Marc Aemilius Lepidus, Filius, Nihil
The praetorian guards were gone. The guests tooโlong gone.Only the ghosts of perfume and wine lingered in the air, drifting through the night like whispers.Faint laughter, fading musicโechoes of the party that had turned to horror because of his uncle Drusus the Younger's poisoning.It's so quiet.Drusus Caesar moved through the corridor, barefoot now, careful not to make a sound.In his hands, his sandals.He had already forgotten the poison he found in his motherโs cubiculumโand how heโd taken it and hidden it behind the tapestry.Now, he just regretted not moving faster.His curiosity about everything was getting in the way now.Slowing him down.If heโd slipped out of the cubiculum just a little earlier, maybe he wouldโve caught a glimpse of what happened.But noโheโd tried to play the clever delatorโlike a boy-legatus chasing the shadow whoโd planted poison in his motherโs room.As if it were some grand conspiracy.'Did his uncle really die? Who poisoned him? What happened afte
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย A Shame No One Stopped Me
The sound of armorโclinking. The march of many feet.Metal on rough marble.Sharp.Cold.No shouting.Only silent efficiency.The praetorian guards had arrived from the palatium.Not Tiberius.No Sejanus either.Only men in blackened bronze, masked by plumes and indifference.They moved through the hortus like shadows.Some went to Drususโs bodyโnow coveredโlifting it as if it were both fragile and foul.They wrapped him in purple linen.No ceremony.No priest.No incense.Just death.Others moved to Livia, to escort her out.She was pale, her eyes wideโnot with grief, but with the horror of survival.She could have died too. She hadnโt even known.She leaned into a servant, still straight with imperial steelโbut her poise was unraveling.A few guards bowed. Not deeply.Behind her, Livilla followed like a ghost.She didnโt cry.Didnโt speak.Her slaves hovered, flitting like insects, trying to soothe herโbut she didnโt notice.They were led out the side wayโnot through the colonnade.
LOVE AND HONOR: The Mad Emperor (BL)ย ย ย Stars and Moonlight
The path behind the villa urbana was narrow and winding, barely more than a trail carved between hedges and crumbling garden walls.It felt forgotten. Unkempt.A stark contrast to the boastful entrance.The air was warmโheavy with the scent of summer.No moon. No stars.At least not yet.Only torches lit along the edges of the estate, their flames flickering in the summer breeze.The world felt distant. Smaller somehow.As if all that mattered was this path.These two figures.Lepidus walked beside Caligula, not too close.Just near enough that if the boy stumbled, Lepidus could catch him.Caligula said nothing as his feet led Lepidus to the place he'd found after the chaos at the Circus Maximusโa place he now sought out for solace.He already memorized the path at heart.His footsteps were slow, dragging a little, the hem of his toga dusted from the gravel.He looked tired. Hollowed out.But not afraid. Not cold.Not anymore.The orange-golden light of the torches behind them dimmed
