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Confident Swan
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2020-09-30 23:58:32“This is a big house!” the look on my father’s house is the same I had on mine when I came here a few days ago, the house was indeed a magnificent piece of work, sadly though, I am not able to enjoy its beauty as I am directly reminded of all the things that happened here.
The conversation with Nate, the time in his room, the things he told me, the way he affected me, the way my body responded to his, the dinner, the kiss, the feeling of my wet entrance pressed on his bulging member, the heat and lust in his eyes and in mine, the taste of him inside my mouth, it all comes back to me now as one big lump stuffed forcibly inside my throat, a bitter one that is.
“She doesn’t look happy to see us!” my father whisper
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“Is that her?!” my father whispers to me as we entered the reception room where I have shared coffee with Nate before, Beth didn’t offer us anything this time, not even a seat, and the gorgeous blondie had excused herself to go get Nate.The thought of that woman bothers me to the point where I, for a second, have forgotten why I came here in the first place, why is she that This is going to be difficult! I tell myself as I take a deep sigh, I am already fidgeting and hesitating, even though I have just received another confirmation about his relationship with that woman. maybe this is why you are hesitating, because the last hope just died in front of your eyes.
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“Is that so? Can you tell her then why did you leak pictures of you two kissing in your house?!” hearing this, I feel the blood freeze in my veins, I turn to my father abruptly, with eyes begging him to say that I heard wrong.But instead, I see him raise his head challengingly, and the little blood which was left in my face is now completely drained!Oh No!!Fucking No!!I look at Nate with terrified eyes, wanting him to tell me that it is not what I think it is, but again, he has that same expression that makes me nauseous.
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"Something is troubling you, sweety?" I look at my father's face and see concern written all over it, I didn't say much since we left Nate's villa, the wound in my heart is still fresh and bleeding, but even with that I am unable to shake this uneasy feeling that something is wrong, what if something happened to his father because of what he heard? I would never forgive myself if that was the case, The thought only made my mood go soorer, and my father was quick to notice it."Are you still thinking about what happened in that man's villa?""What is something happened to his father?" I ask, my voice laced with worried."And what is this whole thing is but another way to trick you, make you feel guilty about something that isn't even your fault!" My father spat making me look at him, so many words on the top of my tongue but i chose not to say any.How can i tell him about this feeling in my heart without sounding like a naive girl who is easily manipulated?
Last Updated : 2021-04-30Hush, Baby My Trauma
Come here, baby...you know what you have to do...Mama please, believe me!You are a bad girl, Natalia... Stop telling lies!Be a good obedient girl and this Won't hurt!But it hurts! It hurts so much and I hate it!Mama, he is hurting me when you are not around, he is making me do things like...Shush! Don't ever say this again!If you ever speak about this to your mom or anyone, I will have to punish you, now you don't want to be punished like last time, do you?Mama, he used his cigarettes to..What a filthy, lying, little shit you are! I told not to speak of this again!Hush now, baby...Mama, please make him stop!You bitch! I don't want to see you again in my house! Get out! Get out!You think this is over, baby girl?Mama! Please stop, you are hurting me!I don't want to see her! I swear i will kill her! The little skank! She is the reason!It will never
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TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT, INCEST, MENTAL TRAUMA.“So, it was you all along?” I glance through half closed eyes at the girl sitting beside me while I lay on the floor of the dark room, tracing the mental scars I acquired through this farce of a life I lived, I smile bitterly as she keeps looking at me with the same hazel eyes, only that hers have a dark glint in them.Understandable, I think as I glance around me at the place I have locked her in all these years, drowned her with all the feelings I have been bottling, all the hate, the anger, the despair, and the unsated need for retaliation.Yeah, all I wanted back then was to forget all about her, all her pain, all her suffering, all her misery, and start anew somewhere else, somewhere far, somewhere big and crowded where I can blend with everyone else, no wonder she hated me, no wonder she tormented me once she was free, I dumped it all on her and went on with my life, sure, I never fully lived, but she didn’t even barely hea
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Up, and down, then up, and down again, then swallow, and then put another spoon filled with what tastes like ash into your mouth and repeat the process. I force myself to eat, not because I care about the way my insides feel whenever I don’t eat for a long period of time, in fact, I would welcome this feeling and allow it to consume me from the inside until I perish, but because I know he would take it as an act of disobedience and come up with a new way to punish me, the last time I refused to eat he destroyed my asshole, and that wasn’t the worse part, no, it was the fact that he invited two of his equally despicable friends to watch as he did so.I thought that after this time, after all those punishment where he violated every hole in my body, I became immune to it, but he always came with new ways to hurt me, when I became numb to physical pain, he opted to humiliation instead, exposing me to other monsters, a shiver runs down my spine as I remember how he prevented me from usin
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Why did this happen to us? right when I thought everything was finally going to be okay?Who is the one to blame?Is it us? Is it life?Can we blame it on life? Or was this entirely our own doing?But why us? And why you?The unanswered questions don’t linger for long, they fade away slowly into oblivion as if they never existed, and that scares me because they leave void and emptiness behind.The questions were painful, true, but I want them back, this void is much worse, it doesn’t cause me any pain, just numbness, random nihilism, nothing!I lift my heavy head and search the room I am in with my eyes, everything around me is either black or grey, I feel like I know this place but don’t know it in the same time, it is familiar in a way but completely new in another, I try to pinpoint the change that made me feel this way about this place, but I can’t, it feels as if I am looking at it with new eyes. I hear something in the back, it is noisy and disturbing but I can’t figure it out,
Last Updated : 2020-07-22
Latest chapter
Hush, Baby Drained Out Of Resistance
Up, and down, then up, and down again, then swallow, and then put another spoon filled with what tastes like ash into your mouth and repeat the process. I force myself to eat, not because I care about the way my insides feel whenever I don’t eat for a long period of time, in fact, I would welcome this feeling and allow it to consume me from the inside until I perish, but because I know he would take it as an act of disobedience and come up with a new way to punish me, the last time I refused to eat he destroyed my asshole, and that wasn’t the worse part, no, it was the fact that he invited two of his equally despicable friends to watch as he did so.I thought that after this time, after all those punishment where he violated every hole in my body, I became immune to it, but he always came with new ways to hurt me, when I became numb to physical pain, he opted to humiliation instead, exposing me to other monsters, a shiver runs down my spine as I remember how he prevented me from usin
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“What do you mean that this has nothing to do with me?” I stand in the corner as I watch myself put on a token of a fight, I saw the anger and the hurt in my eyes, it was evident, but my words and my voice weren’t as angry, as if I was holding back.“It doesn’t, Nat, you know I cannot publicly be with you, we have already talked about this!” he answers me with a tired expression, and I see he is trying to choose his words as well, something about this conversation doesn’t feel quite right, as if we both have something to lose.“That doesn’t mean you are free to date her, so openly and publicly, I never protested on our relationship being a secret but only because it was also exclusive, but this?” oh…so this is the infamous fight, I think as I smile bitterly, another piece falling into the puzzle.“Being public with her is the main point of being with her, I need the PR, and I need her father’s connections, this is not about feelings.” Nate tried to reason with me, but what he doesn’t
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Come here, baby...you know what you have to do...Mama please, believe me!You are a bad girl, Natalia... Stop telling lies!Be a good obedient girl and this Won't hurt!But it hurts! It hurts so much and I hate it!Mama, he is hurting me when you are not around, he is making me do things like...Shush! Don't ever say this again!If you ever speak about this to your mom or anyone, I will have to punish you, now you don't want to be punished like last time, do you?Mama, he used his cigarettes to..What a filthy, lying, little shit you are! I told not to speak of this again!Hush now, baby...Mama, please make him stop!You bitch! I don't want to see you again in my house! Get out! Get out!You think this is over, baby girl?Mama! Please stop, you are hurting me!I don't want to see her! I swear i will kill her! The little skank! She is the reason!It will never
Hush, Baby Worse Liar
"Something is troubling you, sweety?" I look at my father's face and see concern written all over it, I didn't say much since we left Nate's villa, the wound in my heart is still fresh and bleeding, but even with that I am unable to shake this uneasy feeling that something is wrong, what if something happened to his father because of what he heard? I would never forgive myself if that was the case, The thought only made my mood go soorer, and my father was quick to notice it."Are you still thinking about what happened in that man's villa?""What is something happened to his father?" I ask, my voice laced with worried."And what is this whole thing is but another way to trick you, make you feel guilty about something that isn't even your fault!" My father spat making me look at him, so many words on the top of my tongue but i chose not to say any.How can i tell him about this feeling in my heart without sounding like a naive girl who is easily manipulated?
Hush, Baby I Am Not For Sale
“Is that so? Can you tell her then why did you leak pictures of you two kissing in your house?!” hearing this, I feel the blood freeze in my veins, I turn to my father abruptly, with eyes begging him to say that I heard wrong.But instead, I see him raise his head challengingly, and the little blood which was left in my face is now completely drained!Oh No!!Fucking No!!I look at Nate with terrified eyes, wanting him to tell me that it is not what I think it is, but again, he has that same expression that makes me nauseous.
Hush, Baby Conservatorship
“Is that her?!” my father whispers to me as we entered the reception room where I have shared coffee with Nate before, Beth didn’t offer us anything this time, not even a seat, and the gorgeous blondie had excused herself to go get Nate.The thought of that woman bothers me to the point where I, for a second, have forgotten why I came here in the first place, why is she that This is going to be difficult! I tell myself as I take a deep sigh, I am already fidgeting and hesitating, even though I have just received another confirmation about his relationship with that woman. maybe this is why you are hesitating, because the last hope just died in front of your eyes.
Hush, Baby Confident Swan
“This is a big house!” the look on my father’s house is the same I had on mine when I came here a few days ago, the house was indeed a magnificent piece of work, sadly though, I am not able to enjoy its beauty as I am directly reminded of all the things that happened here.The conversation with Nate, the time in his room, the things he told me, the way he affected me, the way my body responded to his, the dinner, the kiss, the feeling of my wet entrance pressed on his bulging member, the heat and lust in his eyes and in mine, the taste of him inside my mouth, it all comes back to me now as one big lump stuffed forcibly inside my throat, a bitter one that is.“She doesn’t look happy to see us!” my father whisper
Hush, Baby The Only Master I Know
“Are you sure he is going to be home?” I shake my head at my father’s question, to be honest I have no idea, it is Sunday, normal people won’t be at work, but again this is Nathaniel Williams, and I doubt he is enjoying a lazy Sunday morning at home with Clark and Beth.And unfortunately, this only leaves me with no other option but to call him!Fuck!I don’t want to call him, I don’t want to take his permission like a good girl, I don’t want to let him know I am coming and have him arrange the time that suits him, and I don’t want to give him the chance to prepare himself, to prepare more lies to tell
