He’s not even Dad’s friend or the man who’s more powerful than the world. He might be a senator’s son, but he’s so much more than that.
He owns half of the world and eats the rest of it for breakfast. “There you are.” I freeze, my hand tightening on the phone. Did I maybe gain wizard abilities for my birthday and conjure him up? That’s stupid, of course, because I can feel the warmth his body always emanates and smell his cologne. A little bit musky, a little bit spicy. A little bit…wrong. I shouldn’t know him by his smell alone or be able to recognize him among the dozens of people crowding our house. I shouldn’t have heated ears and a throbbing neck just because I heard the deep, rough tenor of his voice that’s only meant to say firm, serious things. A voice that I’ve started to dream about despite my damn self. And now, he’s behind me. And that means he can see my phone. I jolt, hugging it to my chest, and in hindsight, that’s such a bad idea, because now I’m thinking about him between my breasts, and my heart kind of explodes all over the place. My reaction goes downhill from there and there’s no way to stop it. My lips part, and my expression must be frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. But instead of commenting on his picture on my phone, he steps in front of my swing, towering over me like a fucking god. One with Adonis looks and as cold as the statue. That’s what one of the magazines compared him to. They called Senator Brian Weaver’s son—that’s Nate, by the way—one of the most sought-after bachelors and the most apathetic of them all. But I’ve never received the frigid treatment everyone talks about. For me, he has always been warm. Well,somewhatwarm. Because Uncle Nate is too businesslike to ever be warm in the traditional sense. Nate.I chastise myself.It’s Nate. “Don’t worry. I won’t peek at your conversations with your boyfriend.” My heart does that flippy thing that makes me feel as if I’m going to vomit or faint or maybe both. While it does have something to do with his presence when I thought he wouldn’t come, it’s more about what he said. Boyfriend. As in, he’s my boyfriend since I was staring at him. Well, that’s not exactly what he meant, but in my twisted brain, it sure as hell counts. I tilt my head back to see the entirety of him. Though I doubt there’s any picture frame that can contain him. His face is all sharp lines and defined cheekbones, which become shadowed depending on where the light is coming from. He has the type of features that communicate with the slightest twitch and the merest of movements. Nate has always had immaculate control over his body language and facial expressions, and it shows in each of his movements. The older I’ve gotten, the more aware I’ve become of his imposing, silent character that speaks through actions more than words. I’ve also begun to see why he’s the perfect partner for Dad. They’re alike in a way, but Nate is still harder to read. Due to his rigid demeanor, I have to be extra careful in deciphering any change in his facial expressions. It’s blank now, which could mean a lot of things. Is he angry, disapproving? Or maybe he’s just indifferent as he is most of the time. I can’t stop looking at him, studying him, getting my fill of his face as if I won’t see him for a while. I’m engraving everything into my memory, like how he fills his suit or how he appears majestic in it. I can’t stop staring at his thick brows and lashes, at the slight stubble covering his jaw, and at how a few strays of dark blond hair kiss his forehead with each gust of wind. And for a tiny moment, I wish I was a stray hair or the air. Either would do. But what I really can’t stop staring at are his dark eyes that appear almost black right now. Those eyes have a language of their own that no one is allowed to learn, no matter how much they attempt to. A language that I’ve been desperately trying to speak for a while now. I grip the phone harder, needing the courage it provides as I speak, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” “One less thing for King to worry about.” I bite my lower lip, unable to hide the disappointment at how he blatantly ignores my statement and pushes it all to Dad. It’d be better if I stopped. Usually, I would. Nate isn’t the type of man anyone likes to push—and I’m no exception. But if I did, how would I accomplish what I’ve strived for? I waited for my eighteenth birthday to shout that I’m a woman now. That I want him to see me as one. That’s probably why I ask, “Do you think I should have a boyfriend?” “That’s none of my business, kiddo.” “I-I’m not a kiddo.” His lips twitch. “You just pouted like one.” Damn it. I knew he still thought of me as if I were a little girl. Can’t he see I’m all grown up now? That I’m looking at him? That I can’tstoplooking at him? “I’m making it your business,” I insist. “So what do you think?” “About?” “Should I get a boyfriend?” “No.” My heart nearly rips my ribcage open and hops out to dance at his feet. He said I shouldn’t get a boyfriend. That can’t be meaningless, right? “Why not?” I try to sound cool, but I can’t control the tremor at the end. “King wouldn’t like it.” Oh. So it’s back to my dad again. Seems I’m out for blood, though, because I still refuse to drop it. “How about you?” “How about me?” “Would you like it if I had a boyfriend?” He pauses, the n says, “I would be neutral.” Right. Of course, he would.Why would the king of the jungle look in the direction of a stray cub when he has countless lionesses by his side?The breaking sound in my chest that I felt when I thought he didn’t show up returns and I dig the edge of my phone into my ribcage as I struggle to maintain a neutral façade.This would be the perfect time for me to stuff myself with some vanilla ice cream or a milkshake while I hide in the closet.“Happy birthday, Gwyneth.” He reaches into his pocket and produces a small blue box and tosses it my way.I let the phone fall to my lap so I can catch it. Receiving a gift from him is almost enough to make me forget about his words. About the apathy everyone in the media talks about.Almost.“Can I open it?”“Sure.”I didn’t even open my other presents, but the ones that I have from Nate are always first on my list. In the past, he’s always gotten me toys and books. This isn’t the packaging of either of those.Inside, I find a gold link bracelet with a scale charm hanging from
GwynethTwo years later“Dad!”I run down the stairs and toward the front door, my sneakers slapping on the marble with each step.At the sound of my voice, he stops and turns to me with a questioning gaze and a smile.There’s always a smile on Dad’s face whenever he looks at me. Even when he’s mad at me, he soon forgets it all and smiles.Our housekeeper, Martha, says I’m the only one who makes him smile from his heart. So I’m kind of proud of having the superpower of making the “savage devil,” as the media dubs him, smile only at me.But the media is a bunch of assholes, because they forget that he’s been such a devout single parent ever since he was young.My dad hasn’t aged much. At thirty-seven going on thirty-eight, he still has a strong build that fills out his suit. He’s tall and broad and has an eight-pack. No kidding. He’s the healthiest man I know. But he also has a few age lines that make him the wisest ever—aside from a certain someone.Also, the look in his blue-gray eye
“Did you change your shampoo, Gwen? It’s still vanilla, but is it a different brand?”I roll my eyes as I pull back. He has a super sensitive nose, like he can smell when I’ve had a drink behind his back, even after I brush my teeth and consume copious amounts of mouthwash.“I mixed two brands together. Seriously, Dad, you have a weird sense of smell.”“It’s for when my angel decides to drink when she’s not supposed to.”I make a face and Dad ruffles my hair, sending the auburn strands flying.“Not the hair!” I jerk away and smooth the stubborn thing down.“You still look beautiful.”“You’re only saying that because you’re my father.”“You got my genes, Angel, and that’s not something trivial. Anyone would find you beautiful.”Not Nate.A jolt rushes through me for just thinking his name. It takes all my resolve to say goodbye to Dad without turning a furious shade of red.After he leaves, I sit on the steps, place my milkshake beside me, and grab my bracelet. The one he gave me for m
KingsleyI use the voice command to call Nate.The sound of ringing fills the car, but there’s no answer.“Fuck.” I hit one of my fists against the steering wheel as I take a sharp turn to the right.I zigzag between cars, ignoring their honking and the occasional name-calling.Right now, I’m on a mission.One that will only be fulfilled once I’m at the firm and talking to that low-fucking-life.When I first saw the document this morning, I thought something was wrong. Surely, the name and the fucking proof that lay in front of me were some sort of a mistake.A miscalculation.A Coincidence.A fucking anomaly in the system.But it wasn’t.And neither were the facts that I learned from the private investigator. Neither were the records that I had to stoop low and call in favors to acquire.The truth was sitting squarely in front of me all this time, hiding in plain fucking sight and I was too blind to see it.Was it arrogance?Ignorance?After all, I’ve grown so fast in so little time.
GwynethThe glass of water slips from my hand and hits the sink with a loudcrash, splintering all over the surface.The sound collides with the climax of Car Radioby Twenty One Pilots that’s playing from Alexa.I wince while I carefully grab the tiny pieces and throw them in the trash and simultaneously scroll through my phone.Aside from the memes and mindless conversations in my group chat with my college friends, there’s nothing of importance. Though calling them friends is an exaggeration. Colleagues would be more appropriate.Chris, Jenny, Alex and I all take pre-law at the same college, so we kind of flocked toward each other. It’s hard for me to consider anyone an actual friend, because most of the people I’ve met since I was in elementary school were either interested in my super successful father or our family drama, namely the drama between Dad and my step-grandma. It got worse in pre-law since everyone is gunning to snatch an internship at Weaver & Shaw.The screening proce
Anyway, Chris and I still haven’t gone all the way and I don’t want to. I feel like if I do, I’ll be letting myself down or something. Not that he’s been pressuring me or anything, but he can’t be patient forever, no matter how much he enjoys the make-out and groping sessions.It isn’t right to lead him on, though, which is why I need to make a decision. Either end this or go all the way in.The main reason I said yes to Chris in the first place, aside from his negotiating skills, is because I needed to move on.I needed to find someone else to fill up the emptiness.There’s one tiny problem, though. I hadn’t thought that the previous occupier of that spot, Nate, would refuse to leave his place for someone else.But I’ve been pushing him out gradually. Soon, I’ll get completely rid of him and maybe someone who actually likes me, like Chris, will fill it.So I type with shaky hands.Me:Sure!Chris:Can I come to your house or will your father rearrange my features?I smile, remembering
NathanielA coma.The doctor is telling us that Kingsley is in a vegetative state. He’s saying things about swelling in the brain due to the impact and that he might wake up in the next few days, weeks, or never.This hotshot surgeon spent hours working on my friend with his people, and yet he still couldn’t bring him back.He was in the operating room for hours, just to tell us that King might or might not wake up. I don’t miss the fake sympathy or his attempts not to give hope.But even if I grab and shake him, then punch him in the face, it won’t bring King back, and it sure as fuck won’t serve any purpose. Except for maybe getting rid of some of my pent-up frustration.Gwyneth listens to the doctor’s words with her lips slightly parted. They’re lifeless and pale, like the rest of her face. She clinks the nails of her thumbs and forefingers together in a frantic, almost manic type of way. It’s a nervous habit she’s had since she was a kid—since she learned the truth about her mothe
“It’s not true. Tell me it’s not true, Nate.”I should reprimand her for not calling me Uncle like I usually do, but this is neither the time nor the place.“Denial won’t help you. The sooner you accept reality, the faster you can deal with it.”“No.” She grits her teeth, then lets out another haunted, “No…”“Let go, Gwyneth.” I try to soften my tone, as much as I’m able to, but it still comes out firm. Like an order.She shakes her head again, but it’s meek, weak, just like she is beneath my touch. Until now, I’ve never noticed how small she actually is compared to me.How fragile.Actually, I did once. When she was pressed up against me with her lips on mine.But I shouldn’t be thinking about that. I shouldn’t be thinking about how small my best friend’s daughter is or how she feels in my hold when we’re in front of his hospital room.A muscle clenches in my jaw and I loosen my hold on her shoulders, starting to step away from her.I’m unprepared for what she does, though.Completel
“Oh my God, Chris! Why didn’t you tell me?”“I just did.” He grins in that charming, lighthearted way and I’m so happy for that. I’m happy that I didn’t hurt him to the point of taking away his beautiful smile.“I’m so glad we get to spend time together.”“I thought you’d be all over getting rid of me.”.“Of course not! We can be friends, right?”He clinks his iced coffee against my drink. “Sure thing.”We fall into an easy conversation, which isn’t anything new. Chris and I have always gotten along, which is why he asked me out, saying he wanted to take it to the next level. That obviously didn’t work, so I’m thankful that we can still have a friendly relationship.We talk about college and exams and where our colleagues are doing their internships. He tells me about the interviewing process at W&S and how hard it was, but he passed because he impressed them and he’s a genius.It’s great to know that I won’t be a lonely face in the midst of all the hostile interns. With Chris around,
Gwyneth“Are you listening, Gwen?”I slide my attention from my assaulted vanilla milkshake that I’ve been jamming the straw in and out of to Chris, who’s staring at me with a furrowed brow.He came to pick me up earlier and we’ve been sitting in a coffee shop and talking. Well, he’s ended up doing all the talking while I’ve been thinking about other things.Like what was Nate doing with Aspen the entire afternoon?For hours.Alone.She didn’t even leave in her car.Logically, I shouldn’t be this affected, because I have no hold on him, right? Except maybe I do. After all, there’s a marriage certificate that says he’s married to me, and it should go without saying that he doesn’t leave with a woman who isn’t me.It’s only on paper. The marriage isn’t real.“Are you still upset about your dad?” Chris tries again.He’s such a gentleman. Like the best ever, and he’s hot, too, with his leather jacket, medium-length hair, and his pouty lips that are good at kissing.But I don’t think kissi
“I don’t need you to stand up for me.”“Sorry, but I can’t stay quiet when things like that happen.”“If you keep it up, you’ll end up getting hurt one day.”“One day isn’t today.” I stand and twist my neck, then move my legs to get the blood circulating to my toes. “Let’s go get lunch.”She opens a drawer and retrieves one of those sandwiches you get from the convenience store. “I have my lunch right here.”“That’s not called lunch. Let’s get a real one.” I reach for it and she catches my hand so fast, I flinch.“Don’t touch my computer.”“I was going for the sandwich.”Her hold slowly eases from around my wrist. I massage the skin as it quickly turns red.“Wow, you guys are super possessive of your computers, huh?”She pushes her glasses back with the heel of her palm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”“It’s fine.” I grin, even though it does really hurt. It’s as if she’s a trained ninja. “Lunch?”She pushes the button on her screen, making it go black, and begrudgingly stands
GwynethBehave or you’ll pay.Behave. Or. You. Will. Pay.He can’t say things like that and then walk away—or more like kick me out—because I have questions. Lots of them. How am I going to pay? Why? Where? When?So many questions.Like everything when it comes to Nate, I guess. And I don’t know why I want to pay, or maybe I do know. Because I’m a masochist, in a way, and masochists like pain, especially when it’s a result of something we’ve done.I think that’s why I kissed him back then, because my masochistic tendencies took hold of me and I couldn’t escape them. And God forbid I tell Dad about them, because what would I say? Dad, I think I have masochistic tendencies toward your friend and I’m unable to stop them. Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye again.Anyway, because of what Nate said, I’m unable to focus on the file. I read a few lines and then I go back to thinking about all the words he said to me.Baby girl.Behave.Pay.Oh, and truly fucked. That one is the m
Whoever said that is a fucking moron.Besides, either she’s with me or with someone else. And there’s no way in fuck I was going to let her be with Knox, Daniel, or even Sebastian.I’ve been hit by the same haze that took over me when Aspen told me that my “wife” brought cupcakes and was talking with the three fuckers. Logical thoughts were the last thing on my mind when I barged in there. I knew she didn’t like it when I refused the internship, but I didn’t think she’d show up and negotiate her way into one.Behind my back.I’m well aware of her half-jogging behind me as I march to my office, but I don’t look at her. I’m charged up enough as it is without being distracted by the sight of her.If I had enough decency, I would slow down and let her catch up, but that term doesn’t fucking exist in my dictionary.As soon as we’re inside, I shut the door, lean against it, and face her.Gwyneth stands in the middle of the office, catching her breath. But then she glares at me with her arms
NathanielMy workplace is sacred.After all, it’s where my ambition thrives. Where my plans are made and my strategies are conducted.This is where I come to focus and forget about the girl I leave behind and go back late so that I don’t see her. Only, she’s not a girl, is she?I want to call her that to stop my dick from having ideas, but she was never that—a girl. At least, not for some time.She’s a woman now. A grown-up fucking woman with legs that go for miles and a tiny waist that can almost fit in only one of my palms.And she’s currently in the place where I’m supposed to be focused, not sidetracked.Gwyneth is right here, at W&S, and while it’s not her first time, she doesn’t usually dress like she’s at a business meeting.And definitely not with these three fuckers—my nephew included. Kingsley made it his mission to keep her away from them and their whoring ways. So I’m just taking care of it on his behalf. Like I promised him.It’s definitely not because of how I want to ja
I keep a low profile as I head to where the three of them are sitting. They usually have these coffee breaks around this time, and Nate has his administrative meetings in the morning, which is why I came in now.Everything is calculated to give my plan further chance to succeed. I’m taking things into my own hands and it’s all going to be fine.“Hi!” I say too cheerfully, making three pairs of eyes slide to me. Sebastian smiles and so does Daniel. He has a charming presence that’s similar to Sebastian’s when he was in college—Nate’s nephew is a bit more serious now.Daniel is pretty in a model type of way with his piercing turquoise eyes, light hair, and fit physique. It’s one of the reasons why magazines love putting him on their covers. That and his shrewd ways in the law circuit. “Gwen! Did you bring us some of your cupcakes?”“Yeah.” I grin, waving my bribes box. “I stayed up all night making them.”“You’re a doll.” Daniel takes the box, opens it, but pauses before eating. “Sorry
GwynethTwo weeks later, I’m forced back to reality.I’m forced to let go of the hope I held on to so tightly when Dad had his accident. Because the truth is, he’s not waking up and probably won’t. The doctor said that the more time he spends in a coma, the slimmer his chances are of coming out of it.And even though I’ve been visiting him every day, I can feel the gloomy cloud that hovers over his hospital bed. I can tell that my dad is probably not there anymore, no matter how much I talk to him and read to him and everything in between.And that’s just been too painful to think about, so I distracted myself with school before the summer break. And cleaning. I do that a lot when I’m anxious or stressed. I scrub floors and counters and dishes and the bathroom.In my head, I’m scrubbing my mind clean. Does it work? For a while, maybe, but not in the long term. Because the problems far outweigh the solutions. I thought myself strong enough to take it all—let it soak in and then vanish—
NathanielWhen my father said that I have a train brain, it had absolutely nothing to do with how much I actually love trains.My train brain doesn’t reverse. Ever. Once it’s moving forward, it just keeps going. There are no regrets. No going back and definitely no retracting what I fucking said or did.So now, I have a train life, one that’s only focused on getting shit done and moving on to the next thing, then the one after that, and so on. That’s how my train brain works.Forward.Outward.Nothing is kept inward. Otherwise, it’ll rot and cause my downfall.Now is no different. The present and the past are only a step for the future. A stop, a station. They’re not what I should be focused on and I certainly shouldn’t be thinking about her fucking words. The words that she shouldn’t have said in that sultry voice that I want to hear say fucked-up things.I don’t want safe and boring.That’s what started it all. That’s what brought us to this moment where she’s staring at me as if I’