11. Hanna

My hands trembled and the hairs behind my neck stood on edge.

This wasn't possible. This couldn't be so. How in the name of the heaven's was this possible?

Victor stared at the paper in disbelieve, staring at that one word scribbled on the paper. "Yes."

I took a few steps backwards, ready to erase his memory if he freaked out. I had no idea how something like this could happen. I could offer no proper explanation. But all I could do was take care of the aftermath to come.

I waited for Victor to shriek in horror and toss the paper away. But he however, took a deep breath, composed himself, and continued.

"So you are real after all. It's so good to meet you."

I knew he was scared, I could smell his fear, but Victor didn't want to show it. He wanted to muster up that little courage he had left in order to prevent freaking out.

I slowly sat in the bed again, facing him.

"It's good hearing from you too. Honestly, I didn't know something like this was possible. I didn't know you would be able to see me write."

I wrote in the paper and Victor took in the words. "What do you mean? Didn't you know that it would be possible? How?"

I looked at him intently, writing, "I am a spirit, or whatever you guys call me. I can't be seen or heard by humans. But I didn't know you could see me write."

Victor nodded his head in understanding. A while later, he said, "Can I see you?"

Of course he couldn't. I was standing right in front of him.

"I'm sorry, But I guess you can't. I'm right in this room, but you can't see me." I wrote.

With a smile, he asked again, 'Where are you right now?"

"I'm right infront of you. Facing you."

Victor looked up at me but wasn't actually seeing me. He looked scared with the thought in his head that there was someone else in the room with him apart from Tin, who he couldn't even see, since she was a ghost.

"I know you are scared, and I'm sorry for scaring you. But I promise that I will never hurt you guys." I wrote.  This seemed to have brought him to ease.

With excitement gleaming in his eyes, he asked, "Can I tell the others about it? About you? They must know too shouldn't they?"

I sighed and wrote, "We will let them know. But not just now. I'm  scared it might frighten them. Even Jules and Justin who seem to believe in me. For now, let's keep it between us. We will tell when the right time comes. I have a few things to handle myself."

Victor nodded happily, saying goodnight and drifting off to sleep. I floated back to the window and gazed outside.

After so long,  it felt good to talk to someone living.  And the best thing of all was it was Victor of Heathens whom I talked to.

Who would imagine something like this would be possible after you die?

Victor still didn't know I was a late fan. I would  just tell him when the time came. Right then, my main aim was to find who murdered me and why.

-------

"So what else can you do? Can you read minds?" Victor asked enthusiastically. I sighed and wrote, "Yes. For the hundredth time now." 

I didn't bother holding the pencil since I could just do it with telekinisis from where I sat- or floated.

It's been hours since Victor had been asking me questions of what I could do and what I couldn't do. He had asked this question like millions of times, if I could read minds, only in different styles.

It was as if he was making sure I wasn't reading there thoughts secretly. In all honesty,  I didn't, and even if I did, it's not like I had someone to share them to.

"By the way, why do you keep calling me by name? Are you suppsed to do that? Are angels and guardians allowed to do that?"

I had no answer to that whatsoever. I had been calling him by name since the beginning of being a fan and until now. I had no other name to call him. Calling him any nicknames just didn't feel right to me for some reason, so I stuck to calling them Victor.

He had no idea that I was a dead fan. Nor did the others. Had they known, I had no idea how they would react to that.

"I just call you that since I don't have anything else to call you. Why, do you mind?" I wrote.

Victor quickly shook his head. "No of course not. It's just that I was curious. Did I upset you?"

I stared at him for a while as he stopped playing with his collar.

Oh Victor! If only you knew who I was!

"No. Not at all." I wrote back.

For a while, none of us spoke and I felt the need to go check on the other's.

Heathens were supposed to have dinner with Tomorror and Lee Roy, a solo singer that day, and Victor was taking ages to get ready. I had to check on the other's.

Just when I was about to leave, Victor's voice stopped me.

"So what are you actually? Are you an Angel or a Guardian?"

I smiled at the thought that Victor thought I was an angel. "There are three types. An angel. A guardian. And a demon. It's just a matter of how we live our lives that we shall end up living in one of these ways."

I wrote from my memory of the time when I first died. The thoughts that swirled in my head while I lay dying.

Victor takes the information in. "And which one you might be?"

"A guardian." I wrote.

Victor squealed in excitement. "Ha! A guardian! We have a guardian! Heathens guardian! The boys would be thrilled to know this! But of course I can't tell them. Not yet."

I nodded even if he could not see me.

"What do you think will I become once I die?" It was Victor asking. Everything was silent.

I had no idea what to write to this. I had never thought about his death. I had never thought of anyone of their deaths. The thought however stung my dead heart.

"Not all become one of these. Sometimes, some souls just tend to live as Lord's servant for the rest of the eternity, living in heaven. That isn't so bad is it?"

Victor nodded. I was glad he understood. "How did you die then? Is your death famous? Do we happen to know it by any chance?" Victor asked the question I had been most dreading.

"It hasn't been long since I died. Just a few months." I managed to write this one sentence. It was clear that Victor didn't realize how much his questions were affecting me. I could feel the dead tears pooling in my eyes, but I held them back.

Not just yet.

"It hasn't been long since all these miracles started happening to us. Let's say, six months? Something liks that. Whats your name then?" Victor pressed on.

"I.....I can't tell you." I tear slided down my pale cheeks.

"Why not?" His voice was soft like that of a child. This made me cry harder and for the first time I was happy that no one could see me. Not Victor. Not anyone.

"I just can't. You have to find out yourself. Only then will you be able to see me."

"What do you mean?" Victor tilted his head sideways in confusion.

"True belief. That's what you need. You need to trully believe that I exist. Only then can you see me."

"But I do believe in you! You are talking to me right now! How come I not believe in you?" I could feel Victor's frustration.

"Not like this. You have to believe in the ME before I died. The girl I was before I died. It's up to you to find out."

Victor didn't say anything to that. He was taking everything in. He had a new task in hand.

Our silence was interrupted by a phone call on Victor's phone. The number was anonymous and it took a while before Victor answered the call.

"Hello?" He greeted.

"Vicky?" An unfamiliar female voice came.

Victor knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. "Who is this?"

"It's me Vicky! Hanna! Do you remember me from earlier? You lost your phone, and I brought it to you? Remember?"

Victor didn't answer. He was still confused. Hanna started feeling frustrated as if Victor just forgot  their wedding anniversery.

Something didn't feel right.

Finally, the bells rang in Victor's head and he replied with a loud 'Ah!'. Hanna giggled giddily. I rolled my eyes.

But suddenly, an alarm started ringing in my head. How the hell did she get his number? Did she.... steal from his phone?

I wrote the word's in the paper to show them to Victor. The paper floated in front of his face and he read slowly.

Victor slowly thought about it too, then he asked her. "Beg your pardon but, how did you come across my number?"

It was clear that Hanna didn't like the question. Quickly, her tone changed. "Is that more important right now?"

Her voice wasn't harsh but cold. I could feel the terror rising in him. Victor was scared, and that made me angry.

"Hang up." I scribbled the words on the paper.

It just took those two little words for Victor to move his muscles and and with one click, the call was gone, the number in the black list.