IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE.

IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE.

last updateLast Updated : 2025-02-13
By:   Jolante424  Ongoing
Language: English
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We've sat in silence for too long, it's heavy, it's burdensome and I don't like it. " Why are you quiet?" I break the silence. He turns in his place, until he's facing me. Oh gosh, I have his attention. Now what? He's staring now and that makes me nervous. " Why are you looking at me like that?" " Like what?" " You look like you have something to say." I guess. " I do." " Then tell me." I perk up. Good, he's got something to say. No more silence. He shakes his head, " no, forget it." " I want to know." I press. " Are you sure about that?" I nod. I don't trust my words. His eyes look all over my face before he shifts closer. He's too close, my heart can't take it. My breath hitches when he leans his face close to mine. " I want to kiss my wife."

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The Rumour.

To witness love and to experience love, is quite different. I played the role of a witness while my mother experienced love, one received from my father. He was simply a man in love, not with the idea of love, but with the woman who introduced him to their kind of love. I recall the days of admiring how beautiful and easy, they made everything seem. It just felt right with them and I, a few times so, desired to be the one to experience such love. In unfortunate turn of events, tragedy decided to knock at our door. It claimed the life of my father, separating and leaving us out in the cold. My mother seemed lost without her other half, which hurt to witness. The desire to better relate to her pain had overwhelmed me. All I wanted was to offer more support and be a reliable source of comfort for her. The unhealthy mindset I had then, in the early days of fresh and raw pain while mourning, was strong, I admit to this. What amazed me through it all, was the way my mother notice...

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26 Chapters
The Rumour.
To witness love and to experience love, is quite different. I played the role of a witness while my mother experienced love, one received from my father. He was simply a man in love, not with the idea of love, but with the woman who introduced him to their kind of love. I recall the days of admiring how beautiful and easy, they made everything seem. It just felt right with them and I, a few times so, desired to be the one to experience such love. In unfortunate turn of events, tragedy decided to knock at our door. It claimed the life of my father, separating and leaving us out in the cold. My mother seemed lost without her other half, which hurt to witness. The desire to better relate to her pain had overwhelmed me. All I wanted was to offer more support and be a reliable source of comfort for her. The unhealthy mindset I had then, in the early days of fresh and raw pain while mourning, was strong, I admit to this. What amazed me through it all, was the way my mother notice
last updateLast Updated : 2024-01-28
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The Call.
Moments come and moments go, which leave a person in their most vulnerable period. That was me, 6 months ago. It hadn't been long since my father passed away, when my mother suddenly fell ill. It hit even harder when she had to be admitted to the hospital and we further learnt how serious the situation was. I felt alone, I was alone and it felt like I was thrown into a big storm. The situation seemed out of my control and I was left both vulnerable and confused. I felt small, facing a huge mountain infront of me. At the very same time, I had to dig deep within and search for some kind of remaining strength I had left. One thing I knew not to do, was to give up. I could not afford to, the situation simply didn't allow for me to. Battles came on each side and as I tried to conquer each one, fate decided then, to bring about a witness in the name of William Myers. Until today, I keep on asking, why him? It shouldn't have been him, the one cut out from my life. From past expe
last updateLast Updated : 2024-01-28
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No.
Days have passed and yet the actual day, has not been confirmed. At some point I had hoped that he would change his mind and stay away, but it seems unlikely he would. Now that I've learnt about William returning soon, it's like I can't escape talk about him. My ears would catch onto conversation about him, especially with many interested in what he may look like or how different he must seem now. If only they knew. Different made up scenarios of possible encounters between us, has placed me on edge. Seeing him again, feels like all my secrets would be staring me in the face soon. It's clear that I haven't been myself and now Lia has taken notice. She's questioned me on how I am doing so many times today, it's kind of annoying. I know it's not her fault, I'm just being cranky. I honestly wish I had found out everything much later. It's sad to think that I might be the reason my mother ends up in hospital again. There's no doubt that my deeds would be heavy for her to bea
last updateLast Updated : 2024-01-28
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An intruder or outsider.
~~ Flashback~~ ~A few hours ago.~ I heard the door open and close but didn't move from where I sat. It had been some time after his mother left and still, I couldn't wrap my head around the visit. My mind replayed the conversation like a tape recorder, trying to find some hidden message behind it. ' Mrs Myers really came here for him.' I heard Lia say as she stood close. ' It's not like she was thinking about me all this time.' I said, sparing her a glance. ' Here.' The smell of hot chocolate hit my nose as I received the cup. 'Thank you.' I said. She joined me on the bench and we sat in silence for a while. ' In some way, I think she's right.' I turned to her with a frown, ' No.' I disagreed. 'Not about everything, but that you were his childhood friend.' ' We weren't that close.' ' It didn't look like that back then.' She disagreed in sing song tone. I rolled my eyes at her. ' You and mom are just the same.' Mom made sure to have her own word in, a
last updateLast Updated : 2024-01-28
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A secret should remain a secret.
I am leaving and not coming back. This was a big mistake, I shouldn't have come here. " Milla!!" The call is loud and clear, capturing the attention of those near and certainly pulling me to a stop. It would have been far better to not know who called me, this way I would have continued to run away. Damn my ears for recognising that voice too well. It hasn't even been a full on 24 hours since his return, and already he has crossed the line. ' This is what happens when there is a lack of communication.' My conscious hits me with its own opinion at the wrong time. " Milla?" I hear my name being called again, but it comes from a female voice now. This relieves me a bit. I turn around to see who has called me this time. I get nervous when I see both Mr and Mrs Myers come my way. I briefly glance upstairs and that's when I see him. He's making his way down the stairs. My feet may be rooted in place but that doesn't mean I'm not freaking out inside. " You actually
last updateLast Updated : 2024-02-08
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I don't regret it.
He has no right to call himself that in my face. " Are you sure about that?" He asks, stepping closer to me. He doesn't give me a chance to respond when he speaks up again. " Am I simply a stranger to you, Milla?" " My past, that's all and nothing more." " I'm in your present now Milla, I think it's time you start acknowledging that." " You forced your way into this. So no, I don't have to do anything." " Milla-------" " You betrayed me!" " Milla-------" " No, not only did you betray me but you broke your promise. That's what I remember when I hear the name William Myers." My words seem to silence him. With nothing left to be said, I pick up my glass, purse and I walk away. I let out a gasp when I'm suddenly tugged back by arm. " Milla, listen to me." " Liam, stop -----" " Atleast you still call me the same." He comments, silencing me. I feel tongue tied now because I didn't expect him to point that out. There's silence, there's eye contact, alot of
last updateLast Updated : 2024-02-13
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No more.
For most of the night, I do my best to remain out of sight, from someone in particular. I settle into the background, being an observer to my surroundings as I wait for the appropriate time, to leave the party. I watch on as William's parents make a short speech, expressing their joy for having their son back home after so many years. Guilt hits me hard at moment. I feel like I am part of the reason he extended his stay. I am the voice of influence for lengthening the distance between family. This does not sit well with me. The guilt made it hard to continue looking at them, as they stood together infront of everyone. It's grip on me bothered me too much. It might have been a hint then from Mrs Myers, but it seems right at this moment. I might have been the problem all along. Looking back to the front, I notice William's eyes moving as if in search of someone. When his gaze meets mine, it lingers a little too long that I break eye contact first. For the rest of the night, h
last updateLast Updated : 2024-02-19
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He's too close.
What? Did I hear correctly? " You did." He answers. 'I spoke out loud, didn't I?' "Yes you did." 'I should stop, seriously.' "Don't, it let's me know what you're thinking." " You don't want to know what I think about you right now." I say, narrowing my eyes at him. " You were thinking about me just like I was thinking about you?" I want to wipe the smirk off his face, seriously. Wait, did he just say------ " You were thinking about me? Why?" 'Why are you asking?' My conscious shoots at me. 'I don't know!' I respond to it. " The last time we saw each other- you're right in front of me, Milla! What do you think?" His voice rises a bit. I feel accused of something I'm not aware of? " Distance, that's what we agreed on." I remind him but he rolls his eyes. " You're the one who came up with this crazy idea, not me." He scoffs. " It wasn't crazy but needed, for my own sanity. Oh and to prevent me from killing you!" I really need to leave this place before I lose it and
last updateLast Updated : 2024-03-06
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I have bad timing.
" Leaving without saying goodbye?" Shoot, I thought I would make it out of here unnoticed. I search with my eyes until I find him. He stands tall and handsome, leaned against a beautiful car. Neil Myers. " I think it's time for me to leave now." " Will this be a habit, even in the future? Should I take note of this?" " What do you mean?" I ask in confusion. I watch him push himself off the car and walk towards me. " Will it take a couple more years to see you again, after tonight?" I open and close my mouth but no words. They have failed me. He does have a point though, because in all honesty, I had declared that tonight would be the last night I ever step foot in this place. My intention was to simply please my mother and possibly cover my tracks, so I would not raise suspicion. " I don't know." I answer honestly. He nods as he looks off to the side. " I was invited tonight." Like that is a good enough excuse. " I also didn't think I would ever return here again, I
last updateLast Updated : 2024-03-08
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Thank you.
" Mom?!" I literally shove the hospital curtain aside, feeling impatient to see her. I sigh out in relief when I finally see her. The sight of her in a better condition than the last time she was here, eases me more. I look her over and am able to conclude that she only had hurt her foot. I can't fathom what I would have done, had she experienced severe damage due to the fall. No heavy injuries means that she can go home soon. The only report I received from Lia was that she carried too many things down the stairs, thus she missed a step, causing the fall. A part of me blames it on her stubbornness. She has refused many times for me to help her with the heavy load, it seriously isn't easy to get my way. Had I been there, she wouldn't have had to do all that work alone. Why did I have to attend that dinner? Well, I simply couldn't refuse my mother's request. " Milla, how are you here?" She asks in surprise, while receiving my embrace. " I'm the one who called her, " Lia explai
last updateLast Updated : 2024-03-08
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