I was back in Russia in that old stinking room. Sitting beside me was that sixty-something-year-old man stiff and dead. He was a regular client. He had come over and over every weekend since he met me and now he was there, lifeless because of his greed.
I had learned through Kenya, another girl, that he owned a casino. He was a nasty son of a bitch, with a long thick beard and no hair.
Because he paid for the service, he thought that he had a right to do as he pleased. Sometimes he tied me to the bed and did things to me like a dirty pig. Sometimes he'd spit on me or hit me over and over until I was half dead.
But now it was my turn and this time I did end his worthless life.
Kenya was a wild and tough girl. She drugged men and knew how to seduce them to do what she wanted. She didn't love it here either but she learned to live with it. Good thing she never had to deal with crazy men as I did.
She was exclusive and almost unreachable, so men who wanted to be with her needed a certain qualification. For her, they paid thrice the amount they paid for any other girl.
Now with her help not only did I become an exclusive but also a murderer.
I escalated faster unlike any other and Kenya wasn't like the other girls who got jealous. In fact, she was surprised and pleased to see me wear the golden stash exclusive girls received.
"I said no," I whispered to the corpse. "But you couldn't keep it in your pants."
I hugged the duvet up to my chest as I stood from the bed. My heart slammed loud against my chest while I studied the lifeless body. There was no sign of anything and if someone saw him, they'd think he was sleeping...but I knew better than anyone.
He was sleeping for the rest of his useless life.
I gathered strength and realized what I actually did. I glanced down at my hand, arms, and between my legs where my own blood stained the spots. He had bruised me badly and hit me multiple times before he died.
The taste of copper on my lips felt real and the pain of my swollen eyes kept me from crying.
"I said no!" I screamed.
I sat upright on my bed and started looking around to realize that I was in my room. It was all a bad dream.
The sun was up behind the dark curtains and tall buildings, and the clock on my side table read five thirty-four.
After calming my erratic heart I strolled down to make coffee. It was quiet and to divert my thoughts I made waffles and club sandwiches for each. My mind kept drifting back to the dream and my body shuddered in fear. I was trying my best to erase those memories but talking to Jake must have triggered them now.
I always told Sebastian about them and I made sure to proceed with therapy before they become worse. But this time I went against it.
When Jake walked into the kitchen, he was half smiling. "It smells good. I missed your waffles."
"I am glad you still love it. "
We ate in silence. It was very comfortable. I watched him devour the food from beneath my lashes. It gave me a sense of satisfaction to know that he still enjoyed my food.
"Sebastian sent me a message this morning. He said his father needs me in his office today." I spoke when I stood from the table.
"Alright."
"I am sorry about leaving. We are supposed to be spending time and making up for it but I think it's a good idea that I have a visit. I have been away for so long."
He gave me a smile when he finished his coffee. "It's okay. I'll see what I can do around here."
As I placed the dishes in the sink an idea came. "Do you want to come along? We can go out for lunch and do something else after I am done."
"It's not necessary"
"I don't want to leave you alone. You'll get bored."
"What if I meet you somewhere for lunch."
"Is that okay? You could get lost."
He sighed. "I am not a kid anymore."
"I'll send a driver over. What do you say?"
"As you please."
"We'll get you in a school as soon as possible. Speaking of which, now that I remember Sebastian gave me this before you ever came. It's for you." I headed to my room and returned with his laptop. "I have a list of schools on the notepad. They are well recommended by him. I will allow you to choose."
His eyes lightened in joy. "Really? Cool!"
"I have to get changed. I will be back. "
I put on a little bit of makeup, dressed in work pants and a soft color blouse, stud earrings, a watch, and black shoes. As soon as Jake caught sight of me, he gave me a worried look.
"Something wrong?"
"These are all private schools. They are so expensive."
I gave him an assuring smile. "So what? Jake, I said I will take care of you and I mean it. I have no one to work for but only you. Everything I do is for you. You deserve this."
"They cost a lot."
"I have the money. Don't argue with me. Besides Sebastian thinks it's easier to get you in one of those. Fewer papers more money."
"I am hearing more Sebastian than my own name lately. Are you in love?"
I am sure I blushed but I looked away immediately. "I'll leave. Gabe is waiting in the car and I don't want to be late."
He gave me a slight punch as I pulled away.
I was very disappointed when the one sitting behind the wheel was actually Gabe and not Sebastian. "Good morning."
"Good morning Miss Mikaelson."
******
The building was almost empty. I walked straight to Mr. Mikaelson's office. He was sitting across from Sebastian with a serious expression on his face. As soon as he saw me, he smiled.
"Amanda, sweetheart, how are you? Sebastian and I were speaking of you."
I returned the hug and kiss. "Is that so? I am doing great Mr. Mikaelson. How are you doing? "
"Better than ever. Happy birthday. I didn't think you would work today."
"The company doesn't work by itself, does it?"
I laughed. "True."
"Please sit down. I have good news. Your new product has not only sold here in England. It's being demanded in our trial countries."
"Really? It's exciting! "
"You have a gift. We are so lucky to have you. Did Sebastian tell you about my party? "
"He did," I finally acknowledged him. He gave me a nod but didn't remove his eyes. I pulled the chair next to him to sit. "He did. I know how much you'd want me there but I cannot come."
Alex furrowed his brows. "Nonsense!"
"Sebastian must have told you that my brother is here. We haven't had time to spend it together properly. I don't want to leave him alone."
"Then bring him."
Both Sebastian and I were surprised. Could I risk taking him there? Important people would surely attend, it wouldn't surprise me to know that Mike had links in England as well.
"I am not sure he would want that. "
"Then ask him. Besides, I'd love to meet the young boy. By the way, when am I having my grandchild?"
Alex knew about our situation and most of the time said things to ignite the hatred between us. He was entertained by our situation, I'd say. He knew Sebastian was a tough man, arrogant, and a hundred percent cruel. At first, he laughed about our marriage but was surprised to see how much effort I put to make it work. He was sorry for me when we decided to live separately a few weeks after our wedding. Now, he has high hopes that I bear another mini monster like Sebastian.
"I wouldn't count on that if I were you, Mr. Mikaelson. A man terrible in bed is a man terrible as a father, " I shrugged. I held back the laughter when Sebastian sat straight to look at me. He was embarrassed and fuming.
Unlike me, Alex had his head thrown back as he laughed at his son. He approved of my good sense of humor from the first moment I had a witty comeback for my new husband.
"Don't start with me, both of you. " My husband gave me a look that promised to fix that thought for me. Not that I'll give him a chance anytime soon to prove me otherwise.
"That's a good one, honey. I am so sure your mother had problems while you were in school. That tongue of yours is a special spade, you keep me entertained. I always thought you and Sebastian would make a great team." If only he knew how many times I got in trouble at school and home for it.
Sebastian shook his head in disapproval. "We are a mess father. You more than anyone know how terrible our life was together. "
He was a big-time liar. He always made it about me. That time when he cheated on me, he accused me of being the one. Of course, I didn't see him in the act, but Pollen was explicit when she explained their adventure. Those long legs, perfect body, and soft milky skin were perfectly made to attract imbeciles like him. If it wouldn't have been for his games, he wouldn't have driven me nuts. But he was a coward to accept the truth.
"Of course, my fault. I am so sorry. " I lifted my hands in surrender, faking every bit of it. " So Mr. Mikaelson, tell me. How great is this new product being sold? Will it be a season item or are we extending its production through the year."
He fixed his posture and smiled at me. " First, I have to say that we are truly happy to have you with us. Our income has grown larger since you arrived at the company, and we owe you so much. Your latest duo fragrance has been exploding in the market, but we have run out of stock. There will be a production of more because the season is not over, of course, but the decision of keeping it in the market all year long or just this season is up to you. "
My work is traveling all over the world, I thought. Some part of me was scared; the bigger one was giddy in joy. For the first time in so many years, I finally felt useful. I had something I could call mine for as long as I want.
"I cannot believe it, Alex. This is great news!" Though I made myself a promise to be formal during work, I didn't correct my words this time. "I have to think this through," I spoke excitedly. This is a huge decision for me.
I turned to Sebastian who was smiling. "Told you, you'd make it."
I nodded and returned the smile. This was the only thing we had in common. Maybe this was the only thing that had us together. He believed in me and because of it, I owed it to him. He never doubted my work, in fact, he never doubted me back in Russia. He believed me when we were strangers and he keeps believing in me even after our disastrous marriage. That's the only Sebastian I will truly be grateful to.
"I have to stand," I voiced my thoughts. I was shocked by the news, it was nearly impossible to believe. Mike made sure to tear that hope in me the moment he dragged me out of nursing school. Now that I have regained that part again, it was hard to accept it.
I could hear Alex and Sebastian chuckling. It was huge, they knew it. Not only for me but for them. They were used to having great successes in their life it was common for them. Not me.
At first, my work was criticized publicly. Even Mikealson's company was dragged down with me. But they didn't stop. They were not hesitant about me or my work, they continued producing my first fail until people eventually liked it. It was a matter of months until the degrading comments became acceptable ones and now I am at the top of the chain. We are at the top of the market!
"I'll think about it. Actually, I wanted to tell you," I blurted out, " I was working in San Fernando for a new ingredient. I think I have something."
Both men were surprised. Sebastian asked "That quick?"
"I am not sure you'll like it, though. "
"And how is that so?" Alex questioned.
"It's for men. I know my first one was not as popular as we expected, but I promise this one is also huge."
"Are you sure about it?" my husband asked. His voice was laced with worry instead of hesitation.
"Very. "
"Well, then. We'll have to hear about it soon," Alex grinned in approval.
Jake was easy to recognize anywhere we went. Even if staring at the back of his head was the only thing at the moment. I wormed through the tables and headed straight to him with a smile. He said it earlier, he wasn't a kid anymore, but how I wished I could turn back the clock to be with him those five years I missed. The echo of cutlery faded in the background as I approached the table. Jake was fiddling with the button on his shirt, unbothered by anything in this world. I thanked God for not letting him possess any feature of the devil. It would have been harder to look at him if that should had been the case. "Hi!" I pulled out the chair and sat. "I thought I'd be here earlier than you. Sorry for making you wait." He waved his hand. "Hey! No biggie. We went for a ride to waste time but turns out I was still early. I hope you don't mind." "No. It's good you entertained yourself. I shouldn't have left you alone in the first place." "I understand you have work. Or else, how would
Every time I saw Sebastian with Pollen, my heart became numb. I wanted to stop loving him. I wanted to stop looking at him the same way I'd been looking at him since the moment we made those vows. I wanted to hate him for playing with me the way he was doing, but I couldn't. Each time something happened, I made excuses for his mistakes. The sad truth is that I'd do it all over again without hesitation. But it wasn't his fault. I'd willingly take the blame for believing his vacant promises. A wave of jealousy ran through me when Pollen locked her arm into Jake's. Sebastian and Pollen had caught up with Jake and Elena. Immediately, Jake's eyes found mine. He was concerned about my reaction, but I had no right to ruin his night. I gave him a smile of reassurance before stepping away for the waiter. I took a drink from the tray and turned back to Alex. He was inspecting the bottle of wine I gave him. "It sure is my favorite one," he chuckled. He settled the bottle into the bag before
I sniffed back more tears. It was hard to know for how long I had been crying, but my pillow was damp under my cheeks. There was a ringing sound coming from the back of my head that forced me to roll to the other side of the bed. The sun rays peeking through my thin curtains caressed my back with heat. The soft strokes became melted crystal sweats, which to my annoyance made my skin clammy. I sat upright to study my surroundings. Pillows covered the floor, and my bedsheets were halfway out of my bed. I rubbed the sleep away and remained still until the memories of the previous night became clearer. Embarrassment tainted my cheeks as one specific image clouded my thoughts. How could I let my emotions take control? What will Jake think now that he knows how I truly feel about Sebastian? I have turned into an incautious woman overnight. What happened to all my hard work and self-talking about wanting to be an independent woman? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I sigh in exasperation as I slo
I flump on the couch next to Jake. He kept his eyes on the television where Friends was playing. It wasn't too loud but enough to drown the excuses I was about to state. "Jake, can we talk?" He ignored me for another five minutes until I decided to lower the volume myself to get his attention. It was obvious he was ignoring me. It wouldn't surprise me if he wanted to leave right now. "Jake, please. I feel awful for lying to you, don't make it harder for me." He turned his face first before deciding to look at me. "And how do you think I feel right now? Have you ever considered my situation?" He was right. Jake deserves more than what I am offering." I am sorry. Really! I am scared, Jake. I mean it. I am so scared that you will judge me. I am scared that you will hate me. I am scared that you will think differently of me." "Your silence is open to imagination, Jess. Since I have arrived here, I feel like a stranger. You don't tell me anything about you. It's like our connection h
Steam danced above the liquid, floating in slow motion as it left traces of rich caramelized nuts. I licked my bottom lip as I watched my cup get filled. Coffee turned into my new addiction after I quitted smoking. At least that's what everyone thinks. I groaned as I watched the thin line of liquid that connected the machine and my cup vanishes. It made a noise similar to water being drained down the bathtub followed by the clicking of something broken, drowning the peaceful sound. I pulled out my cup. I groaned and then disconnected the machine before hitting it. I couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was bothering me but I was angry. I could feel the center of my forehead crease in annoyance as I tried to fix it by hitting it harder. Probably the worst idea, but whatever.
They say love blinds and it’s true. Sebastian’s words kept ringing in my head. Even if I didn’t want it, he was the cause of my happiness. Sometimes I felt like ripping my heart out and resetting all my memories, but on occasions, I paused to think, at some point we were happy and I’d change nothing about it. Those things made me who I am. He made me who I am. It was up to me if I wanted to remain here or continue growing without him. I shook my head and walked out of the elevator to my house. The place was silent and there was no hint of Jake being around. I didn’t like him being out of sight. I’d prefer if he didn’t leave my side. But Jake was growing and he needed that freedom. I didn’t want to tie him to my hip. He deserves more than that bastar
Sebastian dropped his hands to the side and turned his attention to me. “I thought you weren’t coming.” “I changed my mind,” I shrugged. His lips curled at the edges as he took slow steps toward me. His scent drove me crazy. It was that same woody and coffee mixture that pushed my brain into ecstasy. Everything about me became conscious including my wobbly legs. “Is that so? What changed your mind? Or should I ask...who changed your mind?” he reached over and lifted my chin to look up at him. “I don’t think I should report everything I do.” He grinned. “Even so, I want to know if I was behind that decision.” I took a step back and out of his burning touch. “ I forgot h
"Jake," I tapped his small shoulder to wake him up. When he didn't respond, I pinched him harder. He couldn't be dead. When he moved under my hand, I let out a sigh of relief. He massaged the back of his head as he spoke. "What happened? " He must have felt the wetness of his head so he stared at his hand when I spoke. "Mike hit you. That bastard pushed you and me- I- thought I lost you." I sobbed. His brows furrowed in confusion while he continued staring at his hand. "We have to get you cleaned up. Let's go to the hospital," I commented trying to pull him up. Jake was very quiet compared to other days which worried me even more. In their room, mom's screams competed with Mike's. "How dare you hit my kids. They do not fault this." "Jessica was being a bitch like usual and Jake was defending that little piece of shit. No one goes against what I say." There was a brief silence before mom continued. "I know what you did to Jessica and I can see why she hates you." Like a bucket