Chapter Twelve

It’s been over a month and I was starting to see and I was able to trace the line of my bones with one glance.  I had stopped fighting or even arguing; the bullying got worse after I stopped fighting back. The food I got served at the dining hall got smaller and smaller and I never got to eat it. My roommates either tripped, the food either ended in my hair and I was just wheezing around. The only person that was holding me was Juniper.

He always had a hot meal for me or a loaf of bread and I was practically living on the scraps he had left for me. I was a wreck and I knew it but there was nothing I could do about it. Deep down, I was quietly already waiting to slump one day and never open my eyes again.

I packed the pile of plates and slipped them into the bowl of water. I took one step and I staggered but a strong arm was immediately wrapped around my waist to steady me.

“For goodness sake Amira, you have to rest." Juniper’s concerned voice washed over me and I slowly slumped to the ground.

“You look bad Amira, you are in a really terrible shape. You are literally skin and bones” Juniper added as I met his worried and concerned eyes. A small smile spread across my lips.

“I’m fine” I replied to him and he scoffed, “Fine? You are anything but fine Amira and you know it” he retorted and I chuckled slightly lowering my eyes.

“I’m fine Juniper” I replied slowly, closing my eyes. I enjoyed the twenty seconds of silence before Juniper’s words made me slowly open my eyes.

“Amira, do you miss home?” he asked and my eyes slowly unveiled themselves. I stared at his quiet profile before slowly turning my head.

Home.

It was the thought of home that woke me up every morning, the thought of my family, of my mom and of my younger sister. Thinking about home helped me pass through each day despite the cruel reality that I lived in.

“I miss home Juni” I replied softly as tears rolled down my cheeks, “I miss my Mom, I miss my Dad and I miss my sister” I continued.

“I miss Runa and I miss everyone back at home. I miss…” a sob choked my throat as I burst into tears. I missed home terribly, so terribly.

Everyone back at home compared me to everyone else but no one starved me, no one made me feel like my existence was a sin, no one dared to make me feel like that. Even if I wasn’t the ideal example of a princess, I tried my best and I had enough to eat. I missed basking in the sunshine, I missed cracking jokes with Runa, I missed her walking into my room with a row of gons to be tried on, I missed sneaking off to watch the sun rise, I missed everything.

“I’m so sorry Ami,” Juniper whispered as he pulled me into a hug. I didn’t care as I hugged him back, crying my eyes out. What was happening to me was unfair but there was nothing we could do about it. Nothing at all.

“I’m so sorry Ami so I need you to please survive, I need you to try your best Amira. Because if you don’t. If you don’t survive, you’ll never see home again, your mom or your sister or Runa and…” He trailed off.

 “You need to pay your respects to your father’s grave. You won’t ever be able to do that if you don’t survive, if you don’t try your best s please Amira. You need to bring back your fight” he added softly.

I didn’t know when I stopped crying but I slowly disengaged from him stepping back and wiping my snot.

“I need to wash these plates. Aurora would have my head if I tried to rest without doing my chores first” I sniffed.

“You should go and rest” someone said and I turned to see an older woman staring at me with concern in her eyes.

“Juniper is right, you should rest” someone else chipped in and I looked around the kitchen seeing that everyone was now staring at me with concern and worry in their eyes.

“Let me help you back to your room” Juniper said and I shook my head, “I can go myself. We would draw attention if you did that” I replied, forcing a smile as I dragged my feet out of the kitchen.

My trip back to the room was longer than usual and by the time I laid on my bed and curled up, all that was in my head was Juniper’s words and the fact that everyone in the kitchen had seen me cry and admit that I missed home and the care, concern and worry in their eyes made me feel warm. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel alone, I didn’t feel like I was all alone in the world.

I closed my eyes trying to find sleep but sleep wasn’t very interesting to me. The sounds of my roommates walking into the room made me sigh softly. I could already imagine the barrage of insults and taunts coming my way but for some reason I heard nothing except whispers which made my brows furrow. 

As I tried to open my eyes, a pillow was thrown over my head and then numerous kicks and beatings followed. All my screams and shouts were muffled with the pillow over my head and all my thrashing was held down by someone else, laughter followed and I could feel myself blackening out. Half way through their beatings, I stopped moving, unable to move my hands or body and my consciousness was blurring in and out

My immobility seemed to have startled them as they stopped. I felt someone slapping me and shouting my name but I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t tell them I was fine and I just needed to sleep but I couldn’t open my mouth or my body.

The voices got louder and more haphazardly and I heard shouting and arguing. I wanted to tell them they were too loud and I needed to sleep. All of a sudden; I felt someone lift me onto someone’s back and then the person started running, I wanted to tell them to stop and I was getting dizzy and dizzer till I blanked out.

The world around me was dark and no matter how hard I tried to move, I was met with the same darkness.

“Who’s there?” I screamed but there was stillness and nothing. I blinked my eyes rapidly hoping that the darkness would go away but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t open my eyes. Then I shut my eyes tightly and slowly tried to open them but before I could open my eyes, the strong stench of herbs hit my nose and I scrunched up my face in disgust.

Flecks of light travelled into my eyes and I tried opening my eyes a few more times but I couldn’t see clearly but I heard voices and I tried to calm myself to hear the voices clearly.

“Why does she look like that?” Jonathan’s voice drifted into my ears and my spine straighten up unconsciously at the sharpness and firmness in his voice.

“I have no idea” Aurora’s voice followed and I frowned. What was Jonathan and Amira talking about?

“You have no idea why she looks like that? She looks so bony that I can literally count her bones just by looking at her. I want you to look at me again and tell me that you have no idea why she looks like that” Jonathan thundered and I flinched on the bed.

“She hasn’t been eating well. She isn’t on good terms with her roommates and they are always getting into trouble. They have fights in the dining hall” Aurora replied and Jonathan laughed.

“In other words, she was getting bullied and getting starved” he replied and Aurora went silent.

“She’s malnourished and she lacks vitamins” a voice didn’t recognize but found familiar chipped in.

“And she didn’t faint because she’s getting starved and malnourished, she fainted because despite being malnourished, she was been overworked and she was beaten” the voice added and I finally recognized the voice, it was the female doctor’s.

“I know you hate her and despite her, she’s suffering already by making her a slave but all of these things aren't who we are. We aren’t short of food that a slave goes to bed without food or goes for weeks or months without food because this girl hasn’t had any worthwhile food in weeks” she continued, her voice getting sharper with every word.

“If this was the outcome you wanted, Your Highness, when you saved her that day, you shouldn't have bothered. If you want her dead, then have her killed”