Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I know it sounds crazy, but the cemetery gives peace more than the usual places. I have been there, inside my car, while I was staring at the exact grave of Freya that I can clearly see from here.

I woke up early—or should I say that I dressed up early because I didn't really get to sleep last night after what happened. I was crying a river all night, and that is not a surprise anymore. I intentionally left the house before I could even cross Elijah's sight again. The more he becomes aggressive and obnoxious, the more I find him perilous for me.

I blew air heavily before I decided to get out of the car and walk towards Freya. Every step that I make gathers all the daggers deeply pierced on my chest.

“How are you, Freya?” I found a little smile on my lips.

“Sorry, I came empty handed.” I chuckled.

I was supposed to head straight to my office but ended up being here.

“I was thinking, if the accident didn't happen, would all of this happen to me? Perhaps my life won't be as hell as it is right now.” I tried my best not to tear apart, but my tears that are welling out in my eyes are unstoppable. My chest is too painful to refrain my tears from falling. It is too heavy to conceal the extreme melancholy I am in.

“When I told you not to drive, you should have listened, Freya. Why are you so stubborn?” I closed my eyes and all the tears that I was keeping in the corner of my eyes began to drip down on my face.

“Do you despise me for marrying Elijah?” I cackled. I looked like a crazy woman there, smiling while crying at the same time.

“I'm having a hellish life, Freya. Elijah and our parents are blaming me for your death. They said I killed you and I should just die instead of you,” in my head, all their words are coming back. My Dad and Mom's hurtful words and Elijah's rubbish treatment of me.

“But I love them, Freya. I have to bear the pain, especially now that you're gone.” I tried to dry all my tears as I breathed heavily. My eyes closed slowly when I felt the breeze that seemed to be embracing me in the gentlest way.

I nodded with a soft smile.

“Was it you, Freya?” I broke down once again.

“I missed you so much, Freya.”

I wish I could just stay there forever. Away from any noises and away from all the mess of my life. I should have really died instead of Freya instead of living this kind of life where I cry all the time as if it is already part of my day.

I drove to my office instead of going to my shops. It's not a very huge company as I still want to keep it simple beyond my great success. This is the only one I have for myself.

“Ms. Faith, the model is in your office. I let him in already,” my brows crossed immediately when my secretary, Rica, said that.

Model?

“Brian?” I confirmed. He's the only model that I can think of.

“Yes, Ms. Faith. I served him some snacks already while waiting for you,” I only nodded before I quickly headed there. I didn't knock anymore as I sat foot inside.

“Hey, you're finally here.”

His huge smile greeted me. I had to force myself to smile again just to be polite. I'm still kinda ashamed of what happened yesterday. Why does he have to witness it in all people?

“I’m sorry for what happened yesterday in my house,” I bit my lower lip while I couldn't paint my face in front of him.

He's a huge person in the showbiz industry and yet Elijah disrespected him.

“Oh, that? I don't mind, don't worry. That's Elijah Luciero, right? I know his parents,” looking at him wearing that smile makes me think of how he is managing to keep that while I had to force myself to draw one on my lips?

It made me realize how different our lives are.

“I see. He was just drunk yesterday, I'm sorry.”

“Are you happy?”

That made me freeze in one snap. His sudden question stunned me and I lost all my words.

“I mean, you don't look happy in your marriage.”

Oh, Freya. The man you idolized is interrogating me so much. But then, how am I supposed to deny that when I know that he is right?

“Eyes don't lie you know. Your smile isn't convincing, either.” He shrugged.

“Anyway, why are you here? I haven't done anything yet.”

“Well, I didn't come for that.”

“Why are you here, then?”

“I came to check on you. You didn't look fine yesterday when your husband came,” I don't understand why he's acting this way. Is he just kind to be this concerned?

“I'm fine, don't worry. Thanks for that though. I'll just call you after I finish the design,” he is another person who is hard to fool. I tried to keep that smile in front of him just to make him believe that everything is fine.

“Alright. Gotta go now, I'll wait for your call.”

“Of course. Thanks again, Brian.” He left me again with his broad smile before he left my office. As soon as the door closed, the little smile I was wearing faded in a blink of an eye. I sat back on my chair with so much weakness again.

I began to do all the work again. I told my secretary not to allow any visitors unless they are a client. Even just for now, I want to be alone while working. I want peace, just this once.

“Come in,” I said aloud when I heard the knock on my door.

Rica came in just like who I was expecting.

“Yes, Rica?”

“Do you have your phone? I got a call from a bar. They said Mr. Elijah is there and drunk. They asked us to pick him up,” I quickly looked for my phone and it's in my bag. I shut my eyes firmly when I saw that it was on Do Not Disturb mode.

“Send me the address, I'll go and pick him up.” I checked the time on my wrist watch and it's already 9 pm.

This is why I can't work without any disturbance. I didn't even notice the time once I started digging up all my work.

I received Rica's message right before I started to drive. I didn't know why I was doing this even with what happened yesterday.

“He's drunk again,” I mumbled. This is all I can do for him.

I have no idea when he will do this to himself. Even if we are married, I know that I still don't have the right to tell him what to do and what he should not do. Because for him, I'm the killer of Freya and he married me to punish me and pour all his pain and anger towards me.

“Hi. I'm here to pick up a man? Elijah Luciero!” I said to the waiter. I had to raise my voice a bit to be heard because of the loud music.

“He's over there!” The different colors of lights are blinding me. I almost didn't see Elijah because of it.

“Thanks!”

There was him on the table with his face almost kissing it. The numerous bottles of alcohol makes me sigh heavily.

“Elijah,” I called near him. I even tried to shake him a bit and wake him up.

“Hey, Elijah. We have to leave,” I said again. But then, he was too drunk to wake up.

At the end, I had to ask the waiters there to help me carry him. I am so thin and weak to bring him in my car just by myself. I can smell the reek of alcohol and cigarette to him.

“Thank you so much,” I said to the two waiters. They only bowed their heads before leaving.

Now, I glanced at Elijah in the front seat looking so drunk. The alcohol knocked him out this bad. I shook my head and headed inside.

I was supposed to drive as soon as I sat in the driver's seat. But then, everything just stopped when I stared at him closer. Slowly, I couldn't help but to remember the happy days we had before as close friends. I somehow miss the sparkling wide smile that could rip his lips before.

“How did we end like this, Elijah? How did we become this torn?” My voice broke as soon as my tears betrayed me again.

I quickly shed all of it and pulled myself together. I moved my eyes away trying not to cry anymore. I'm so tired of it. I'm so sick of it.

“W-Why?”

I paused when I was about to drive. I came back, eyeing him beside me when he suddenly uttered that.

“Elijah?”

“Why…Why is my heart melting to you, Faith?”

My lips parted. Even though I tried not to burst into tears, they are just slipping out of my eyes without my consent.

“Elijah,” I called again. His eyes remained closed but his words were clear enough for me to understand.

“Why do I pity you when I'm supposed to enjoy seeing you in pain?”

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