Chapter 9- Afternoon conversations

I resist the urge to look back to see if he left. I walk straight into the living room where Ramie is staring at my brother and Gabriel.

“Ramie you remember my brother Zan” I say to her and my brother who is so occupied with making himself a plate of food he didn’t even notice her. And the fact that she went deathly silent since he knocked on the door is unsettling to say  the least. What’s up with her, she’s  on edge and I don’t appreciate the fact that she brought that energy into my space . And Zan brought Gabriel’s energy into my space as well. As if having him in my dreams is not enough.

“Oh, sorry we didn’t see you there. I get like this when my sister cooks. She does it so rarely that when she does people fall over themselves to get a bite.” Zan says walking toward Ramie to shake her hand.

“Believe me I know about Ryan’s cooking skills, we used to pay her to cook for us in school. I’m here for the food too” she says smiling at me, I smile back confused by her behavior; my intuition is ringing off the charts. What’s Ramie about?

“This is my best friend Gabriel,” Zan says pointing to Gabriel behind me, I breathe deeply feeling relieved. I don’t want him near me but I do want him around. I don’t know.

“Hi” I hear him say and I see Ramie smile at him. Her eyes light up and I suspect it’s because Gabriel is smiling that infectious smile of his. I feel him move around the sofa, again my senses are on 100% I don’t see him but I feel his every movement. I can even smell his scent, I feel foolish because I feel so connected to this guy and he hasn’t even touched me. I don’t even know him like that but…  he moves into my line of vision at the far end of the room. He’s looking around as if in a trance taking everything in. He has his hands in his Jean pockets as if stopping himself from touching anything.  And of course, he looks sexy in a damn t-shirt and jeans. He isn’t even trying but he’s winning.

I look at him walking into my living room, he looks even taller in my house. I feel so open and raw with him here. There is a reason why I don’t let people into my most intimate spaces. And his being here feels too revealing, as if on cue he walks to the wall next to my bedroom. For a moment I think he’s walking into my room but he stops on a Wall I hang all my pictures. It’s an artsy/P*******t memory wall. All the pictures are hanging on a string with pegs. All my happy and sad times are on display. He leans in to take a closer look. He walks the length of the wall taking his time. He gets to one picture, I’m sitting at a beach my face turned away from the camera. The sunset in the picture is mesmerizing and I’m topless. He turns to look at me.

“Here you go, you said you’re starving eat up,” my brother says walking to him with a plate of food. Zan walks to the only empty seat and gets comfortable. He takes one of the wine glasses and pours himself a drink.

“So what’s up with you?” he says looking from me to Ramie.

Gabriel walks closer to the sofas and seems to battle with something for a moment. He then sits next to me his big frame taking up all the space on the sofa. I feel his thigh touch mine and that zap of electricity I felt on our date hits me. He moves slightly and clears his throat. I look at him and wonder does he feels it?

“Well we’re catching up, we haven’t seen each other in so long,” Ramie says when the silence starts to stretch.

“Oh? Why’s that?” Zan says looking at me

“Mostly because I have been a bad friend, not returning calls that type of thing” I start to explain

“Oh no, it’s not entirely your fault. Life gets busy sometimes. And plus I was living in another city and all. ” Ramie says interrupting me.

“Well no matter you can fix it, reconnect. Get out there have fun, this should be good for you Ryan. You know less work more fun” he says taking the opportunity to bring up old arguments. My brother thinks I work too much and don’t have enough fun. We’ve been having this conversation since I started working at 18, I’m 26. So we’ve been having this argument for almost 10 years.

“Is this why you came to tell me to have fun?” I ask feeling the usual frustrations with my brother come up.

“No, I came to have lunch with you and check on you. I didn’t even know you’d be home. We just showed up. We’ll I dragged Gabriel here but yeah” he says between bites. I decide to eat too. Might as well eat, they’re here anyway. And it’s not like I can chase them out all three of them.

“So did you move back here or are you just visiting?” My brother says after a long silent moment moving his attention to Ramie. I guess it’s better to talk about others than to talk about ourselves.

“I haven’t decided yet, I still have a few things to sort out first before I can decide to move anywhere,” Ramie says giving me the same look she was giving me before Zan knocked on my door. And he notices because he looks from me to Ramie.

“That sounds cryptic,” he says to her.

“oh no, it’s just finding a job and a school for the kids type of situation,” Ramie says smiling at him.

“Oh!” Zan says simply.

We have our lunch talking about nothing really. The whole time my brain is playing all the emotions at once. For one Gabriel is next to me and I can feel his every movement, sigh, and word. And Ramie is opposite me freaking me out. She’s giving off vibes that are just weird and my brother is working overtime to be accommodating to her. He’s a friendly guy but only to those dear to him, not strangers.

Finally, Ramie announces she’s leaving and I take a real breath. I walk her to the door and she hugs me again like she did when she arrived.

“Thank you for seeing me today it really does mean a lot to me,” She says after letting go.

“Well thank you for reaching out every time,” I say really meaning it. It feels good to know someone cares about you. With that, she leaves

“She’s kinda off” Zan says after I close the door.

“Right? I thought it’s just me” I say whispering.