Chapter 38

Chapter 38

“How long will you experience that?” Marie asked while caressing my back as I was throwing up again on the toilet in my room. I couldn't even paint my face anymore with the pain that I feel inside my stomach. I almost glued my face there after it finally stopped.

I feel so feeble, early in the morning.

“Are you okay? What should I do?” She asked, being hysterical. Her entire face was showing me how worried she was. She looks at me as if I am sick when I am just pregnant.

“I'm good,” I replied.

I tried to stand up and she didn't let me do it alone. I had to brush my teeth immediately before I threw myself back on my bed again. I didn't know that it is so hard to carry a baby inside your womb.

“Is it still morning sickness? Maybe you should see a doctor again,” I chuckled when Marie couldn't really calm her own storms. She's too worried to me that she's overthinking already.

“The doctor said that this is normal. Besides, I'll go back tomorrow for another check up,” I mentioned. It's been a week since I found out that I am pregnant.

Guess what? Elijah is still clueless that I am already with his baby. I don't know where he is. I tried to call him every day, but it seems like he intendedly turned off his phone. Until now, he's not home. Does he even know how many times I think of him? It's so hard to take a nap each night when I am being filled with my endless thoughts, killing me inside and out. My fear is becoming bigger each day that I have no idea where he is and if he will still come back.

“What about work? Are you still going? Maybe you should just stay here. Should I call Sir Lucas? Or maybe Ms. Lily?” My eyes landed at Marie beside me, standing right there. She's really damn anxious about my situation.

“Marie, I'm okay. I'll just lie down a bit to regain my strength then I will take a bath so I can go downstairs and eat breakfast,” I was hoping that my words will calm her down a bit.

She sighed heavily, trying to cool down.

“I'll check the food. Do you have any cravings?”

It got me thinking all of a sudden. My brows crossed as my mind began to travel.

“I'm craving cake,” her jaw dropped with what I said. I bit my lower lip as I know that it wouldn't be easy if they would bake it by themselves.

“We can't bake,” she replied. “I can order though. What's the flavor that you want?” She asked and quickly grabbed her phone inside her pocket.

I chuckled with her cuteness. She was able to solve the problem that quickly.

“Hmm,” I have to think of it again. I caressed my belly while I was thinking.

“What about chocolate?” She suggested. My face crumpled before I shook my head.

“It's disgusting,” I commented. I heard how she chuckled with a glimpse of unbelievable reaction towards me.

“I can't believe you hate chocolates now,” she laughed in front of me and I just glared at her.

“I don't know. Thinking about chocolate cake makes me want to throw up again,” it makes me feel sick just by thinking of it!

“Maybe mango graham flavor will do,” I know I'm acting weird because of my pregnancy. But I swear, when I thought of that in my head, I felt like I started to starve all of a sudden.

“Alright. I'll order right away!” She exclaimed, acting like a waitress in a restaurant, picking up my order.

As Marie left the room, I stayed there a little longer before I took a bath and dressed up. I want to stay home, but I also know that it would make me feel lonely if I stay here.

“It’s so damn good,” I commented while I was the only one eating the entire cake. Marie was only watching me there, wearing her bright smile as if she enjoys what she's doing.

“I can't wait to see the baby,” she commented.

“I don't even know what will happen to the two of us,” it faded the smile that I was wearing with the joy I felt from eating the cake.

“If he doesn't come back, I'm sure that it will be better—you will be better.” Will it be really better? Because I cannot imagine taking care of this child without him by my side.

Each night, I think of the days I thought he's really back. How he takes care of me, how he stood up for me from my parents, and how he made me happy in the most effortless way.

“It's not easy, Marie. I want this child to grow up with a complete family,” it is what I want the most for my child. I don't want this child to experience the cruelty of the world inside the place where it is supposed to be his home.

“No offense, Ms. Faith. But you grew up with a complete family and yet it didn't go well. My point is, does it really matter? Would you want a complete family but chaotic or an incomplete family but full of joy and peace?” Her words strike out right through my chest. She got me thinking there.

After that breakfast, I headed straight to my store located in the mall. I stayed in my small office there, whileI was spacing out alone. My head is so messy that it gives me a headache as well.

I was a bit startled when someone knocked on the door. I heaved a heavy sigh and had to pull myself back together.

“Come in,” I said aloud. The door opened and I saw Lily immediately with her cousin, Lucas.

“Aren't you a busy person now? I often see you,” I said when I saw Lucas again. Well, he was always away before. It's once in a blue moon to see him and it would be a miracle if he showed up to the planned hangouts we used to have.

“You're pregnant and your bastard husband isn't showing up. How can I even work?” I somehow regretted bringing that up, only if I knew that he would drag Elijah's name here all over again.

“Is he still not going home?” Lily asked as they both sat on the couch in my office.

I remained silent, unable to answer them. If I know where he is, they wouldn't need to ask me anymore because I will tell them about it right away.

“You should tell his parents about this,” Lucas suggested.

“What did you bring this time?” I chose to focus myself on the paper bags they brought again. I did that to avoid and get rid of that conversation that I don't want to talk about.

“Stop avoiding the topic, Faith.” Lucas uttered, which made me pause from pretending.

I shut my eyes lightly as I breathed heavily.

“I can't tell them about it,” I replied.

“And why? Don't tell me they are treating you badly as well?” Her eyes became sharp immediately without even confirming it yet.

“They are different, Lily, totally different. They treat me as their real daughter more than my real parents,” there was a glimpse of bitterness in my voice when I mentioned that. I sometimes wish that I could be their real daughter. Maybe I won't experience such a thing. Elijah is so lucky to have a parents like them.

“Then tell them how jer their son is. Maybe they can do anything,” Lucas said again, still on it.

“His phone is turned off. Besides, I don't want to stress them. They are aging, too.”

“And you are pregnant. Stress is forbidden for pregnant women, Faith.” Lily is really a keen one. She would be able to find a hole in every word I utter and in every reason I made to cover things up.

“Let's not talk about it, then.” Thankfully, I was able to convince them and change the topic immediately.

I spent my day in my store and went home in the evening. In a week that Elijah is absent in my life during my pregnancy, which he doesn't know, everything I do each day becomes a cycle—a tiring cycle.

“Ms. Faith!” Marie exclaimed when I got out of the car after arriving from work.

My brows crossed immediately as I judged her reaction. Her eyes were widened and she looked nervous.

“What's wrong?” I quickly asked. I can tell in one glance that something is up.

I looked around slowly and saw a car parked in the garage. I know that car very well.

“Is he back?” My eyes widened as well with so much wave of hope shining upon me.

“Yeah, but he's wi—Ms. Faith, hold on!” I didn't let her finish her words anymore when I just barged inside our house, wearing the huge smile painted on my lips.

“Eli…” his name that I was about to call vanished. My lips remained parted when I saw a woman with him, going upstairs.

Elijah's hand was behind her and the woman's smile was shining so much. He glanced at me from the staircase and I was only lost for words. My hope faded and crumbled again and again.

“Who is she?” His new woman asked.

I crumpled my hand as I waited for what would be his answer to the woman.

“No one,” he replied and turned his back at me.

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