Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Instead of waiting in the living room until Elijah comes home, I headed straight to the room where he slept last night. My entire body was shivering while I was walking there repeatedly. I was biting my nails already while I couldn't calm the storms in my head.

They were flirting. I knew it from one glance. How can a married man allow another woman to play with his hair? That woman's look at him was sticky like a leech clinging on him. She has the same look that his women had before. That moment, I was so scared. My fear was already filling me up that my brain is not working anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

“Elijah,” I stopped when he came inside the room. His eyes were cold and blank again, totally different from the way he looked at me when we were in Siargao. There was no glimpse of care from his eyes. All I can see was hatred and pain that fills him up.

“W-Where have you been?” My voice trembled. I waited so long for him and yet I couldn't construct the words that I wanted to tell him.

I crumpled my hand as I waited for his reply, terrified of what I was about to hear.

“Why do you care?”

The Elijah I know wouldn't answer me like that. Even his broad and bright smile vanished on his lips.

“I'm your wife, Elijah.” I still tried to fight that.

“I went to see a woman and flirt with her even if I am married,” at that very moment, my knees became feeble. Any moment, I would lose my balance with so much weakness. I thought it would hurt more if he lies, but I didn't know that the pain is worse when he says it like he doesn't care if he's married to me.

“I…” a tear slipped out of my eyes, but I still tried to remain fine and strong in front of him even if I was already breaking into a million pieces.

“I thought we're fine? I thought we are working this marriage out?” I tried to get his hand but he quickly threw my hand away. His dark eyes were back again. Those are the eyes that I fear and hate the most.

“What's happening, Elijah? Why are you being like that?” I already sobbed. He distanced himself to me, avoiding my touch. Finally, he broke his eyes at me as he looked away.

“I tried, Faith.” He uttered, without glancing at me.

“I swear, I tried to work things out between us. I thought I can…I thought we can really be happy beyond what happened,” he cackled while tears were welling out of his eyes.

“But I can't,” he shook his head as he looked at me.

“I still can't accept Freya's death and I still can't forgive you, Faith. I'm wrecked, I'm so fucking wrecked! Everytime I look at you, it reminds me of her death. In my eyes, you're still the one who killed her and I don't think that could change,”

It was too painful. My world is crumbling down and I was still trying to save it and fix it for the two of us. My entire face was already soaked because of my tears but I couldn't accept what Elijah just said.

I thought everything was fine. I thought we already have a foundation to work things out. But why is this happening again? The joy that I already have is fading once again. The smile that I used to wear faded again.

“No,” I shook my head and tried to wipe my own tears.

“We can do it. It will take time but you gotta just keep trying. I told you, right? I didn't do anything to my sis—”

“Enough, Faith!” He exclaimed and dodged my touch. He threw my hands away from him and created more space between us as if he's disgusted with me.

“I meant it when I say I'm sorry for hurting you. But that's it, Faith. This will not work no matter how hard I try because I hate you. I'm not sleeping here tonight,”

“Elijah, no! Wait!” I exclaimed and immediately followed him out.

“Elijah, don't do this! Let's talk, please!” I was so desperate that I followed him downstairs while crying like a kid again.

“Ms. Faith, what's going on?” I didn't care if Marie was there and the other maids are witnessing this kind of situation in our marriage again.

All I want is to save our marriage. All I want is to make Elijah stay. How can I leave like this when I am pregnant? I'm not just doing this for myself, I'm doing this for the sake of our baby that I'm carrying in my womb.

“Elijah, please!” I knelt on the ground and even embraced his leg, stopping him from leaving and letting our relationship drift away.

I don't know what I am doing anymore, and I don't care if I look stupid. I don't want him to leave. I want this marriage to work for us, and for our baby.

“P-Please, Elijah…Don't leave…Let's talk it out, let's make this work.” I begged like a beggar. I even bowed on his shoe, begging so much that I forgot about who I was. I forget about my degree, about me being one of the most popular fashion designers in the world. I dropped all I had the moment I begged him on my knees.

“I will do everything! I will do everything you want just try harder. Just don't do this to me,” I was already shivering while giving everything I have for him. I was so willing to give my world and even my entire life to him just to make him stay.

“You will do everything?” He asked.

“Y-Yes…Yes, Elijah. T-Tell me,” I said desperately.

“Bring back Freya's life,” I lost all my hopes when he said that. He knew that I would not be able to do that and yet that was what he wanted me to do.

Only if I can bring her life, I will do it without no one asking me to do it.

“My keys,” he said and pulled his leg away from me and threw my hands as well. I was left there breaking on the floor while I watched him leave and I failed to do something.

“Ms. Faith, what's this? Why are you doing this? Stop begging!” Marie exclaimed and burst into tears as she cupped my face gently.

“What's wrong with me, Marie? What did I do wrong?” I asked her when I couldn't answer that question as well.

“Nothing's wrong with you, Ms. Faith. You're perfect, you are more than that.”

Am I? If I am, why is Elijah doing this to me?

You have a baby, Elijah. I wanted to tell him that so badly, but I don't know what stopped to tell him that.

“I didn't kill my sister, I told it to him already! But why can't he believe me? Why can't he forgive me for something that I didn't even do? Why are they all doing this to me, Marie?” my voice shattered in so much pain that my heart was pouring out. Marie quickly locked me in her arms and allowed me to cry aloud there.

I am crying again. I'm in so much pain again that I feel like it's torturing me. I thought everything's fine. I thought the hell was over, but I was wrong. It was just a taste of joy—a joy that hates me as well.

“I thought we're happy. I thought my suffering was done! What else should I do to make him stay? What else should I do to make him love me, huh?!”

“Sssshhhh. You don't have to do anything, Ms. Faith.” Marie said while trying to make me stop from crying.

“Can you stop doing this to yourself? You're Faith Flamera. You're a famous fashion designer. You're a billionaire who succeeded on her own! You don't owe them anything, Ms. Faith!”

I know exactly all of that. But right now? I don't think any of those matter to me.

“Wake up, Ms. Faith. Until when are you going to do this to yourself, huh?” Even Marie was crying along with me, probably pitying me for what I am doing to myself.

I placed my hand on my belly. This is the strongest reason why I am doing this, why I am trying to make Elijah stay.

We have a child. I am pregnant. But what should I do now that Elijah despised me again? How am I supposed to carry this child alone?

If I have to beg every day, I will do that for the sake of my baby.

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