Chapter Nineteen

I walked out of the room and proceeded to walk out of the room, trying to clear my head. I didn’t realize that I was already walking towards the kitchen area. Jonathan was getting so crazily on my nerves and it was getting harder to understand myself. He toiled with my emotions so easily and made me flare up so easily. With just one word from him, my anger would be up in the flames.

I hated how easily he could make me angry, it made me feel like I was being manipulated and reminded me of home. I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall and slowly opened my eyes after taking a long breadth.

The sight of my father’s stern face greeted me and I almost jumped in fright.

“Dad?” I called out drinking in the sight of him in his regal outfit, “Dad what are you doing here?” I questioned looking everywhere if anyone was coming.

“You are not supposed to be here” I whispered but his words immediately brought me to a pause.

“I said that letting your emotions show is your biggest weakness and yet you have refused to change that” he said slowly and I froze, pursing my lips.

“Dad, I…..” I trailed off, unable to find words to finish my statement.

“You are a strange land, where no one is on your side, the least you could do for yourself is to protect yourself. You shouldnt allow anyone to look at your face and know what you are thinking. Your sister is better at this than you, she knows how to hide her emotions, she knows when to display them and even to use them to her own advantage, to deceive people. I’ve told you times without numbers that you’ll be like an open book once people get a hold of that weakness, a weakness you should have discarded a long time ago. You are strong my dear, but you have to be stronger” He added and I nodded my head, tears welling up in my eyes.

“I know, I still remember everything you told me but how can I hold back when someone insults your legacy? When someone insults my family? No one should be able to stay calm, no one should stay calm, no one at all  will be able to stay calm from what I have gone through. Don’t I get to express myself. Am I not allowed to get angry?” I asked, my voice getting louder with each word.

“You haven’t seen me in a long time father and when you do, you aren’t asking how I’m faring, or how I’m doing in a strange land? Do you have any idea the amount of things I've suffered here? Do you know or have you seen how everyone here looks at me?” I asked as tears rolled down my cheeks and my father didn't say a word while I continued.

“You said I am strong but I need to be stronger, but Father, I am already stronger. I have grown so much in the last months. You have no idea the things I have done to survive, you have no idea how hard I have worked to be able to live here. I had to scavenge for food and your problem is me letting my emotions show? Telling me that my sister is better than me in that aspect, should you be comparing the two right now, at this moment?” I asked as I tried to wipe my cheeks but it was futile.

“Why should I care?” my father asked with a frown on his face and my tears ceased that very moment.

“What?” I muttered incoherently, I couldn’t believe what my father had just said.

“You do know I’m not here right? I got killed because of you, why should I care if you had to scavenge for food? You killed meee!” My father yelled and I instantly crouched to the ground covering my head while shaking in fear.

“Amira, Amira” a voice called and a hand suddenly hurled me to my feet. I looked around and my father was nowhere to be found.

“Look at me, are you okay?” The voice was clear and I quickly realized that it was Juniper.

“I saw my father” I replied to him slowly and Juniper shook his head, “That was a figment of your imagination. Your father is dead” Juniper replied.

“He said he didn’t care what happened to me that I killed him so i’m gonna have karma” I added shakily as tears resumed running down my cheeks.

“Ami, that’s all in your head. I’m sure your father didn’t share such unethical words with you ever. Stop thinking about it, did something happen?” Juniper asked and I chuckled realizing that I hadn’t apologized to him yet he was still on my side, concerned and worried about me. 

“I’m sorry about before Juniper, I was wrong and I also I walked out on you and everything was a mess. I also stalled apologizing to you because I was embarrassed and ashamed and then this happened and yet you still came to stand beside me. I’m so sorry Juni” I apologized sincerely and Charlie honestly.

“C’mon I would have come looking for you at your palace but I still very much like, love my life that’s why I haven't come to look for you myself” he replied and his words made me laugh and smile. I just knew that he was right but it made me feel awkward that I had expected it.

“And since apologies are in order, I'd like to tender mine. I am sorry Ami. I know what situations brought you here and I know how you feel. I should have said that in front of you.It was inconsiderate and I was almost pushing down my opinions down your throat and at the end of the day, you lost your control and I regretted it. I’m sorry and I promise that I would never do that again” Juniper said and I chuckled, a smile spreading across my lips.

“So we are good” I said softly and Juniper chuckled.

“We are going to be good, always. Always and forever going to be good because no matter what; I’ll always be on your side”