I kissed my father’s best friend Nathaniel, it kind of didn’t go well. Not only because he’s eighteen years older than me—but he also didn’t like it. Not one bit. In my defense, I didn’t mean to fall for him. It just happened. I find him to be the most attractive man I've ever seen, with enough charisma to blind the sun. However, he is forbidden for me because he is much older than I am , and my feelings towards him are considered wrong. I tried to get over him, but after we are forced to get married, I realizes that I've fallen for him and that he may be feeling the same way. Despite our age difference, we both seem to be reaching for the forbidden fruit that dangles between us. The problem is that when I kissed him, he did not like it, making me feel trapped.
View MoreGwynethThe getting married part didn’t make me want to throw my guts up.I mean, it should’ve been simple, but it really wasn’t.Probably because I was half-dazed and half-fuming at Aspen’s presence. Yes, I knew she was going to be there. She’s close to Nate’s age and works with him, after all.Gag.But yeah, seeing her there might’ve brought out the temper I usually try to bury inside. It’s toxic, you know. Like, super toxic, and I don’t want to be that person in front of Nate on our wedding day.Aspen didn’t do anything either. Her mere existence is enough to push me to my limit.Anyway, it’s over. We’re married. We put on rings in front of the judge, but we removed them as soon as the ceremony ended because Nate made it clear that this whole marriage is a secret and no one but the four of us, and Susan, will know about it. He has those rings now, in his pocket, and he’ll probably throw them away the minute he’s out of view.We’ll have our certificate soon and then everything will f
“About what?” I totally wasn’t listening, because he’s still touching me. He still has his warm hand on my elbow. Nate doesn’t do that, you know. He doesn’t touch me. Ever. I’m the one who tries it and fails miserably every time.But he’s doing it right now.And it’s hard to focus when I’m floating in the clouds.“About how you’re not a burden.”My heart jolts and I can’t control the tremor that shoots through my limbs. It’s a knee-jerk reaction that gives away my emotions and I hate it. Especially in front of him. The man who’s the reason behind it every damn time.“I am.” I lower my head, staring at my white sneakers, and that automatically makes me look at his prim leather shoes. And the difference between his and mine is so striking that it helps to anchor me in the moment, even if temporarily. “I know you’re marrying me because you want to protect Dad’s assets and that’s okay, but it still makes me a burden. Because I’m not old enough to take care of things myself and I didn’t ev
GwynethI haven’t slept all night.And that’s sort of a problem because I become jittery and a bit neurotic when I don’t sleep.Insomnia and I aren’t strangers, especially since I didn’t manage to completely desensitize myself to that word. It might be written in a red Sharpie because it’s one of the words I struggle with the most.Along withdeath.I think I also need to addmoving onto the red list because I can’t do that. I’m supposed to, Ihaveto, but my mind is stuck in a different type of loop that I can’t escape.So I spent the night in the closet. I wanted to stay with Dad, but Nate said in that stern voice of his to “go home and get some sleep” because tomorrow—today—is a big day. He didn’t voice the last part, but I figured it out on my own.However, I couldn’t just get some sleep. Not even after I blasted Twenty One Pilots on my headphones and exhausted myself by dancing. Not even when I swallowed like three sleeping pills. Or maybe it was five. I lost count somewhere.My mind
Nathaniel“Do you have any fucking idea what you’re doing?”I sigh for the thousandth time today and face my nephew—the source of the unnecessary question.“He does,” Aspen tells him with her usual assertiveness.The three of us are standing near City Hall, ignoring the people buzzing around us, and focusing on the time. Or I’m probably the only one who’s having an unhealthy obsession with my watch.Gwyneth is twenty minutes late.Surely there’s a reason behind her tardiness. She’s never been the type who’s late to appointments. Or irresponsible.Though it’s true that getting married only five days after her father’s accident isn’t a normal situation, it’s not like we have time. The sooner she gives me power of attorney, the easier I can stop Susan’s moves. Because she’s plotting them as we speak. I made calls, talked to judges, and I know about the subpoenas her lawyer is trying to file. I can only ward her off for so long before I run out of options.Time isn’t on our side, which is
Her eyes spark in a myriad of blue, gray, and green. Bright fucking green that I thought wouldn’t make an appearance again after King’s accident.I hate the way she looks at me. I fucking loathe it.Because it’s not just a gaze, it’s not mere eye contact. It’s words and phrases I don’t want to decipher.I let her go and she staggers a little, as if she’s been floating on air and her feet are finally touching the ground. It’s where she’s supposed to always be—on the ground—not in the clouds she sometimes ascends to.But even though I’m not touching her anymore, she’s still touching a part of me. My jacket is held snugly to her chest as if it’s some sort of armor—one she won’t let go of.And I need to stop thinking about what that jacket is touching, because that’s just fucked up.“It’s not that I want to marry you.”A swallow, a clink of nails, a slight jump in her shoulders. I’ve always hated how expressive she is but that she can still hide more than she shows.“Then why did you say
NathanielNecessity.I’ve never liked that word. It’s because of necessity that my brother decided to leave the country, and that got him killed.It’s because of necessity that people vote for the likes of my father to represent them in spite of the fact that he only cares about himself.In a way, necessity is the root of all evil. Decisions based on it are a bit impulsive and almost always have dire consequences down the line. Ones that could be dangerous, lethal even.Of all people, I’m well aware of the dangerous repercussions of hasty actions. I never decide anything unless I have a 360-degree view of the entire situation as well as all of its possible results. This is the first time I’ve taken a step into territory that hasn’t been carefully plotted. It’s like walking through a minefield with a blindfold on.But just like earlier, I don’t think about the possible repercussions. I shove them to the back of my mind and focus on the now. On the present and its own sets of cause and
I can’t go back to the house we called ours and pick up nonexistent pieces of myself.How can I when everything in there bears witness to how well and hard he raised me and how much he sacrificed himself for me?I didn’t even consider moving out after high school. People my age want to get away from their parents, but I didn’t. It’s where home is.A sudden shiver jolts me upright when the jacket that’s been covering me falls down my arms and to my lap.My fingers trace the material and I’m surprised they don’t catch fire. It doesn’t matter that I don’t remember him putting it on me, or how I even ended up lying in the chair. The smell gives it away. A little bit spicy and woodsy with an undertone of musk, but it’s still strong and manly and so much like him.The man I hugged and whose chest I cried into.The man whose shirt I probably messed up.He didn’t touch me back, didn’t console me, but having him there, even immobile, was enough for me.He still had his body tight and rigid lik
GwynethWhen I was a kid, I had a problem learning words. I don’t know why. I have a high IQ, and I can figure out my way around things, but memorizing words was a bit difficult.The professionals my dad took me to thought I had some form of dyslexia, but it’s not like I couldn’t read or recognize words. It’s not that they all appeared the same. They just appeared alive.You know that feeling when you’re reading something and it nearly jumps off the page at you? For me, it was literal, and that’s exactly how it felt. As if the words were coming after me.Turns out, I didn’t have a problem with all the words. Just the negative ones. The words that make my skin itchy and my vision turn hazy. The words that I felt instead of only reading them.Anxietymade my skin crawl and my nose tingle.Cruelturned my cheeks hot and my body tight with the need to defend the one who was subjugated to it.Fearmade my teeth clench and my heart shrink in anticipation for what was to come.Saderased my smil
“We’ll represent Gwyneth and keep things as they are.”“Even if you personally take the case, there’s no way Susan will come out of this empty-handed. Gwyneth can’t touch her inheritance or trust fund until she’s twenty-one. That’s a whole year for Susan to demand the house and shares of the firm. She’ll have a leg to stand on, too, since Kingsley made his father’s will null and void. Because he used his father’s money for Weaver & Shaw’s capital, she can sue for her husband’s shares that Kingsley inherited. Not to mention that she’ll be up against a girl who can’t touch her money yet. And before you suggest it, yes, we can stall in court, but considering all of Susan and Kingsley’s legal battles in the past, I say Gwyneth doesn’t stand a chance. She doesn’t have her father’s legal experience, revenge spirit, or ruthlessness. She’ll be eaten alive by Susan.”I want to disagree, but I can’t. Aspen is right. Kingsley’s lawsuits against Susan were fueled by pure spite. He hated her and w
GwynethI’m officially an adult now.Or that’s what I like to think. Dad definitely still considers me a little girl that he needs to protect at all times.I can sense him watching me, even when he’s out of sight. Especially during the moments when I plan to do something he doesn’t approve of.Ever since I showed up at his door when I was less than one day old, Kingsley Shaw has made it his mission to protect me at all costs. It didn’t matter that he was seventeen going on eighteen and in high school at the time and had no damn clue how to raise a kid.Especially a naughty, active one like me.He still singlehandedly raised me while he went to college and then law school and passed the bar. Let’s just say that toddler me didn’t exactly make Dad’s college life easy, but he never once made me feel like he was absent.I’ve always been a well-loved daughter, albeit lonely, with a brain that suddenly becomes blank for no apparent reason. The therapist Dad took me to says it’s depression. I...
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