Kabanata 11- Confession

“ So..” I reluctantly said while looking above the sky. Sobrang taas ng sikat ng araw ngayon at nakakasilaw ang liwanag na dala nito ngunit dahil sa mayabong na dahon ng punong aming kinalalagyan ay hindi ito naging malaking hadlang sa amin.

Once again we are the back of the orphanage. Naalala ko kung paano kami huling nagpunta dito, it was chaotic and scandalous. Nag-init ang pisngi ko dahil kahit kapwa na kami nakahiga sa isang kumot sa ilalim ng puno ay hindi padin binibitawan ni Matthew ang kamay ko.

He seems happy.. very happy because it is obvious that he is hiding a smile while looking at the sky. I glanced at him when he whistled once and a bird lands on his chest. Natatawa niya akong pinagmasdan ng mapasigaw ako dahil sa sobrang gulat sa ibon but in the end he shoo the bird away.

The dead silence and the peacefulness of the place is deafening. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahang kausapin si Matthew, it feels like all of my inhibitions and questions are all mixed up that I cannot even form a proper one. Matagal ko siyang hinintay na magsalita but like me, he just stayed there waiting for something.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan nag-umpisa pero magmula ng makilala ko siya ng mabuti ay para bang lagi na akong kinakabahan tuwing makikita ko siya. Siguro dahil noong una ay interesado lang ako, yup, I was interested when I first saw him in the marathon pero ngayon hindi nalang ako interesado but I am liking him to the point that he makes me tremble.

“ I like you.”

Agad akong napabangon dahil sa biglaang niyang sinabi. I looked at him in awe when he laughed like he didn’t just confess on me. Pinagmasdan ko siyang mabuti dahil sa posisyon niya, he looks comfortable dahil prente lang siyang nakahiga at nakatingin sa mga ulap. I tried to lure him and make him gaze at me by holding his chin but he just laughed at my actions.

“ Joke ba yun?!” I hysterically said bago ulit humiga sa tabi niya. I saw him glanced at me pouting and mimicking his words. Kung joke man iyon, it is not even funny! Ipinagkrus ko ang mga kamay ko sa aking tiyan at akmang tatalikod n asana ngunit nagulat nalang ako ng hilahin niya ang katawan ko palapit sa kanya.

My cheeks blushed because I am literally facing his chest. Sobrang lapit niya na pakiramdam ko maririnig niya ang malakas na pintig ng puso ko. I  tried to struggle and be free to his hugs but he just laughed again before hugging me tighter. Ramdam ko ang init ng hininga niya sa bandang noo ko at nagulat nalang ako when I feel his lips planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

“ Gusto kita, gustong-gusto kita Radia.” He softly said like he poured all of his heart in that confession. It wasn’t the longest or extravagant confession that I received in my life, it was just a simple and direct confession but it makes my heart flattered and moved.

Tumingala ako at tinignan siyang nanonood sa reaksiyon ko, unlike  earlier he wasn’t laughing or smiling but he is sporting a serious and nervous look like he is afraid that I am going to break his heart.

“ Do you like me?” I watched how his lips trembled when he asked those words.

Kailanman ay hindi ako nagkaproblema kapag may umaamin sa akin. I always know what I like and if I don’t like them, I will bluntly tell ngayon ay alam kong gusto ko si Matthew but why do I feel like I am out of words to answer back his confession.

Matagal akong nanahimik dahil parang tumigil ang paghinga ko at nakalimutan ko nang magsalita. The silence is killing me but I cannot utter a single word.

“ I will make you like me,” he confidently said before adjusting his position tugging me closer to his body. I can feel his hot breath touching my face and his hands slowly drawing circle at my back. Para akong kinikiliti dahil sa sensasyong nararamdaman but then I remembered that I need to answer his question.

“ You don’t need to, I already like you.”

Those are the words that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t sweet nor aesthetic confession but the butterfly inside my stomach get chaotic because of how his eyes twinkles with those words.

“ Pinakaba mo ako!” he playfully said before leaning down and placing a kiss in my lips. It wasn’t our first kiss but it feels like it because of the magical feeling that envelope us right at that time. Hindi ako umilag o nag-isip ng kahit ano, the kiss drowned me and I get drowned happily.

Akala ko ay matatapos lang iyon sa isang simpleng h***k to seal whatever confessions that we have but when Matthew pull me closer, I felt him deepening our kiss in an most sensual way. Naghahabol na ako ng hininga pero parang wala lang sa kanya dahil patuloy padin siya sa pagh***k, when he sense that I need air he lowers his kiss right at the side of my neck hindi pa siya nakuntento dahil tinanggal niya ang braso niya na siyang pinagpapatungan ng ulunan ko and he moves just on top of me.

I blushed when I saw our position, I tried to look straight in his eyes but all I can see is thirst and love. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at nagpadala sa gusto niyang gawin. He is now moving on top of me kissing my jaw and licking the side of my neck. Nanghihina kong hinawakan ang buhok niya contemplating whether I want to stop him or I want him to give me more.

Masyado kaming nagpadala sa init ng nararamdaman hanggang sa napabalikwas nalang kami dahil may narinig kaming mga hakbang ng taong papalapit. He looks shocked and I looked turned on because of the sensation that he gave me. Wala pa ako sa tamang pag-iisip ng hinila niya ako patayo at ang kumot pagkatapos ay tumakbo patungo sa likod ng puno ng acacia.

He throws the blanket just beneath the tall grass and makes me lean on the tree. Palapit na ng palapit ang tunog na mas nakapagpakaba sa akin. If my daddy will found out about this, I will be dead… drop dead.

Sinenyasan ako ni Matthew na tumahimik but because of nervousness I keep on gulping so he doesn’t have a choice but to put his hand in my mouth to stop any sound. Ilang saglit lang ay nakita ko ng dumaan ang mga madre paalis sa lugar hindi ito napansin ni Matthew dahil sa ibang direksiyon ito nakatingin.

I smirked because something came out of my mind and starts licking his hand that is covering my mouth. Ramdam kong natigilan siya lalo na ng bigla siyang tumingin sa akin sa nanlalaking mga mata. He shook his head when he saw me smirking and teasing him kaya mas lalo ko pang pinagbuti.

I laughed when I heard him groan and hissed because of the sensation not until he pull his hand and make me lean more to the tree before he crush his lips on me. Unlike before it wasn’t soft or sensual, it was rough and needy something that I didn’t imagine. He kissed me more like he is punishing me for teasing him and I didn’t back down dahil kung gaano kapusok ang h***k niya ay ganoon din ang iginanti ko dito.

Right beneath the shade of the tree, I just found myself responding to his deep kisses.