Chapter 37

Chapter 37

“Y-You're what?” Lily asked.

They were all looking at me, filled with surprise. None of them were able to react swiftly right after I announced my pregnancy to them. Lucas beside Lily wasn't moving at all. His widened eyes remained at me, unable to speak up.

“Y-You're pregnant?” She asked again.

It seems like her world collided all of a sudden, which made her feeble after hearing the news.

I nodded at her as my answer. I even placed my hand on my belly as I drew a tiny smile on my lips.

“I'm one week pregnant,” I can already picture myself carrying my baby.

I can imagine myself taking care of this baby, but not alone. That's what I cannot picture in my head, taking care of our baby alone without Elijah beside me. I don't know what to do if I take this all alone. I don't know what would be the life of this child if I carry it alone. I need Elijah the most right now. I need him so fucking bad that I am willing to drop who I am just to beg him to stay. Not for me, but for our child.

“I-Is that the reason why you want to eat healthy food?”

Marie right there was also too stunned. I can see from her face that she was just trying to process it in her head.

“Yes,” I replied.

“I am not doing all of this just for myself, but for this baby. I don't want my baby to grow up having a wrecked family. I want this child to grow up with all the happiness in life, without any stain of sadness that I have all my life.”

Call me martyr, but I won't regret all the actions that I've done up until now. Begging Elijah last night makes me feel how little I am. I felt so small while I was kneeling in front of him, but it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is the fact that I am pregnant and my child needs a father.

“Does he even know?” Lucas now asked, probably absorbed the news I announced.

That's what tears me apart. They know about it now, but my baby's father is out there, fucking different women, fooling around, getting eat up with his anger, while having no single idea that his wife is pregnant —that his gonna be a father.

“No, the three of you are the first ones who found out.”

Lily closed her eyes firmly, stressing herself with my life again.

“And why didn't you tell him?” Lucas asked. I was kinda surprised that he is calm right now. The old him would probably make a fuss after hearing the situation I am in.

“I tried. It's my plan to tell him first, but our relationship suddenly came back to how it started.” I stopped myself right there before I could mention what happened last night. I glanced at Marie and I shook my head in secrecy, telling her not to mention how I begged Elijah last night. Lucas might lose his temper if he finds out about that and attacks Elijah again.

“Your husband is having an affair while her wife is pregnant with his child,” I heard Lily chuckled with sarcasm as she thought of that.

“Just leave and we will help you take care of your baby,” Lily suddenly said, convincing me to do it once again.

I quickly shook my head. “I told you, it will never be my option.” Especially now, it will never be a choice for me.

“Do you really want that child to grow up with a complete family? Then what? Letting that baby witness how Elijah is cheating on you and hurting you? Is that what you want your baby to witness?” She was eyeing me with her tired eyes—tired and sick of slapping me the truth that I am blinding myself from.

“I'm sure he wouldn't do that once he finds out,” isn't it funny? I sounded so confident when I didn't even know if it was possible. Here I am again, taking all the risk without thinking rationally.

“And if he still does? What will you do?” Lucas asked.

“Let me guess, you will stay, won't you?” Lily shook her head at me, giving up.

“I'm sorry to meddle. But if Ms. Faith is pregnant, we should try not to give her stress. It wouldn't be good for the baby,” Marie intervened. She gave me a small smile but filled with mirth from hearing the news.

Lily and Lucas stayed for a while to check on me. They became calmer later on as well until they left. The next day, they began to take care of me as if I was sick.

“This is too much, Lucas.” I commented when he went to my office with all the boxes and paper bags of food.

“We don't know what you're craving so I bought a lot,” he said and scratched his head.

“I couldn't identify what I'm craving as well. If I ever want something, I can just call you.” I replied while checking out all the food he bought.

“But thank you,” I added. “I really appreciate you and Lily.”

“Is he not home yet?” I paused when he asked that. I mentioned to them yesterday that Elijah left last night and we're not sleeping together anymore.

I forced a little smile on my lips before I shook my head. I don't want to say anything anymore.

In the following days, I was waiting for Elijah. I work and go home with my thinnest hope that I'll finally see Elijah back to the house. Lily and Lucas didn't fail to take care of me instead of Elijah himself. I would admit that each day that Elijah is not coming back terrifies me even more. What if he really abandoned me? What if he doesn't plan to come back anymore?

“He's neglecting you,” Marie uttered while it was already late and yet I was on the terrace, watching the gate of our mansion, hoping that Elijah would arrive. She placed a cardigan on my shoulders and wrapped it on my arms as the breeze was waiting with me.

“Do you think he will go home?” I asked.

“I don't know,” Marie replied.

A week passed and Elijah didn't come home. I was losing my hope each day, but I was still uplifting my spirits to wait for him more.

“I'll guess it, he's still not showing, isn't he?” Lily asked while I was in my shop and working.

“Tsk. He's abandoning you at this point. You should just listen to me,” she added.

I couldn't say a thing about that as I don't even know where Elijah is. I don't hear any news about him and I am just thankful that his parents aren't asking me as well. I would bet that they are probably clueless about this matter.

Where is he? Where are you, Elijah?

Elijah’s POV

“Oh, that was…fun,” she bit her lower lip and I threw myself beside her. We were both naked. I was still sweating beyond the aircon in the room.

I glued my eyes on the ceiling with a lot of things running inside my head. I am so confused that I couldn't even sleep.

“What are you thinking? You can share it with me, I'm a stranger.” The woman said beside me.

It's been a week since I last left the house. I turned off my phone so no one could contact me. I'm sure that Faith would cover me up once my parents asked about me. But then, the entire week, I couldn't stop thinking of how she begged me to stay that night. I couldn't stop myself from feeling the pain in my chest everytime I think of it.

“It's about a girl, don't you? You're married, right?”

“I am,” I replied.

“Why are you doing this to her, then? Don't you love her?” That question made me freeze.

Do I love Faith?

“I don't know,” I replied.

“Tell me, what do you feel?”

I heaved a heavy sigh. “I hate her. I blame her for someone’s death who's very special to me. I married her to make her feel the hell I felt when that someone died. I did everything to hurt her and make her cry,”

“Did you like seeing her cry?” she asked again. I stayed looking at the ceiling on top of us.

“At first, I do.”

“And now?”

Silence invaded the two of us. I wasn't able to answer quickly.

“It breaks me to see her cry. I feel like I always have to take care of her, but I can't also erase my hatred towards her. I kept thinking of what she's doing right now. If she's okay, I'm so befuddled by everything.”

I don't even know why I am sharing this to her.

“You're in love with her,” that made me glance at her.

“What?” She looked back at me with a little smile.

“You love your wife. You're only confused because you keep blaming her. Why not believe her side? I'm sure she's a good woman based on your story.”

I smirked. “How sure are you?”

“Because she didn't leave you even how much you already hurted her and gave her tons of reasons to leave,”

Her last words pinned in my head. She was right. Beyond everything that I did, Faith didn't leave and she never thinks of leaving me.

“If you don't want to regret things in the future, I suggest that you stop whatever you're doing right now.” She added.

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