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Kabanata 15- Think
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2021-07-16 19:45:05“ Are you alright?” tanong ni Matthew ng makita niyang nakatulala ako sa loob ng tent. I wasn’t really thinking of anything aside from what his ex-girlfriend said earlier. Pinipilit kong patatagin ang loob ko at ngumiti kay Matthew but then I saw the woman walking towards our direction smirking at me pero ng lumingon si Matthew ay agad iyong napalitan ng mala-anghel na ngiti.
“ I didn’t know you’re here Matt!” she sound like a conservative angel malayong malayo sa paraan ng pananalita niya kanina. Matthew held my hand and she looked at it, hindi maitago ang pait na nararamdaman but a minute later she smile again like nothing happened.
“ Yeah,” maikling sagot ni Matthew still looking at me and not minding her presence pero ng tinawag sila na pinakahead ng community service ay walang choice si Matthew kung hindi sumabay sa kanya. She seems to be having a hard time scoring a real conversation with Matthew pero hindi siya nagtatagumpay dahil hindi man lang siya tapunan n
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KISMET Kabanata 16- Identity
One week have passed and then another long week and another week without Matthew. I’ve waited almost everyday but he didn’t call nor sent me any messages about our argument and just like that I’ve accepted our fate that maybe that was the last time that I will saw him and I will be happy with him. It’s like a borrowed time…a borrowed moment and I didn’t realized it until I am here crying and hurting because of him. “ You know what?! Fuck him! Don’t destroy yourself like this!” sigaw ni Stefan matapos akong panoorin na umiinom nanaman sa bar niya. It is our summer break pero lagi akong nakatambay dito at nagpapakalango sa alak buti nalang ay dito lang din nagtrabaho si Stefan kaya libre akong pumunta dito kahit tanghaling tapat. “ Do you believe in fate?” tipsy, I asked him and looked directly at his eyes. He looks tired and pained watching me like this pero anong magagawa niya if this is the only way I know to stop the pain that I am feeling. “ Maybe it’s not
Last Updated : 2021-07-16KISMET Kabanata 17- Wasted
“ So how do you wanna start this?” nakangiti kong tanong kay Stefan ng makapunta kami sa gitna ng dance floor ng club. My arm is clinging into his neck while we are dancing in the middle of the crowd dahil nagsimulang magpatugtog ang dj ng slow songs. I laughed when he smirk at me and get his phone out of his suit. Pinanood ko siyang magpindot pindot doon until he looked upstairs kung nasaan ang station ng dj, the dj assigned then winked at him and quickly change the music into a party mix. Sobrang naglundagan ang mga tao at umugong ang tunog ng hiyawan sa buong lugar. Tinawanan ko si Stefan ng igiya niya ako sa pinakagitna ang nakapamaywang na hinamon ako ng sayaw and just like before I put my hands in air and dance wildly as if I didn’t mind anything that is beside me. Mas lalong lumakas ang hiyawan ng magseductive dance ako at hilahin ang isang lalaki bago mag-grind dito. I watch how he catches his breathe at mabilis din na lumayo ng magsimula na siyang humawak sa baywang
Last Updated : 2021-07-16KISMET Kabanata 18- Stefan
“Do you think I like good on this? Parang masyadong maikli naman!” Radia pouted while looking at herself in the mirror, umikot pa siya doon pero hindi talaga niya gusto kung gaano kaikli ang suot niyang dress. Stefan who is playing mobile games in her bed looked at her in disbelief and scoffed because of what he heard. “Look at these,” he said before doing something in his phone and showing it to her. Her face looked shocked because of what she is wearing in that picture hanggang sa tinignan niya ang lahat ng nakasave doon and they are all in same length. “ Halla!” she said and laughed at herself before looking in the mirror dahil mukhang mas disente pang tignan ang suot niya ngayon kaysa sa mga suot niya sa mga larawan na ipinakita ni Stefan. “ Hindi ako kumportable,” nasabi niya sa sarili bago pumasok ulit sa kanyang walk-in-closet at magpalit ng simpleng damit. Stefan scoffed and looked irritated again ng makita niya kung ano ang ipinalit k
Last Updated : 2021-07-16KISMET Kabanata 19- Message
“ Hello po! Nakakuha na ba iyong mga bata doon sa isang table?” tanong ko sa kasamahan ko na nagpapafeeding ngayon dito sa isang orphanage. I’ve been visiting different orphanage kahit busy ako sa school at sa thesis. I’m in my senior year and I am really stressed about it so I need some refreshments but unlike before I didn’t chose to go to bars and drink until I get wasted kundi naghanap ako ng mga charity at orphanage na pwede kong matulungan. My parents is so happy about these activities that they support me and funded my projects. Nakangiti kong pinanood ang mga batang masayang kumakain sa inihanda naming maliit na meryenda. We organize a children party for them to enjoy and have fun. “ Ate! Ate!” Umupo ako para pumantay ang paningin ko sa batang lalaki na hinihila ang pantalon ko. “ Hi! Bakit?” I said before looking at him. He looks like his just 6 years old at nakakaawa ang kondisyon ng balat niya. Marami siyang pantal-pantal at
Last Updated : 2021-07-16KISMET Kabanata 20- Missing You
"How come you can’t do anything right?” I looked at Stefan bago siya batuhin ng board eraser na hawak ko. He is my thesis partner and we are currently discussing our concept design. May ipinapa-revise kasi ang professor namin at hindi kami magkasundo pagdating sa design. “ Magulo ka kasing kausap!” I told him bago inagaw ang white board marker at nagsimulang mag-drawing sa nakasabi na board sa harapan namin. We are in his condo unit at dito na ata kami naglalaging dalawa just to finish this thesis. “ Eto nga kasi wala sa standards! Hindi ka kasi nakinig noong diniscuss iyong national code sa mga buildings!” galit kong ipinunto ang mga bagay na iyon habang nanlilisik na tumingin sa kanya. It’s 3 in the morning and we are debating, parehong ayaw magpatalo. “ Pangit ngang tignan kung may column na ilalagay diyan! Tignan mo yang concept natin tapos lalagyan mo ng poste?! Sige saan ka nakakita ng ganyan hah?!” papilit niya sa sinasabi habang idinuduro ang i-
Last Updated : 2021-07-16KISMET Kabanata 21- Graduation
“ Alfonso, Radia Yvette. Bachelor of Science in Architecture, Cum laude.” I smiled at everyone habang tinatanggap ko ang aking diploma. I never imagined myself graduating with flying colors dahil pangarap ko lang naman ang maging arkitekto, but then looking back I saw how I struggled to get a perfect score. I sleep late at night just to finish a plate or I skip meals just so I have more spare time.Sobrang daming paghihirap pero kapag nandito na pala ay tsaka mo lang maaapreciate lahat ng paghihirap na iyon. I know that may board exam pa at marami pa akong pagdadaanan but I am so proud that I made it! I really made it at kaunting kembot nalang ay malapit na akong maging isang ganap na arkitekto. All of those hardships are worth something and I am worth of something. Nakangiti din akong pumalakpak ng tinawag si Stefan. I shouted that I am so proud of him when he accepted his diploma of being magna cumlaude, he is the top of the class and that was something. Ang
Last Updated : 2021-07-18KISMET Kabanata 22- Not Sure
“ So what did he say?” tsismosong tanong ni Stefan habang nasa kama ko siya at naglalaro ng mobile games. I told him everything about Matthew and how I asked if he is ready to talk with me about what happened. “ Hulaan mo,” I teased him before I just found a pillow landing straight to my face. Inis kong kinuha iyon at ibinato pabalik sa kanya. “ Stupid!” I said before dragging the box out of my bedroom. Kanina pa ako nag-aayos ng mga gamit at libro dahil graduate na ako, naks! Pero sa totoo lang ay ipapaayos kasi ang kwarto ko dahil sa ilang bitak sa gilid kaya inaayos ko ang ilan sa mga kalat and Stefan is supposed to help me pero as expected ay wala talaga siyang pakinabang. “ Ikaw ang stupid! Marupok ka!” he said hurting my feelings. It wasn’t true! Dahil kung marupok ako ay sana hindi ko na tinanong si Matthew at basta bastang nalang nakipag-ayos sa kanya. “ No, I wasn’t!” I told him before running in his directions and getting a fistful of his ha
Last Updated : 2021-07-19KISMET Kabanata 23- Always There
Kung gaano ako nawindang dahil sa narealize ko ay ganoon din ang hitsura ni Matthew. I saw how his eyes widened and how he looked at me like I just betrayed the shit out of him. “ After everything?! You’re gay?!” gulat ko pading tanong sa kanya bago uminom sa kape sa harapan ko. Agad ko lang din iyong nabitawan dahil napaso ang dila ko. Fuck! I didn’t even think that the coffee would be hot at basta ko nalang ininom iyon. “ Shit! Are you okay?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Matthew bago lumapit sa akin. My mind cannot process everything lalo na ng hawakan niya ang baba ko at pilit iharap sa kanya. “ Patingin nga ako ng dila mo.” “ Heh?” I asked him pero inilabas ko padin ang napasong dila. I am just looking at him, worried about my tongue, when suddenly he leaned down and kiss the tip of it. Agad akong napalayo dahil sa ginawa niya at tumingin sa paligid dahil sobra akong naeskandalo. He just kissed the tip of my tongue! Matthew did that in a public place!
Last Updated : 2021-07-21
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KISMET Kabanata 53
“ Tell me that you didn’t get hurt,” malakas kong sabi sa kanya matapos kong buksan ang pintuan at makita siya sa kanyang mesa.Nothings changed. He was still in his messy dress shirt pero ngayon ko lang napansin ang maliit na sugat sa gilid ng labi niya. Immediately, I found myself grabbing his jaw to look at it.Marahan niyang hinawi ang kamay ko. “ Hindi mo na kailangang malaman.”“ Stefan naman,” sabi ko matapos mabatid na hanggang ngayon ay galit padin siya. The last time, he told me to avoid each other pero hindi ko pala kayang gawin iyon sa kanya.We’ve been friends ever since that I can remember, it is not easy to let go when every part of me remembers him. I just cannot leave him behind just because both of us cannot settle a feeling that should’ve never sufficed in the first place.Hinarap ko si Stefan sakin bago huminga ng malalim. “ I broke up with Rameses,” sumbong
KISMET Chapter 52
" Grabe ka na talaga, Architect. Ganito ba kapag broken? Mas lalong gumaganda?"Napairap nalang ako sa pambobola ni Nathaniel matapos kong ilapag ang dala kong coffee para sa amin ngayong araw. It's morning and usually, we will have our meeting for the plans that is approved before mag-proceed sa pagpapatayo ng mga infrastracture. It's a usual meeting, assembly meeting actually matapos lahat ng nakakapagod na pangyayari sa buhay naming lahat.Luckily, no one leaves the company. Stefan is still the head of the firm, he is still avoiding me but I don't think it's because he's angry. It's to tame our wild heart, the one that is broken for too long. I just wished that it will be fixed immediately, because Stefan? I miss his banters and just being with him.He's my soulmate. Lagi lagi at magpakailanman.Rameses entered the room, he's not happy nor sad. Usual na talaga para sa kanya ang poker face habang bitbit ang mahiwagang leather bag
KISMET Kabanata 51
“ You’re breaking up with me?” kalmadong tanong ni Rameses matapos niyang tumingin sakin habang nakasandal sa salamin na pader ng kanyang condo. I simply nodded and look so small while sitting in his bed. Sinadya ko siyang puntahan dito, just to say that I want to break-up.Tinignan niya ako na para bang nagpapatawa ako. “Wala pa tayong one month,” he pointed out before stepping forward and sitting in front of me with both of his knees touching the floor.“ Why?” he asked in a serious voice, holding my face with both of his hands and making me looked at him. He looks confused and hurt at the same time.Sabi ko sa sarili ko, it’s wrong. Mali na magmahal hangga’t hindi pa naghihilom ang sugat sa puso ko. I chose to see this and needed to do this for the sake of our heart.“ You’re a good man, baby.” I smile as the words came out of my mouth. Rameses is indeed a good
KISMET Kabanata 50
Saksi ang mga kumikinang na mga butuin sa kalangitan kung paano ko nagustuhan at minahal si Matthew dahil sa mabuti niyang puso, ngunit ang makita siyang lango sa alak at gumagawa ng mga bayolenteng bagay ay talaga namang nakakapagpagababag sa aking isipan.“ Matthew!” Agad kaming napahinto sa paglalakad ni Matthew ng marinig namin ang hinihingal na tawag ni Sabrina. Right, the fiancé.She looks so messed up. “ Sa gilid lang ako, after your talk, I will bring you home,” she concluded before she looked at me with so much pain in her eyes. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko, she’s a homewrecker who ruined our relationship but why does it feels like she’s suffering too much?Ni hindi man lang siya tinapunan ng kahit anong tugon ni Matthew bagkus ay nagpatuloy lang ito sa paglalakad. Pagod na tumingin sakin si Sabrina ngunit ngumiti siya kalaunan at hinayaan akong umalis at sundan ang kanyang minamahal.After I
KISMET Kabanata 49
“ Wuhoo! Power shot!” Magkasabay naming nilagok ni Rameses ang hawak naming whiskey matapos naming magkita para ngayong gabi. The brute really did resign from work at hindi din ako pinapansin ni Stefan. The atmosphere is so gloomy to the point that I didn’t even know what is happening to our life right now. Kanina lang ay naabutan ko nanaman siya, with the girl that I caught the last time…I think they are doing some nasty things in the office. Hindi naman ganoon si Stefan, before, he can still be decent pero ngayon mukhang lantaran na. “ I’m jealous.” “ Huh?” agad kong tanong kay Rameses ng higitin niya ako pasandal sa kanyang matigas na dibdib. We are in the corner of this bar, leaning into the glass railings habang nakatingin sa mga sumasayaw sa ibaba. I insisted to be here dahil hindi ko na masikmura ang nakakasulasok na amoy ng alak at sigarilyo sa baba. Palibhasa’y mukhang disente ang pangalawang palapag kaya’t napapayag ako ni Ram
KISMET Kabanata 48
Sobrang lakas ng tawa ko ng mabilis akong kiniliti ni Rameses habang nakatingin sa harap ng salamin. Hindi muna kami umuwi at nagdesisyong huwag munang pumasok sa trabaho para masulit namin ang pagpunta dito sa Baguio.“ Sure ka ba na magreresign ka?” Nag-aalala kong tanong kay Rameses habang nag-eemail ito ng letter niya kay Stefan. Buong magdamag niya ata akong kinulit para dito pero hindi ko padin maisip kung bakit kailangan niyang gawin iyon. Technically, isa padin ako sa mga may-ari ng kumpanya kaya pwede akong hindi pumasok kahit kailan ko gusto. Nag-iwan naman ako ng mensahe kay Stefan pero alam kong hindi niya ako sasagutin dahil sa huling pag-uusap namin.Seryoso lang si Rameses na bumalik sa kanyang laptop. Noong una ko siyang nakita, hindi ko naisip na balak niyang mag-abogado. All I know is that he’s a medical student before until he decided to shift into the legal career. Mukha naman siyang masaya sa ginagawa niya pero minsan napapaisip a
KISMET Kabanata 47
“ Still cold, babe?”Pakiramdam ko ay sobrang pula na nang mukha ko dahil sa mga ginagawa ni Rameses. He found me bawling my eyes in the office after I heard what Stefan said. Umiling ako dito at tumingin nalang sa magandang tanawin ng night lights dito sa Baguio City. No matter how beautiful the view is, all I can think about is Stefan. Pagod akong napabuntong-hininga bago ko naramdaman na mas hinapit ako ni Rameses sa kanyang katawan.He’s hugging me from behind. And I don’t know where this feeling started pero sobrang komportable ko sa kanya. It feels like, I am home.Gamit ang isang libreng kamay ay marahan niyang hinaplos ang hibla ng aking mga buhok. “ I thought this would make you happy.”“ Hmmm… I’m happy, thank you, Rameses.” Pinilit kong pasayahin ang boses ko para hindi siya masaktan. Alam kong he’s doing all of his efforts pero magulo lang kasi ang buhay ko. Bumuntong-hininga s
KISMET Kabanata 46
“Delivery?!”Napairap ako ng makita ang nakangising mukha ni Engr. Corpuz. May hawak pa itong milktea sa kanyang kamay habang masayang inaabot ‘to sakin. On this gloomy office, siya lang mag-isa ang may ganang ngumiti ngayong araw. We are all busy doing our works, no one is coming outside of our office at ramdam ng mga empleyado iyon, lalo na dahil parehas na mainit ang ulo ni Stefan at Rameses.“ I told you, mali itong drinaft mo!”Huminga ako ng malalim at kinuha ang papel bago ito marahas na nilukot. That was Rameses, scolding his assistant. Pang-ilang sigaw na ba iyong narinig ko ngayong araw? Mukhang nagpapalitan lang sila ni Stefan. Hindi ko na mabilang sa daliri ko kung ilang empleyado na ang nakita kong umiiyak dahil sa mga ugali nila.“ Tsk….ganda mo kasi, Architect.” Mabilis na umilag si Engr. Corpuz matapos kong ibato sa kanya ang blueprint na hawak ko. Kanina pa ako n
KISMET Kabanata 45
The sound of my heels echoes along the empty hallway of our office. Mukhang napaaga ata ako dahil kahit isang tao ay wala akong nakikita. I looked at my wristwatch and notice na medyo napaaga nga ang oras ng dating ko. Stefan and I needed a brief meeting about some of the building plan na na-bid namin. But I guess he wasn’t here yet. Nangilabot ako ng makarinig ako ng malakas na boses na parang nahihirapan kasabay ng ilang kalampag ng mga bagay. Huminto muna ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa nagdesisyon ako na sundan ang pinagmumulan ng ingay. I was curious and frozen in my place when I noticed where it was coming from. Nakatayo ako sa harap ng opisina ni Stefan, nakasarado ang mga blinds ng kanyang bintana but the wooden door wasn’t locked.Pinihit ko iyon at nagulantang sa nakita. “ What the hell?!” I shouted when I saw Stefan, sitting in his office chair, nakapikit at sarap na sarap habang may babae sa paanan nito. Parehas kaming nagulat sa presensya ng
