Why would the king of the jungle look in the direction of a stray cub when he has countless lionesses by his side?
The breaking sound in my chest that I felt when I thought he didn’t show up returns and I dig the edge of my phone into my ribcage as I struggle to maintain a neutral façade. This would be the perfect time for me to stuff myself with some vanilla ice cream or a milkshake while I hide in the closet. “Happy birthday, Gwyneth.” He reaches into his pocket and produces a small blue box and tosses it my way. I let the phone fall to my lap so I can catch it. Receiving a gift from him is almost enough to make me forget about his words. About the apathy everyone in the media talks about. Almost. “Can I open it?” “Sure.” I didn’t even open my other presents, but the ones that I have from Nate are always first on my list. In the past, he’s always gotten me toys and books. This isn’t the packaging of either of those. Inside, I find a gold link bracelet with a scale charm hanging from the chain. I let it dangle between my fingers and smile. “It’s so beautiful.” “My assistant picked it out.” I drag my gaze from the bracelet to him. He’s letting me know that he would never pick something like this for me, but whatever, he’s the one who bought it and that’s all that matters. “It’s still beautiful. Thank you.” “King said you want to study law.” “Yeah. He’s my role model.”And you. I don’t say that, though, because in some way, it feels like he’s put up walls in the span of seconds. The tightening in his jaw and face scare me. But apparently, they don’t scare me enough, because I blurt out, “Can you help me put it on?” “No.” It’s a point-blank refusal that makes me wince. Usually, he doesn’t refuse my requests, not that I make them often. Even though I’ve known Nate all my life, I was always intimidated by him one way or another. Like people are intimidated by my dad, I guess. “Why not?” “You can do it on your own.” His expression closes and I know he’s done with any type of conversation and will leave, shutting all the doors in my face. And if he goes, my plan for today will be an epic failure. If he goes, I will have nothing. He still doesn’t see me as an adult. He still thinks I’m a kid, and if I don’t do something about it, that will never change. If I don’t do something about it, I know, I just know that I will regret it for the rest of my life. So I gather the remnants of my courage and let my phone and the box fall to the swing as I stand up. Thanks to Dad’s genes, I’m not short by any means, but I still barely reach Nate’s shoulders, even with heels on. Oh, and I’m so tiny compared to his broad build and mass of toned muscles. But I don’t let that stop me and I step closer until my heaving breasts nearly graze his chest. Until the fabric of my dress is mere inches away from his tailored jacket. It’s not the first time I’ve been this close to him, but it is the first time under these new circumstances and in the midst of all the zaps and jolts and dreams that he’s always the main character of. Dreams that leave me soaked and aching for a single touch. “What do you think you’re doing?” His voice is as stiff as his body, but he doesn’t step back or push me away. He remains there like a sturdy wall that I always want to climb. “Can’t you help me put the bracelet on?” “I said no.” “What’s wrong with doing it?” I pause at my own words. Doing it. Me and Nate. Nate and me doing it. Shit. I need to rinse my mind with bleach and hope all the dirty thoughts disappear. “Go back to your party, Gwyneth.” I twist my lips in disapproval. He never calls me by the nickname everyone uses for me, and I hate it. Gwyneth sounds impersonal and detached. Putting distance between us is the last thing I want, so I push my body forward, toying with an invisible line where his world is separated from mine. I’m crushing that line, decimating it, burning it to ashes. Because I’m an adult now and I can do that. “I want to be right here, Nate.” His thick brows dip in the middle. “What did you just call me?” “Nate,” I say, lower this time, a little bit uncertain, a little bit scared. Because, holy shit, his deep, rough voice and the tightness in his body can be terrifying. My thoughts are confirmed when he says firmly, with an authoritativeness that strikes me straight in my bones, “It’s Uncle Nate.” “I don’t want to call you that anymore.” “It’s not up to you to decide. It’s Uncle Nate, got it?” I swallow at his non-negotiable tone and the firm edge to it. No wonder he’s a force to be reckoned with in the courtroom. If I were a criminal, I’d be on my knees right now. Hell, I’d be on my knees even without the criminal part. “Answer me, Gwyneth.” “Yeah. Okay. Got it.” He narrows his eyes at that and I know he hates it, my using two or three different terms for the same thing. He told me so once, to measure my words before letting them loose, but I’m not as disciplined or as assertive as he is. Never was and probably never will be. But a part of me longs to be, because if I am, he’ll see me as a woman, not a kid. A woman. But instead of commenting on my words, he says, “Now go back to your birthday party.” “I don’t want to.” “Gwyneth,” he warns. “I want a birthday present.” “I already gave you one.” “The bracelet doesn’t count, because it was picked out by your assistant.” I don’t actually think that at all, but he doesn’t need to know that. He releases a breath. “What do you want?” “Can I have anything?” “Within reason.” “You told me once that reason is subjective. That means what you see as reason is entirely different from what I do.” “Correct.” “Then don’t say I acted unreasonably, okay?” Before he can form thoughts or theories, I grab the lapel of his jacket, flatten my breasts against his chest, and get on my tiptoes. The moment my lips touch his, I think I’ve reached another level of existence—one I had no idea existed. They’re so soft and warm but have an underlying hardness like the rest of him. I move my mouth against his closed one and even dart my tongue out to lick his lower lip. It’s hesitant and awkward at best, but I don’t stop. Ican’t. God. He tastes even better than my forbidden fantasies. He doesn’t open his mouth or kiss me back, and his entire body turns to granite against mine. Since I’ve witnessed him box with Dad countless times, I know he has a body of steel, but actually feeling his abs contracting against me is an experience all on its own. If I could stay here for a lifetime, I’d choose to in a heartbeat. Hell, I’m ready to accept the inevitable bursts of emptiness if it means I get to live this moment over and over again. If I get to exist here for whatever remaining years I have to live. However, my small moment of ecstasy is brought to a halt when I’m pulled back by a fistful of my hair. I tilt my head back to keep it from pulling as I stare at his harsh eyes. There’s a savage darkness in them that matches the tightness of his fingers in my hair. It’s a black, deep current and I’m trapped right in the middle of it. “Don’t ever do that again. Understood?” My lips tremble and I can’t help licking them—and his taste. Nate’s eyes zero in on the gesture and a muscle tightens in his solid jaw. It’s such a small movement, but it feels so huge right now, so important. “Say you understand, Gwyneth,” he says, still staring at my lips before he slides his gaze to my mismatched eyes. “I-I understand.” If I expected those words to placate him, they don’t. His jaw flexes one more time and he shoves me away, releasing his firm, delicious hold on my hair. He shakes his head at me once, then turns around and leaves. His strides are long and sure, but there’s something different this time; like the tension in his shoulders. I watch his back, licking my lips and fi ngering the bracelet, and a tear slides down my cheek as I murmur, “Happy birthday to me.”GwynethTwo years later“Dad!”I run down the stairs and toward the front door, my sneakers slapping on the marble with each step.At the sound of my voice, he stops and turns to me with a questioning gaze and a smile.There’s always a smile on Dad’s face whenever he looks at me. Even when he’s mad at me, he soon forgets it all and smiles.Our housekeeper, Martha, says I’m the only one who makes him smile from his heart. So I’m kind of proud of having the superpower of making the “savage devil,” as the media dubs him, smile only at me.But the media is a bunch of assholes, because they forget that he’s been such a devout single parent ever since he was young.My dad hasn’t aged much. At thirty-seven going on thirty-eight, he still has a strong build that fills out his suit. He’s tall and broad and has an eight-pack. No kidding. He’s the healthiest man I know. But he also has a few age lines that make him the wisest ever—aside from a certain someone.Also, the look in his blue-gray eye
“Did you change your shampoo, Gwen? It’s still vanilla, but is it a different brand?”I roll my eyes as I pull back. He has a super sensitive nose, like he can smell when I’ve had a drink behind his back, even after I brush my teeth and consume copious amounts of mouthwash.“I mixed two brands together. Seriously, Dad, you have a weird sense of smell.”“It’s for when my angel decides to drink when she’s not supposed to.”I make a face and Dad ruffles my hair, sending the auburn strands flying.“Not the hair!” I jerk away and smooth the stubborn thing down.“You still look beautiful.”“You’re only saying that because you’re my father.”“You got my genes, Angel, and that’s not something trivial. Anyone would find you beautiful.”Not Nate.A jolt rushes through me for just thinking his name. It takes all my resolve to say goodbye to Dad without turning a furious shade of red.After he leaves, I sit on the steps, place my milkshake beside me, and grab my bracelet. The one he gave me for m
KingsleyI use the voice command to call Nate.The sound of ringing fills the car, but there’s no answer.“Fuck.” I hit one of my fists against the steering wheel as I take a sharp turn to the right.I zigzag between cars, ignoring their honking and the occasional name-calling.Right now, I’m on a mission.One that will only be fulfilled once I’m at the firm and talking to that low-fucking-life.When I first saw the document this morning, I thought something was wrong. Surely, the name and the fucking proof that lay in front of me were some sort of a mistake.A miscalculation.A Coincidence.A fucking anomaly in the system.But it wasn’t.And neither were the facts that I learned from the private investigator. Neither were the records that I had to stoop low and call in favors to acquire.The truth was sitting squarely in front of me all this time, hiding in plain fucking sight and I was too blind to see it.Was it arrogance?Ignorance?After all, I’ve grown so fast in so little time.
GwynethThe glass of water slips from my hand and hits the sink with a loudcrash, splintering all over the surface.The sound collides with the climax of Car Radioby Twenty One Pilots that’s playing from Alexa.I wince while I carefully grab the tiny pieces and throw them in the trash and simultaneously scroll through my phone.Aside from the memes and mindless conversations in my group chat with my college friends, there’s nothing of importance. Though calling them friends is an exaggeration. Colleagues would be more appropriate.Chris, Jenny, Alex and I all take pre-law at the same college, so we kind of flocked toward each other. It’s hard for me to consider anyone an actual friend, because most of the people I’ve met since I was in elementary school were either interested in my super successful father or our family drama, namely the drama between Dad and my step-grandma. It got worse in pre-law since everyone is gunning to snatch an internship at Weaver & Shaw.The screening proce
Anyway, Chris and I still haven’t gone all the way and I don’t want to. I feel like if I do, I’ll be letting myself down or something. Not that he’s been pressuring me or anything, but he can’t be patient forever, no matter how much he enjoys the make-out and groping sessions.It isn’t right to lead him on, though, which is why I need to make a decision. Either end this or go all the way in.The main reason I said yes to Chris in the first place, aside from his negotiating skills, is because I needed to move on.I needed to find someone else to fill up the emptiness.There’s one tiny problem, though. I hadn’t thought that the previous occupier of that spot, Nate, would refuse to leave his place for someone else.But I’ve been pushing him out gradually. Soon, I’ll get completely rid of him and maybe someone who actually likes me, like Chris, will fill it.So I type with shaky hands.Me:Sure!Chris:Can I come to your house or will your father rearrange my features?I smile, remembering
NathanielA coma.The doctor is telling us that Kingsley is in a vegetative state. He’s saying things about swelling in the brain due to the impact and that he might wake up in the next few days, weeks, or never.This hotshot surgeon spent hours working on my friend with his people, and yet he still couldn’t bring him back.He was in the operating room for hours, just to tell us that King might or might not wake up. I don’t miss the fake sympathy or his attempts not to give hope.But even if I grab and shake him, then punch him in the face, it won’t bring King back, and it sure as fuck won’t serve any purpose. Except for maybe getting rid of some of my pent-up frustration.Gwyneth listens to the doctor’s words with her lips slightly parted. They’re lifeless and pale, like the rest of her face. She clinks the nails of her thumbs and forefingers together in a frantic, almost manic type of way. It’s a nervous habit she’s had since she was a kid—since she learned the truth about her mothe
“It’s not true. Tell me it’s not true, Nate.”I should reprimand her for not calling me Uncle like I usually do, but this is neither the time nor the place.“Denial won’t help you. The sooner you accept reality, the faster you can deal with it.”“No.” She grits her teeth, then lets out another haunted, “No…”“Let go, Gwyneth.” I try to soften my tone, as much as I’m able to, but it still comes out firm. Like an order.She shakes her head again, but it’s meek, weak, just like she is beneath my touch. Until now, I’ve never noticed how small she actually is compared to me.How fragile.Actually, I did once. When she was pressed up against me with her lips on mine.But I shouldn’t be thinking about that. I shouldn’t be thinking about how small my best friend’s daughter is or how she feels in my hold when we’re in front of his hospital room.A muscle clenches in my jaw and I loosen my hold on her shoulders, starting to step away from her.I’m unprepared for what she does, though.Completel
NathanielGwyneth falls asleep.After so much struggle and standing for hours in front of Kingsley’s room, she lost the physical battle and slumped over on one of the chairs in the waiting area.I told her that she could go home, but she vehemently shook her head, pulled her knees to her chest, and closed her eyes.Which is why she’s about to fall forward.I place a finger on her forehead and push her back so she doesn’t hit the ground. It’s light contact, only a damn finger, and yet it feels as if my skin has caught fire and the flames are now extending to the rest of my body.In hindsight, I shouldn’t have let her hug me. Or I should’ve pushed her away sooner. Because now, even a mere touch brings back memories of her body pressed up against my chest.Her slender body that I can’t stop thinking about how small it is compared to mine.I clench my fist and close my eyes to chase away the haze. It doesn’t work. Because even though she’s out of view, her scent clings to me as stubbornly
* * *On Wednesday evening, I left the office before Aiden and drove straight to his place. I was relieved that I’d gotten my daily run in with nausea done around lunchtime. In his apartment, I made sure I’d thrown in the last few things I needed for the trip and then made myself a cup of coffee. I didn’t usually drink it past two or three in the afternoon, but lately, I could sleep at the drop of a hat. I’d been miserably tired in our last brand development meeting, and I was worried that Blake had taken my half-closed eyes as some sort of come on.He wasn’t happy about Aiden coming to the charity ball, either. He tried to play it off, but we could tell that his joke about how surely Aiden had more important things to do wasn’t a joke at all. I’d never tell Aiden, but more and more, Blake was starting to give me the creeps. Even though I’d made it perfectly clear my only interest in him was professional, he still let his gaze linger too long on mine. I’d taken to wearing oversized c
LAYLAI didn’t know what was up with me, but I was determined not to let it ruin my first trip with Aiden. Maybe it was just an extended work trip where we would be up to our old tricks in a new city, but it was still ourfirst vacation. Besides, whatever was going on with me wasn’t like any cold or flu or food poisoning or allergic reaction I’d ever had. It was waves of nausea that struck at strange times, peaked violently after about half an hour, and left me tired but functional for the rest of the day. For the most part, I could hide it from Aiden. He was busy doing a week’s worth of work in two and a half so we could leave for New York after work on Wednesday.Because he was so busy, I was home more, and it was Liv who caught me dry heaving in the bathroom one afternoon.“Whoa,” she said, gingerly placing her hand on my back as if she were considering rubbing it. She changed her mind at a particularly violent retching sound that, as usual, produced nothing. Backing into the doorwa
AIDENI had to tell Jack. I could tell the secrecy was beginning to gnaw at Layla. She was right–there was a point when it had been fun. Clandestine. Now I just wanted to be able to take her out to dinner on our side of town without fear of who we might run into. I wanted to think about our future together without the threat of Jack’s reaction overshadowing it.The problem was, I didn’t know how. The other problem was, the person I normally would have asked for advice was Jack himself. Maureen was my back up, but I couldn’t go to her either. So that was why I found myself telling Carl, my mentee, about it.I don’t know how it came up. It sure as hell wasn’t like he asked,hey man, how’s your love life?Strangely, Carl listened. When I was done, he said, “That’s a real fucking pickle, rich man. What are you going to do about it?” His voice was its usual mixture of disdain and sarcasm, but I sensed that he was genuinely interested.“Hell if I know,” I muttered. I was already regretting t
“I bet she would have planned great vacations for you,” I said quietly. I set down my glass of wine and reached over to squeeze his hand. He didn’t let mine go though, when I went to pull back. Instead, he rose in his seat and tugged me up, too. We kissed across the small bistro table. A warm, heady kiss that was sweeter than the dessert.After we sat back down, I rearranged my napkin in my lap and said in my own carefully casual way, “Maybe one day I can plan a vacation for all three of us.”Aiden shot me a grin. He looked almost normal again, though the fire was still simmering in his eyes. “Maybe,” he agreed. “I guess you two should meet before we fly off to the Bahamas together.”“It’s only fair,” I agreed. “I mean, you do knowmyparents.” I held my breath until Aiden laughed. We were getting better, but the subject of my parentage was still loaded. “I do want you to meet my mom,” he said, sliding his credit card into the bill holder and pushing the last of the dessert closer to me
LAYLAAiden and I were still careful at work, but we let our guard down outside of it. We went to dinner together on the other side of town, and once in a while, he even spent the night at my place now that he knew that Liv and Bran were in on the secret.Liv and Bran had their own secret they thought they were keeping, but Aiden and I were experts at this by now. We knew my brother didn’t really crash on the couch at the end of a long night, and we heard him on those nights he pretended to leave and then doubled back.It was nice to see my brother and my best friend falling for each other, even if it was kind of strange. I hoped that when he eventually found out about me andhisbest friend, my dad would feel similarly.“Don’t count on it,” Aiden said when I mentioned it one night. We’d driven across town to eat at a restaurant we figured was far away enough that no one we knew would be there. We were doing that more and more. It was starting to feel normal to be out with him in public
“Layla went home sick. I’m just checking up on her.”Our footsteps echoed loudly on the uncarpeted steps. By mutual agreement, we’d both turned toward the stairwell rather than waiting for the dodgy looking elevator. Bran was ahead of me, and I thought I saw a ghost of a smirk on his face as he turned to go up the next flight. But all he said was, “Cool,” in a voice so indifferent I wondered if I’d imagined the smirk.Thanks to Bran, I didn’t have to knock. The door was propped open on its deadbolt because they were clearly expecting him. He walked in and gestured for me to follow.I’d never been inside Layla’s apartment. I’d only waited out front while she ran in to grab something. It was… fine. Not the kind of place I thought she should be leaving the door propped open, but it could be worse. It had style, even if I wasn’t impressed by the elevator or the security.“Layla,” Bran called. “Your boss is here.”Two voices came at once. An unfamiliar one that said, “I’m on a call!” and t
AIDENWhen I heard that Layla had gone home sick, I texted her.Are you going to my place? I’ll try to leave, too.She didn’t answer. I figured she’d take a nap, but hour by hour crawled by without a response. At lunch, I stepped outside and called her. It went straight to voicemail. I texted again, but I was starting to get the bad feeling that this silence had nothing to do with a cold or a nap.At four, I told Maureen I was leaving early.“You’d better not be sick, too,” she warned.“I’m not. I’ll be online.” I was too distracted to worry about whether she thought it was suspicious that I was leaving early.“What about the happy hour?”I’d already been walking toward the door, but now I pulled up short. I’d forgotten all about the damn happy hour. It wasn’t for anything in particular, just a monthly get together where I got face time with anyone who wanted it, and we patronized our favorite local bar. It wasn’t the most important thing in the world, but I tried to never miss it.“S
Joe glanced at me, sensing for the first time that this news might not be as benign as he thought. “Um, yesterday?” He scratched his nose and eyed me, checking to see how that information went over. When my face darkened, he added, “Maybe. I don’t remember.”“Well I just talked to Maureen about it yesterday morning, so either it was yesterday or it was really early this morning,” I said evenly.“Yeah, it was probably yesterday.” Joe pulled an apologetic face. As if he were the one with something to apologize for. Then he wrapped up his uneaten egg sandwich and made a quick exit.I stayed in the break room for another few minutes, trying to get a handle on my anger. My tendency was to go with the emotion–let it swell and break and deal with the cause of it. I didn’t like to let things fester. This time, though, I really did try to tame it. I asked myself if I was being unreasonable–maybe this wasn’t actually Aiden treating me like a child. Maybe there was some way in which he could ask
LAYLAI sensed Aiden’s mood even before I saw his face. It was the way he moved when he came out onto the balcony. A stiffness in the set of his shoulders that was echoed in his face when he turned around. He lowered himself into the chair beside mine without kissing me first.I closed my book, keeping my finger between the pages to save my spot. I had a pretty good idea what this was about.Aiden didn’t waste time getting to the point. “You went around me.”“I went up the chain of command,” I countered. “I report to Maureen.”“I don’t give a damn who you report to at work. You went aroundme.” He bit off the words. “Not as your boss, but as your–whatever the fuck we’re doing is called.”“I think that about describes it,” I drawled, hoping to tempt him out of this fight. I dogeared the corner of my page and set it down beside my chair.Aiden wasn’t tempted though. Or amused. If anything, his face grew stormier. “If that’s all it was, I wouldn’t bother.”I stood up and slid into his lap