Chapter 18

Chapter 18

On my birthday, Elijah took advantage of me and forced me to do it with him. Did I ask for too much? I only want to end my birthday with a rest from work. How can the heaven above couldn't even grant that simple wish for me?

“Ms. Faith!”

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when Marie shouted my name and even slammed her hands on the table. I was startled. She captured my attention right away. I was not into myself that I was already spacing out again. What Elijah did to me for the second time is running rent-free in my head. I couldn't forget it. His touch, the way he pinned me on the wall, the way he locked my hands firmly on his grasps, the way he grabbed my hair like I am a damn prostitute, and the way he enjoyed himself while I was begging him to stop. It was all stuck and glued in my head.

“H-Huh? Why?” I asked immediately. I took a heavy breath as I shut my eyes firmly, trying to pull myself back to my senses.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly again.

I froze from the moment she asked me that once again. Marie never fails to ask me if I am okay each day. However, while our eyes were pinned towards each other after that question, it was different. I crumpled my hands under the table. I wanted to tell her that I am not fine. I want to tell her so bad what I have been through last night. But then, I had no voice—I was so voiceless that I couldn't utter any words. I couldn't speak as if there was a lump in my throat.

“O-Of course,” I quickly moved my eyes away and forced myself to swallow the food just to avoid looking at her.

Tears were playing around my eyes again and I knew that I had to hold them back.

“Sir Elijah,” Marie called, which made me stop from eating. I only have two bites that I couldn't even swallow yet, then he goes, arriving.

It all came back again. Like a wave of the past, it painted and hit my mind again and again. I found myself trembling, my hands, rather. I started to feel heavy on my chest, as if someone was choking me.

“Are you going to eat?” Marie asked again.

I remained glued on my seat, unable to move.

“Yeah,” he replied. I heard his footsteps coming towards me and was about to sit in the chair in front of me.

Before our eyes could even meet, and before I could even see him after what he did, I quickly stood up and grabbed my things there. I was fucking trembling; my hands, my legs.

“Where are you going? Are you done?” Marie asked immediately when she saw me leaving the table.

“Y-Yeah. I have to go,” I said, still shivering as I got filled with fear again.

“What? But you just started eating,” she said, and couldn't understand why I was suddenly leaving.

“I really have to go,” I replied.

“Why? It's your sister's birthday today,” that made me freeze once again when I already turned my back.

My lips parted, before I realized that it is Freya's birthday today. How can I forget her birthday? How can't I? I'm wrecked. Too wrecked to remember it.

“Won't you celebrate her day because you killed her?” I clenched my hand while I was still not facing him.

How can he act like this after what he did to me last night? How can he bring this up as if he doesn't have a heart anymore?

I bit my lower lip when I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. I tried all my best not to create any noise as I began to burst into tears.

“I have to go, Marie.” I said with my firm voice. At least, I successfully said that without my voice breaking.

I walked away from there without letting go a single word to Elijah. I couldn't look at him anymore. On my way to my office, I even have to compose myself once again to conceal how shattered I am to all the people.

“So, since we're releasing a summer collection, of course the venue should fit with the theme, right? That's why, we gave it a thought and perhaps Siargao in the Philippines will be a perfect one!” The presenter exclaimed with so much energy painted from his face.

That moment, it wasn't the presentation that was running in my head. It got me thinking how these people can even manage to smile and laugh while I couldn't even have one?

“We have been to London, New York, Japan, and many countries before for our runway. Why not to the Philippines now? I've heard a lot about Siargao. It's a very famous place there. So, what do you think, Ms. Faith?”

Even right now, I wanted to cry. My chest was still so heavy that I felt like there were tons of daggers pierced right there. I might not be bleeding physically, but I could feel it inside me from being torn each day.

“Ms. Faith,”

“Huh?”

My head was elsewhere again.

“He's asking you,” my secretary said. That was when I saw all of them looking at me.

“Sorry, Ms. Faith doesn't feel good today.” My secretary made up for me.

I closed my eyes emphatically. I couldn't even focus on work.

“What is it again?”

“Uhm, I recommended Siargao in the Philippines as the venue of the runway. Do you agree, Ms. Faith?” I knew that he was kinda disappointed when he realized that I was not well attended during his presentation.

“Why not? I've heard about it,” I said immediately and tried to act fine in front of them.

“Alright! Everything's settled, then! The runway will be in Siargao!” They all clapped, showing me different mountains and lights of their joy. How can they be easily happy over simple things while I find it so hard?

“I have to go,” I told my secretary.

“Finish this for me,” I added while they are all still excited and kinda celebrating.

It's Freya's birthday. Even if I am not fine, I must still visit her again and greet her with a happy birthday. I left work early, before the dark invaded the sky. I bought a cake and a bouquet of flowers for her. I intentionally came here a bit late as I know that my parents and Elijah would come here. I wasn't wrong when I found flowers and some boxes of their gifts on her grave.

“Happy birthday, Freya.” I said as I lit the candle on her birthday cake.

“I bought your favorite cake,” it was a graham cake. I remember how Freya will be willing to do everything in exchange for this cake that she loves the most.

“Sorry, if I came a bit late.” I uttered. I heaved a sigh, as I watched from there the sun going down slowly.

“I should have just really died instead of you,” I commented and chuckled.

I don't know what happened to my life. Since she died, everything has become a mess—a total mess.

“It's my birthday yesterday,” I mentioned. “If you are alive, you'll probably greet me at exactly 12 am.”

As I chuckled again, I felt how my tears began to land on my cheeks, slipping out from my eyes.

“I wish you're here, Freya.” My voice was shattered again.

“I wish you're here to defend me just like what you always do,” I couldn't help it anymore. I cried really hard right in front of her grave.

“I wish you didn't die, Freya. Why do you have to leave me? Who would believe me now when you're gone?” Among all of them, Freya was the only one who always believed in me when none of them could. She defends me all the time and understands me everytime.

In a blink of an eye, she just vanished from all our lives, which created a huge wound to all of our hearts. A wound that seems to be incurable.

I didn't know how many hours I cried and talked to Freya. All I know, I went home when it's already dark.

“Get out!”

I froze when I was about to set foot inside the house after hearing that deafening voice.

“Ms. Faith!” Marie exclaimed when she came out of the house in a hurry.

“What's going on?” I asked immediately.

“Sir Elijah,” she uttered.

As soon as she said that wearing her eyes filled with fear, I quickly went inside to see what's happening this time.

“Give me alcohol! What are you doing?!”

For a few seconds, I got glued right there. Elijah was on the floor with a lot of empty bottles of alcohol on the floor. I could smell the reek of alcohol and I knew that he was already drunk.

“Where's the alcohol, huh? Where the fuck it is? Give me more!”

“S-Sir, I-I don't know!” The maid replied, trembling in front of Elijah.

“Elijah, stop!” I exclaimed and now meddled before he could even hurt the maid. I saw how the maid quickly ran away when I was able to capture Elijah's mad eyes.

“You're drunk,” I said calmly and tried to steal the bottle of alcohol from his hand.

“You,” he muttered. “You killed her,” he suddenly laughed like a damn psycho losing his proper mind.

“That's enough, Elijah. Let's go to your roo—”

“YOU FUCKING KILLED HER!”

“MS. FAITH!”

I closed my eyes when Elijah threw the bottle of alcohol towards me. It was glass, and I knew that it could hurt me. I don't know how long I remained looking like that. I was too stunned to move.

“You're bleeding,” Marie said and came immediately beside me.

My eyes landed on my arms that were bleeding around. I saw a broken piece of the bottle pierced right there.

“This is dangerous, we have to clean it up and remove that,” Marie added.

The blood didn't scare me anymore. I just want this to end. I just want to rest. I glanced at Elijah again, eyed him with my tired eyes.

“Can you just stop?” Exhaustion cannot be hidden from my voice along with a glimpse of begging from me.

“Please, just stop.” I begged again, hoping that just for this once, he will listen to me.

His eyes landed on my arm that was bleeding a lot and perhaps, it made him sober enough to think.

“Clean this up,” I said to Marie.

“Yeah. But let's clean your wound first, you're bleeding a lot.” I heaved a sigh when I saw how my blood was dripping and staining the white tiles.

“I can do it myself,” I replied.

I faced Elijah once again.

“Let me rest,” I marched out of there as if I wasn't hurt at all because of him again.

What's new? He even slapped me before.

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